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Complete lack of emotional investment
#1

Complete lack of emotional investment

Actual conversation in my office this morning:

"Hank, that new girl you're seeing is SO HOT! Everyone was eyeing her up last night."
"I know."
"You gonna lock that up? Move her in? Get serious? You're way out of your league. And she's into you, man."
"Meh, I don't know. Let's talk about business."
"Dude, you're insane!"

I've written about this in the past so I won't bore you all with details, but a few years ago I came down with an epic case of Oneitis, which resulted in disaster. It lead me to these forums, game, the "manosphere", etc. That was pretty much the best thing ever.

However, ever since slaying through enough waitresses, bartenders, singers, strippers, nurses, teachers, and smuts generally, I have not been able to make any sort of emotional investment into a woman whatsoever. No matter how hot, no matter how good the sex, no matter how loyal and caring she is. It feels like all women are the same, replaceable overgrown children, and the most they can ever hope to contribute to a relationship is drama free sex. Ever since the Oneitis a few years ago, I have legitimately not been able to muster up any sort of emotional attachment to any of the females I've banged.

Does anyone else have this issue?

It's not necessarily a bad thing, because it's resulted in even more bangs. But part of me wonders if that is what the red pill tastes like.
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#2

Complete lack of emotional investment

Most of us here have up those same walls. It doesn't have anything to do with a pill.

Most men have been hurt so badly by someone they love, the spend a good portion of their lives refusing to commit so it doesn't happen again. The other portion of men simply know that in 5 years, that super model will look like just another woman and they will eventually become bored with them and fantasize about other women they saw at the bus station or subway.

Then, there are some men who can actually settle down with one woman and spend their whole life being happy and grateful -- like most of great-grandparents. I wouldn't call them blue-pill. Even the bible says, "he that increaseth in knowledge, increaseth in sorrow." In a way they're lucky, they lived their whole life loving one woman and for them, that was enough. This road is going to eventually become dark and lonely. Opening sets, and creating rapport will revert to starring at outside a coffee shop window watching the snow fall and all families walk by, and then the words of Steinbeck will come to mind, "“And now that you don't have to be perfect, you can just be good.” So we'll settle down and start a family, try to do what's right, and maybe coach a little league team.

And then, the others, who can't walk that path or refuse to, will get shot in some dark alley chasing pussy in South America, and maybe, just maybe, someone will lower us in the ground with the guitar solo of "November Rain" blaring in the wind... Fuck it.
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#3

Complete lack of emotional investment

Many people may handle it differently, and a lot of it may stem from WHY you took the Red Pill to begin with and what stage your at in your self-discovery.

I myself have noticed I have difficulty forming relationships on my terms. In that I mean I now hate the feeling of getting attached to a girl romantically. I have banged plenty of girls with no emotion or attachment involved, but now and then a girl comes along who I catch feelings for and I wish I could A: not catch feelings for her and/or B: have full control over those feelings and b able to throttle them as I see fit.

Example: Right now I've been seeing a girl for the past few weeks who is very good looking (in the top 3 looks-wise of girls I've banged) and she is sweet and nice - but I see myself catching a bit of oneitis for her and failing some shittests just to garner favor and keep her around. I see myself letting her get the upper hand but for some reason have trouble stopping myself from doing that and its frustrating.
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#4

Complete lack of emotional investment

Broke some ground in China and hit up a chick I'm quite pleased with, but I, too, find it hard to really invest emotionally in her. She's a good chick and hits many of the boxes I have but I think I might be battle-hardened after almost two years in the game.

I will be checking my PMs weekly, so you can catch me there. I will not be posting.
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#5

Complete lack of emotional investment

Goddamn Linux that was beautiful.

It's been over 4 years since I had the balls to dump my last ex.

With my current LTR I always get that line about locking her down and wifing her up because she's so hot.

I always flip that script and make it about how I'm the fucking catch.

I remember last week a girl said she was so pretty in front of all these dudes and I said, "she's alright" with a big smirk. The dudes were shocked and laughed that I said that.

Linux is right, many of us have been so badly hurt that we refuse to commit or invest emotionally in women.

I think this is the missing link, the link that we can only fix on our own (by choice).

I used to be jaded about love and LTR's (I guess never got burned super bad, but indeed it was bad). I discovered game, especially inner game, which changed my life, and my views on women.

I've learned to enjoy women, I love being around women, but I'm not in love with women.

With my LTR I guess you can call it "love" I honestly just enjoy her company and being around her. She compliments my life which makes things great.

I supposed it's love in a way since I enjoy her and she adores me.

I may or may not have children, but I sure don't want to get married with the state of things.

I'm not stupid, I'm very game aware and "red pill" I know how women can be, I'm vocal about it as well, my LTR knows I don't deal with BS and I'll be gone in flash.

You can't stop gaming and that's part of the beauty of it, you're always learning and always getting better.

But I get it sometimes it's hard to trust and love/enjoy a women, especially if you've been burned.
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#6

Complete lack of emotional investment

Quote: (10-20-2015 10:55 AM)LINUX Wrote:  

Most of us here have up those same walls. It doesn't have anything to do with a pill.

Most men have been hurt so badly by someone they love, the spend a good portion of their lives refusing to commit so it doesn't happen again. The other portion of men simply know that in 5 years, that super model will look like just another woman and they will eventually become bored with them and fantasize about other women they saw at the bus station or subway.

Then, there are some men who can actually settle down with one woman and spend their whole life being happy and grateful -- like most of great-grandparents. I wouldn't call them blue-pill. Even the bible says, "he that increaseth in knowledge, increaseth in sorrow." In a way they're lucky, they lived their whole life loving one woman and for them, that was enough. This road is going to eventually become dark and lonely. Opening sets, and creating rapport will revert to starring at outside a coffee shop window watching the snow fall and all families walk by, and then the words of Steinbeck will come to mind, "“And now that you don't have to be perfect, you can just be good.” So we'll settle down and start a family, try to do what's right, and maybe coach a little league team.

And then, the others, who can't walk that path or refuse to, will get shot in some dark alley chasing pussy in South America, and maybe, just maybe, someone will lower us in the ground with the guitar solo of "November Rain" blaring in the wind... Fuck it.

Excellent post, brother.
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#7

Complete lack of emotional investment

Quote: (10-20-2015 10:26 AM)HankMoody Wrote:  

Actual conversation in my office this morning:

"Hank, that new girl you're seeing is SO HOT! Everyone was eyeing her up last night."
"I know."
"You gonna lock that up? Move her in? Get serious? You're way out of your league. And she's into you, man."
"Meh, I don't know. Let's talk about business."
"Dude, you're insane!"

I've written about this in the past so I won't bore you all with details, but a few years ago I came down with an epic case of Oneitis, which resulted in disaster. It lead me to these forums, game, the "manosphere", etc. That was pretty much the best thing ever.

However, ever since slaying through enough waitresses, bartenders, singers, strippers, nurses, teachers, and smuts generally, I have not been able to make any sort of emotional investment into a woman whatsoever. No matter how hot, no matter how good the sex, no matter how loyal and caring she is. It feels like all women are the same, replaceable overgrown children, and the most they can ever hope to contribute to a relationship is drama free sex. Ever since the Oneitis a few years ago, I have legitimately not been able to muster up any sort of emotional attachment to any of the females I've banged.

Does anyone else have this issue?

It's not necessarily a bad thing, because it's resulted in even more bangs. But part of me wonders if that is what the red pill tastes like.

The funny thing is trying to relate to guys who have actual strong feelings for women. My roommate is gaga over some girl who is using him as a time ho / cuddle-buddy, but really the situation is near-cuckolding; they talk, kiss, and cuddle all day, skype at night, but she doesn't let him have sex with her. Friday and Saturday nights she goes out and bones pizza guys, frat guys... basically any guy in a bro tank. He knows about them and still hangs out with her 10 hours a day, gives her rides, etc.

I tell him, "She's just some ho, just get rid of her and get a hobby." He says, yeah you're right. Then continues as usual.

Anyway. I too have this tendency to be removed, but it's not just with women, it's with everything.

"What, on a lower level, had led to the wildest conflicts and to panicky outbursts of emotion, viewed from the higher level of the personality, now seemed like a storm in the valley seen from a high mountain-top. This does not mean that the thunderstorm is robbed of its reality, but instead of being in it, one is now above it. However, since we are both valley and mountain with respect to the psyche, it might seem a vain illusion to feel oneself beyond what is human. One certainly does feel the affect and is shaken and tormented by it, yet at the same time one is aware of a higher consciousness, which prevents one from becoming identical with the affect, a consciousness which takes the affect objectively."
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#8

Complete lack of emotional investment

Quote: (10-20-2015 10:55 AM)LINUX Wrote:  

Most of us here have up those same walls. It doesn't have anything to do with a pill.

Most men have been hurt so badly by someone they love, the spend a good portion of their lives refusing to commit so it doesn't happen again. The other portion of men simply know that in 5 years, that super model will look like just another woman and they will eventually become bored with them and fantasize about other women they saw at the bus station or subway.

Then, there are some men who can actually settle down with one woman and spend their whole life being happy and grateful -- like most of great-grandparents. I wouldn't call them blue-pill. Even the bible says, "he that increaseth in knowledge, increaseth in sorrow." In a way they're lucky, they lived their whole life loving one woman and for them, that was enough. This road is going to eventually become dark and lonely. Opening sets, and creating rapport will revert to starring at outside a coffee shop window watching the snow fall and all families walk by, and then the words of Steinbeck will come to mind, "“And now that you don't have to be perfect, you can just be good.” So we'll settle down and start a family, try to do what's right, and maybe coach a little league team.

And then, the others, who can't walk that path or refuse to, will get shot in some dark alley chasing pussy in South America, and maybe, just maybe, someone will lower us in the ground with the guitar solo of "November Rain" blaring in the wind... Fuck it.

Quote: (10-20-2015 03:41 PM)XII Wrote:  

Quote: (10-20-2015 10:26 AM)HankMoody Wrote:  

Actual conversation in my office this morning:

"Hank, that new girl you're seeing is SO HOT! Everyone was eyeing her up last night."
"I know."
"You gonna lock that up? Move her in? Get serious? You're way out of your league. And she's into you, man."
"Meh, I don't know. Let's talk about business."
"Dude, you're insane!"

I've written about this in the past so I won't bore you all with details, but a few years ago I came down with an epic case of Oneitis, which resulted in disaster. It lead me to these forums, game, the "manosphere", etc. That was pretty much the best thing ever.

However, ever since slaying through enough waitresses, bartenders, singers, strippers, nurses, teachers, and smuts generally, I have not been able to make any sort of emotional investment into a woman whatsoever. No matter how hot, no matter how good the sex, no matter how loyal and caring she is. It feels like all women are the same, replaceable overgrown children, and the most they can ever hope to contribute to a relationship is drama free sex. Ever since the Oneitis a few years ago, I have legitimately not been able to muster up any sort of emotional attachment to any of the females I've banged.

Does anyone else have this issue?

It's not necessarily a bad thing, because it's resulted in even more bangs. But part of me wonders if that is what the red pill tastes like.

The funny thing is trying to relate to guys who have actual strong feelings for women. My roommate is gaga over some girl who is using him as a time ho / cuddle-buddy, but really the situation is near-cuckolding; they talk, kiss, and cuddle all day, skype at night, but she doesn't let him have sex with her. Friday and Saturday nights she goes out and bones pizza guys, frat guys... basically any guy in a bro tank. He knows about them and still hangs out with her 10 hours a day, gives her rides, etc.

I tell him, "She's just some ho, just get rid of her and get a hobby." He says, yeah you're right. Then continues as usual.

Anyway. I too have this tendency to be removed, but it's not just with women, it's with everything.

"What, on a lower level, had led to the wildest conflicts and to panicky outbursts of emotion, viewed from the higher level of the personality, now seemed like a storm in the valley seen from a high mountain-top. This does not mean that the thunderstorm is robbed of its reality, but instead of being in it, one is now above it. However, since we are both valley and mountain with respect to the psyche, it might seem a vain illusion to feel oneself beyond what is human. One certainly does feel the affect and is shaken and tormented by it, yet at the same time one is aware of a higher consciousness, which prevents one from becoming identical with the affect, a consciousness which takes the affect objectively."

Without getting into detail, that was my relationship with the former Oneitis, except we boned sometimes. Basically talking, texting, and hanging out all hours of the day while she boned a bunch of other dudes (that I didn't know about, though suspected). Sex happened but not all that frequently.

Sex with current girl is at the drop of a dime, which is how it's been with pretty much everyone I've dated since.
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#9

Complete lack of emotional investment

It's early days for me but i think I too have the same thing. I have only ever had this one 15 year relationship my entire life, so when I found stuff out and lost my shit, I think I basically got my heart broken for the first time (at age 35!)

In the 7 months since, which have been emotionally some of the toughest in my adult life, I have been unable to shed a single tear, even when I tried to, thinking it may be good for me.
I described it to someone as literally feeling locked up inside.

This may sound normal to some people but I have always been a very emotional person, even in my wilder days of fighting a lot and anger, I would also cry easily at anything sad.

But now, my emotional level is like a flat line, it hardly raises anymore, at least regarding my relationship.

When I still have sex with my wife now, I sometimes try to recreate those warm loving feelings I used to get before this, and make love to her, but there is nothing, only hard animalistic fucking (That she ironically seems to enjoy more than ever)

I too think it can be a strength, i see it as an emotional hardening (like temperd steel or scar tissue) that comes from exposure to trauma. It's in the same vein as those people you see in war torn countries, that don't seem upset enough when discussing their dead children or loved ones, but it's because they have lived a different reality and level of exposure to death and loss than most of us here, so they are hardened to and more accepting of it.

The naive blue pill fairy tale love is a fantasy bubble the same as a safe quiet life behind a white picket fence.

Reality is cold, but people can adapt over time. Ignorance is only bliss until it's not.
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#10

Complete lack of emotional investment

Quote: (10-20-2015 04:18 PM)SuperBock Wrote:  

It's early days for me but i think I too have the same thing. I have only ever had this one 15 year relationship my entire life, so when I found stuff out and lost my shit, I think I basically got my heart broken for the first time (at age 35!)

In the 7 months since, which have been emotionally some of the toughest in my adult life, I have been unable to shed a single tear, even when I tried to, thinking it may be good for me.
I described it to someone as literally feeling locked up inside.

This may sound normal to some people but I have always been a very emotional person, even in my wilder days of fighting a lot and anger, I would also cry easily at anything sad.

But now, my emotional level is like a flat line, it hardly raises anymore, at least regarding my relationship.

Emotional blunting can be one of the many signs of depression. I found myself able to cry more easily when I came to third world Asia where people have real problems and getting your heart broken is mild compared to the chronic illness and early death most people suffer.

In particular there was one very short girl who I was in contact with who explained to me that she didn't like going outside because people would stare at her. "I'm like a dwarf."
I asked her if she was able to have sex, if she wanted to have children.
She said "Yes, if someone will accept me."

That broke me up, and still does. She doesn't want Chris Hemsworth.
Just someone that will accept her.
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#11

Complete lack of emotional investment

Emotional investment in a woman is wasted
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#12

Complete lack of emotional investment

excellent post
In my case, I had a terrible experience with oneitis 11 years. A cute girl and me liked each other, but my blue pill and omega behavior ruined my chances with her. I did not have sex with her, much less the desired relationship I wanted. I had a severe depression because of it.

Fortunately, the book "The Game" by Neil Strauss (First generation game) opened my eyes to a world of infinite possibilities and this was the beginning of my transformation as a man.

Seeing this in hindsight, this bad experience was the beginning of my life change. In this improvement route I discovered Roosh's Blog "DC Bachelor", this forum and other valuable resources like Roissy/heartiste Blog.

Nowadays, when I see a hot girl I'm extremely unimpressed by her physical appearance (Don't get me wrong: I like girls, but I fortunately lost the ability to do emotional investments on them or to get impressed by their presence).

I have a deep appreciation for this forum, because I found many responses to many questions about game, women and specially life.
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#13

Complete lack of emotional investment

Heh.
Started reading this thread when the Chimaira song 'Black Heart' entered the playlist.

[Image: popcorn3.gif]
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#14

Complete lack of emotional investment

Quote: (10-20-2015 10:55 AM)LINUX Wrote:  

Most of us here have up those same walls. It doesn't have anything to do with a pill.

Most men have been hurt so badly by someone they love, the spend a good portion of their lives refusing to commit so it doesn't happen again. The other portion of men simply know that in 5 years, that super model will look like just another woman and they will eventually become bored with them and fantasize about other women they saw at the bus station or subway.

Then, there are some men who can actually settle down with one woman and spend their whole life being happy and grateful -- like most of great-grandparents. I wouldn't call them blue-pill. Even the bible says, "he that increaseth in knowledge, increaseth in sorrow." In a way they're lucky, they lived their whole life loving one woman and for them, that was enough. This road is going to eventually become dark and lonely. Opening sets, and creating rapport will revert to starring at outside a coffee shop window watching the snow fall and all families walk by, and then the words of Steinbeck will come to mind, "“And now that you don't have to be perfect, you can just be good.” So we'll settle down and start a family, try to do what's right, and maybe coach a little league team.

And then, the others, who can't walk that path or refuse to, will get shot in some dark alley chasing pussy in South America, and maybe, just maybe, someone will lower us in the ground with the guitar solo of "November Rain" blaring in the wind... Fuck it.

This was so beautiful.
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#15

Complete lack of emotional investment

Quote: (10-20-2015 10:55 AM)LINUX Wrote:  

Most of us here have up those same walls. It doesn't have anything to do with a pill.

Most men have been hurt so badly by someone they love, the spend a good portion of their lives refusing to commit so it doesn't happen again. The other portion of men simply know that in 5 years, that super model will look like just another woman and they will eventually become bored with them and fantasize about other women they saw at the bus station or subway.

Then, there are some men who can actually settle down with one woman and spend their whole life being happy and grateful -- like most of great-grandparents. I wouldn't call them blue-pill. Even the bible says, "he that increaseth in knowledge, increaseth in sorrow." In a way they're lucky, they lived their whole life loving one woman and for them, that was enough. This road is going to eventually become dark and lonely. Opening sets, and creating rapport will revert to starring at outside a coffee shop window watching the snow fall and all families walk by, and then the words of Steinbeck will come to mind, "“And now that you don't have to be perfect, you can just be good.” So we'll settle down and start a family, try to do what's right, and maybe coach a little league team.

And then, the others, who can't walk that path or refuse to, will get shot in some dark alley chasing pussy in South America, and maybe, just maybe, someone will lower us in the ground with the guitar solo of "November Rain" blaring in the wind... Fuck it.

All roads potentially become dark and lonely though. Having a life partner, being there in their last moments only to live out your last years alone and in despair isn't all that rosier than at least being used to being alone.
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#16

Complete lack of emotional investment

Quote: (10-20-2015 10:26 AM)HankMoody Wrote:  

No matter how hot, no matter how good the sex, no matter how loyal and caring she is. It feels like all women are the same, replaceable overgrown children, and the most they can ever hope to contribute to a relationship is drama free sex.

I am exactly in the same place as you are. I used to be the ultimate poster boy for nice guy, beta, disney fantasy, Ross and Rachel bullshit and when I met my ex wife about 12 years ago I thought I had won the lottery. At the time she was one of the hottest women I had ever laid eyes on in person and I used that as proof that nice guys really don't finish last.

Well fast forward several years later and due to my own horribly beta no leadership behavior I ended up in a sexless marriage with an angry, bitter wife who also had a whole host of problems and baggage that I chose to ignore in the early dating phase.

Now after dating hundreds of women in the last 4+ years all mystery, mystic and magic of any woman has long since vanished. I know now that statistically speaking all relationships are doomed to fail eventually. I will never put myself in a position where I lose my power to a woman ever again. And unfortunately marriage or LTR's by and large lead to just that scenario.
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#17

Complete lack of emotional investment

I have the opposite problem, I'm not super quick to cuff a chick but I'm kind of a homebody or at the very least not really into clubs and shit so I'd much rather chillout at home with my dogs and smoke some weed or take my boat out or go for a motorcycle ride.

If I hookup with a hot chick and the sex is good and she's down to do shit I wanna do and isn't always trying to drag me out with her friends or to a bar I get kind of comfortable and shack up for a minute.

My problem however is that I get sick of chicks way too quick. Within a couple months I get sick of fucking the same chick
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#18

Complete lack of emotional investment

Here's the thing, there's nothing wrong with investing some time and emotion in a woman that fits your profile, lifestyle, is feminine, and happens to be looks and quality.

Emotions are human, they shouldn't be shunned (just like trusting your gut). We should embrace it - of course with a healthy dose of logic and checks.

The problem is getting emotionally overly invested in a woman. (It shows a scarcity mentality)

My reasoning behind this is, a man might not remind himself women are replaceable. Or are so emotionally invested they're blinded by "love".

Jamaica has it right, if you get sick of the same chick, then end it.

Nothing wrong with mini-ltr's - but some men have been burned so bad they don't ever risk it again.

I don't blame them for that.
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#19

Complete lack of emotional investment

Quote: (10-22-2015 03:51 PM)jamaicabound Wrote:  

I have the opposite problem, I'm not super quick to cuff a chick but I'm kind of a homebody or at the very least not really into clubs and shit so I'd much rather chillout at home with my dogs and smoke some weed or take my boat out or go for a motorcycle ride.

If I hookup with a hot chick and the sex is good and she's down to do shit I wanna do and isn't always trying to drag me out with her friends or to a bar I get kind of comfortable and shack up for a minute.

My problem however is that I get sick of chicks way too quick. Within a couple months I get sick of fucking the same chick

I'm right there with you man. I'm an introvert and morning person by nature so I have the double whammy of hating loud bars and clubs since they both deplete my energy and I'm usually ready for bed by the time things get going. Like you said a lot of women love going out clubbing with their girlfriends which is fine but it's just not my scene.

I had a plate that I went out with off and on for about a year who didn't drink and hated clubs even though she's 27 years old. Unfortunately she didn't have any real passions or goals in her life and while the sex was some of the best I've ever had going out with her became boring and lost all appeal to me.
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#20

Complete lack of emotional investment

Im 26 now and the reason I got into the whole red pill thing was to rid myself of beta tendencies and how to game women, the thing that really took it to a new level was having oneietis with a girl who was stringing me along.

Now I am not completly red pill yet and have a lot to learn but right now my attitude towards women is not very serious, I find most of them not very intelligent, overly emotional, unable to make up their mind, attention seekers and a lot of sluts out their, so I treat them as such.

I dont ever want to get married but I wonder if I could ever find a girl to start a family with, I still have that thing were It seems like it would be nice to have a woman to have kids with but my idea of what would make a great wife seems incredibly rare these days (at least here in America) so I may have to look elsewhrere, who the hell knows where life will take me, I have no given up on love but I am much more cautious and aware of things back when I was a complete beta.

I admit my mind is only on pussy for now but perhaps a woman might come along one day that will change things and make me reconsider, I will say this though; it wont be just because she has a pussy and a pretty face.
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#21

Complete lack of emotional investment

LINUX, I am both awed and amused -- but even more awed than amused -- by the menu of choices that your post presents. So it's either grandpappy's picket fence and little league coaching, or a road that inevitably becomes "dark and lonely", ending up in that South American dark alley and crowned by the plaintive and glorious strains of November Rain? Those are the choices, eh? WOW! I don't know whether to laugh or cry or both. Damn.

I am truly and continuously amazed at the endless love and hunger that men in general, and posters on the RVF in particular, have for what me and my friends privately call the "McNaulty moment" named after the onetime baseball relief pitcher Dan Naulty (more about him in a moment). This is a moment that ideally occurs in the back of a limo (LOL) when the stench of Roederer Cristal champagne fills the air-conditioned air, blended with the perfume of the "9" (LOL) who you know will be sucking you off in the hotel suite a little later. You are supposed to look around you, and be suddenly shot through with darkness, with a realization of the utter "meaninglessness", "emptiness" and "loneliness" of it all; and the great question, the McNaulty question escapes your lips: is this all there is? This is what I've worked for, and now that I have it, that's all? This is it?

Dan Naulty who hails from the height of baseball's (already legendary to my mind) PED era described a moment very much like this in a legendary New York Daily News article from 2006 that I don't care to look up now, but you can easily find online. But you can also find a good reference to the same eternal and apparently endlessly hungered for sentiment in the great restaurant scene in Scarface where Pacino demands to know, "Is that really all there is to life? Eating... drinking... fucking... sucking... is that all there is??" (quoted from memory). To read the RVF on any day -- and to listen to men talk generally, especially a few drinks in -- all roads lead, not to Rome, but to the sacred McNaulty moment in all its glory. Either that or the picket fence, and perhaps both; the choice is yours, buddy.

But what if (and here I am touching on the one true taboo, the great unmentionable and unimaginable possibility) -- what if the road never gets dark and lonely? Crazy, I know, but hey, we can talk about all kinds of fucked up shit, so why not that? What if you never arrive at the South American dark alley, what if it's never time for November Rain? What if you die in ripe old age, a happy lecher, either surrounded by a much younger wife and a brood of youngsters that you preside over with benign patriarchal sternness and affection, or alone, as the case may be? What if you die in your codger's sleep after having shot a last, long, Cialis-charmed turtle load into the young maid's pink wet mouth? What if you actually loved the world, loved life as it is, and the sacred question of "is that all there is" never occurred to you at all except as a subject of fascination, awe, and ultimately bemused and somewhat helpless sympathy?

What if you could have your cake and eat it too, and still have slices left over for your hangdog buds from the McNaulty clan? That's what I ask myself, and I feel like I can almost taste that nasty and delicious lemon poundcake. I wish I could send out more invitations for the feast, but I'm doing the best I can; the guests won't always come to sit at the table, but dessert is always served.

same old shit, sixes and sevens Shaft...
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#22

Complete lack of emotional investment

Great post! A lot of it has to do with mentality, are you a pessimist or an optimist? I guess it depends on your upbringing and what situations you go through in life, regardless if you are always down and out then you will BE down and out, I really belive that if you change your outlook everything else will follow, you CHOOSE to be happy or sad, no one else.

So if you went through all the fucking, sucking, cars and money and feel down because "thas all there is" that is on you, lets say we have 80 years to live, you know how much shit there is to do and learn in this world? You would never have enough time, just accept that there isnt supposed to be some "reason" for living, there isnt supposed to be some grand finale, this just are and things just end.

Why go through life thinking and worrying aboyt things? What do you do when you are bored, you either complain about being bored or you find something to do, there is ALWAYS something to do, we are talking about one aspect of our lives here, women and they can get old pretty quickly.

Its all about balance as well, too much of anything will make you tired and sick of it, again anything, try to balance fucking women with whatever work you like to do, try to balance your hobbies with other areas of interest, take breaks if needed, point is dont overdue it. I think sometimes we make things too complicated and put extra stress on ourselves for no reason, we also tend to think that there has to be a deeper meaning to everything, why? Why cant things just be simple, why cant things be just what they are? No more no less.

Im kinda ranting here but I dunno sometimes we over complicate things, we all do this, just live and do what makes you happy, always have at least some sort of goal to wake you up in the morning, dont be afraid to fail, dont be afraid to BE afraid, we are all human.
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#23

Complete lack of emotional investment

Quote: (10-20-2015 10:26 AM)HankMoody Wrote:  

Does anyone else have this issue?

It's not necessarily a bad thing, because it's resulted in even more bangs. But part of me wonders if that is what the red pill tastes like.

I think I'm in more or less the same situation but it's a catch 22.

The more you care the less she does. The less you care the more she does. Someone should make a graph because it's honestly the cruelest part of game.

The obvious response is: If you have an emotional investment, just make it seem like you don't. My biggest red pill truth was that this is very hard if not near on impossible to do.

Once you have any sort of emotional investment there are small, unconscious intangibles that creep into your game. You will never identify them. Without a complete lack of emotional investment you subconsciously game a girl better than you could ever consciously do. It's just one of the downfalls of being red pill. It's biology.
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#24

Complete lack of emotional investment

You have complete lack of emotional investment because you see the truth now:

Majority of women (especially those in the anglosphere) are simply not worth the investment.

When you were blue pill and blind, most women seemed to be worthy of your investment.

You are just experiencing the whiplash effects of going from one extreme to the other. It’s normal. You will learn to connect with women again; just this time it will be from a healthy red pill frame as oppose to the destructive blue pill frame. This should bring comfort and peace of mind; knowing you are not blind like many men in the world.

Personally, I think the only woman worth emotionally investing in are potential mother of your children candidates or those that bring significant value to your life. These types of women are rare. The majority of women will be a net negative in the end.

It’s healthy to NOT be emotionally invested in women like this. They should be grateful for a non-exclusive mini-relationship – this is the attitude to have.
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#25

Complete lack of emotional investment

Quote: (10-22-2015 08:25 PM)Rush87 Wrote:  

I think I'm in more or less the same situation but it's a catch 22.

The more you care the less she does. The less you care the more she does. Someone should make a graph because it's honestly the cruelest part of game.

Yep.
Got to love that catch-22.

I recently told a girl that "I'm the captain of my own ship".
I intend to live a grand, pro-active, adventurous life.
As such, having someone join me on that pro-active journey would be beneficial.
(emphasis join).

I didn't beg & plead.
I didn't ask her to join me (as in from a supplicants position).

Yet, her prior behaviour indicates either a measure of apprehension or a lack of interest due to the specifics of our
interaction (sort of work based).

So if she does respond that she 'can't' get together cause of whatever.
I'll merely respond that as the captain of my own ship,
if I sail into cold waters where the fish aren't biting.
All I have to do is redirect course to warm waters where the fish do bite, cause there's always plenty of fish in the sea.

On one hand I'm putting myself 'out there' & letting the chips fall where they may cause I deem this girl to be a bit
more worthwhile than most.

Yet at the end of the day, as Rollo would say. If there's no true passion / desire; it's more a fools errand.
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