[Sweeterman]

Hello everyone, I'm about to hit the sheets but there's one thing that's become extremely apparent to me and I'd like to wake up to some feedback on it.

Certain times, I'm a spot-on master in social situations. I can hold people's attention, make them crack up with laughter, tell the most detailed stories, and completely dominate the interactive process of talking to women. It's almost as if my mind is lubricated in these situations as everything simply flows. I feel no anxiety, no pressure, nothing negative whatsoever. When I'm in my zone I am IN my ZONE (people around me actually stop what they're doing to listen to me speak) and only falling asleep can take me out of it.

However, there are times when all that is flipped on its head. I'll be nervous walking past a sexy woman, my thoughts are forced and sporadic and my mind will just feel a bit clogged up in general. It is entirely uncharacteristic of me, knowing what I'm capable of and having pulled off what I've pulled off.. I simply do not understand why I'm on 100 sometimes and the next day I'm on 0.

I have no lack of notches, and everything I do has been learned from mentors and cold, hard experience. The mindsets and beliefs I've developed (which allowed me the high degree of social success I've achieved) should be with me all of the time right? I'm confused as to why it feels so fleeting sometimes.

When I'm out of my zone I can't even text women in an attractive manner, and I usually end up avoiding replying to them altogether until I'm back in it.

I understand that everyone has ups and downs, but my ups are extremely 'up' and my downs are extremely 'down'.

Can anyone else relate to this? I haven't met anyone in my travels who shares this problem and I would hate to think it's unique to me. Oh and sorry if I haven't explained myself very well lol, I'm forcing myself not to nod off at the moment

[firstofthemonth]

Do you have trouble with depression? Are you depressed when you are off?
I know I have times where I can't make anything happen and other times where I am in the zone where I am impressing myself. I haven't figured it out.

[Kieran]

This is completely normal. I have nights where I can do no wrong, nights where everything just feels off and I can barely get a conversation going, and nights that are in-between. Best thing I've found to do is to follow the old school 3 second rule as it doesn't give you time to think, and keep the time between interactions as short as possible. This will often work to get you into that zone you're talking about after several approaches - only problem is that when I'm having an off night, I don't really feel like following those rules.

[WestIndianArchie]

Back when I was getting my feet wet, I focused on Night Game, Dance Club, Cold approach.

To defeat approach anxiety, I needed to get into "state".
State is the first step into getting into the "zone".

The Zone is desirable primarily because you no longer have to think.
Not thinking is desirable because Man is Lazy. He just wants to results without any conscious effort. Anything but the grind.

Harkening back to a thread of mine on "advanced game, does it exist"...there's a lot of pats on the back for the concept of

"unconscious competence" - which is sort of middle ground between being in "state" and being in the "zone". You no longer consciously think about your actions when it comes approaches - it's no longer "calculating" and scheming - which is how game is for a lot of guys at the beginning.

It's not the zone, because you need that internal "joy" and external results. Without the results, it's rarely the "zone".

You can be flowing straight from the survival scrolls, entirely on reaction, best shit ever - but unless you're happy with it and getting chicks - you're not in the zone.

To get back to it,

I needed a good song to get into state. Diwali Riddim was the shit at the time, but not every dj is gonna play a dancehall set.

At some spots the fucking dj playing to the lowest common denominator would always play some Eminem or DMX. Most chicks have horrible taste, even with pop music, and a lot of dj's would just feed into that crap. Oh and the chodes and sharks would go crazy for other jock jams shit.

So i'd play the sidelines, having low tempo conversations with folks nearby, keeping my eye on the floor and some targets for when MY SONG WOULD COME ON.

Play some Jay or some Michael Jackson, something legit, and it was all over. Talk to anybody, high on music.

I've aged out of the dance floor game. It's my plan D at this point.

Dance floor game is great, waiting for a song, an external switch, so that I could be instantly "on" was wack.

That's just as bad as guys that
- wait to be approached
- wait for eye contact
- wait for proximity violations
- need liquid courage

All those things are weak game because they are primarily external and reaction based. If a girl doesn't do those things, or what you need to get into the game isn't available, you're one of the useless guys taking up space.

An amateur waits for inspiration.
An amateur has to spend a lot of time stretching and warming up.
An amateur can't deal with the negative self talk, those voices in his head that say wait, or don't.

An amateur waits for the zone.

Stephen King —

'Amateurs sit and wait for inspiration, the rest of us just get up and go to work.'

That's your problem. It was my problem too.

I wanted that internal high to happen before I'd run game.

Your problem is slightly different, you're looking for the zone, and w/o it you're falling apart and not getting your "consistent" results.

They're the same problem, because they're marks of amateurs. Guys who want shit to be EASY.

You achieve greatness either by putting in the time and effort, or by thinking hard and hitting the right spots. You don't get to slack off.

You want to be a professional.

You're there doing your thing no matter what, including what's going on in your mind.

The "zone", "state", "inspiration" - none of that holds you back from doing your job.

Rain, sleet, or snow, you're gonna deliver

WIA

(07-13-2015 01:28 AM)Sweeterman Wrote:  

Hello everyone, I'm about to hit the sheets but there's one thing that's become extremely apparent to me and I'd like to wake up to some feedback on it.

Certain times, I'm a spot-on master in social situations. I can hold people's attention, make them crack up with laughter, tell the most detailed stories, and completely dominate the interactive process of talking to women. It's almost as if my mind is lubricated in these situations as everything simply flows. I feel no anxiety, no pressure, nothing negative whatsoever. When I'm in my zone I am IN my ZONE (people around me actually stop what they're doing to listen to me speak) and only falling asleep can take me out of it.

However, there are times when all that is flipped on its head. I'll be nervous walking past a sexy woman, my thoughts are forced and sporadic and my mind will just feel a bit clogged up in general. It is entirely uncharacteristic of me, knowing what I'm capable of and having pulled off what I've pulled off.. I simply do not understand why I'm on 100 sometimes and the next day I'm on 0.

I have no lack of notches, and everything I do has been learned from mentors and cold, hard experience. The mindsets and beliefs I've developed (which allowed me the high degree of social success I've achieved) should be with me all of the time right? I'm confused as to why it feels so fleeting sometimes.

When I'm out of my zone I can't even text women in an attractive manner, and I usually end up avoiding replying to them altogether until I'm back in it.

I understand that everyone has ups and downs, but my ups are extremely 'up' and my downs are extremely 'down'.

Can anyone else relate to this? I haven't met anyone in my travels who shares this problem and I would hate to think it's unique to me. Oh and sorry if I haven't explained myself very well lol, I'm forcing myself not to nod off at the moment

[Lothario]

^^^

[realologist]

I was going to say something but after WIA post I have absolutely nothing to add. Top notch post.

[TheMaleBrain]

Dude
You could be experiencing Bi-Polar. You are sometime MANIC and sometime depressing .

See a doctor.

Another option is that you have high intensity feelings. Meaning that you judje your situation in a biased way.
When you are young - it seems like black and white. Try to get perspective from friends who know you. If they describe you differently, than you may have that on your hands.

[Sweeterman]

Hey WIA - I was also raised in the West Indies (currently living between here and Europe), glad to see I'm not the only one on here - thanks for the post!

I'm sure a lot of beginning gamers could take away a great bit from what you've said. The part about unconscious competence is some really great stuff.

However, I don't think I explained myself properly in my original post. I was never using only any branded or named type of "game", I thrust myself into extremely uncomfortable positions from day one.

As such I am in this state of unconscious competence a good majority of the time. I learned very quickly that planning and scheming will do nothing but make you anxious as hell. My problem is *not* waiting for inspiration or being a general amateur, I can assure you of that a million times over. I do not WANT to be a professional, I've been into game heavily for almost 5 years now and I am beyond capable of stepping up to and beyond the plate in any reasonable situation. I would consider myself to be in the top .01% of men when it comes to game.

I do think that others who've posted here came a bit closer to the mark in suggesting depression or manic-depressive disorder. The issue I'm having, which I did a terrible job explaining last night, is not a physical or mental one. I'm not talking myself out of it or waiting to feel like I'm in the right 'state' or 'zone' to talk to girls.

The issue is that sometimes I just feel like someone's dropped a weight on my brain. The logical and interactive connections I would normally make when dealing with women simply do not happen. Normally I would have a general framework in my mind (be silly for x amount of time, be serious for x amount of time, be a man and make it happen asap) and my internal compass works absolute magic at knowing when to switch it up or tweak certain things based on how the girl is responding.

On a bad day that compass has been more or less smashed, and I feel more like I'm just going through motions. I'm quicker to get annoyed or to give up and just come back home and do other things.

In essence WIA, what I'm trying to say is that I'm not waiting for an internal high because I'm completely happy with not only running game from, but just existing in my baseline state. What I want to know is why the lows are so drastic, and why they make me feel and act like I'm a genuinely different person.

Thanks again