[Anonybrit]

Hope this isn't a wall of text, I've tried to condense into the salient facts.

I don't know what the general attitude towards meeting girls online is here but 1) I'm new to this and 2) I'm after black/asian girls that you can't find in my city, so I've been trying my luck online (and been very successful but haven't pulled the trigger on anyone yet).

Anyway so I met a girl by chance on a forum, she's 17 (18 in a couple weeks) and I'm 22, legal in the UK of course but that's still quite a maturity gap. Anyway we talked as friends for a few months and I never really thought anything of her until she left an ex and start coming on to me strong. She is probably the most sexual girl I have ever encountered, the sex with this chick would be utterly out of this world based purely on her desire.

I was surprised when she said she felt uncomfortable meeting up with someone she met online when I talked about making this real. I clarified that we'd just meet as friends, go the cinema etc. and there'd be no expectations and my only response to that was a few hours later was "well if I start blowing you in the back of the cinema, don't blame me xxx".

So I don't really know where to go from this point. I left it a few days and sure enough she couldn't help herself and started texting, even writing on my fb for all to see.

Because of the age difference I'm cautious, I don't know whether to up the ante and be more forward, or whether to just back off and leave it. I have tried being more forward since but she still become tepid and backs off.

Any ideas?

[Gmac]

(06-22-2011 04:06 PM)Anonybrit Wrote:  

Hope this isn't a wall of text, I've tried to condense into the salient facts.

I don't know what the general attitude towards meeting girls online is here but 1) I'm new to this and 2) I'm after black/asian girls that you can't find in my city, so I've been trying my luck online (and been very successful but haven't pulled the trigger on anyone yet).

Anyway so I met a girl by chance on a forum, she's 17 (18 in a couple weeks) and I'm 22, legal in the UK of course but that's still quite a maturity gap. Anyway we talked as friends for a few months and I never really thought anything of her until she left an ex and start coming on to me strong. She is probably the most sexual girl I have ever encountered, the sex with this chick would be utterly out of this world based purely on her desire.

I was surprised when she said she felt uncomfortable meeting up with someone she met online when I talked about making this real. I clarified that we'd just meet as friends, go the cinema etc. and there'd be no expectations and my only response to that was a few hours later was "well if I start blowing you in the back of the cinema, don't blame me xxx".

So I don't really know where to go from this point. I left it a few days and sure enough she couldn't help herself and started texting, even writing on my fb for all to see.

Because of the age difference I'm cautious, I don't know whether to up the ante and be more forward, or whether to just back off and leave it. I have tried being more forward since but she still become tepid and backs off.

Any ideas?

I've been in a similar situation with girls who are too paranoid to meet up. It's usually a long shot, but if you're set on it (which it sounds like)... try to built that comfort in other ways first.

That means talking on the phone and/or other methods first. Get her to talk for a bit, then work from there.

I'm talking "Mad Python" game... we're talking days, weeks, months... however long it takes. Personally, (and based on my experience) it's not worth it. But if you're set on it, this is the route to go.

Then again, she could be fucking with you... and it could be a big hoax. Your call in any event.

[Neo]

Find another girl.

[Neo]

Find another girl. I've been on a shitload of first dates from match and pof. Seriously if this girl doesn't want to meet up there are plenty of others who will. I've been in your situation before and it's rarely salvageable, as the other poster said you can try to build comfort but it may take a long time or possibly never happen.

Also I personally never give any girl my facebook before we've gone on at least a few dates(or preferably I fucked her). I've made that mistake, it takes away all the mystery and she can stalk your wall posts and pictures. I've personally lost almost every girl that friended me on facebook before we met. I used to think it would make her feel more comfortable, but in my experience it worked against me.

[CJ]

(06-22-2011 08:02 PM)Gmac Wrote:  

Then again, she could be fucking with you... and it could be a big hoax.

Could be Dash!

[Anonybrit]

This girl is legit and we didn't meet on a dating site, just got chatting on a regular forum. She is quite self conscious which is another reason I think she's put off, but she has such an absurdly high sex drive and is so incredibly filthy she just can't keep herself from diving back into the fantasies with me - she finds me very attractive and from what I can tell, we have amazing sexual chemistry, it's just a matter of getting to know her a little better I guess...

Gmac you mentioned playing it like "Mad Python" haha, I'm going to be away for a lot of this summer so I was hoping to make a quick kill That's going to be extremely hard but this girl literally thinks with her clit when she's horny enough so I think I'll lay off for a bit, work the friendship angle, then in a week or two just wind her pussy up until she can't resist

Would you guys advise that I cut down on the dirty talk, or should I keep it up?

[iknowexactly]

(06-23-2011 02:23 AM)Anonybrit Wrote:  

This someone you've never met or even talked to on a phone? One time I did this with a chick, she was all set to fly to visit me. Never happened.

What's happening with you and her is ALL FANTASY.

You wouldn't be relating with each other this way if you were ready to deal with real interaction.

My guess is there's ALWAYS going to be a reason why,gosh, just this time, she can't come see you.

How do you know it's not a guy?

You're the medical student that smarter than s*it, right? I describe these situations with my therapy patients as an example of
a "double-edged sword." Your intelligence means you can win, make a ton of money, get respect, etc.

But the same tight type of focus makes it really hard to just let go with the physical attraction of a nearby girl.

No plan, not barrier, just pure self-indulgence and taking what you want. Sometimes you can be too clever by half.

They don't want you to be polite. Just take what you want. Which you can't do across an internet connection.

[sir_seducer]

when you will actually start approaching girls in real...you will less likely to develop ONE ITIS for an online girl who is wasting your time and age.

[Anonybrit]

@iknowexactly I hear what you're saying, but this girl is just 30 mins from me and she seems the real deal. She's fucking around with some unimpressive guy her own age that seems incapable of doing anything but getting his dick out, and yet she goes to town on him. She texts me the other day telling me how proud she is that she just achieved her personal goal: to deep throat his entire dick.

This guy does not deserve that kind of action and she is getting sick of him because he can't provide the emotional/passionate experience. I know that I can give her all of that and we'd have a great time but she has never met up with anyone she has met online even as friends - me and a lot of people I know have done that many times before but to her it's an alien concept.

So I don't think it's a pipe dream, it's a genuine challenge and I'm just not sure how to crack it in the short term (ie. without putting months in). She seems like the ideal FWB; smart, laid back, down to earth, easy going but grade A freaky.

EDIT: Don't forget the self-consciousness issue, she thinks I am way out of her league physically (I don't really think I am tbh)

[Gmac]

(06-23-2011 04:40 AM)Anonybrit Wrote:  

@iknowexactly I hear what you're saying, but this girl is just 30 mins from me and she seems the real deal. She's fucking around with some unimpressive guy her own age that seems incapable of doing anything but getting his dick out, and yet she goes to town on him. She texts me the other day telling me how proud she is that she just achieved her personal goal: to deep throat his entire dick.

This guy does not deserve that kind of action and she is getting sick of him because he can't provide the emotional/passionate experience. I know that I can give her all of that and we'd have a great time but she has never met up with anyone she has met online even as friends - me and a lot of people I know have done that many times before but to her it's an alien concept.

So I don't think it's a pipe dream, it's a genuine challenge and I'm just not sure how to crack it in the short term (ie. without putting months in). She seems like the ideal FWB; smart, laid back, down to earth, easy going but grade A freaky.

EDIT: Don't forget the self-consciousness issue, she thinks I am way out of her league physically (I don't really think I am tbh)

I am going to tell you this because you seem like you're still young & impressionable and new to the whole "meeting online people" thing...

People that you try to develop relationships with online tend to turn out MUCH different in the real world. It's very easy for people to hide their true selves, flaws, and eccentricities when they don't have to see you face to face. Keep that in mind if you continue pursuing this.

Quote:

I'm just not sure how to crack it in the short term (ie. without putting months in).

Quote:

...talked as friends for a few months

You're already in too deep.

My advice is to take one last shot and let it go. Your obsession with this girl isn't doing you any favors.

[Anonybrit]

It's really not an obsession, when I say I talked for months I mean I had her on facebook and she would occasionally strike up a chat. I never gave her any thought until the last 2 weeks or so when she has been like a sexual demon. I will be texting her, she'll turn the convo dirty and she'll literally have to run off to finger herself.

Basically this is a nice, smart, friendly girl who would be a demon in the sack if she lives up to even half of what she has been doing with other guys, it just feels like a crime to let this slip away.

I'll still just take one shot and then leave it though, I agree there's no point in wasting time on someone who isn't serious, but how do I take that last shot?

Do I pressure her? Do I just leave the window open for her to offer? What?

[amistod]

(06-22-2011 10:43 PM)CJ Wrote:  

(06-22-2011 08:02 PM)Gmac Wrote:  

Then again, she could be fucking with you... and it could be a big hoax.

Could be Dash!

[Gmac]

(06-23-2011 07:02 AM)Anonybrit Wrote:  

It's really not an obsession, when I say I talked for months I mean I had her on facebook and she would occasionally strike up a chat. I never gave her any thought until the last 2 weeks or so when she has been like a sexual demon. I will be texting her, she'll turn the convo dirty and she'll literally have to run off to finger herself.

Basically this is a nice, smart, friendly girl who would be a demon in the sack if she lives up to even half of what she has been doing with other guys, it just feels like a crime to let this slip away.

I'll still just take one shot and then leave it though, I agree there's no point in wasting time on someone who isn't serious, but how do I take that last shot?

Do I pressure her? Do I just leave the window open for her to offer? What?

Ok whatever, call it what you want. I'm just trying to help, but I can tell just by what you've told me and how you write that it's more than that.

You have to build enough comfort (which is difficult when you're meeting girls outside of dating sites online) to where she'll meet you in person. Then you run regular game. Don't expect to bang her the first time you meet (if that happens at all).

[Anonybrit]

Prety sure she'll bang 1st night but getting that meet up is going to be hard as hell. I am very good at putting girls at ease, making them feel like it's all natural and like they've known me for a long time, but you're right.. it is give or take if this meet will ever happen.

No way of building up the comfort quickly? I don't have long to nail this.

[iknowexactly]

watching a 20 year old horny medical student waste time on an online chick who gives him problems is like watching a guy walk down the street on the way to a store that's closed, with wads of 100 ( euro/pound/dollar) bills in his pockets, , and they're falling off the wads into the street-but he won't look around and see.

1) You talk about a "girl"-- there's no girl-- a girl is a flesh-and-blood object, if you will. Here there are only electrons on a screen.

It certainly could be a gay guy getting off on teasing you, and theoretically could be a graduate project in artificial intelligence.

2) If there is a real girl on the other end, "Difficult women remain difficult" and she probably won't meet and fcuk

3) EVEN IF SHE MEETS you and fcuks you, her neurotic avoidance of arousal ( overall, not just sexual) will derail any kind of ongoing, satisfying interaction.

My guess on your chances of this being worth it in terms of getting her? Less than 1%.

The lesson that the only real currency in relationships is the girl underneath you orgasming? Priceless.

[Anonybrit]

Quote:

watching a 20 year old horny medical student waste time on an online chick who gives him problems is like watching a guy walk down the street on the way to a store that's closed, with wads of 100 ( euro/pound/dollar) bills in his pockets, , and they're falling off the wads into the street-but he won't look around and see.

LOL! Well you see I hang around with the same 80 other medical students I've seen day in day out for 3 years on whom the "well hellooooo, I'm a doctor don't you know " line doesn't work quite so well

Anyway I'm sure you're right for 99.999999% of girls on the internet, and I agree there is a high chance this girl won't pull through and I shouldn't get bogged down in this, but, I have a couple of weeks until I leave the country for a good couple of months and it'd be a nice start to the summer if I could net this.. so I am gonna give it a go. I'll just be forward and push her to meet up and if she runs off, whatever.

But she isn't neurotically avoiding arousal, she is the horniest girl I have ever encountered, she is just too apprehensive about meeting someone online at this stage.

Quote:

The lesson that the only real currency in relationships is the girl underneath you orgasming? Priceless.

Point taken.. but our orgasm is just as important yo

[iknowexactly]

--But she isn't neurotically avoiding arousal, ....


I disagree, there's no way her masturbatory fantasies up the ante like real risk of rejection and hostility

Although the neurochemical/personality theory of Cloninger could argue she is high on both the novelty-seeking and reward-dependence axes.

Take the medical school halo out of the angel camp!
If you're leaving in a few weeks you'll see by then, and either get the chick or get the lesson.

[Gmac]

(06-23-2011 11:44 AM)Anonybrit Wrote:  

Quote:

watching a 20 year old horny medical student waste time on an online chick who gives him problems is like watching a guy walk down the street on the way to a store that's closed, with wads of 100 ( euro/pound/dollar) bills in his pockets, , and they're falling off the wads into the street-but he won't look around and see.

LOL! Well you see I hang around with the same 80 other medical students I've seen day in day out for 3 years on whom the "well hellooooo, I'm a doctor don't you know " line doesn't work quite so well

Anyway I'm sure you're right for 99.999999% of girls on the internet, and I agree there is a high chance this girl won't pull through and I shouldn't get bogged down in this, but, I have a couple of weeks until I leave the country for a good couple of months and it'd be a nice start to the summer if I could net this.. so I am gonna give it a go. I'll just be forward and push her to meet up and if she runs off, whatever.

But she isn't neurotically avoiding arousal, she is the horniest girl I have ever encountered, she is just too apprehensive about meeting someone online at this stage.

Quote:

The lesson that the only real currency in relationships is the girl underneath you orgasming? Priceless.

Point taken.. but our orgasm is just as important yo

Ok, now I seriously want to punch you. You really don't get it and you're not listening to anyone else, yet you came here for advice.

Learn the hard way.

P.S. Lose the gay emoticons.

[Anonybrit]

(06-23-2011 01:30 PM)Gmac Wrote:  

Ok, now I seriously want to punch you. You really don't get it and you're not listening to anyone else, yet you came here for advice.

Learn the hard way.

P.S. Lose the gay emoticons.

Lmao, I literally predicted this response. You're a numbskull trying to pedal the your "standard response to threads about girls online".

You're the one that isn't listening, I have considered everything everyone has said and replied accordingly. Just because I didn't quote you saying "ok I'll just drop it then" doesn't mean I'm not considering what you guys say. Give the thread a re-read if you can't comprehend that.

[Baldwin81]

(06-23-2011 02:19 PM)Anonybrit Wrote:  

(06-23-2011 01:30 PM)Gmac Wrote:  

Ok, now I seriously want to punch you. You really don't get it and you're not listening to anyone else, yet you came here for advice.

Learn the hard way.

P.S. Lose the gay emoticons.

Lmao, I literally predicted this response. You're a numbskull trying to pedal the your "standard response to threads about girls online".

You're the one that isn't listening, I have considered everything everyone has said and replied accordingly. Just because I didn't quote you saying "ok I'll just drop it then" doesn't mean I'm not considering what you guys say. Give the thread a re-read if you can't comprehend that.

Street Smarts > (Virtual) Street smarts > Book Smarts