Perfection right here. I did not write this:
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Chad was not impressed with online dating.
Women get flooded with messages from average losers, and he didn't want to be lumped into the sea of morass, the beta bitches who desperately need online dating. Still, Chad is so busy closing deals and shitting all over his competitors in his day job. He wanted a new and efficient way to get laid.
Looking through the profiles on Plenty of Sluts Fish, he saw the typical bullshit women spew out of their cake holes:
Don't be a jerk.
No shirtless mirror selfies.
Be a gentleman.
Don't message me about sex!
"Got it," he thought aloud. "There's my playbook."
The piracetam and phenibut already popping off in his brain, testosterone surging from the massive workout he just blasted through. Time to set up his kick-ass profile. Abs are catnip for women. He loaded his best shirtless mirror selfie as his profile picture. Check.
"Now my intro," he mused. "I need to weed out the chicks who are afraid of sex. I don't have time to convince."
About me:
Dominant, highly-driven, successful man that wants to pin you against the wall... tonight. Seeking a petite, athletic girl who knows how to use her hips in all the right ways.
Let's skip the B.S. Online dating is mostly a waste of time. You'll text me for days, excited to meet me, and then get scared at the last minute.
Do me a favor, and don't write back unless you're ready to call me daddy.
Phase two - reaching out. He considered messaging about taking them out and treating them like a princess. His old beta bitch self wanted to acknowledge their beauty. He quickly squashed that thought. Instead, he copy & pasted this message to thirty hot women:
Are you tied up tonight? If not, there's something I want to tie you up with.
The next morning, 10 women had responded. Most wrote back the typical bullshit:
How dare you! That's no way to write to a woman. I'm not interested only in sex...
He knew the truth. Focus on their actions, not their words. If they wrote back, they were interested - they just weren't going to admit it. Even the most sexually charged girls need to play the game.
He continued to push each girls' buttons, writing back without so much as a hint of being the "nice guy". He ignored their questions and went for the kill every time.
"Let's meet this week so we can see how loud you can moan."
Cathy was initially acting like Chad had just murdered her favorite puppy, equal parts angry and defiant. He read between the lines. Ten messages later, she agreed to join him in the hot tub tonight. Remember to leave your swimsuit at home. It will be coming off anyway.
She hesitated writing back for a few minutes. Then she wrote "We'll see..."
Checkmate.
We will definitely see, Cathy. Count on it.
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Chad was not impressed with online dating.
Women get flooded with messages from average losers, and he didn't want to be lumped into the sea of morass, the beta bitches who desperately need online dating. Still, Chad is so busy closing deals and shitting all over his competitors in his day job. He wanted a new and efficient way to get laid.
Looking through the profiles on Plenty of Sluts Fish, he saw the typical bullshit women spew out of their cake holes:
Don't be a jerk.
No shirtless mirror selfies.
Be a gentleman.
Don't message me about sex!
"Got it," he thought aloud. "There's my playbook."
The piracetam and phenibut already popping off in his brain, testosterone surging from the massive workout he just blasted through. Time to set up his kick-ass profile. Abs are catnip for women. He loaded his best shirtless mirror selfie as his profile picture. Check.
"Now my intro," he mused. "I need to weed out the chicks who are afraid of sex. I don't have time to convince."
About me:
Dominant, highly-driven, successful man that wants to pin you against the wall... tonight. Seeking a petite, athletic girl who knows how to use her hips in all the right ways.
Let's skip the B.S. Online dating is mostly a waste of time. You'll text me for days, excited to meet me, and then get scared at the last minute.
Do me a favor, and don't write back unless you're ready to call me daddy.
Phase two - reaching out. He considered messaging about taking them out and treating them like a princess. His old beta bitch self wanted to acknowledge their beauty. He quickly squashed that thought. Instead, he copy & pasted this message to thirty hot women:
Are you tied up tonight? If not, there's something I want to tie you up with.
The next morning, 10 women had responded. Most wrote back the typical bullshit:
How dare you! That's no way to write to a woman. I'm not interested only in sex...
He knew the truth. Focus on their actions, not their words. If they wrote back, they were interested - they just weren't going to admit it. Even the most sexually charged girls need to play the game.
He continued to push each girls' buttons, writing back without so much as a hint of being the "nice guy". He ignored their questions and went for the kill every time.
"Let's meet this week so we can see how loud you can moan."
Cathy was initially acting like Chad had just murdered her favorite puppy, equal parts angry and defiant. He read between the lines. Ten messages later, she agreed to join him in the hot tub tonight. Remember to leave your swimsuit at home. It will be coming off anyway.
She hesitated writing back for a few minutes. Then she wrote "We'll see..."
Checkmate.
We will definitely see, Cathy. Count on it.
