[STriple-R]

Good luck. Remember you don't have to be ashamed for your feelings/needs. Just escalate and see what happens. It's a bag her/dump her situation.

[Phoenix]

(08-02-2015 05:20 PM)captndonk Wrote:  

Damn, here is the story:

I picked her up and she didn't like my idea to go to the river. She wanted to go to my flat first. So we went there played a game und left for a walk. We both initiated some physical contact but always in a playful not romantic way.

But the conversation was going well. We both liked it. We went to a tower and sat on top of the tower very close, with legs touching. But when I finally put my arm around her, she wanted to take a photo of the sky and stood up.

Later back home instead of drying my hands i splattered the water in her face. She kinda liked it and started some fight. We than afterwards sat on my bed and I had her in my arms and she showed me some photos on her mobile phone.

I was stupid to enjoy this small step and didn't push further for the kiss. Few minutes later she had to leave.

I certainly didn't push hard enough and I really regret it.

You are under instruction from the RVF to kiss her within 5 minutes of sitting together on your bed.

[ksbms]

(08-05-2015 06:05 AM)captndonk Wrote:  

Today we will meet again. I hope I can overcome my shyness.

If the great men of the past only hoped for things to happen, It would have been much less welcoming word that we live in. Be a great man, if only of your life but you've got to start from somewhere. Perhaps you're going through pessimism bias stage in your life?

[captndonk]

Again it didn't go the way I wanted it to go. She came to me, we sat in the kitchen and talked a bit and then we went to my room and sat on my bed. I had her in my arms for like 2hours, I touched and I fondled her legs and arms and I played with her hands a lot.

I tried to kiss her two times. The situation felt really right for this. The first time she turned her head away. I didn't knew wheter it was just a reflex so I tried it again short time later. She let it happen for one small kiss and then turned back away and said "no". I said something unrelated to this try and let it go. Afterwards we ate something and she left.

I didn't push it to the maximum again but I tried it. I don't understand why she did behave like this. She also refuses to drink alcohol because of some specific bad experience she doesn't want to talk about.

[Just Approach]

Stop inviting her back to your place and move onto a different bitch.

You had her in your arms for 2 hours on your bed and couldn't get a simple kiss.

Either you go caveman her and treat her like the little slut she has the potential to be for you or you move on.

She is fucking with your head and you are putting her on a pedestal by letting her control the situation in your own house.

It's your rules when she enters your house not hers so act like it.

You definitely need to be more aggressive if you have been on 3 dates and have the girl in your bedroom and can't even get a kiss.

Always Be Replacing Not Chasing.

Move on to a girl who values the time you allow her to spend with you and remember to have options by having an abundance mentality. Not settling for girls who want even give you a kiss after the 3rd date.

[captndonk]

Okay, but there is one thing I don't get. She also invests a lot. She spent a lot of time with me and she always has to travel about 45minutes for one way.
If I now stop interacting with her she will definitely ask me why. Telling her that I expected more than cuddling seems like whining.

[Il Bersagliere]

Overt is all they seem to understand dude. She'll get the message if you go ghost.

[OregonToSoCal]

(08-05-2015 05:13 PM)captndonk Wrote:  

Okay, but there is one thing I don't get. She also invests a lot. She spent a lot of time with me and she always has to travel about 45minutes for one way.
If I now stop interacting with her she will definitely ask me why. Telling her that I expected more than cuddling seems like whining.

I'm not trying to get on you too much here but to me the problem is just as much you as it is her. You're being extremely timid and tentative with her and both of those things dry up a pussy quicker than the drought here in California.

If she reaches out to you again invite her over one last time. When you're in your room with her you have to be more aggressive with her. Pull her hair, aggressively kiss her, push her against the wall. If she physically pushes you away or firmly says 'NO' by all means stop right there. No one is advocating assault. But if you're lying there with her in your arms for two hours and she gently says no when you try for a second kiss you have a lot more room for escalation. Make her get up and physically leave. Remember sex must always be the man's fault!

One other thought. If you're both old enough to drink or you can get some weed that's a huge help too (I think someone already said this). Also, ask her if she's ever watched porn. Unless she passionately says how "disgusting" it is, pull out your laptop or tablet and have a group of videos that you think are particularly hot ready to go. Don't underestimate watching porn with a girl. It can get them very turned on very quickly.

You must aggressively lead! No excuses!

[PapayaTapper]

(08-05-2015 05:13 PM)captndonk Wrote:  

Okay, but there is one thing I don't get. She also invests a lot. She spent a lot of time with me and she always has to travel about 45minutes for one way.
If I now stop interacting with her she will definitely ask me why. Telling her that I expected more than cuddling seems like whining.

Do not "tell" her or any other woman anything about your frustration. Ever. Thats a sure way to kill any chance you have

She's 19 so there's a chance that's she's just inexperienced and in fact still a virgin and/or just shy. A kiss may actually still be very sexual to her...it's possible

The fact that she's willing to come back to your apt with you is great. good job. But...She lets you hold her in your arms means she's comfortable...too comfortable You are heading straight into friend zone if you do not sexualize your encounters very very soon She needs to know that YOU see HER in as sexual way soon or she will NEVER see you that way

Your problem is you aren't creating enough ATTRACTION so that escalating becomes easy (When this is done right then you wont have to escalate...she will,,,but that's another topic)

Try this: Tell her your going to cook your favorite meal at your house. If you dont know how to cook then learn a quick recipe...there's a million.

Once she's there you share a nice bottle of wine "that pairs well with the food" (It can be anything because 19 yo girls know nothing about food and wine). I know it's Germany so drinking at 19 is legal I believe.

This is a way to show a level of sophistication that she see and help you with the "attraction" part. The wine is also a great way to help her relax if she's nervous (possibly) and lower her inhibitions. (And no I'm not talking about getting her wasted and plowing when she's unconscious).

After dinner if you can get her sitting in your lap again, hopefully while you guys are having another glass of wine, (to look at pictures, watch a movie, whatever) try this: instead of holding both her hands or "trying for a kiss" right away, start by nuzzling, kissing her on her neck, under her ear. This has almost proved foolproof for me (I'd say about 90% conversion over the years). If she lets you do this then reach up with one hand and GENTLY hold her by the throat. If she lets you do THAT then within a few seconds she will be ready for you to turn around and kiss. She should be ready for at least a nice make out session.

Keep escalating with CONFIDENCE. Do not be thinking "I hope she keeps letting me or doesn't stop me" because if she senses any hesitation on your part she will. In the back of your mind you need to know that this is what men and women do. They fuck.

Even if she does put up LMR at least you'll know that she KNOWS you think of her sexually And that my friend is at least half the battle.

It may take one or two more sessions because of her age and possible virgin but if you keep escalating you should be able to get the bang in short order

[amusedmastery]

Dread game now or just move on.

[captndonk]

She refuses to drink alcohol. I don't think I can change her mind on this subject.
She forgot to take her recharger cable with her. So I will definitely see her again.

@PapayaTapper

Do you talk something specific while you do your escalation routine? Just continuing the normal conversation seems odd.

[Just Approach]

captndonk are you a virgin yourself? I find it hard to believe that you have been on 3 dates with her, have her in your bedroom and were lying in bed with her for 2 hours with her in your arms and still didn't even get a basic kiss.

What kind of sick game is this.

You need to be aggressive with her asap so you can get shit started or utilize your ability to walk away from a situation where you are not getting anything beneficial in return.

Either she puts out or gets the fuck out.

And stop coming to her defense saying she has been investing a lot in you just because she traveled 45 minutes to see you.

That is a poor investment because you are not getting a return on that investment.

But seriously you need to be aggressive with her immediately and tell her your time is valuable and that if nothing sexual is going to happen then you no longer need her presence in her life because you don't want to be a time ho.

Listen to this video carefully.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Just Approach 1 Day At A Time ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[captndonk]

No, I am not a virgin. Here is my plan:

I will tell here to come over to pick up her recharger cable. I'll be aggressive and escalate. If it works all is fine if it doesn't work I tell her that I have to do other stuff and send her home. If she kisses back but refuses to go further I will make out with her for half an hour and then tell her that I have to do something else.

[PapayaTapper]

(08-06-2015 02:15 AM)captndonk Wrote:  

She refuses to drink alcohol. I don't think I can change her mind on this subject.
She forgot to take her recharger cable with her. So I will definitely see her again.

@PapayaTapper

Do you talk something specific while you do your escalation routine? Just continuing the normal conversation seems odd.

Why doesnt she drink? Religion? Is one of (or both) of her parents an alcoholic? Has she ever drank? This is a big red flag to me with a girl at 19.

Does she laugh easily or is she usually very serious? This is very important to know

Keep this in mind. AND THIS IS, WAS AND ALWAYS WILL WILL BE TRUE People only do things (or not do things) for one of two reasons.

1. Desire
or
2. Fear

Desire is positive
Fear is negative

Understanding why she doesn't drink is key in this situation. It sounds like she might be fear driven person. That really makes a difference and a whole different type of game

To answer your question Do you talk something specific while you do your escalation routine? Just continuing the normal conversation seems odd.

It depends on her reaction.

If you start kissing her neck and she's not ok with it she's going to jump up immediately. If she doesnt jump up she likes it...period.

If I'm kissing her neck and she puts up mild verbal resistance like "What are you doing?" I usually say "I'm enjoying myself is what I'm doing. Now shush and watch the movie" (or whatever it is youre doing). This gives her permission to enjoy it too

Or if I'm sensing I need to be more direct I might say "I'm doing what a man does with a woman he likes." Most girls at 19 want to be thought of as a woman and not a girl

Another trick (this is advanced Jedi mind shit) I like to use when sitting behind a girl is to squeeze her thighs/legs together with my hands or knees depending on position as im kissing her neck. Not really hard or anything but just enough to make her feel pinned and mildly trapped For her to resist this means that she has to think about opening her thighs for me That will make her panties wet

The biggest piece of advice I can give you is as Ive said before...She's already in your place, and she's already comfortable with physical contact. Thats no accident. You just need to PUSH forward FEARLESSLY. She's either into it or not and it sounds like she is...She's just waitng for you to lead her where she and evolution already want you take her

[ksbms]

Well, it looks like some people don't read posts carefully. Captndonk mentioned she doesn't drink due to some specific experience about which she gave him no details. Is that correct? It might be the case it was alcohol and her having some bad traumatic and/or sexual experience (raped?), who knows what it was... This would explain her timidness ans behaving passively. It looks like she needs lots of reassurance and isn't that interested, at least for now, in having sex.

The problem is, if you'll get her to talk about it, you become her psychologist which is not great. If not, you'll walking in the dark. Either way, if you want sex/relationship with her, it's fine if you were her age and go slow but you're 30 years old...

Perhaps, If you are really keen to keep her around as it is you could employ a contrarian modus operandi to what has been suggested above - do not escalate at all, just hang out with her as long as you accept the sex might never happen and the time you spend with her for the sake of it is worth it. At the same time do go after other girls so you wouldn't feel any pressure whilst with her.

[captndonk]

Yes that is correct. I asked her what happened but she didn't want to talk about. I guess something really bad happened like a car accident because she also refuses to cross any red traffic light even with a bicycle when there is clearly nobody around.

She did not text me today so far neither did I text her.

[Coldfire]

If she's not responding move on there are probably better prospects out there.

[PapayaTapper]

(08-06-2015 07:51 AM)ksbms Wrote:  

Perhaps, If you are really keen to keep her around as it is you could employ a contrarian modus operandi to what has been suggested above - do not escalate at all, just hang out with her as long as you accept the sex might never happen and the time you spend with her for the sake of it is worth it.

Yes this is great advice!. Spend time, money, attention and energy with a girl with no expectation of sex. Because voluntarily walking the plank into the friend zone is exactly what this forum is about and what you came here to do OP



Edit. Meanwhile another dude out there is going to make her get all tingly inside and fuck her senseless. Maybe she can come cry on OP's shoulder too when she finds out that dude isn't fucking just her

[OregonToSoCal]

(08-06-2015 02:36 AM)captndonk Wrote:  

If she kisses back but refuses to go further I will make out with her for half an hour and then tell her that I have to do something else.

Like this?


Come on man, really!?! You are so in your head with this one. Any tiny bit of raw masculine energy or sexual desire has been so thoroughly repressed by you that you will never get anywhere with this girl or any other one for that matter. Everyone on here has been patient with you and given you a lot of really good advice but you have to throw all this cerebral crap out and let your animal instincts come out.

[Il Bersagliere]

(08-06-2015 01:15 PM)OregonToSoCal Wrote:  

(08-06-2015 02:36 AM)captndonk Wrote:  

If she kisses back but refuses to go further I will make out with her for half an hour and then tell her that I have to do something else.

Like this?


Come on man, really!?! You are so in your head with this one. Any tiny bit of raw masculine energy or sexual desire has been so thoroughly repressed by you that you will never get anywhere with this girl or any other one for that matter. Everyone on here has been patient with you and given you a lot of really good advice but you have to throw all this cerebral crap out and let your animal instincts come out.

This is a huge sticking point of mine. Anytime it's time to escalate or the time draws near, my body clams up and I get tunnel vision. I literally have to think "Ok, should I go for the kiss now?" or "Maybe I should rub her back". It sucks. If that's what's troubling you -- analysis by paralysis -- then you should probably follow the above.

[Parlay44]

Keep it light. Keep it fun. Get her drunk, run your hand up her thigh then stick your tongue down her throat.

[captndonk]

Okay no she wrote, she sent me a picture of something she cooked.

I: Impressive
She: Glad to see you are not angry with me.

I didn't response to that. Later she wrote: Are you angry with me?
I responded: Sorry, I am at the city festival.

Thats it. Okay, or should I have texted more?

Fortunately I got 3 number closes out of the city festival. So I can practise textgame a lot in the next days.

[PapayaTapper]

(08-06-2015 09:15 PM)captndonk Wrote:  

Okay no she wrote, she sent me a picture of something she cooked.

I: Impressive
She: Glad to see you are not angry with me.

I didn't response to that. Later she wrote: Are you angry with me?
I responded: Sorry, I am at the city festival.

Thats it. Okay, or should I have texted more?

Fortunately I got 3 number closes out of the city festival. So I can practise textgame a lot in the next days.

I think that you played that very well. Don't give her direct answers, and show her that you are doing other stuff without her...very good

That said, what does she think you might be angry about? Because she shut you down? This is important

[christpuncher]

Her asking that is either permission to escalate or trying to make you puss out and not attempt to do so again. Your text back was excellent.

I think you're almost there. I wouldn't give up on this rural virgin fraulein just yet...

[captndonk]

Today I texted her. I didn't want her to get the impression that she could really affect my state.

I: Are you missing something?

She: No idea? Should I?

I: Its long, round but not really thick.

She: blablalba

I: No

Then after 2-3 minutes.

She: Stop it.

I: Okay, I have to go to the gym anyway.

As I came back I saw that she called me, and she texted. She wants to come over and pick up her recharger cable (finale she figgered it out).