Concerns over reconnecting with an old flame + thoughts leaking into your frame
05-31-2015, 05:15 PM
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Quote: (05-31-2015 06:42 PM)Gmac Wrote:
This is about honing your "inner game" and controlling your emotions. You need to stop thinking of this girl as anything but another girl in your pipeline / rotation. Whenever you catch yourself thinking those thoughts you don't want, let your inner asshole shut it down. Hard to explain, but when I find myself in that situation I tell myself to "kill it." You can train yourself to cut off the emotion at will with practice. If not, cut her loose.
Quote:Quote:
They say people fall in love in each other's absence.
Absence makes the heart grow stronger or whatever.
You have already pedestalized her. Get her off the pedestal.
She proposed a meetup. She obviously seems keen. Let her game you and be the main investor, the more you invest, the more you 'fall in love' (either with her or the fantasy surrounding 'it').
This is one of the situations where you let her 'dictate' the pace and you play the yes/no game i.e. chick game.
Generally I suggest against these type of 'comeback' narratives. Especially if you're saying stuff like "On the other hand I don't, because I don't want to end up falling for her. I guess what I am saying is do I want to risk a relationship? It's time and its money and all that. I don't know if I'm ready to bring about heavy feelings for a chick again and take myself out of the game."
One step at a time and stop future adventure projecting the outcome in womanese.
Deal with the facts and reality of what is going on right now, not the leftover emotions you kept inside of you from before.
P.S. If she is Cypriot (even BBC), she is super high maintenance but hey, you know her better than I do.
Quote: (05-31-2015 06:42 PM)Gmac Wrote:
This is about honing your "inner game" and controlling your emotions. You need to stop thinking of this girl as anything but another girl in your pipeline / rotation. Whenever you catch yourself thinking those thoughts you don't want, let your inner asshole shut it down. Hard to explain, but when I find myself in that situation I tell myself to "kill it." You can train yourself to cut off the emotion at will with practice. If not, cut her loose.
Quote: (06-02-2015 08:49 AM)Blackwell Wrote:
Quote:Quote:
They say people fall in love in each other's absence.
Absence makes the heart grow stronger or whatever.
You have already pedestalized her. Get her off the pedestal.
She proposed a meetup. She obviously seems keen. Let her game you and be the main investor, the more you invest, the more you 'fall in love' (either with her or the fantasy surrounding 'it').
This is one of the situations where you let her 'dictate' the pace and you play the yes/no game i.e. chick game.
Generally I suggest against these type of 'comeback' narratives. Especially if you're saying stuff like "On the other hand I don't, because I don't want to end up falling for her. I guess what I am saying is do I want to risk a relationship? It's time and its money and all that. I don't know if I'm ready to bring about heavy feelings for a chick again and take myself out of the game."
One step at a time and stop future adventure projecting the outcome in womanese.
Deal with the facts and reality of what is going on right now, not the leftover emotions you kept inside of you from before.
P.S. If she is Cypriot (even BBC), she is super high maintenance but hey, you know her better than I do.
This is exactly what I needed to hear.
I've cooled on it a little just to try alter the dynamic like you said. We skyped the other night and I could feel myself catching feels already. We just click so well on a lot of stuff and she is do damn hot. But yeah I cooled and didn't message her at all yesterday or today. I need to get her to invest in me first or I'lI end up falling over for her and wrecking my frame in the process.
I'm going to be in her area in a couple weeks time so we've made vague plans to do something when I'm around. We'll see how it goes.
I set up two Tinder dates last night for tomorrow and Friday just to try and get into the game and push the Cypriot chick to the back of my mind.
Yeah she is a bit high maintenance haha, in my head I'm going 'But she's worth it'...
Oh man what is happening to me!?
I gotta chill. Fuck.
Appreciate the advice, I'd rep you again if I could that really was what I needed to hear. Thanks player.