[TrueSlyr]

Think back to that one girl you couldn't get rid of because you felt so attached to her, despite how many times she has wronged you.

did you ever cut her off? How did you do it? I just cant with this one girl...

She's not a oneitits, but you care for her. You've also treated her like shit at times too, and likewise, she has done the same to you. How do you just remove her from your life?

I cut her off for 2 months before but eventually I went back to her because she was constantly on my mind during that period

[WestIndianArchie]

I'm not superman, but that sort of thing ended when I chose this life. (or when this life chose me?). I still think about old flames from time to time. Chicks that did me wrong, Chicks I did wrong. What might have been, had both of us made different decisions. But I don't let those thoughts consume me.

Them people want to say "emotionally unavailable", I like to think that once you become versed in the game, you become emotionally invulnerable to being manipulated.

I want to be happy. And wanting to be happy is not a bad thing. I shouldn't have to be the one to sacrifice. I don't even compromise nowadays.

If you've ever had the displeasure of calling a girl on her manipulation, that she's crying in order to force you to do something, you just have a different view of human behavior. She'll be nice when she wants something. She'll dress sexy for attention. She'll dress shabby cause she feels bad. She'll cry, she'll nag. She'll make you do things that she can easily do for herself, but it's just easier IF YOU DO IT. (Easier for who?)

You start to see her for who she is, but you also see your customers and clients for who they are. Trying to get something for free. Your "friends" who only call you when they need help. Your boss who wants you to think of the workplace as a family. (A family doesn't disown a member when the budget gets tight. Junior you got a B- in geometry, you're out of the clan)

It's all connected.

When you plug yourself out of the matrix, you see the manipulation for what it is. You lose some of the romance, but in exchange you get control over your life in a meaningful way.

I always recognized the bastards who would say, "I'm sorry that you feel that way". That's a fake apology, a non-apology. And I hated those people.

But now, I've become one of those people.

That's why game is so powerful.

WIA

[el mechanico]

Well I guess it would depend on your tolerance for bullshit. Mine is at 1 or 2 but was at 0 for many years. In my house it's always 0.

What do you do you ask?

Launch thier asses off the porch like guided missle heading to the street.

They will be coming back even if you don't want them.

[Nightwing]

It's normal for you to have residue feelings that can reinitialize a spark of fervor for that particular woman. They say that if you can cut off a person immediately, it means you have sociopathic tendencies. I don't believe that, but I do believe that time gives us the possibility to let go of the past.

Sometimes it's as easy as snapping your fingers, and you can forget about that person. Though, you have lots of emotional baggage associated to her, which will cloud your mind with her memory for months to come.

The easiest way to avoid reigniting those feelings is to have a huge gap of distance between the both you, it will also act as an artificial barrier of time/ stand-in for the lack of time that has passed.

There's probably other ways, like blocking her on facebook, twitter, sms, e-mail, deleting her pictures...

Also, try a new activity to get your mind off of her.

[XPQ21]

It's never been easy for me either, but it always amazed me how easily women I had deep feelings for and had either been in a relationship with or known for a significant amount of time were able to do it to me when there was a new gentleman waiting in the wings. And I don't think it was because I necessarily became an "asshole" or a bad person, even in their rationalization. I think they were, and are, just wired that way; in a perverse sort of sense it's "not personal."

[Nightwing]

(05-24-2015 09:42 PM)XPQ21 Wrote:  

It's never been easy for me either, but it always amazed me how easily women I had deep feelings for and had either been in a relationship with or known for a significant amount of time were able to do it to me when there was a new gentleman waiting in the wings. And I don't think it was because I necessarily became an "asshole" or a bad person, even in their rationalization. I think they were, and are, just wired that way; in a perverse sort of sense it's "not personal."

If you have anyone to blame, blame their lizard brains, and the media that brainwashes them, that 'leads' them, it can't be helped that they are easily influenced by these things because that is their hardwiring, their programming.


You have the advantage of this knowledge, of being 'awake', it's up to you to use this power responsibly. BUT FIRST! EXPLORE: there's many quality girls to be found around the world.

You aren't alone, we're here with you!

[Fortis]

I'll leave a different perspective for you, OP.

I occasionally find myself "yearning" for something else in my interactions with women, but I have been able to reign myself in. I have pretty accepted that most interactions I have with women will be 1 offs or ONS. I rarely encounter A woman I want to see more than once, and I tend to find that women feel this way as well about me. I do suspect it might be something that becomes problematic somewhere down the line.

Now, occasionally, I will encounter such women, but I find that it doesn't go beyond where I think it will, so I have learned to live with that at this juncture in my life. I'm just learning the game, so I will have to consider this question again further down the line.

[jariel]

No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No.

OP, I'm going to break down your situation and I want you to read every thread that I link to in this post, and if you still need further consultation, feel free to hit me up privately.

Quote:

Think back to that one girl you couldn't get rid of because you felt so attached to her, despite how many times she has wronged you.

You're pussy-whipped. She's wronged you, but you enjoy sex with her, you can't let go of fucking her, so it doesn't matter what she does or what you do, you keep some sort of attachment to her just so you keep getting into her box.

Quote:

She's not a oneitits, but you care for her.

You don't really care for her, you care about yourself. At this point in your life, you're a low-quality man. You can't have the type of woman you really want in your life, so you've accepted that this is the type of woman and the type of relationship that you can have. You rather have it than nothing at all.

It's not "oneitis", it's worse.

Oneitis usually comes from inexperience. It's natural for men to become attached to women who they've had their first sexual experiences, intense relationships with, etc. When a man keeps going back to the same chick, despite the fact that he can get other chicks, he has deeper problems. He neither has the confidence, nor the ability, to go out into the world and find better. If he could find better, she would cease to exist. Women do it all the time. They might be hung up on you after a break-up, but you become non-existent as soon as they find themselves in a new relationship. If that relationship succeeds, you'll never hear from them again, you only hear from them when it fails, and if you touched them deep enough that made them feel like you were one who they could go back to.

Quote:

I cut her off for 2 months before but eventually I went back to her because she was constantly on my mind during that period

You might have "cut her off", but you didn't cut yourself off. You didn't delete her number or any other way that you could get in contact with her.

She's your lifeboat, since you don't have any confidence, as soon as you remember that you can't swim, you reach back for your lifeboat.

People get comfortable, they get complacent. You are comfortable with her, because she's the devil you know, and she's the "best" devil you know. Again, you might be pulling other chicks, but you're not pulling chicks who are any better than she is, so the cycle continues, leave her, fuck with something else shitty, go back, leave her, fuck with something else shitty, go back.

You have work to do on yourself, until then, accept that you have no game and you're not a player, don't feel yourself because you can make at-best lateral moves.

You're trapped in a shitty, toxic relationship with an arsenic cupcake. Whatever sweetness you've found, it keeps you coming back, but with every bite you don't taste the poison. That poison is killing you on a subconscious level, because again, you don't have the confidence nor the ability to do any better, because if you did, you would.

If she was that special and you cared so much, she wouldn't have hurt you to begin with, and you wouldn't be in this on-off, in-out tailspin.

Is she it for you?

Are you done with the game, done trying to meet other women?

If you are, then be with her and forget about here.

But you're here, which means you're not, so don't lie to yourself that you care about her so much and put extras on feelings that don't really exist, because it's just rationalizing and lying to yourself to make you feel better about your reality as it pertains to her, as it pertains to women period.

She is making you worse, when you really tap into yourself, who you are, the life you're leading, you'll realize that, you'll realize that women only push you in two directions in life, forwards or backwards, you're going nothing but backwards, accept that she is an opponent, not a teammate, and opponents only work against you so that you lose.

Don't take any of that personally, it may sound harsh, but it's the truth, and right now you need the truth.

Here are the threads that I encourage you to read:

She's Not Good Enough
It's Over Before It's Over & What To Do When You Know It
The One Thing To Remember When You Leave Her
Who's In The Game: Players, Spectators, Opponents, and Teammates
Fake Dimes, Loser Females, & DOA Relationships
Players Vs. Gamblers
The Only Rule For Ex's
The Confidence Killers
On Your Self-Confidence and Confidence Killers (Part 2)
See The Truth

You'll find bits of pieces of her, yourself, and that ass relationship you have with her in them.

She doesn't "have a hold on you", you can move on, if you really want to show and prove to yourself that you can be better, that you can have better.

Until then.

[Gmac]

(05-25-2015 12:57 AM)jariel Wrote:  

No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No.

OP, I'm going to break down your situation and I want you to read every thread that I link to in this post, and if you still need further consultation, feel free to hit me up privately.

Quote:

Think back to that one girl you couldn't get rid of because you felt so attached to her, despite how many times she has wronged you.

You're pussy-whipped. She's wronged you, but you enjoy sex with her, you can't let go of fucking her, so it doesn't matter what she does or what you do, you keep some sort of attachment to her just so you keep getting into her box.

Quote:

She's not a oneitits, but you care for her.

You don't really care for her, you care about yourself. At this point in your life, you're a low-quality man. You can't have the type of woman you really want in your life, so you've accepted that this is the type of woman and the type of relationship that you can have. You rather have it than nothing at all.

It's not "oneitis", it's worse.

Oneitis usually comes from inexperience. It's natural for men to become attached to women who they've had their first sexual experiences, intense relationships with, etc. When a man keeps going back to the same chick, despite the fact that he can get other chicks, he has deeper problems. He neither has the confidence, nor the ability, to go out into the world and find better. If he could find better, she would cease to exist. Women do it all the time. They might be hung up on you after a break-up, but you become non-existent as soon as they find themselves in a new relationship. If that relationship succeeds, you'll never hear from them again, you only hear from them when it fails, and if you touched them deep enough that made them feel like you were one who they could go back to.

Quote:

I cut her off for 2 months before but eventually I went back to her because she was constantly on my mind during that period

You might have "cut her off", but you didn't cut yourself off. You didn't delete her number or any other way that you could get in contact with her.

She's your lifeboat, since you don't have any confidence, as soon as you remember that you can't swim, you reach back for your lifeboat.

People get comfortable, they get complacent. You are comfortable with her, because she's the devil you know, and she's the "best" devil you know. Again, you might be pulling other chicks, but you're not pulling chicks who are any better than she is, so the cycle continues, leave her, fuck with something else shitty, go back, leave her, fuck with something else shitty, go back.

You have work to do on yourself, until then, accept that you have no game and you're not a player, don't feel yourself because you can make at-best lateral moves.

You're trapped in a shitty, toxic relationship with an arsenic cupcake. Whatever sweetness you've found, it keeps you coming back, but with every bite you don't taste the poison. That poison is killing you on a subconscious level, because again, you don't have the confidence nor the ability to do any better, because if you did, you would.

If she was that special and you cared so much, she wouldn't have hurt you to begin with, and you wouldn't be in this on-off, in-out tailspin.

Is she it for you?

Are you done with the game, done trying to meet other women?

If you are, then be with her and forget about here.

But you're here, which means you're not, so don't lie to yourself that you care about her so much and put extras on feelings that don't really exist, because it's just rationalizing and lying to yourself to make you feel better about your reality as it pertains to her, as it pertains to women period.

She is making you worse, when you really tap into yourself, who you are, the life you're leading, you'll realize that, you'll realize that women only push you in two directions in life, forwards or backwards, you're going nothing but backwards, accept that she is an opponent, not a teammate, and opponents only work against you so that you lose.

Don't take any of that personally, it may sound harsh, but it's the truth, and right now you need the truth.

Here are the threads that I encourage you to read:

She's Not Good Enough
It's Over Before It's Over & What To Do When You Know It
The One Thing To Remember When You Leave Her
Who's In The Game: Players, Spectators, Opponents, and Teammates
Fake Dimes, Loser Females, & DOA Relationships
Players Vs. Gamblers
The Only Rule For Ex's
The Confidence Killers
On Your Self-Confidence and Confidence Killers (Part 2)
See The Truth

You'll find bits of pieces of her, yourself, and that ass relationship you have with her in them.

She doesn't "have a hold on you", you can move on, if you really want to show and prove to yourself that you can be better, that you can have better.

Until then.

Burn this into your brain. The cold hard, golden truth.

[dagon]

I let go easily if she does me wrong, I have no time for sensitivity when I am being wronged.