[Adrenaline]

I'm guessing not many players are introverts but as one myself, I've always struggled with motivation to game women. Constantly communicating with and keeping different women on the go is an annoying inconvenience to me. On so many occasions I've just given up messaging girls simply because I can't be bothered going through all the effort competing with 10 other guys for their attention, eventually meeting up with them, and having to live up to their expectations all for a slice of pussy, and I feel like an idiot who's wasting opportunities every time. I feel as if I'm gaming these women because it's what I should be doing, rather than what I want to be doing and a big part of that is the need to elevate my notch count and get experience while I'm in my prime and able. I've been with quite a few girls due to SNL but have never been with the same girl more than once and don't consider myself sexually experienced. It's worrying to me that majority of girls may be more experienced than me. I probably have a higher notch count, but they've had that steady sexual experience with dating guys. I don't want to look back in 10 years and think I should have done more, because at 24 I'm already feeling that way in regards to the last 7-8 years of my life where I've been content to study, work out, play sport and dance in clubs without really taking all the opportunities that girls have thrown at me. Having said that, I'm not the type of guy to read books and play video games all week. I love going out drinking, dancing and having a good time but if I meet a girl and it doesn't happen that night I simply can't be assed meeting up with her again. I hate texting (even though my text game is strong). I hate phone calls. I hate situations where I'm forced to speak constantly such as dinners or "coffee dates" (Amount of actual dates in my life = single digits). Meeting new people or socialising in large groups is also uncomfortable. This is probably why I'm more comfortable in bar/club environments where strong, silent types can flourish using solely looks, body language and a few words. Sometimes I think I would be better off settling into a steady relationship, but living in Australia I feel as if I should be wiser than that. After all, I havent met a girl worthy of settling down with in my life here.

I was hoping I could get some advice. Am I just not cut out for the player lifestyle? Should I push through it and force myself to peruse more leads and go on more dates? If I don't will I regret it in the future?

[OregonToSoCal]

(08-19-2015 09:02 AM)Adrenaline Wrote:  

I feel as if I'm gaming these women because it's what I should be doing, rather than what I want to be doing

You just answered your own question there. As tempting as it is to compare yourself to others you ultimately have to do exactly what makes you happy. For some of us that's going out every night of the week. For others it's going out once a month. Game should not feel like a job or going to university. It should be for your own personal growth and enjoyment.

With that being said, if the player lifestyle goes against your basic character and personality and you truly do not take any pleasure from it, why in the world are you forcing yourself to do it? You would be much happier devoting that energy into hobbies and activities that do interest you and you might develop a social circle that helps you to meet new women.

[SvenTuga]

I agree with ^^^^

That is one of the disadvantages of being an introvert, and it doesn't help that the advice in this forum is mainly directed for extroverted personalities.

The first thing I would say is that don't use being an introvert as an excuse. Yes, it is your nature, much like mine, but you should always try and expand your comfort zone. As one introverted manosphere blogger wrote (Redpillgame) Learn to wear the extrovert skin. Yes, making small talk is a pain and it drains you but if you want to have a sex life it is necessary.

Another suggestion is to also try and look for introverted girls, in bookstores for example. From experience they understand you, and have generally better character and are more interesting than extroverted girls.

[lskdfjldsf]

Adrenaline, I posted a thread on self-improvement for introverts here: http://www.rooshvforum.network/thread-49746.html

It's all within reach.

[TheMaleBrain]

Seems like a classic inner game issue.

My advice - look for friends who game. You will be "pressured" to game as well, with them.
Another option - set goals.
Do the "100 approaches - one approach per day".
You will probably find a few for which you would like to go with the motion.

[Khan]

(08-19-2015 09:02 AM)Adrenaline Wrote:  

This is probably why I'm more comfortable in bar/club environments where strong, silent types can flourish using solely looks, body language and a few words.

From one introvert to another: you would be surprised to see that what you described here can be used with great success even outside of club environment. It just takes practice to fully develop your character, that's all.

As for discomfort when meeting new people and socializing in large groups, that's all relatively normal for an introvert. Try spending more time with yourself before going out to meet new people, and see if it helps. This usually does the trick for me, and it's actually quite logical, considering that introverts are drained by socializing.

Never forget - as an introvert, spending time with yourself and alone is a necessity, especially after having spent the entire evening around other people. You need it, it's simply the way our brains work.

Dom Filipe Wrote:

Another suggestion is to also try and look for introverted girls, in bookstores for example. From experience they understand you, and have generally better character and are more interesting than extroverted girls.

Not necessarily, human characters aren't one-dimensional.

[jamaicabound]

When your an interovert I think it's a balance. You should get out of your comfort zone and socialize more and do thins that make you uncomfortable. Even if you prefer to spend all your time alone force yourself to be somewhat social and honesly you'll probably wind up having a good time more times than not.

That said I think its silly to try to force yourself to be out at the bars socializing 7 days a week if it really doesn't make you happy why do somethin thats always a chore.

I actually do a lot of online dating and craislist hookups and tiner adn all that stuff. Its typically not long drawn out conversations but just short chats here and there and you can kind of pick when you response. I typically have chicks over at my place to watch a movie, for me to cook dinner, to chill and get high, etc. Thats more my style and trying to pick chicks up at teh club every friday and saturday night though I do go out regularly as well.

[CynicalContrarian]

Adrenaline. Going by the flag next to your name, you shouldn't have much trouble finding suitable MeetUp events in your area (if you're in a major city).

Whether it's hiking / bushwalking events, daytime café events, small groups in quieter venues (beer gardens etc.); finding an event
that's slower paced & quieter than some damned drug addled night-club is not difficult at all.
The benefit being, you can have enjoyable & viable group conversations which don't require you to be "on" the whole time.

Participate in the conversation where needed, then when the time is suitable, have a chat more directly to the cutie of the group & get the
phone no. at the end.

[worldtraveler3]

Actually to the contrary a lot of the game people I met in the western world are introverts.
Typical route is that they started reading the book the game, then checked some YouTube videos, started online game because it's easiness etc
So I think introverts actually gain a lot from game. On the other hand, a lot of my extrovert friends never even heard about game. Everybody understands hooking up of course

Without game, introverts would be completely taken over by women I would think, especially in the western world where women are more controlling.

[Rush87]

I wouldn't be surprised if I was the biggest introvert on these boards but I don't believe it's a limiting factor at all when it comes to women.

I'll give you my timeline over the past ten years for what it's worth:

Following high school I really couldn't have a conversation with a girl to save my life and went through a ridiculous dry spell. Instead of solving the solution I took up work on an oil rig which is awesome for any introvert. You basically chill with guys. Do you job and more or less keep to yourself. Anyway after a few years I figured it was time to call it quits. I returned to Australia and invested my earnings in a small gym franchise. I did this not for the business but mainly for that fact that it would force me to be an extrovert. I essentially handled sales etc etc.

I guess a bit like those PUA Books which say "Talk to 50 random girls a day etc" I was doing the same things every day at the gym. Chatting to new guests, handing out flyers and it's works. Within about 5 weeks you really do lose that uncomfortable feeling when talking to new people. You can confidently spit game with new women, control the conversation etc etc.

I did this for two years before selling the business. While the uncomfortable nature of talking to new people disappeared in that time, I never enjoyed it. From day one the meaningless conversation really messed with with mood and stressed me out.

This is was about 4 years ago. I've since realised that as a natural introvert, forcing an extroverted nature out of myself was possible but at the same time far from beneficial to my well being. I reverted back to being an introvert and my happiness increased but the women most definitely decreased.

It wasn't until I was on a trip overseas in Paris that I finally got my biggest life lesson as an introvert. I was on this Parisian Night Club [Which doubled as a boat in this canal]. It was playing this fucking awful trance music and I was about to call it quits when my friend offered me some E. I figured the music can't get any worse so why not.

About 60 minutes later my outlook transformed. I was holding eye contact for longer periods of time, I was completely un phased by silent periods and in my head I believed that I could hook up with any woman in my vicinity and as it turned out…

…I could. During this whole experience i was completely conscious of what was going on. I had the confidence of conversation from my sales background and now the knowledge that talking isn't completely necessary. You can just as easily navigate your way to a bang via reacting/saying what you want when you want.

It's taken some trial and error and a few years reading boards like this: But eventually I've found that it's highly possible to pick up as an introvert and subsequently: It's actually easy to maintain relationships as an introvert. By not wanting to call on the phone or chat for long periods of time you keep that aura of 'mystery' around.

The big benefit to being an introvert is that unlike an extrovert you don't have to force this. It's just natural. They will think there is some brooding mysterious guy inside when in reality [If you're anything like me] you're just being silent because you have nothing to say.

[RatInTheWoods]

Just lower your target SMV of the girls your gaming, and you can put in less effort and indulge your introvert ways. They will put up with it and still give you your slice.

[CynicalContrarian]

(11-05-2015 11:23 PM)Rush87 Wrote:  

The big benefit to being an introvert is that unlike an extrovert you don't have to force this. It's just natural. They will think there is some brooding mysterious guy inside when in reality [If you're anything like me] you're just being silent because you have nothing to say.

A hassle I encounter on occasion is that I actually have a great deal to say.
To paraphrase Henry Thomas Buckle :
"Small minds discuss people; average minds discuss events; great minds discuss ideas."

Of course as we know. Most gals are not "great minds".
Plus most men are only out to fulfil their base instincts & are not "deep-thinkers".

So I find these days that socialising is not so much a chore, having now become quite comfortable with it due to MeetUp.
It's just a chore conducting trivial small-talk as opposed to delving deeply into certain subject matter.
Without the other party getting to invested in their ego or to emotional about the instance.

I always enjoy meaningful intellectual discourse where the effort is to actually discuss a particular subject matter.
Not force one's opinions or try & justify one's ego (eg. vegan's of great & misguided fervour).

Such is the benefit of forum's such as this in the end.
I can put forth grander ideas which are in turn discussed based on merit &/or appreciated by other deep-thinkers.

[Rush87]

(11-06-2015 01:59 AM)CynicalContrarian Wrote:  

A hassle I encounter on occasion is that I actually have a great deal to say.
To paraphrase Henry Thomas Buckle :
"Small minds discuss people; average minds discuss events; great minds discuss ideas."

Of course as we know. Most gals are not "great minds".
Plus most men are only out to fulfil their base instincts & are not "deep-thinkers".

So I find these days that socialising is not so much a chore, having now become quite comfortable with it due to MeetUp.
It's just a chore conducting trivial small-talk as opposed to delving deeply into certain subject matter.
Without the other party getting to invested in their ego or to emotional about the instance.

I always enjoy meaningful intellectual discourse where the effort is to actually discuss a particular subject matter.
Not force one's opinions or try & justify one's ego (eg. vegan's of great & misguided fervour).

Such is the benefit of forum's such as this in the end.
I can put forth grander ideas which are in turn discussed based on merit &/or appreciated by other deep-thinkers.

Absolutely. Once you over come that initial hurdle of confidence in conversation [If one does happen to be an introvert] they usually have a lot to say.

I'm constantly thinking. In regards to having little to say to women - I guess it's just as you've said: "There really isn't a conversation worth having".

At the moment I'm seeing this Polish bird. Real nice girl. I do find though, if I attempt any form of conversation about 'ideas' it invariably turns into a conversation with myself while she nods along pretending to be interested lol.

[Anabasis to Desta]

I've been harboring the EXACT same sentiments as of late. I cant give you a concrete answer but I've asked myself these questions which have helped me process this dilemma better & urge you to do the same

1) Do you enjoy the company of women?

We're not talking sex or the validation that comes along with their attention. Do you genuinely enjoy bitches' company? I have quite a few female friends from high school and college. Good people. But I've never really enjoyed their company like more extroverted guys do. Their lack of substance & depth along with their inability to pay attention to anything that doesn't directly relate to them has always irked me which is the reason i believe you said its an "annoying inconvenience" to you.

Which brings me to ...

2) Are you buying into their frame?

I too enjoy going out to bars, getting drunk and socializing. Up until recently i used to go out 3 times a week & have become somewhat decent at pulling SNL's while thoroughly inebriated. But as an introvert, you will always going to be playing catch up to more extroverted guys. It's like trying to play soccer as a football player. Sure you can learn but u'll always be behind the guy who's been dribbling since he was 4.

Possible solution: Why not get good at something you're passionate about and have bitches be part of your world & approach you?

Chateau Heartiste: Every male endeavor (except video gaming) has female groupies.

Example: I was always a good swimmer but never competed or developed my talent. Senior year of college i joined the local Rec Center Swimming club. With a bit of practice, I ended up winning the county swimming championship. The aggressive approaches from the girls and even parents of the younger swimmers was INSANE. Never dreamed girls could by that forward.This one 38 y/o hot MARRIED Milf of a 9 year old swimmer slipped me her phone number & a note saying " You're hot. Call me & I'll make sure you won't forget me <3". Ended up banging her. Had i approached said milf in a bar setting trying to run cocky/funny game I most likely would have failed.

3) What is the "Player Lifestyle"?

You asked whether or not you're cut out for the player lifestyle. In the stereotypical sense ... I would say no. Not as an introvert. Or at least not without compromising your integrity and inherent nature.

Solution: Instead of aspiring to be the stereotypical extroverted ladies man like George Clooney, Trey Songz, Ray J, Hank Moody and the likes, why not try to be the a different type of player?

The introverted but cool player. Not the type who has a main bitch riding shot gun with 3 plates in the backseat going a 100 on the freeway in a convertible. Be the type who dates 3-4 QUALITY women a year you actually enjoy and have connections with beyond sex. Bringing them into your frame and making them share your life? Wouldn't that be more fulfilling. Getting girls without feeling like you're playing a role all the time.

Redefine what a Player and a Player lifestyle is.

Hope this helps.

[worldtraveler3]

Since you mentioned lack of 'deep meaning' when talking to extroverted people.
I think you could also have a 'connection' with extroverted people and girls. Its just that these extroverted girls are rarer than the 'bubbly' types, and people obviously like to generalise extroverted= shallow, lack of meaning etc.

Not everyone is a great thinker of course, and i think game is actually not much of a 'deep thinking' exercise. Some aspects of game does relate to human philosophies, etc, but mostly they are played out in the field.