Q. What did the feminist woman get her family for Christmas?
A. A bigger litter box and a brand new scratching post.
Q. What do feminists and Duracell have in common?
A They go on and on and on and on and...
Q. How to make a feminist dislike you:
A. Have a penis.
Q. How can you tell you are in a feminist bookshop?
A. There is no humour section.
Q. Why did the man cross the road?
A. To rape the women on the other side, according to Feminists.
My girlfriend is mentally retarded.
Or if you want to be politically correct, a feminist.
Q. What do feminists hate more than a sexist joke?
A. Having it explained to them by a man.
If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, would the feminists blame the men for it?
Q. If two feminists get drunk and hook up,
were they both raped?
Q. How do you satisfy a feminist?
A. By telling her that you can't.
Doctor Doctor, my period won't end!
Ahhh, I'm afraid you've caught feminism.
Q. How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. Don't be stupid, feminists can't change anything!
Feminists have an opinion too.
It's just a shame nobody cares what it is.
I went to a feminist picnic the other day.
It was great, apart from the fact no one made any sandwiches.
Teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime.
Teach a feminist to fish and she will accuse you of patronising her, claim she knew how to do it anyway and that even if she didn't, she could easily work it out without the help of a man.
Optimist- The glass is half full.
Pessimist- The glass is half empty.
Feminist- The glass is being raped.
What started Feminism?
An unlocked kitchen door.
Q. Why do Japanese Sumo wrestlers shave their legs?
A. So you can tell them apart from feminists.
Q. What's the best way to piss off a feminist?
A. Rape her.
Feminists, If you hate men so much, why are you always trying to be like us?
Feminists have got it all wrong. Us men don't 'see all women as sex objects'.
Just the ones with nice tits and arses.
Q: How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 20. One to change the bulb and 19 to make a documentary about it
Feminists: if only they put all that passion into their cooking.
White Knight: I've joined the local Feminists' Society.
White Knight: Hopefully once they see what an informed and enlightened kind of guy I am, I'll get to pump a few of them.
My girlfriend always says, "Women belong in the kitchen."
Fuck that - she's staying in the cellar.
Q. How many feminists does it take to cook me dinner?
A. Seven. One to do the frying and six to suck my dick
"Don't tell women how to dress, tell men not to rape!"
"No one asks to be raped!"
"Women can dress however they want!"
OK feminists.
I guess we should tell niggers not to attack me as I walk through Hackney, instead of asking me to take off my KKK robes, right?
Which came first?
Feminism or Ugly women?
Q.How many hot feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. Trick question - there are no hot feminists.
My wife says SHE is the main breadwinner and I need to treat her like SHE is the man of the house...
So I divorced her and took the house.
I went up to a feminist and asked her what she thought about the WWE.
She said, "Well, what I think is..."
"IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOU THINK!"
How do you confuse a feminist?
Tell her that your wife wants the right to an abortion.
Then tell her it's because your wife doesn't want a girl!
I saw a bloke wearing a T-shirt that said, "This is what a feminist looks like".
Right enough, he had no tits and a bit of a moustache.
Why did the feminist cross the road.
To complain about sexism to the men who were building it.
What do feminists and the homeless have in common?
Both are desperate for change, but ignoring them seems to work.
Today I'm getting in touch with my feminine side...
I shall remain blameless all day.
If men aren't smarter than women, then why do they have gender specific world championships in chess?
Q.What's the difference between a feminist and a lesbian...
A. Feminists make shit porn
A group of feminist women with strap on dildos pins a known rapist down and says,"Right,how bout some role reversal."
The rapist says,"Not now,I've got a headache."
I met my new boss today.
She said, "I want you to know I'm a feminist."
I replied, "That's great, I hate women too."
My feminist girlfriend was telling me about the wage gap between men and women and I think it's disgusting.
Did you know women make 20% less money than men?
I think it's about fucking time they pulled their weight.
1936: Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn
2013: Whatever you say dear
My daughter asked me to buy her a t-shirt with the slogan "This is what a feminist looks like".
But they don't seem to sell any in sizes below XXXL.
A. A bigger litter box and a brand new scratching post.
Q. What do feminists and Duracell have in common?
A They go on and on and on and on and...
Q. How to make a feminist dislike you:
A. Have a penis.
Q. How can you tell you are in a feminist bookshop?
A. There is no humour section.
Q. Why did the man cross the road?
A. To rape the women on the other side, according to Feminists.
My girlfriend is mentally retarded.
Or if you want to be politically correct, a feminist.
Q. What do feminists hate more than a sexist joke?
A. Having it explained to them by a man.
If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, would the feminists blame the men for it?
Q. If two feminists get drunk and hook up,
were they both raped?
Q. How do you satisfy a feminist?
A. By telling her that you can't.
Doctor Doctor, my period won't end!
Ahhh, I'm afraid you've caught feminism.
Q. How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. Don't be stupid, feminists can't change anything!
Feminists have an opinion too.
It's just a shame nobody cares what it is.
I went to a feminist picnic the other day.
It was great, apart from the fact no one made any sandwiches.
Teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime.
Teach a feminist to fish and she will accuse you of patronising her, claim she knew how to do it anyway and that even if she didn't, she could easily work it out without the help of a man.
Optimist- The glass is half full.
Pessimist- The glass is half empty.
Feminist- The glass is being raped.
What started Feminism?
An unlocked kitchen door.
Q. Why do Japanese Sumo wrestlers shave their legs?
A. So you can tell them apart from feminists.
Q. What's the best way to piss off a feminist?
A. Rape her.
Feminists, If you hate men so much, why are you always trying to be like us?
Feminists have got it all wrong. Us men don't 'see all women as sex objects'.
Just the ones with nice tits and arses.
Q: How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 20. One to change the bulb and 19 to make a documentary about it
Feminists: if only they put all that passion into their cooking.
White Knight: I've joined the local Feminists' Society.
White Knight: Hopefully once they see what an informed and enlightened kind of guy I am, I'll get to pump a few of them.
My girlfriend always says, "Women belong in the kitchen."
Fuck that - she's staying in the cellar.
Q. How many feminists does it take to cook me dinner?
A. Seven. One to do the frying and six to suck my dick
"Don't tell women how to dress, tell men not to rape!"
"No one asks to be raped!"
"Women can dress however they want!"
OK feminists.
I guess we should tell niggers not to attack me as I walk through Hackney, instead of asking me to take off my KKK robes, right?
Which came first?
Feminism or Ugly women?
Q.How many hot feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. Trick question - there are no hot feminists.
My wife says SHE is the main breadwinner and I need to treat her like SHE is the man of the house...
So I divorced her and took the house.
I went up to a feminist and asked her what she thought about the WWE.
She said, "Well, what I think is..."
"IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOU THINK!"
How do you confuse a feminist?
Tell her that your wife wants the right to an abortion.
Then tell her it's because your wife doesn't want a girl!
I saw a bloke wearing a T-shirt that said, "This is what a feminist looks like".
Right enough, he had no tits and a bit of a moustache.
Why did the feminist cross the road.
To complain about sexism to the men who were building it.
What do feminists and the homeless have in common?
Both are desperate for change, but ignoring them seems to work.
Today I'm getting in touch with my feminine side...
I shall remain blameless all day.
If men aren't smarter than women, then why do they have gender specific world championships in chess?
Q.What's the difference between a feminist and a lesbian...
A. Feminists make shit porn
A group of feminist women with strap on dildos pins a known rapist down and says,"Right,how bout some role reversal."
The rapist says,"Not now,I've got a headache."
I met my new boss today.
She said, "I want you to know I'm a feminist."
I replied, "That's great, I hate women too."
My feminist girlfriend was telling me about the wage gap between men and women and I think it's disgusting.
Did you know women make 20% less money than men?
I think it's about fucking time they pulled their weight.
1936: Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn
2013: Whatever you say dear
My daughter asked me to buy her a t-shirt with the slogan "This is what a feminist looks like".
But they don't seem to sell any in sizes below XXXL.
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