[arkanBrah]

I've had an interesting, yet somewhat common occurance happen to me and I know that there are others that this has happened to as well. I'm hoping some of you seasoned hustlers can chime in on how you handle a similar situation when it happens...

I recently ran into a girl at an improv show (I'm in LA btw) that screened my calls and ignored 2 texts that I sent.

A little backstory...I met this girl in an 8 week class where we would always chat and I knew there was a bit of attraction and slight tension (we're both from the south). She's 23, legit 8 (slight onset of cankles may prevent her from going higher) and I get the impression from her facebook pictures that she does occasionally hit the clubs in the Hollywood area (uhhhhhoohhhhh). All signs point to a little slutty...which is fine because, why wouldn't I want to fuck a 23 year old in her prime?

My plan was to get this girls number during one of the last classes for two reasons: 1) in the case that she wasn't into me I didn't want any extreme awkwardness in class because I had showed interest and she didn't reciprocate, and 2) I was in a relationship 6 weeks into the classes (I don't cheat). But I missed the opportunity to get it in person because I was busy the 7th week and she didn't show up the last. So, I thought "what the hell, probably won't see her again anyway" and spit some e-game:

Facebook:

Me: subject line: are all nashville girls...
too cool for the last day of class? or just you?

Her: Haha well... I can't speak for any other Nashvillians other then myself (although we arre pretty cool) but yeah I was sooo bummed I missed the last day of class! I got really sick with a kidney infection last week it was not fun! [Her birthday was the night before the last class and I saw on facebook where she went out, but regardless, I don't care if she's telling the truth or not.] How was it? I'm gonna miss our class!

Me: umm..ouch bad stuff. im outta town for a few days but when im back let's get together. whats your #. oh yea u missed initiation into [teacher's name] super secret commercial club...maybe I'll show u the handshake if ur lucky

Her: I can't believe I missed out on a handshake! I can't live my life not knowing the handshake. My number is xxx-xxx-xxxx

So once I got back in town 1.5 weeks after this exchange, I call. No answer (Sunday). Send a text saying "couldn't leave vmail...i'll call u later." Wait two days and call, no answer. She calls back and I miss it in the shower. Try to call back 30 min later, no answer.

Tried calling a week later on a Tuesday, no answer.

Normally I wouldn't care at all and just delete it and move on. But at a theatre 4 days after that last call attempt by me, I am at an improv show by myself and see her across the room meeting up with a girlfriend. We exchange eye contact for a split second, one of those "is that actually her/him?" type glances. Then I don't look back at her and just enjoy the show. I'm currently getting it in with a few others so I didn't sweat it at all.

After the show, she gets out before me and sitting on a bench by herself with her back sort of angled away from the aisle that everyone walks out to leave the theatre. I got that feeling that it was like she wanted me to approach her and chat her up. Probably due to my ego defense mechanism, I decided to text back another girl I had plans with later and walked right past her. Didn't speak. In my mind I didn't want to give her the validation of going up and talking to her after she had basically shut my game down and ignored my attempts to contact her on the phone.

Honestly, the reality of the situation is this: I'm 5'4", she's probably 5'6" or so. Maybe I didn't get out front enough with the negs in those first few weeks that we were in class. Maybe our conversations got too friendly throughout those weeks, even though in that last class we had some prolonged eye contact. She's also 23, in her prime, in LA of all places so there's no doubt she's inclined to be flaky.

[Focus: Did I handle this situation effectively? In your experience, what have you done in a similar situation? What are your experiences like with girls in their prime (18-24) that show some interest then pull back?]

[sir_seducer]

Rule # 1...don't talk on FB with girls you want to bang. ...

and if you knew she wanted you to approach her then why u didnt??

you are completely mixing all the game...you need to learn the game from the begining before you approach.

[Urban Renaissance Man]

(06-04-2011 11:21 PM)arkanBrah Wrote:  

I've had an interesting, yet somewhat common occurance happen to me and I know that there are others that this has happened to as well. I'm hoping some of you seasoned hustlers can chime in on how you handle a similar situation when it happens...

I recently ran into a girl at an improv show (I'm in LA btw) that screened my calls and ignored 2 texts that I sent.

A little backstory...I met this girl in an 8 week class where we would always chat and I knew there was a bit of attraction and slight tension (we're both from the south). She's 23, legit 8 (slight onset of cankles may prevent her from going higher) and I get the impression from her facebook pictures that she does occasionally hit the clubs in the Hollywood area (uhhhhhoohhhhh). All signs point to a little slutty...which is fine because, why wouldn't I want to fuck a 23 year old in her prime?

My plan was to get this girls number during one of the last classes for two reasons: 1) in the case that she wasn't into me I didn't want any extreme awkwardness in class because I had showed interest and she didn't reciprocate, and 2) I was in a relationship 6 weeks into the classes (I don't cheat). But I missed the opportunity to get it in person because I was busy the 7th week and she didn't show up the last. So, I thought "what the hell, probably won't see her again anyway" and spit some e-game:

Facebook:

Me: subject line: are all nashville girls...
too cool for the last day of class? or just you?

Her: Haha well... I can't speak for any other Nashvillians other then myself (although we arre pretty cool) but yeah I was sooo bummed I missed the last day of class! I got really sick with a kidney infection last week it was not fun! [Her birthday was the night before the last class and I saw on facebook where she went out, but regardless, I don't care if she's telling the truth or not.] How was it? I'm gonna miss our class!

Me: umm..ouch bad stuff. im outta town for a few days but when im back let's get together. whats your #. oh yea u missed initiation into [teacher's name] super secret commercial club...maybe I'll show u the handshake if ur lucky

Her: I can't believe I missed out on a handshake! I can't live my life not knowing the handshake. My number is xxx-xxx-xxxx

So once I got back in town 1.5 weeks after this exchange, I call. No answer (Sunday). Send a text saying "couldn't leave vmail...i'll call u later." Wait two days and call, no answer. She calls back and I miss it in the shower. Try to call back 30 min later, no answer.

Tried calling a week later on a Tuesday, no answer.

Normally I wouldn't care at all and just delete it and move on. But at a theatre 4 days after that last call attempt by me, I am at an improv show by myself and see her across the room meeting up with a girlfriend. We exchange eye contact for a split second, one of those "is that actually her/him?" type glances. Then I don't look back at her and just enjoy the show. I'm currently getting it in with a few others so I didn't sweat it at all.

After the show, she gets out before me and sitting on a bench by herself with her back sort of angled away from the aisle that everyone walks out to leave the theatre. I got that feeling that it was like she wanted me to approach her and chat her up. Probably due to my ego defense mechanism, I decided to text back another girl I had plans with later and walked right past her. Didn't speak. In my mind I didn't want to give her the validation of going up and talking to her after she had basically shut my game down and ignored my attempts to contact her on the phone.

Honestly, the reality of the situation is this: I'm 5'4", she's probably 5'6" or so. Maybe I didn't get out front enough with the negs in those first few weeks that we were in class. Maybe our conversations got too friendly throughout those weeks, even though in that last class we had some prolonged eye contact. She's also 23, in her prime, in LA of all places so there's no doubt she's inclined to be flaky.

[Focus: Did I handle this situation effectively? In your experience, what have you done in a similar situation? What are your experiences like with girls in their prime (18-24) that show some interest then pull back?]

I understand you not wanting to seem needy and all, but in the beginning a guy has to put himself out there a little. Going a week without calling after you missed her call was a bit extreme. Yes, I know you called back and she didn't answer, but she did make the attempt, and you're already aware she's somewhat flakey. I totally don't understand why you didn't speak to her at the comedy club. You're taking the 'save face' thing too far. You're coming across scorned rather than indifferent. I'm under the impression you were trying to make her a booty call, not a wife, so the need to 'put her in her place' and all of that isn't as pressing. I'm also not sure why you brought up the height thing.

[thegmanifesto]

"and spit some e-game"

Yeah, I think the "e-game" was the airball of the situation.

You needed to hook her harder in real life.

I am not an advocate of Internet Game, although some younger cats on here like it.

I could see maybe using it to keep in touch or hone down on plans, but as far as initial stuff, you have no control.

[Gmac]

You either go for it or you don't. I see quite a few missed opportunities here. I agree with G though, and using facebook lumps you in with all of her beta orbiters.

Stick to real life for girls you meet in real life.

[arkanBrah]

lol...I think there was a bit lost in translation here, although I do appreciate the feedback. Should have been more clear and less wordy in my initial post to say: this is not how I run game all of the time. It's just an instance where, admittedly, I didn't handle it with the panaché I normally do - a brainfart moment.

Facebook is not, nor has ever been, my primary mode of trying to get girls out. And yes, just trying to holler at a girl on there can lump you in pretty quickly with the rest of the crowd. However I have had success (that lead to bangs) with girls who I had some rap with and I didn't get a chance to grab her number for some logistical reason, only to get it there and the girl admitting she was glad I kept the connection going.

lol....but thanks guys.

[Urban Renaissance Man]

(06-07-2011 04:31 PM)arkanBrah Wrote:  

lol...I think there was a bit lost in translation here, although I do appreciate the feedback. Should have been more clear and less wordy in my initial post to say: this is not how I run game all of the time. It's just an instance where, admittedly, I didn't handle it with the panaché I normally do - a brainfart moment.

Facebook is not, nor has ever been, my primary mode of trying to get girls out. And yes, just trying to holler at a girl on there can lump you in pretty quickly with the rest of the crowd. However I have had success (that lead to bangs) with girls who I had some rap with and I didn't get a chance to grab her number for some logistical reason, only to get it there and the girl admitting she was glad I kept the connection going.

lol....but thanks guys.

I wasn't slamming your decision to use Facebook. I was mainly mentioning the fact that you, in an effort to save face, let some key situations pass where you should've spoken to her.

[arkanBrah]

(06-07-2011 05:18 PM)Urban Renaissance Man Wrote:  

(06-07-2011 04:31 PM)arkanBrah Wrote:  

lol...I think there was a bit lost in translation here, although I do appreciate the feedback. Should have been more clear and less wordy in my initial post to say: this is not how I run game all of the time. It's just an instance where, admittedly, I didn't handle it with the panaché I normally do - a brainfart moment.

Facebook is not, nor has ever been, my primary mode of trying to get girls out. And yes, just trying to holler at a girl on there can lump you in pretty quickly with the rest of the crowd. However I have had success (that lead to bangs) with girls who I had some rap with and I didn't get a chance to grab her number for some logistical reason, only to get it there and the girl admitting she was glad I kept the connection going.

lol....but thanks guys.

I wasn't slamming your decision to use Facebook. I was mainly mentioning the fact that you, in an effort to save face, let some key situations pass where you should've spoken to her.

...And I didn't mean to come across as a snark in my last post. You're right and I appreciate the input.

[Gmac]

(06-07-2011 04:31 PM)arkanBrah Wrote:  

lol...I think there was a bit lost in translation here, although I do appreciate the feedback. Should have been more clear and less wordy in my initial post to say: this is not how I run game all of the time. It's just an instance where, admittedly, I didn't handle it with the panaché I normally do - a brainfart moment.

Facebook is not, nor has ever been, my primary mode of trying to get girls out. And yes, just trying to holler at a girl on there can lump you in pretty quickly with the rest of the crowd. However I have had success (that lead to bangs) with girls who I had some rap with and I didn't get a chance to grab her number for some logistical reason, only to get it there and the girl admitting she was glad I kept the connection going.

lol....but thanks guys.

There's nothing lost in the translation. Don't take this the wrong way, I just want to point out a few mistakes.

Let's look at what happened:

Quote:

My plan was to get this girls number during one of the last classes

Missed opportunity #1 - You waited until the end of the semester because you were afraid of the consequences.

Quote:

I call. No answer (Sunday). Send a text saying "couldn't leave vmail...i'll call u later." Wait two days and call, no answer. She calls back and I miss it in the shower. Try to call back 30 min later, no answer.

Missed opportunity #2 - "Ill call you later." Then, you wait two days, why?

Quote:

I decided to text back another girl I had plans with later and walked right past her. Didn't speak. In my mind I didn't want to give her the validation of going up and talking to her after she had basically shut my game down and ignored my attempts to contact her on the phone.

Missed opportunity #3 - You had a perfect shot at reigniting something with the girl and you chose not to.

It bothered you enough to come here and post about it.

Lesson learned?

[arkanBrah]

I'm not taking it the wrong way, bro. I wouldn't have posted if I didn't want to learn something and have no problem admitting that I fucked up this. It's almost like a case study...

Quote:

Missed opportunity #1 - You waited until the end of the semester because you were afraid of the consequences.

Not afraid. I just knew better than to dive head first without checking to see how deep the water was. I was treating it like a social circle situation (most of the people were cool and some of us hung out outside of class). At the time (and this is where the opportunity was missed) I thought it would be fine to wait a bit and try to hang out with just the two of us, because she was giving me some lukewarm attraction but also not just throwing herself at me yet. I obviously missed the window at some point. My question is: When would you have escalated this situation?

Quote:

Missed opportunity #2 - "Ill call you later." Then, you wait two days, why?

Trying to get it in with ex gf. We had broken up 2.5 weeks before and she texted me earlier that afternoon.

Quote:

Missed opportunity #3 - You had a perfect shot at reigniting something with the girl and you chose not to.

No doubt. Should have taken a risk here and opened my mouth. What would you have said? How would you have handled it?

[tongue-splitter]

My honest opinion of your story here is that you are still trying to shield your ego rather than maximize your opportunities.

You wait to get the number and rationalize it as "social circle game" (it wasn't)

You try to soften the discomfort of putting yourself out there by taking the interaction to FB

You "didn't want to give her the validation" because she hadn't responded or whatever. Yet who cares, after all, it's not really that validating to her for you to try one last ditch effort that could result in your balls thwacking against her buttcheeks

Just from my point of view, you're overthinking just about everything in order to protect your ego and avoid rejection. I would say in the future, just strike while the iron is hot and let the consequences be damned. I realize it's easier said than done, but after a lot of life experience, I would say the #1 most important tenet of game is striving to be ego-less.