[TheMaleBrain]

It happens to anyone in an STR or an LTR. Some day out of the blue you either piss her off, or she pisses you off - and the fight is on.
I'm talking verbal fights only. It may be a shit test, or it may be not.

I noticed that there was no (or almost no) help on the subject.

SO
I'm opening this thread for guys who will find themselves in this situation and want to keep the girl(s) in her place.

My story:
Girl #1 try to pick a fight with me every few weeks. NO, it is not that time of the month (I track it).
My Go-To-Tactic is similar. She usually starts it at my place. When I see things are heating up beyond "normal" and she try to annoy or hurt me, I tell her: "I don't want to fight you. If you have an issue - state it". If she does not do it (meaning an actual problem exists) I tell her: "Sorry. You make me feel uncomfortable. I'm taking you home, as I don't want to hang with you".
She either cools down or explains the problem, or I take her home.

This shows her that I'm willing to let her go.
Quoting Rollo Tomassi:

Quote:

In any relationship, the person with the most power is the one who needs the other the least.

One time it took her 2 days to cool off. No worry, I was seeing girl #2 or doing my own thing.
Another time she cooled off in a moment, as we had plans to go out and I told her that I will go even w/o her.
Later in both cases she said that she liked how I handeled it.

Let's hear other tips.

[Travesty]

Take her out for an appetizer. Remind her later she owes you a sexual favor.

[Rawmeo]

Just reinstalled iOS on my phone and forgot to put the passcode lock back on. When I got out of the shower, she got angry because she went through my shit and saw other girls' messages.

What I did: Asked her to take her stuff and GTFO. She apoligized around 10 times before I finally accepted to see her again.

[TheMaleBrain]

(07-19-2015 02:48 PM)Rawmeo Wrote:  

Just reinstalled iOS on my phone and forgot to put the passcode lock back on. When I got out of the shower, she got angry because she went through my shit and saw other girls' messages.

What I did: Asked her to take her stuff and GTFO. She apoligized around 10 times before I finally accepted to see her again.

[Travesty]

^ Balling.

[kavakid]

I could use some advice:

I'm dating several girls and often for no reason a girl decides she doesn't want to talk or hang out with me anymore. She stops replying to messages. Would you:

A) Be sure to tell her that you still consider her a friend even though she needs space for awhile (this has worked for me).

B) Act like nothing has happened. If she contacts you again at some point act like you didn't notice her missing from your life.

[forever_beta]

"I just had a fight with a girl"

Try marriage bro, fights are like everyday routine shit lol.

Fights are one of the most important tests of your being alpha in an LTR. Women will try to use irrational and manipulative behavior tactics in fights to beat you down and domesticate you to their liking. Once your beta conversion is complete, she loses interest and then either cheats on you or leaves you. If you're married the risks of submitting include a financially devastating divorce or the risk of being duped into raising and supporting another mans child thinking its yours.

Dealing with fights is easy (but still very stressful) if you're a mature experienced man because by now you should firmly have decided what your standards are and what behavior is allowed by the women in your life. She will beat you verbally (maybe physically), yell at you, hate you, and then love you because you are the stable rock she can rely on when she loses herself. You don't need to and shouldn't be a jerk for no reason, but you must value yourself first and stand your ground when she crosses your lines. She should know implicitly that if she continues to go too far and doesn't come to your terms, she has the very real risk of you leaving her.

[TheMaleBrain]

(07-19-2015 06:24 PM)kavakid Wrote:  

I could use some advice:

I'm dating several girls and often for no reason a girl decides she doesn't want to talk or hang out with me anymore. She stops replying to messages. Would you:

A) Be sure to tell her that you still consider her a friend even though she needs space for awhile (this has worked for me).

B) Act like nothing has happened. If she contacts you again at some point act like you didn't notice her missing from your life.

I think option B is preffered. Giving her time to think about it - she might come to her senses.
I would not rule out option A. But don't use it too often.

[General Stalin]

My goto is always just just laugh-off/downplay what they're going off about. If you can be that stoic emotional rock that she needs then she'll thank you for it one way or another sooner or later.

When it comes to winning fights with women then OP said it best with Rollo's quote. If you're willing to leave her over it then she has to decide if that's worth it to her. If she wants to keep you around then she has to correct it. Same the other way around - if she does something to piss you off and you just cavalierly make it overt that you don't like it and you'd rather be done with her than deal with it then she has to decide to change her behavior or live without you.

[kavakid]

In my experience women hate it when their misbehavior is openly called out. But they hate weak men even more. So it's better to call her out than let her run over you.

On the other hand, if you avoid her without calling her out... that's ideal. It shows you don't need her, and she can choose to correct herself without the embarrassment of a confrontation.

[Conquistador]

After a fight or other female behavioral problem that involves her directing any negativity towards you like excessively nagging you or blaming you for shit, you execute a soft next.

[amusedmastery]

Fighting/arguing with illogical creatures is folly. Just look disdainfully at them with an arched eyebrow while the hamster is going ballistic on its wheel and dryly say "that's silly". If they keep being argumentative and are just a plain bitch, then escort them to the door and go ghost on them. If in your car, then pull over and just say "out". If in their car, wait for a stoplight and just exit without saying a word. I prefer to exit whilst the vehicle is at a slow roll but not completely stopped to enhance the effect.

[TheMaleBrain]

(07-21-2015 01:27 AM)amusedmastery Wrote:  

If in their car, wait for a stoplight and just exit without saying a word. I prefer to exit whilst the vehicle is at a slow roll but not completely stopped to enhance the effect.

Don't like the "slow roll" thing. My preference though.
Unfortunatly we are people of emotions as well, and sometimes we get ticked.

[amusedmastery]

I used to get in the weeds and scrap like a pissed off Rottweiler snarling at a nasty cat with these girls. Problem is, they just figured they could get a rise out of me and would start in again to attention whore and waste my time. You aren't dealing with rational humans. If you can contain your emotion you'll master her. Treat her like a child throwing a fit and she'll see you as a rock that can't be moved by anything. It's a shit test and you'll earn respect.....and sex.

[Ingocnito]

I had a fight once with my last LTR in the middle of the country, at night, below 50 degrees, raining. She got out of the car.. in butt fucking nowhere. Wearing wedge boots. I left. Drove around for 10 minutes, then went back to find her and couldn't find her anywhere. No hat, or gloves, just a jacket... and rain.

Oh fuck it was hilarious. She walked 6+ miles back to her house. I have no clue how I didn't see her, but I did look for a little while. I assumed she got picked up.

Next day, she was flipping the fuck out. Hahahaha. I saw her boots, they were tattered as hell from the walk..

Her:"You Goddamned SOB you don't EVER let your woman walk off like that when she's pissed."

Me:"Now you know what it means to fulfill the true role of 'street prostitute' that you really are deep down bitch."

~ when attention whoring goes wrong.

[amusedmastery]

^^And she probably wanted to fuck you later that day....

[kavakid]

I'm trying to follow the guidance of Johnny Soporno who says you want to be the guy who doesn't count. By this I mean you don't add to a girl's tally of failed relationships. So I try to never break up, only take a break for awhile.

This works best when you let the girl know from the beginning that you are polyamorous. Or at least give her the impression that you will always be her friend. I talk about friendship a lot more than about polyamory.

So naturally I try to avoid getting worked up or fighting with a girl because it runs contrary to my whole approach. In other words, we can take a break from each other and it's not a breakup. But if I fight with her it makes it seem more like we have to make the relationship "work".

[Ingocnito]

(07-22-2015 02:24 PM)kavakid Wrote:  

I'm trying to follow the guidance of Johnny Soporno who says you want to be the guy who doesn't count. By this I mean you don't add to a girl's tally of failed relationships. So I try to never break up, only take a break for awhile.

This works best when you let the girl know from the beginning that you are polyamorous. Or at least give her the impression that you will always be her friend. I talk about friendship a lot more than about polyamory.

So naturally I try to avoid getting worked up or fighting with a girl because it runs contrary to my whole approach. In other words, we can take a break from each other and it's not a breakup. But if I fight with her it makes it seem more like we have to make the relationship "work".

Well it fits in well with hypergamy that women gravitate towards. One thing you'll never catch me doing is going down on women who are "friendship" aka - fuck friend types. Just fuck 'em. I suppose it's the fairest, most stress free way to conduct things nowadays. (Nihilism in action)

A girl I'm seeing now fed me the usual line of "you're the only one I want to fuck and that I'm fucking." Sure honey. So when it became obvious she was fucking others a few weeks later (as well am I), the topic arose and we had a little fight.

I doused the fight and fell into the frame you mentioned above. The other tell, that she's ultimately fucking guys under the same guise as you mention is whenever she talks and phrases comments about guys as such;"So my 'friend,' he went to the car dealership the other day and ......." At very least she keeps ex-fucks on the line regularly and gives it up to keep them around too, in case shit with you totally falls through.

Rather than fights, I just play the game with ambiguous statements that drive them nuts when I'm not around, or before taking "a break." Usually with anything they say, if it's too vague, or too detailed, something is being lied about anyways, and no sense in stirring a turd when basic psychology proves the answer you already know. Let them think they run the show a bit, but ball out when they're out of sight.

[BarryInSF]

Yup.

[The Great Basilisk]

I've had two instances where just leaving the scene has been very effective:
1) LTR was drunk and pissed at something that i said to her friend at a bar. She sat on the sidewalk and started crying. I left her there to cry and walked away. She called me about 5 times until i finally picked up and told her i'd come back if she started behaving.
2) Another plate got pissed at me shutting down her idea about something. She started walking away, i followed for a while until she finally agreed to tell me why she was pissed. She explained her grievance and i listened. Then i just said "I think you should go home" and walked away. She called me 5 minutes later and asked if we could talk at my apartment. Oh yeah and then we had sex.

[TheMaleBrain]

New one:
I was with girl #2 on Fri, and met girl #1 on Sat.
Girl #1 knew that I have met #2 on Fri.

While in bed, she was making an effort to blow me, and I laid there enjoying.
She suddenly says: "I don't feel your passion".

Told her not to go into this mood, but of course she did.
So I got out of bed, naked and went to my computer.

She was shocked.
Told her that I would be back in bed, if she dropped the act.
She did not.

Got a phone call (still naked) and was on the phone.
She got dressed and started cursing me. Calling me gay, and shouting that I did not deserve her.

Showed her to the door.
One minute later she came back, and demanded to be fucked.
Told her to drop off the act, and get to bed.
Which she did.

2 orgasms later, she said she was sorry.
So I told her again that if she does not respect boundaries, I will not be in bed with her.

Until the next time.

[Engineer]

(10-22-2015 05:18 AM)TheMaleBrain Wrote:  

She suddenly says: "I don't feel your passion".

Sounds like you handled it well and got the lay. How about this counter when she says the above: "That's your fault, baby, not mine."

[Rawmeo]

(10-22-2015 05:18 AM)TheMaleBrain Wrote:  

New one:
I was with girl #2 on Fri, and met girl #1 on Sat.
Girl #1 knew that I have met #2 on Fri.

While in bed, she was making an effort to blow me, and I laid there enjoying.
She suddenly says: "I don't feel your passion".

Told her not to go into this mood, but of course she did.
So I got out of bed, naked and went to my computer.

She was shocked.
Told her that I would be back in bed, if she dropped the act.
She did not.

Got a phone call (still naked) and was on the phone.
She got dressed and started cursing me. Calling me gay, and shouting that I did not deserve her.

Showed her to the door.
One minute later she came back, and demanded to be fucked.
Told her to drop off the act, and get to bed.
Which she did.

2 orgasms later, she said she was sorry.
So I told her again that if she does not respect boundaries, I will not be in bed with her.

Until the next time.

[HankMoody]

My rules of engagement with women:

- Never apologize for any reason, and never give in
- Refuse to see it her way for any reason, even if you're wrong (especially if you're wrong).
- Do not give into appeals to emotion - "You would really do that?" "That's so evil!" "My guy friends say you're a real jerk!" Don't care.
- Do not play into their "this is a huge crisis". No, it's not, it's silly and petty.
- If she keeps it up, disengage
- Women truly are overgrown children. There's no logic or bigger meaning. It's all based on feelings. Their mood and "problems" change with the wind.
- They pick fights over nothing because they want attention. If you acknowledge their nothing, you've played into it.

One of the biggest mistakes I see men make in LTRs is acknowledging a woman's asinine bullshit as though it had any logical merit, and then playing into it. "Babe, I'm so sorry you feel that way, I didn't mean it like that, that wasn't my intention. I was just trying to make some space in the kitchen. I won't ever move the tuna again." Absolutely fucking not. Those are the same guys who get cheated on, and spend their days apologizing all the time, wondering what they can do to be better husbands and boyfriends.

Blowing off stupid bullshit manufactured fights for attention is actually the most important part of maintaining an LTR or marriage.

Actual conversation last night:

"Hank, can you come in here, we really need to talk about something."
"I'm busy."
"Hank, please come in the living room."
"No. If it's that important you can come into the kitchen."
"Ok."
"What's up, babe?"
"Well, see, um, you moved my stuff in the bathroom without asking me. I just feel it's really disrespectful, and that you're constantly disrespectful towards me. I feel like you need to treat me with more respect!"
"I'm in the middle of doing something important, and you interrupted it over this? Seriously?"
"Hank, this is important. I feel like you're constantly disrespectful to me. My friend Joe Beta agrees. Can you at least admit that what you did was disrespectful, and that you'll start respecting me more in the future?"
"Absolutely not. We're not having this conversation. It's my house, stuff goes where I say it goes. I don't need your permission to move anything. If you don't like that, sleep somewhere else."
"I'm going home! I can't believe I let you disrespect me like this and won't even talk about it!"
"Fine. Go home."

[she storms into the living room and starts to call an Uber. ten minutes later she walks into the kitchen, where I'm still working.]

"Hank, I'm sorry that I overreacted. I appreciate that you let me keep stuff at your home. I just get stupidly emotional sometimes. I don't want to go home. You treat me so well, and I should appreciate it more."
"It's cool."

[sex ensues]

Consistently act like that and she'll describe you to her friends as a stubborn, chauvinistic, pigheaded man who she's hopelessly in love with.

[Rawmeo]

I've got a solution for that. In my main bedroom, I've got a wardrobe with a sliding door that has a lock. Behind this door is a storage cabinet. There are 5 "shelves" inside that storage area (40 cm wide), thus separating the storage space in 5 "compartments". Each compartment is assigned to a girl, and includes a piece of paper describing where her stuff was in the house.

Let's say Girl A comes to the house. I open the storage, take her things, and hang them in the house where she left them, so she will feel like I didn't touch her things and she is the only girl coming, as she can freely mark her territory using underwear / bobby pins / etc.
When the girl leaves, I just put the stuff back in the cabinet and lock it. Rinse and repeat for girl B.

I've never, ever, had a fight since I started doing this. Just plain ol' harem management. Make sure that the key is in a safe location, as things will get nasty if a girl finds out.