[jbird669]

Met a girl on OKC, got her digits and had a great first date of drinks. Spent the night at her place. She knows I have kids and that I had them all weekend. The next day she text me talking about the night. Went back and forth a bit (all her starting, she send 2-3 before I'd respond), but stopped around closing time.

Got back to her the next day with logistics, which she is amenable for (though she has yet to respond confirming the place, but she is good with the time and date).

I have two questions:

Do we have an expectation of text frequency FROM girls if they are into us, and I am thinking it might be flake time, and this next date will be a no-show. Thoughts?

And yes, I did do a search but didn't find anything.

[OregonToSoCal]

(06-22-2015 09:47 AM)jbird669 Wrote:  

Met a girl on OKC, got her digits and had a great first date of drinks. Spent the night at her place. She knows I have kids and that I had them all weekend. The next day she text me talking about the night. Went back and forth a bit (all her starting, she send 2-3 before I'd respond), but stopped around closing time.

Got back to her the next day with logistics, which she is amenable for (though she has yet to respond confirming the place, but she is good with the time and date).

I have two questions:

Do we have an expectation of text frequency FROM girls if they are into us, and I am thinking it might be flake time, and this next date will be a no-show. Thoughts?

And yes, I did do a search but didn't find anything.

If at all possible you want to keep texting limited between your dates. Ideally restrict it to logistics only but it's realistic to expect that women want a little bit of comfort texting "how was your day etc." For me the rule of thumb is if a woman reaches out to me through text after a date it's her indirectly saying she wants to see me again. With that, I'll go back and forth with her a couple of times and then find out when she's free to get together again. Once firm plans have been set I'll say something like "Looking forward to seeing you on xyz, gotta get back to work now" or something similar implying that you need to go and can't sit around texting her all day.

[jbird669]

Okay cool. So far so good. I'll need to make sure she's good with the place but other than that, I'll let it ride. Thanks.

[Dalaran1991]

In your case: did you bang the girl? You said you spent the night at her place. For simplicity' sake on this forum you should just say I banged her and stayed the night.

Usually (not always) having banged the girl results in less flaking and steadier communication.

In general:

This seems to be a contested topic in the manoshere. On one hand you have MVP who says bitches wont leave you one minute alone if they are into you, and bitches be crazy getting attached and freak out if you dont answer their text within a min.

On the other hand there are many of us who have learned the hard way that as men we must always lead and guide the interaction forward because most women simply don’t initiate or show affection even if they are really into you. Im even starting to think women don’t know how. After all they are meant to be on the receiving end, in sex as well as during flirting.

I was once in a LTR where the girl was super attached to me but very emotionally immature. She got sick and didn’t know how to tell me and I was busy, so when I asked her how’s she doing she got mad at me…

A girl I banged was super bitchy and cold to me at first, I thought about ejecting. She told me post bang that she wanted to rip my clothes off since the start but she was intimidated.

So it will really depend on the girl, you and the setting. I would say culture play a role too.

[MrXY]

What do you mean by "Spent the night at her place"? Did you bang her or not?

[jbird669]

Please excuse me gents. Yes, I did bang. I wouldn't stay if I didn't bang.

[iceman111011]

a similar thing happened with me recently...I had been text chatting this girl for 2-3 weeks..it was due to logistics we couldn't meet. And when the time arrived we ended hooking up on the first date. It didn't bang her due to logistics issue that night. we text back and forth for a while and a week later I don't hear from her again. I got flaked I wasn't really sure what the hell really happened with this one.
I have also noticed that these days I go out on first dates I end up kissing them by the end of the night but...it doesn't materializes into bang. Can anyone help how I should approach it? Also if you are meeting a girl for the second time after hooking up on the first date..how different should the second date be? so that it ends up in something more meaningful
thanks in advance

[Saweeep]

(06-22-2015 10:22 AM)iceman111011 Wrote:  

a similar thing happened with me recently...I had been text chatting this girl for 2-3 weeks..it was due to logistics we couldn't meet. And when the time arrived we ended hooking up on the first date. It didn't bang her due to logistics issue that night. we text back and forth for a while and a week later I don't hear from her again. I got flaked I wasn't really sure what the hell really happened with this one.
I have also noticed that these days I go out on first dates I end up kissing them by the end of the night but...it doesn't materializes into bang. Can anyone help how I should approach it? Also if you are meeting a girl for the second time after hooking up on the first date..how different should the second date be? so that it ends up in something more meaningful
thanks in advance

I don't mean to be rude but why don't you try by reading the forum?

These topics have been covered a million times.

[iceman111011]

thanks for the help man!

[MrXY]

(06-22-2015 10:03 AM)jbird669 Wrote:  

Please excuse me gents. Yes, I did bang. I wouldn't stay if I didn't bang.

Then you have the upper hand now.

You said you have had text exchanges with her since then about another date, so what is your concern-that she hasn't texted you back for a half a day?

I've banged and rebanged girls that I didn't hear from for days or even several weeks. If she wants some more dick she will make it happen.

The real issue here isn't texting technique, it's your Inner Game. You are already emotionally invested in this girl and worrying she's going to reject you. That shows a scarcity mentality. Go out and get more girls in your rotation and this problem will magically disappear. You've already banged her, so you've already won the game. Relax.

If you do have a the problem of girls often not wanting to bang you again after the first time, then work on your sex technique.

[Saweeep]

(06-22-2015 11:07 AM)iceman111011 Wrote:  

thanks for the help man!

I promise you it's nothing personal.

It just pisses me off how people join here and ask the same bloody questions, over and over again.

How about people read and digest then ask questions, having at least invested some time in the process before asking others to take their time to reply instead?

I just think it's rude.

Why is the time of those with the knowledge you seek less important than your own?

[jbird669]

(06-22-2015 11:09 AM)MrXY Wrote:  

(06-22-2015 10:03 AM)jbird669 Wrote:  

Please excuse me gents. Yes, I did bang. I wouldn't stay if I didn't bang.

I've banged and rebanged girls that I didn't hear from for days or even several weeks. If she wants some more dick she will make it happen.

The real issue here isn't texting technique, it's your Inner Game. You are already emotionally invested in this girl and worrying she's going to reject you. That shows a scarcity mentality. Go out and get more girls in your rotation and this problem will magically disappear. You've already banged her, so you've already won the game. Relax.

I have two girls in my rotation now and both of them are text addicts. This one isn't, which is rare for a female, so I wanted to see what was up. I've never encountered this before.

[Saweeep]

The only problem with text addict girls is that the sheer volume increases the likelihood of you fucking it up somehow in a set time frame if your text game isn't super tight. It's easy to get complacent when firing off multiple texts per minute. One slip and the friend zone or never seeing her again is possible.

It helps if you've already fucked but that's not a reason to get complacent either.

Just reply as and when you like...give them the attention then take it away. Rinse and repeat.

[MrXY]

Don't let girls suck you into their attention whoring texting. You're a man you have better things to do, not one of their girlfriends. Stop responding so much, and train them to not expect frequent texting with you-that is never to your advantage.

[jbird669]

She's flaking. I got a text this morning: "Hey I can't meet up this week. Some other stuff came up". Live and learn.