[Talekhine]

Recently I was in the process of trying to work through LMR with a girl and it seemed like nothing I was doing was turning her on. This has happened a couple times to me in the past. It's pretty much always in a situation where a girl is putting up some (token) resistance, and I'm attempting to get her in the mood via making out, groping, rubbing her pussy over her clothes, fingering her, etc. When this happens and I'm fingering such a girl, she'll get a little bit wet but still be fairly dry, and then it seems like the longer I finger her when she's dry, the more awkward it becomes and the less turned on she gets because we're both aware that she's not getting turned on. In these situations the girl is normally "letting things happen" to her, but not actively participating (not actively grinding into me or running her hands over me or anything).

I'm fairly experienced (~50 notches) and the vast majority of times I'm with a girl things go well. However sometimes the above happens, and I'd like to get better at dealing with it.

My take on it is that when this happens it stems from a failure of game leading up to that point. If a girl is attracted to you from the way you've been gaming her, she'll naturally be turned on when you start escalating. So the problem isn't really with physical technique for turning a girl on.

The other thing I'm assuming is that I need to amp up the dominance. When the above stuff happens, I'm generally escalating pretty slowly because I'm trying to build up tension. However slow escalation can also come off as lack of initiative / lack of dominance.

Third, I think I continue too long with "slow escalation" when it's not working well. If I'm fingering a girl for 30 seconds and she's not clearly getting a lot wetter, then I should probably do something else. Like verbally command her to do something, stop fingering her and maybe manhandle her a bit, or some other dominant action.

What do you guys think? How do you handle it when a girl isn't really responding well to your escalation?

[Mercenary]

Have a shower together.

Make sure you are the one removing every part of her clothing one after the other, and then tell her to remove each one of yours.

Then wash her good, obviously lingering a lot on her soaping up her tits and washing between her legs. Order her to turn around (or just spin her around) and tell her to lift her arms and place her hands flat above her on the wall, as you wash under her arms. While she is with her hands on the wall, spread her legs a bit and wash her ass and between her legs. This is a very vulnerable position that both scares and turns her on. When you're done, turn her around again and hold and kiss her deeply while she is a big soapy mess.

Rinse her off with water and then make sure she washes you. If she's reluctant, tell her she needs to do it. Make sure she cleans your feet. Why ? Because to do this, she will have to bend down or get on her knees to wash them. Submission and compliance right there. Obviously make her wash and massage your dick.

The combination of hot water, being massaged by a strong guy, doing what you say and kneeling in front of you will both relax and turn her on. After the shower she should be ready to be pounded good.

[jamaicabound]

Not that common but some girls just aren't that into sex. A girl I was with a while back would let me do stuff but would never initiate and wasn't that receptive. After a while I learned she just wasn't that into sex, basically after I expressed my frustration after a lot of trying she said just low libido. I guess her mom had the same problem and had seen doctors and stuff like that. This girl was hot too and I knew she was digging me but for whatever reason she was more about chilling and cuddling and stuff and not really doing shit. Just had to give up.

[Gmac]

Try chocolate, red wine, and other aphrodisiacs. Maybe your foreplay needs work. In my experience fingering doesn't do nearly as much as clit stimulation.

Wetness and horniness aren't always directly correlated either. You will run into women with low sex drives, it's very common.

[Saweeep]

I never even attempt to take a girl's clothes off till I know she's already gushing downstairs.

I think you're rushing things.

[Saweeep]

(10-13-2015 10:04 AM)jamaicabound Wrote:  

Not that common but some girls just aren't that into sex. A girl I was with a while back would let me do stuff but would never initiate and wasn't that receptive. After a while I learned she just wasn't that into sex, basically after I expressed my frustration after a lot of trying she said just low libido. I guess her mom had the same problem and had seen doctors and stuff like that. This girl was hot too and I knew she was digging me but for whatever reason she was more about chilling and cuddling and stuff and not really doing shit. Just had to give up.

Maybe.

It's more likely she wasn't that into you sexually, sorry.

[DJ-Matt]

(10-13-2015 11:16 AM)Gmac Wrote:  

Try chocolate, red wine, and other aphrodisiacs. Maybe your foreplay needs work. In my experience fingering doesn't do nearly as much as clit stimulation.

Wetness and horniness aren't always directly correlated either. You will run into women with low sex drives, it's very common.

And the 90% cacao stuff can nearly drive a chick to orgasm.

[heavy]

I'd guess most of us have been in the scenario you described, so I'll give my thoughts...

- When I sense a girl isn't digging it (whatever it is), I back off and show how outcome independent I am. Because I am. The +30 year old me would rather have great sex when she wants it than sex just to get my rocks off (my 25 year old self may not have been so conciliatory). Most of the time we end up having great sex within the next 20 minutes. If not, I have my integrity.
- I've probably lost some notches because of that ^^. Who cares. My younger self lost notches because he was a pussy. My older self loses them to maintain integrity. I'm ok with the latter. I get enough great sex.
- I concur with CrashBangWallop, no clothes off until she's like a rainforest down there. Again, this may simply be more of a reality in recent years. I've hit my stride in the last year (#s and quality), plus I'm way more outcome dependent.
- I think birth control creates dryness sometimes. Also, some chics are horny but dry.
- You can start dry and finger them to wetness. That said, you should be getting some signals from her on whether to keep going. If you're fingering them and they're getting more dry, you may be missing some other signals.

What you do with these scenarios is a reflection of game overall. Just as she may be in bitch mode and turn you down at the club, in your situation she may just have a dry vagina. As long as there's another potential unknown variable, no worries. Just proceed and work at becoming a better man...with the next girl.

[PapayaTapper]

Guys often forget that chicks are wired different than us. With us they just need to tickle our balls a bit. With them you've got to "tickle their brain" first.

You see they view the WHOLE interaction with a guy as foreplay LEARN that

This is where experience with reading their response comes in. There's not one thing that works with 100% of them 100% of the time but there are a lot things you can do leading up to the bang that will get her worked up.

One example is hair pulling. This is a great one IF DONE RIGHT. Im NOT talking about pulling her hair like you did in 3rd grade.

If I'm starting to make out with a chick at one point VERY early on I will slide my hand up the nape of her neck with fingers running up her scalp...almost as if I'm about to give her a head massage. Then I gently but firmly will grab a handful of hair and pull her head back a bit.

If coupled with something whispered into her ear that's calibrated to her responsiveness or your interaction like "Don't be afraid but I'm going to fuck your brains out now" This is a simple but powerful act of domination that they almost cant help but respond to.

Another example of tickling her brain: If pre bang a girl gets a little flirty and the conversation gets sexual at all I always ask;

PT "What's your favorite position?"
Her "Cowgirl, blah blah" (whatever)
Her "What's yours/?"
PT "Well there's one I haven't tried yet but I think it will be my new favorite"
Her "Oh yeah? What's that?"
PT "All the way up inside you and about to come"

And

Pussy gushing game over.

[PapayaTapper]

(10-13-2015 04:58 AM)Talekhine Wrote:  

Recently I was in the process of trying to work through LMR with a girl and it seemed like nothing I was doing was turning her on. This has happened a couple times to me in the past. It's pretty much always in a situation where a girl is putting up some (token) resistance, and I'm attempting to get her in the mood via making out, groping, rubbing her pussy over her clothes, fingering her, etc. When this happens and I'm fingering such a girl, she'll get a little bit wet but still be fairly dry, and then it seems like the longer I finger her when she's dry, the more awkward it becomes and the less turned on she gets because we're both aware that she's not getting turned on. In these situations the girl is normally "letting things happen" to her, but not actively participating (not actively grinding into me or running her hands over me or anything).

I'm fairly experienced (~50 notches) and the vast majority of times I'm with a girl things go well. However sometimes the above happens, and I'd like to get better at dealing with it.

My take on it is that when this happens it stems from a failure of game leading up to that point. If a girl is attracted to you from the way you've been gaming her, she'll naturally be turned on when you start escalating. So the problem isn't really with physical technique for turning a girl on.

The other thing I'm assuming is that I need to amp up the dominance. When the above stuff happens, I'm generally escalating pretty slowly because I'm trying to build up tension. However slow escalation can also come off as lack of initiative / lack of dominance.

Third, I think I continue too long with "slow escalation" when it's not working well. If I'm fingering a girl for 30 seconds and she's not clearly getting a lot wetter, then I should probably do something else. Like verbally command her to do something, stop fingering her and maybe manhandle her a bit, or some other dominant action.

What do you guys think? How do you handle it when a girl isn't really responding well to your escalation?

^^^^Edit: Just re read your original post so you get it.

[Gmac]

(10-13-2015 12:29 PM)PapayaTapper Wrote:  

Guys often forget that chicks are wired different than us. With us they just need to tickle our balls a bit. With them you've got to "tickle their brain" first.

You see they view the WHOLE interaction with a guy as foreplay LEARN that

This is where experience with reading their response comes in. There's not one thing that works with 100% of them 100% of the time but there are a lot things you can do leading up to the bang that will get her worked up.

One example is hair pulling. This is a great one IF DONE RIGHT. Im NOT talking about pulling her hair like you did in 3rd grade.

If I'm starting to make out with a chick at one point VERY early on I will slide my hand up the nape of her neck with fingers running up her scalp...almost as if I'm about to give her a head massage. Then I gently but firmly will grab a handful of hair and pull her head back a bit.

If coupled with something whispered into her ear that's calibrated to her responsiveness or your interaction like "Don't be afraid but I'm going to fuck your brains out now" This is a simple but powerful act of domination that they almost cant help but respond to.

Another example of tickling her brain: If pre bang a girl gets a little flirty and the conversation gets sexual at all I always ask;

PT "What's your favorite position?"
Her "Cowgirl, blah blah" (whatever)
Her "What's yours/?"
PT "Well there's one I haven't tried yet but I think it will be my new favorite"
Her "Oh yeah? What's that?"
PT "All the way up inside you and about to come"

And

Pussy gushing game over.

This is all great advice, especially the subtle movements like guiding your hand up a girl's neck or down her back. The art has become so ingrained for me when I'm actually in the moment this stuff comes second nature, sometimes it's easy to forget newbies don't actually practice good foreplay and what it means to be a good lover.

A lot of guys think you can just make out with a girl for a few minutes and then jam your hand down her shirt or pants and she'll be hot and heavy. It doesn't work like that with most women.

You'll quickly learn what the girl likes or doesn't by how she responds, if she keeps her eyes opened or closed, if her breathing changes, etc. Some girls (especially those hypersensitive to tickling) don't like it if I'm kissing their neck and move to exhale a bit into their ear. It may sound weird (as it did typing that out), but the girls that do get goosebumps and tend to go a little crazy.

[heavy]

(10-13-2015 12:29 PM)PapayaTapper Wrote:  

...
You see they view the WHOLE interaction with a guy as foreplay
...

Genius.

Though I thought you were going to describe a push/pull give/take scenario, where you tease her with a hand slide or a finger, then pull back. This applies to the verbal and tactile, and in regards to finger her, it applies whether she's dry or gushing down there. You're always teasing.

That's how I see it. The entire interaction, including the sex, is a tease, where she's never sure when you'll start or stop, speed up or slow down...escalate or de-escalate.

To me this is one of the keys to game, from approach to sex.

[Rawmeo]

If she isn't getting wet / excited, a thing that works well is pussy licking. Make sure that she's clean down there (no seafood smell) and start eating the flower (although I got a sausage once, but I was drunk and didn't do proper screening beforehand).

Do it until she gets wet. As long as she didn't stand up and left, it isn't over. Push as much as you can. Leave her bra / shirt on if she's on the shy side. Booze works well too.

If nothing works, I just pull it put and try to go slip it in. If at this point it's no dice, you can ask her to leave.

Remember: Girl denying you sex = we don't spend the night together. Sleeping with me and getting breakfast is a reward that a girl will get for giving good sex without too much resistance. A girl who denies sex must leave. This is debatable, but I'm not a nice guy. I once let a girl at 2 a.m. go get a taxi alone because she wouldn't put out. She was doing horny texting and turned me on, to stop when I was licking down there. That was plain insulting and I kicked her out on the spot.

Being "dry" doesn't mean not excited. Some girls are just naturally dryer. That sucks, but we gotta deal with it. Just push as far as it will go.

[Dusty]

   

[PapayaTapper]

(10-14-2015 09:00 AM)heavy Wrote:  

(10-13-2015 12:29 PM)PapayaTapper Wrote:  

...
You see they view the WHOLE interaction with a guy as foreplay
...

Genius.

Though I thought you were going to describe a push/pull give/take scenario, where you tease her with a hand slide or a finger, then pull back. This applies to the verbal and tactile, and in regards to finger her, it applies whether she's dry or gushing down there. You're always teasing.

That's how I see it. The entire interaction, including the sex, is a tease, where she's never sure when you'll start or stop, speed up or slow down...escalate or de-escalate.

To me this is one of the keys to game, from approach to sex.

You're right. I should have elaborated on the "brain tickle" (often referred to as "tingles") part of my point but you've nailed it. The point is you can start getting her "ready" long before you actually get physical with the right game. It's one seamless process from initial approach to bang. I've gotten to where from the first 30 minutes I can usually tell whether a girl will respond with my "suave sophisticated older guy" game or she needs "daddy" game or I'll likely need to go "caveman". Sometimes I have to transition from one to the other depending on the signals and the situation but the whole idea is that by the time we make out she's ready to go.

Which reminds me. I strongly suggest not making out until in the bang location. Making out too early and too often diminishes the "tingles" You should try to time the "brain tickles" so that they are at peak when you are in the bang location. In real estate they say "location location location" IMO, in game it should be "logistics, logistics, logistics"...but that's a whole other topic

[SomeFcksGiven]

(10-14-2015 11:07 AM)Rawmeo Wrote:  

If she isn't getting wet / excited, a thing that works well is pussy licking. Make sure that she's clean down there (no seafood smell) and start eating the flower (although I got a sausage once, but I was drunk and didn't do proper screening beforehand).

[Remington]

(10-14-2015 09:32 PM)SomeFcksGiven Wrote:  

(10-14-2015 11:07 AM)Rawmeo Wrote:  

If she isn't getting wet / excited, a thing that works well is pussy licking. Make sure that she's clean down there (no seafood smell) and start eating the flower (although I got a sausage once, but I was drunk and didn't do proper screening beforehand).

Please elaborate on this...

[PapayaTapper]

(10-14-2015 09:42 PM)Remington Wrote:  

(10-14-2015 09:32 PM)SomeFcksGiven Wrote:  

(10-14-2015 11:07 AM)Rawmeo Wrote:  

If she isn't getting wet / excited, a thing that works well is pussy licking. Make sure that she's clean down there (no seafood smell) and start eating the flower (although I got a sausage once, but I was drunk and didn't do proper screening beforehand).

Please elaborate on this...

Please don't...ok do...no don't....

[Lacesoutray]

(10-13-2015 05:58 AM)Mercenary Wrote:  

Have a shower together.

Make sure you are the one removing every part of her clothing one after the other, and then tell her to remove each one of yours.

Then wash her good, obviously lingering a lot on her soaping up her tits and washing between her legs. Order her to turn around (or just spin her around) and tell her to lift her arms and place her hands flat above her on the wall, as you wash under her arms. While she is with her hands on the wall, spread her legs a bit and wash her ass and between her legs. This is a very vulnerable position that both scares and turns her on. When you're done, turn her around again and hold and kiss her deeply while she is a big soapy mess.

Rinse her off with water and then make sure she washes you. If she's reluctant, tell her she needs to do it. Make sure she cleans your feet. Why ? Because to do this, she will have to bend down or get on her knees to wash them. Submission and compliance right there. Obviously make her wash and massage your dick.

The combination of hot water, being massaged by a strong guy, doing what you say and kneeling in front of you will both relax and turn her on. After the shower she should be ready to be pounded good.

[Lacesoutray]

(10-14-2015 09:32 PM)SomeFcksGiven Wrote:  

(10-14-2015 11:07 AM)Rawmeo Wrote:  

If she isn't getting wet / excited, a thing that works well is pussy licking. Make sure that she's clean down there (no seafood smell) and start eating the flower (although I got a sausage once, but I was drunk and didn't do proper screening beforehand).

Wow, GIF had me ROLLING.

[duedue]

You can offer to give her a massage.
You can also whip you little buddy out in a nonthreatening way and tell her it want her attention.

[Mercenary]

As an absolute last resort if she isn't getting turned on and wet after more than a few hours of you trying (and if nothing else you are doing works) but she's still kissing you back and letting you grope her body all over, I have done the following:

Tell her in a very serious tone of voice that you think there's a problem with her sexuality but you are not sure yet. Ask her from what age she started to touch herself when she is alone (in bed, in the shower, etc) and how often she does it now. Then make her demonstrate to you how she does it. I don't mean for a few seconds. I mean she has to (at least partially) undress, close her eyes, start rubbing herself, and turn herself on. In essence you are ordering her to masturbate and make herself wet in front of you.

If you run across a girl who claims she doesn't do this (or has never tried) then tell her she needs to learn right now.

For many girls it may well be the first time they do this in front of a guy, so it's essential you maintain seriousness and make her feel like something is wrong with her and that she needs to correct it right away, at that very moment, for you.

Sometimes watching a girl get herself off can also be a turn on for you if she does it in a real sexy way with the right facial expressions, movements and moans. This is helpful if your dick has gone limp (or gotten tired) from trying all night to turn on a dead fish.

While she is doing this ask her what things she thinks about while she gets herself off. The trick is to get her to talk about her fantasy or what turns her on and while she is doing this, you obviously start kissing and touching her as well and become part of the fantasy. Once she is wet and ready to go, then enter her and plow away.

I really try to avoid this, as she should be turned on by you and your actions and nothing else.

But there will be times when this method becomes a necessary evil to get her pussy wet the way you need it.
Especially if:

1. You feel you have to get inside her on that day at all costs.

2. You have put a lot of money, time and effort into getting to that moment.

3. You know (or have a strong feeling) that if you don't fuck her on that day there won't be another chance.

I repeat, this should never be the default way of turning on a girl.
Always use it as a last resort when everything else has failed.