[Georges89]

Hi guys,

recently I have had this kind of fling with this girl who actually has a boyfriend. We had a one night stand, and have met a few times before and once after. Its a little strange as the situation with her boyfriend is that he is the otherside of the globe and practically, they will no longer be able to date each other. Its just a matter of time but they still say they love each other and speak a lot.

As for me, we have occasional conversations on whatsapp, we had a conversation last weekend, then she does not bother to reply. Then midweek, she texts me saying hi how are you/how was your WE, i more or less message back with, hi weekend was good, how was yours, and what your plans over next few days? She then does not respond to me even though she was the one that initially got in touch..Then Last night at about midnight, she texts me saying what am I up to. Before the conversation can get going she says she is going to bed..

Just seems like she is being a total tease, starting conversations, not reply, starting conversations at times that seem like she wants a hook up, then saying she is going to bed etc. My understanding is that, ok, if there is no interest from her side, she does not need to text me and I won't bother to respond to her if the conversation is not mutually moving forward with back and forth responses. By this way it prevents me from chasing.

So it seems that she is toying with me somewhat, and I don't really understand why. It's strange, and frustrating to be honest, a bit of a head****. Anyway, I suppose I have never really had this experience before - I guess I've been lucky - but I just want to know what your advice would be.

How do you know for sure if she is toying with you? do you play along? do you call her out? what is the best strategy for dealing with this kind of girl?

To be honest, my gut feeling is that its not worth trying to play along, trying to be honest but just to cut communication as she seems to be messing around with me and not being genuine with her desires or what she wants. I have deleted her from my contacts, giving her the chance to message me on occasion, but the next step is just to block her I think and get this ***** out of my mind. Its just strange as it seems like its only since the weekend she has done this, almost as if its a kind of strategy on her part.

Do I play along or just move on?

[Phoenix]

Sounds like a scatterbrain. You could try to hook better on the reply next time. Instead of "yeah hey good how you? blah blah", throw some cocky hooks like "Ssshh I'm busy" or "can't tell you" or whatever. Scatterbrains need their clickbait to function. Throw mystery/cocky/interesting whatever stuff, then suggest immediate come over / hang out. If she has boyfriend hamstering issues, bait it with plausible deniability "I have this game we could play / this new movie I hear is awesome / I just bought a new tuba and I'll let you try play it" whatever, so she can hamster away that she's just coming over to take your slong.

[amusedmastery]

The medium is the message...She has low interest level for whatever reason. Stop texting her and start meeting other/more women.

[iknowexactly]

Anything but "yes" is "no."

Roosh suggested one of the best indicators of disinterest is that a person doesn't ask you questions about yourself.

It's an excellent one because a person can be very polite and ANSWER all YOUR questions, and even do routine flirt and friendliness routines out of habit, but they'll never try to ask anything about your history, interests or plans.... because they know those things don't matter to them. They're just with you for the moment.

[~wrIghter~]

Georges we actually have a similar situation. Since you've banged this girl already I think you're good to move on to other chicks. In my case I missed my window and am working on getting another shot. Same "girl in LDR" situation as yours. Your best shot is to try getting her out, "meet me for xx Friday night @8". If she goes cold proceed to block her # and follow other leads. Girls like this can be headaches. I'm all to familiar...

[Feo]

I didn't read your post..but if she isn't interested she wouldn't keep replying to your calls/texts. I'd say keep her on the back-burner while you slay other girls.

[birthday cat]

if you have to ask then she is probably playing games or not that interested, find other girls and maybe send her a short text in a month

[Georges89]

Thanks for all your messages guys.

I think when I look back, its perhaps an issue of interpretation in some regard. Perhaps she has been really busy this week, perhaps her boyfriend and her have been communicating a lot also.

The bottom line however is that her interest levels at this point in time - for what ever reason - aren't high enough. When I ask her a question like what are your plans over next few days and she doesnt respond to that, then its clearly a strong sign that her interest levels aren't high enough.

I realised I was overanalysing the situation a lot and looking back now I feel I have more clarity on the matter, and thanks guys for your advice. When I simplify it down to a more obvious level, her interest rates simply arent high enough at present to want to engage with me, and I can't control that, so its just something I am accepting and am now moving on.

[robreke]

(07-18-2015 07:33 AM)Georges89 Wrote:  

Hi guys,

recently I have had this kind of fling with this girl who actually has a boyfriend. We had a one night stand, and have met a few times before and once after. Its a little strange as the situation with her boyfriend is that he is the otherside of the globe and practically, they will no longer be able to date each other. Its just a matter of time but they still say they love each other and speak a lot.

As for me, we have occasional conversations on whatsapp, we had a conversation last weekend, then she does not bother to reply. Then midweek, she texts me saying hi how are you/how was your WE, i more or less message back with, hi weekend was good, how was yours, and what your plans over next few days? She then does not respond to me even though she was the one that initially got in touch..Then Last night at about midnight, she texts me saying what am I up to. Before the conversation can get going she says she is going to bed..

Just seems like she is being a total tease, starting conversations, not reply, starting conversations at times that seem like she wants a hook up, then saying she is going to bed etc. My understanding is that, ok, if there is no interest from her side, she does not need to text me and I won't bother to respond to her if the conversation is not mutually moving forward with back and forth responses. By this way it prevents me from chasing.

So it seems that she is toying with me somewhat, and I don't really understand why. It's strange, and frustrating to be honest, a bit of a head****. Anyway, I suppose I have never really had this experience before - I guess I've been lucky - but I just want to know what your advice would be.

How do you know for sure if she is toying with you? do you play along? do you call her out? what is the best strategy for dealing with this kind of girl?

To be honest, my gut feeling is that its not worth trying to play along, trying to be honest but just to cut communication as she seems to be messing around with me and not being genuine with her desires or what she wants. I have deleted her from my contacts, giving her the chance to message me on occasion, but the next step is just to block her I think and get this ***** out of my mind. Its just strange as it seems like its only since the weekend she has done this, almost as if its a kind of strategy on her part.

Do I play along or just move on?

Girls like this, I go radio silence for a few weeks....maybe 3 or so then try a restart. If no go, ditch em.

Sometimes they'll be interested again down the road, especially if you've already banged them.

[Georges89]

(07-18-2015 06:00 PM)robreke Wrote:  

Girls like this, I go radio silence for a few weeks....maybe 3 or so then try a restart. If no go, ditch em.

Sometimes they'll be interested again down the road, especially if you've already banged them.

Yeah, I'm usually a little more hasty then that to be honest. Its only been the last 7 days since this woman has started becoming more distant and less responsive, and I'm already killing it off. If she doesn't get back in touch with me in three weeks, I would take that as a big sign there is limited interest.

My method - right or wrong - is to cut communication as soon as there are early signs that her interest levels have reduced for whatever reason, because otherwise you are fighting a losing battle by continually trying to engage her whilst her interest levels are dwindling. I think I'm better off cutting communication whilst its still relatively early, and move on as soon as possible.

The reason I do this is not in the hope that I win over that girl, in fact, I don't mind at all if that's the last time I speak to her. I try to have the mindset that if this girl is showing low interest levels, why waste time on her? I want to find 3-4 girls that are excited about me and want to see me as much as I want to see them.

So I won't even bother waiting three weeks and then texting that girl. Unless she comes back after a while and asks if I am available to meet, then maybe..She has to show the interest level and has to be the one to ask me the questions, and then you at least know there is a real interest from her side, but otherwise, life is too short. The truth is, its unlikely that she will do that. When was the last time you had little interest in a girl and she texted you after three weeks whilst you are focused on other girls you have interest in? Once you have made your mind up on what side of the fence that girl sits in your mind, its pretty hard to uncondition yourself to like someone you didn't previously and vice versa.

The difficult thing is when she will text me again in a few days with 'hi how are you?' and it's very tempting to text back and get my hopes up again, but I need to stay strong this time..

[Off The Reservation]

You are just one more in a series of guys that get flaked. Whatever she told you about her dissatisfaction about her boyfriend she is now telling some other guy about you.

[Georges89]

(07-19-2015 06:37 AM)offthereservation Wrote:  

You are just one more in a series of guys that get flaked. Whatever she told you about her dissatisfaction about her boyfriend she is now telling some other guy about you.

Everyone gets flaked dude, even movie stars, so thats life!

And she never actually told me she was 'dissatisfied' with her boyfriend either, lol.