[Khan]

I just had I thought I wanted to share, and get advice and feedback from more experienced guys. It's about activities you do before dates, or more specifically, about getting yourself into a talkative, social state before a date. Sorry if this has been discussed before, I couldn't find anything by searching the forum.

Roosh talks about this in Bang, and I found similar advice in a book written by a Croatian game blogger. Basically, before a date you should do stuff like talking to friends/coworkers, calling someone on the phone, initiating conversations, being extroverted etc. This should get you into a talkative mode and improve your actual game on the date. If you do the opposite and spend the entire day alone, you'll have trouble spitting out good game. This makes perfect sense in general.

However, on my last two dates I've noticed that spending the entire afternoon before the date alone, finishing stuff for work and talking virtually to no one, had no bad effect on my date performance in this area. I managed to be talkative and chatty throughout both dates, and led the conversation smoothly and without dead ends. The first girl even complimented me by saying I'm really talkative and outgoing. Since I'm an introvert, this came as a surprise to me.

Now, I'm thinking about the following: since we introverts are drained by socializing, and 'charged' by spending time alone, wouldn't it make sense that if an introvert spends the pre-date afternoon by talking to people and socializing, that he'll be exhausted by the time the date begins? I know for sure I get exhausted by extensive socializing, and I always need some time alone afterwards to recharge.

This guy gives some interesting insight on the matter, the bit where he talks about developing your extroverted side begins at 1:11:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VnZE8bNbLZU

What are your thoughts on this?

[MrFish]

As it the case in most situations, it's not as black and white as you seem to assume. Being an introvert doesn't mean what works for other introverts will work for you. If you can be social and chatty after a day of solitude then all the more power to you!

I do need those warm ups to get in a more social and chatty mood. I can manage without, but I'm a lot better with them. I also don't feel fatigued after social interactions, they actually give me energy. I just have hard time initiating them.

[evilbuttmunch]

I am also an introvert and I do this myself. However, my main problem is that once I get anxiety, I'm mentally sapped, so I do need to physically recharge. I usually just have a fifteen minute conversation with my brother or a friend, not a two hour hangout with friends to prep myself for a date. And I never talk about the date or the girl with that person. It just sets up weird thoughts and expectations in your head. I remember a few dates ago I was actually chatting up the girl at the counter beforehand since I usually show up to dates early to get comfortable in the space. It was much better than chatting with a close friend since speaking with close friends you already have a rapport and you don't share that with strangers.

I think what's important, is being able to be comfortable and fluid, and to lower anxiety so you can remember routines when they become available in normal conversation. It all comes down to what works for you, since there's so many versions of game. That's the principle of Roosh program, it's reading about game, getting experience, writing detailed notes, and culling what did and didn't work. For example, Roosh had a section in Daybang about how you can practice elderly talk in a mirror at home, about anything you have deep knowledge of really, or just bullshitting even. I used to struggle with anxiety and knowing what to say and how to say it, and the idea of practicing it cold to a stranger was terrifying, so my intermediate solution was to start practicing conversations in the car on the way to and from work, about what I was interested in. Say you just went to a concert the night before and you think it'll interest the girl. Rather than go in cold with the idea of talking about the concert, practice talking about it by speaking it aloud to yourself. Do this a few times, so you don't feel like you're having to remember a script. You can touch on the venue, the crowd, how it made you feel, what you like about the band, etc. Or if there's something unique about one of your hobbies, just practice talking about it like you're doing a presentation. I'm good at portrait art, so I can talk about it from a lot of different angles. It's important to do it repeatedly so you're fluid and you can jump in and out of the conversation, since you'll get interrupted by questions or have to tailor your discussion to the interest level and intelligence of the girl. Maybe she's artistic herself and interested in the technical aspects, or maybe she just likes that I actually have a passion and wants to know how it grew in me and where I'm taking it.

I once had a girl on my sofa and I wanted to make a move but she was in a really awkward seating position. I felt so awkward about it that I didn't do anything. The next day I motherfucking sat on that sofa, pretended she was there, and just mimed what I would have done if she was there. It sounds ridiculous and I was embarrassed that I was doing it, but next time I'm feeling awkward or asocial I'll still be able to actually perform because I have a strong context for what a good conversation on the topic sounds like, or what a fluid move looks like.

[XXL]

(10-25-2015 09:04 AM)Khan Wrote:  

However, on my last two dates I've noticed that spending the entire afternoon before the date alone, finishing stuff for work and talking virtually to no one, had no bad effect on my date performance in this area. I managed to be talkative and chatty throughout both dates, and led the conversation smoothly and without dead ends. The first girl even complimented me by saying I'm really talkative and outgoing. Since I'm an introvert, this came as a surprise to me.

If that works for you, great, stick to that.

It doesn't matter what anyone says or advices. Those are just tips. Listen to yourself man. Audit yourself recognize your strengths and bet on that. You know best what's best for you. And never buy into this myth that need to be extroverted to be good with girls.

[Khan]

(10-26-2015 06:17 AM)XXL Wrote:  

And never buy into this myth that need to be extroverted to be good with girls.

This. When I began to study game, that's one of the first things I had to get out of my mind. Only with life experience and some advice from the side did I start to realize that introversion by itself is not a character flaw.

We all have our strengths and weaknesses, and success in any field can only be achieved by maximizing your strengths, not worrying about your weaknesses.

[robreke]

I have pics on my phone of a lot of girls I've banged in the past. Sometimes, I'll swipe through them on my phone before the date shows up.

It's kind of a confidence boost.

Looking at them I'm in essence saying/thinking to myself; 'hey, look at all these girls you successfully gamed on the first date and banged in the recent past. you know you have the ability to do it. this girl I'm meeting today is no more special than these others. you charming man you.'