[Lex S.]

I haven't gotten this one in years, but this one is specifically confusing. Meet a girl 3 weeks ago, she approached. We see each other 4 times and have sex one of the times. Every time she's all over me and constantly texting me except for this weekend when we went to a party and she started getting cold on me. She used to text me every day, but this week I only heard from her once, where a remark to a comment she made resulted in her calling me a jerk. I call her today and she says this weird cryptic thing about hating guys. I then get this text from her:

"I like you and I think you're cool but I feel like you're probably not right for me. I need someone who's going to treat me like a girl and be really sweet to me. I've dated a lot of jerks and can't do that again."

Now the first two things that pop out to me are I'm *probably* not right for her and that she must love jerks - I was a jerk when I first met her, and I noticed she began going cold on me at the party when I was doing excessive PDA.

I'm waiting till tomorrow to respond, and I'm thinking of just deflecting her statements with something like these:
- You're a girl? Thank God!
- Your flirting could use some work
- Cool story, bro
- Alright, so we'll meet at X at 9:00 on Saturday
- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pauwBE1Rxfw
- Ignore it completely

Yay? Nay?

[Jesus Christ]

When you are experienced this is so rare it's not even worth thinking about. Frankly I would just dump her. Most girls know that men will leave them if they don't put out, unless they are men with no self-respect who don't get women. So either you've made the mistake of projecting yourself as a total loser, or she doesn't care about losing you. Either way she couldn't care less so it's best to move on.

[Snowplow]

Those work. Or just say "well, it's been fun" and go radio silent. Dread game her.

[SlickyBoy]

That isn't a shit test, that's a dump. Might sound cruel, but move on - she already has.

[WestIndianArchie]

Yup SlickyBoy is right. She's rejecting you.

If you ever hear those words
1) walk out/hang up/ stop responding
2) don't say anything to her ever again

A girl that knows you want her sexually but only wants you as a friend will inevitably end up using you. Because she needs a strong back and a logical mind more than you'll ever need help with interior decoration advice.

Can she help you move furniture?
Would she pick up at the airport?
Help you swap out a transmission?

Hey Amiga, I've got a hot bitch coming over, can you help me clean my kitchen and bathroom?

Broad liable to leave her hair there to fuck up your game.

Will she put in a good word with her friends so you can fuck them? Lol

Not saying that you shouldn't have female friends, or that girls are only good for fucking, but you've got to recognize a woman's penchant for manipulation.

Keep your eyes on the prize.

WIA

[kaotic]

Co-sign with WIA.

Dude you already fucked her, you won.

She got all butthurt because of comment you made so she called you a jerk.

Fuck her lol, she doesn't matter, don't say a damn word.

Let her hamster spin, she probably did dump you, if she ever comes back - the balls in your court.

[olive]

(12-02-2015 12:31 AM)Lex S. Wrote:  

I haven't gotten this one in years, but this one is specifically confusing. Meet a girl 3 weeks ago, she approached. We see each other 4 times and have sex one of the times. Every time she's all over me and constantly texting me except for this weekend when we went to a party and she started getting cold on me. She used to text me every day, but this week I only heard from her once, where a remark to a comment she made resulted in her calling me a jerk. I call her today and she says this weird cryptic thing about hating guys. I then get this text from her:

"I like you and I think you're cool but I feel like you're probably not right for me. I need someone who's going to treat me like a girl and be really sweet to me. I've dated a lot of jerks and can't do that again."

Now the first two things that pop out to me are I'm *probably* not right for her and that she must love jerks - I was a jerk when I first met her, and I noticed she began going cold on me at the party when I was doing excessive PDA.

I'm waiting till tomorrow to respond, and I'm thinking of just deflecting her statements with something like these:
- You're a girl? Thank God!
- Your flirting could use some work
- Cool story, bro
- Alright, so we'll meet at X at 9:00 on Saturday
- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pauwBE1Rxfw
- Ignore it completely

Yay? Nay?

sounds like a decent waste of your time... you gotta ask yourself:

[debeguiled]

It could be that your remark made her feel rejected, and she had to sour grape you first.

[PapayaTapper]

WIA and others have said it...she's done, so you should be too.

The only advice I have is try to learn from it. Where did it go wrong?

From what you wrote above it sounds likely went from "interesting / jerky Mr Tingles" (exciting) guy to "nice / safe" (boring) guy in her mind

How'd that happen? The "constantly texting" element above is the first clue to me.

Want to know how to keep a girl? The best way to learn that is to learn the best way to get rid of one.

Want to know the best way to get rid of a girl? Text or call her, multiple times a day, tell her how much you like / need her, etc...Do that and you could probably watch her pussy dry up like it was time-lapsed photography. Seriously

Want to keep her? Do a version of the opposite of that...

Second thing: Disregard what women say they want. It's worth repeating. Disregard what women say they want. She says she wants a nice guy who treats her well? Bullshit...she may say she wants that but what turns her on is beyond her control or descision. (This becomes less true for older chicks who see the wall coming or realize they've hit it)

EDIT: BTW (How old is she?)

In summary:


Be less available

Text for logistics only

Keep conversations sexualized.

Stay mysterious/unavailable (interesting) in her mind and you get to stay in her pussy

or

"Tingles" for her = pussy for you

[olive]

before you move on, text her "I love you" lol

[PapayaTapper]

Just remembered this text I came up with and used about a month ago on chick that started fading on me a 2-3 bangs in. It might be appropriate for you:

Girl-"Hey I'm really not sure I want to do this anymore...blaha blah"

PT- "Message 401: The ATT subscriber you are trying to reach has changed his settings and is no longer receiving your messages"

Girl "Haha"

(I had cut and pasted the above so it was instant response)

PT- "Message 401: The ATT subscriber you are trying to reach has changed his settings and is no longer receiving your messages"

Girl- "seriously?"

PT- "Message 401: The ATT subscriber you are trying to reach has changed his settings and is no longer receiving your messages"

Two days later after radio silence

Girl-"PT are you still blocking me?"

PT- "Message 401: The ATT subscriber you are trying to reach has changed his settings and is no longer receiving your drama"

Girl- "Im sorry, I was having a bad day"

PT- "Come over here and prove it"

Game on...

[WestIndianArchie]

*added to bag of tricks*

[HankMoody]

I would just respond "ok" and bang on.

If she's actually dumping you, she'll go radio silent and that's that.

If she's just trying to shit test you, she'll send you followup texts.

Either way, don't try and inject actual logic or strategic planning when it comes to the hamster wheels. Women are dictated entirely by emotion, and trying to understand them is a waste of time. Just ignore their bullshit and do your thing.

[olive]

Just did that "okay" text and worked wonders!

Basically she sent a wall of text (like 500 words - on WhatsApp) explaining every possible reason why we shouldn't be together.

I sent "Okay no problem. Wish you the best". Nothing more from either side for months.

She came back, inserted herself back in my life 2 mo later with a bumped into you on the street trick(!) in central London lol

This worked for me this time because she was already genuinely confused and listened to her silly friends. Young girl too.

Important to make it clear there is no staying friends option. You're just top busy with sexy woman with a brain and no fucking about instincts. If she can't be one "fuck you very much respectfully bye" is the way to go. The coldness in that might turn around a wavering other party but I wouldn't bet on them coming back.

Best way forward is putting eggs to at least 5 separate bags so no pussy drama queen cause more than 20% drama. If you're hoping her to really call/come back, you're already where you don't wanna be.

@OP
Just don't let her dictate the game. Make it clear your game is not drama and if she wants to play that one she will need a new stage and co-loser-actor. Life is too short and you just don't do that.

[Sonoma]

Awesome, unsolicited lets just be friends text. Means its on her mind. I would just set a date for your next meet up and never acknowledge her sentiment

[WanderingSoul]

I had a girl I HADN'T banged yet message me this. She was acting weird because she saw photos of my ex who was way prettier than her.

I just responded.

"My friends quota is all filled up. Maybe next time lol."

She was furious, called me an asshole, thought I was different but I'm not, etc.

I just wrote "That's the nicest thing anyone's said to me all week."

I had very little interest in this girl so I didn't care either way. If you actually like the girl I'd probably just go no contact because it's over with you two, but I entertained myself for about 5 minutes with this.

[WestIndianArchie]

(12-02-2015 05:37 PM)olive Wrote:  

before you move on, text her "I love you" lol

Love trolling, brilliant

[RexImperator]

^^^Darn. I wish I thought of that when a girl friend-zoned me last year.

[PapayaTapper]

(12-03-2015 11:52 AM)RexImperator Wrote:  

^^^Darn. I wish I thought of that when a girl friend-zoned me last year.

The irony is that the "I love you" is more likely to work when you truly couldn't care less

[olive]

(12-03-2015 01:20 PM)PapayaTapper Wrote:  

(12-03-2015 11:52 AM)RexImperator Wrote:  

^^^Darn. I wish I thought of that when a girl friend-zoned me last year.

The irony is that the "I love you" is more likely to work when you truly couldn't care less

yea it does work - occasionally. I do it in person too - delivery obviously is too important but in text, in this context, you don't give a f about it anyway.

usual follow up is: I bet you say that to every woman!? you can almost see her mental calculator going into overdrive.
I try a few different things there but what gets the hillarious responses is: what can I say I am full of love! after a very brief pause, before she gets a chance to respond, followed by ...but you're different!

[Jesus Christ]

I would argue that women know full-well that friendzoning is an act of utmost disrespect. I have spoken to sluts post-sex about their orbiters, many of them laughed and took the piss, knowing full well that these guys were just wimps that they was taking advantage of.

It is important to realize that she knows full-well what she is doing. If you accept this kind of disrespect, she sees you as even weaker and loses respect for you completely. The only possible high-value response is walking away and never looking back, anything else is weak beyond repair.

[mammal]

"LJBF" in girlspeak translates into manspeak into "I'm not interested but I want to end this in a friendly way." "End this" being key.
If she really wanted to be your friend or best friend she'd hook you up with her firends, but that won't happen.

[PapayaTapper]

(12-03-2015 01:29 PM)Jesus Christ Wrote:  

I would argue that women know full-well that friendzoning is an act of utmost disrespect. I have spoken to sluts post-sex about their orbiters, many of them laughed and took the piss, knowing full well that these guys were just wimps that they was taking advantage of.

It is important to realize that she knows full-well what she is doing. If you accept this kind of disrespect, she sees you as even weaker and loses respect for you completely. The only possible high-value response is walking away and never looking back, anything else is weak beyond repair.

Actually dudes friend zone themselves. It's their behavior/action (or even inaction) that causes her reaction. Friend zoning is just a consequence of our (it's happened to all of us) inability to maintain/ create the attraction...."tingles"

However, to your point, a girl does decide whether exploit the power she has over an orbiter. But then the decision to remain in the friend zone and allow it to continue is back to being the dude's decision.

[Moto]

A girl I once dated gave me that line, or "test" before we had hooked up or started dating.

My response was, "Sure, you mean friends that have sex."

It worked in the moment, in the state I was in, in a club environment. I guarantee nothing with this, but it worked for me once.

[h3ltrsk3ltr]

(12-02-2015 12:31 AM)Lex S. Wrote:  

"I like you and I think you're cool but I feel like you're probably not right for me. I need someone who's going to treat me like a girl and be really sweet to me. I've dated a lot of jerks and can't do that again."

She sounds crazy.

Crazy sex is the best.