[reco2100]

Met this chick back about a year ago. Hit it off really well. Put her in my rotation. She is very cute much younger than me. Lots of fun. Great demeanor and awesome body. Wild fuck and always down for anything.

So we were seeing each other about once a week or two. Very cool, and she was crazy about me. But there was one big but...

Did not notice this at first but she is a serious drinker. I mean she drinks a lot. And the further we got along the more the drinking came out. And it is trouble when she drinks a lot. Couple of months into it and it became a problem and I put my foot down. And basically we split up. Was not going to put up with the bad behavior.

So a couple of times she has texted me out of the blue. Last time we met up but she was still doing the drinking and during her absence, she had gotten a DUI and was going through the court stuff with that. We spent some time together that night but did not do anything because she got real drunk again and nutty.

Anyway she has contacted me again (I never contact her) and I invited her out to get together. She has agreed and asked me to pick her up. (I figured she probably lost her license for that DUI lol). But I want to head off this drinking thing before hand.

Do you guys think it is cool to tell her no drinking when we get together tomorrow night? Or would you not address the issue and see if it still comes up? I want to get another bang she was some of the best sex I ever had. I do not see any future with this chick except for as a good fuck buddy to fill in my very thin rotation right now.

[Fortis]

So, you don't see a future in being with her, but you want to control her habits. What exactly do you want here? IF she's that much of an alcoholic then just move on. I imagine cleaning puke off of your floor is annoying.

[Engineer]

See if she'll just chill at her place, watch a movie, split a single bottle of wine, etc. Tell her you want to relax and slow down, be more serious, whatever it takes but keep this boozehound on a leash.

She's got a drinking problem for a reason, what do you think that reason is and is it bad enough to invoke the 'do not put your dick in crazy' rule?

[reco2100]

(04-27-2015 07:39 PM)Fortis Wrote:  

So, you don't see a future in being with her, but you want to control her habits. What exactly do you want here? IF she's that much of an alcoholic then just move on. I imagine cleaning puke off of your floor is annoying.

Actually what I want is like I said above a fuck buddy. Not looking for an LTR.

Not sure what you mean about puke, that has not been an issue.

[YossariansRight]

A fuckbuddy is a fuckbuddy period. If she needs to get sauced in order to get her freak on, so be it - it's a better lay for you.

It's hard to get people to change, especially women. Don't try. If you want to make this chick a member of your rotation, have fun; if her drinking becomes an issue, drop her and move along to the next hole(s).

[Fortis]

(04-27-2015 08:00 PM)reco2100 Wrote:  

(04-27-2015 07:39 PM)Fortis Wrote:  

So, you don't see a future in being with her, but you want to control her habits. What exactly do you want here? IF she's that much of an alcoholic then just move on. I imagine cleaning puke off of your floor is annoying.

Actually what I want is like I said above a fuck buddy. Not looking for an LTR.

Not sure what you mean about puke, that has not been an issue.

Yes, that is what you said, but you seem to be communicating to us that you're trying to modify her drinking behavior, which I don't understand, especially if you're only trying to fuck. It would make sense that you would want to control her behavior if she was your LTR or something. Do you see what I mean?

I would say invite her to your place but keep a controlled amount of alcohol around. Stash your other alcohol away so she doesn't get as drunk as she normally does. That way you get your fuck and she doesn't get so drunk.

[reco2100]

(04-27-2015 08:10 PM)Fortis Wrote:  

(04-27-2015 08:00 PM)reco2100 Wrote:  

(04-27-2015 07:39 PM)Fortis Wrote:  

So, you don't see a future in being with her, but you want to control her habits. What exactly do you want here? IF she's that much of an alcoholic then just move on. I imagine cleaning puke off of your floor is annoying.

Actually what I want is like I said above a fuck buddy. Not looking for an LTR.

Not sure what you mean about puke, that has not been an issue.

Yes, that is what you said, but you seem to be communicating to us that you're trying to modify her drinking behavior, which I don't understand, especially if you're only trying to fuck. It would make sense that you would want to control her behavior if she was your LTR or something. Do you see what I mean?

I would say invite her to your place but keep a controlled amount of alcohol around. Stash your other alcohol away so she doesn't get as drunk as she normally does. That way you get your fuck and she doesn't get so drunk.

Not really what I communicated. Like a lot of people when she drinks a lot she becomes a pain in the ass like I mentioned above. No LTR wanted believe me.
Thanks for the recommendation. And the perspective.

Yossarian good suggestion. essentially you and engineer are suggesting to not confront her with it but just set up logistics to not have so much drinking. Appreciate the ideas.

[YossariansRight]

(04-27-2015 08:23 PM)reco2100 Wrote:  

(04-27-2015 08:10 PM)Fortis Wrote:  

(04-27-2015 08:00 PM)reco2100 Wrote:  

(04-27-2015 07:39 PM)Fortis Wrote:  

So, you don't see a future in being with her, but you want to control her habits. What exactly do you want here? IF she's that much of an alcoholic then just move on. I imagine cleaning puke off of your floor is annoying.

Actually what I want is like I said above a fuck buddy. Not looking for an LTR.

Not sure what you mean about puke, that has not been an issue.

Yes, that is what you said, but you seem to be communicating to us that you're trying to modify her drinking behavior, which I don't understand, especially if you're only trying to fuck. It would make sense that you would want to control her behavior if she was your LTR or something. Do you see what I mean?

I would say invite her to your place but keep a controlled amount of alcohol around. Stash your other alcohol away so she doesn't get as drunk as she normally does. That way you get your fuck and she doesn't get so drunk.

Not really what I communicated. Like a lot of people when she drinks a lot she becomes a pain in the ass like I mentioned above. No LTR wanted believe me.
Thanks for the recommendation. And the perspective.

Yossarian good suggestion. essentially you and engineer are suggesting to not confront her with it but just set up logistics to not have so much drinking. Appreciate the ideas.

Yes, say nothing. Let her do her thing (drink) and bang her from time to time. This chick obviously has a drinking problem that she doesn't want to address. As long as she doesn't harm anyone, let her self destruct. Get your nut off and enjoy the ride. When she and her problem becomes a pain in the ass, next her.

[WestIndianArchie]

The sex is so good that you're willing to lower your standards to be with this girl.

Sure she's contacting you, but you're the one that's accommodating her, just because of the sex.

I know what I would do....

I'D FUCK THE SHIT OUT OF HER...REPEATEDLY.....PROBABLY RAW DOG AND REGRET IT THE NEXT DAY....AND FUCK HER A WEEK AFTERWARDS..and FEEL SHITTY ABOUT IT...UNTIL THE NEXT TIME.

But that's not what YOU SHOULD DO.

This girl is testing your inner game.

Can I play with fire and not get burned?

Anytime you find yourself the "responsible" one in a relationship (this is a short term and temporary relationship) - the other person is in control. If you find yourself saving her from herself, you're putting yourself at a disadvantage.

No matter how good the sex is
- you'll get bored with the sex
- you'll get tired of her

At the same time, you're icy veneer is gonna melt a bit.

It's okay to NOT be a Dark Triad Vampire. I'm not.
But you obviously know your limits. This chick is a hurricane, and whether you admit it or not, you could get swept away in her madness.

Do you tempt fate?

I can't tell you what to do. But I've continually chosen wrong.

Got some good stories out of it, and had a bunch of property destroyed, and my horrible name even more besmirched.

WIA

[Geekzor]

Been following this thread and I was intrigued with what guys here would advise you to do, but WIA just nailed it right there. You don't need this, and you should definitely not want this. No matter how the sex is good or how she makes you feel, it always backfires and when it does...I'll just say I won't want to be in your shoes.

[Aphex]

Reading the thread, all the advice is great. I have to agree with WIA and Geekzor. Next her.

[reco2100]

Thanks for the suggestions guys. And very perceptive WIA. Sounds like you have been there a time or two.

So we ended up going out two nights ago and it was pretty much like you said not the best outing. Started out real good, went out to an area of town where there was lots of places to eat shops bars and entertainment where we could walk around. She looked awesome and always dresses sexy for me.

But she was sober. So we are talking flirting walking around, stop for dinner. Having a great time. Eventually she orders a drink a double. And of course now I find myself watching her like a mother hen. Not a good position to be in. Did not say anything but my radar is up and being observant. Probably should have been observing myself more than her. More drinks. Still fun but the concern is there in the back of my mind. She is talking about sexy things her friend that she wants to have a threesome with me and her. Shows me pics of her friend she is very cute. Normally this would look really good. But in this case there is just too much bullshit to get to that point.

We move on to this place where they have live music and a bar. Not a lot of places at night where there is not alcohol. More drinks now she is getting sloshed. She is tiny 105 lbs with a smoking body.

Long story short she gets a little more sloshed then it starts to go down hill. She is a little surly few snide remarks and strange hypersensitive things that drunk people do. Take her back to hotel bang her a couple of times. Sex was not even that great. (She was awesome in the past). Then she goes down to the hotel store and gets a bottle of wine. Puts her way over the edge and then she is now a pain in the ass sloppy drunk.

Just a fucking hassell. I immediately take her home no contact since. I guess I was just hoping she straightened herself out since we last saw each other last year and we could have a little fun. But nothing has changed. She is an alcoholic and she has not hit rock bottom. Not a bad person. Just fucked up kinda of sad in the end.

[reco2100]

@WIA

"Anytime you find yourself the "responsible" one in a relationship (this is a short term and temporary relationship) - the other person is in control. If you find yourself saving her from herself, you're putting yourself at a disadvantage.

No matter how good the sex is
- you'll get bored with the sex
- you'll get tired of her

At the same time, you're icy veneer is gonna melt a bit."

So fucking true. All of these things happened and all of it is how I felt. Sucks to be the responsible one. I have been that all my life. Taken care of everyone. Trying to not do this in my dating life.

[Dr. Howard]

(04-30-2015 08:25 AM)reco2100 Wrote:  

@WIA

"Anytime you find yourself the "responsible" one in a relationship (this is a short term and temporary relationship) - the other person is in control. If you find yourself saving her from herself, you're putting yourself at a disadvantage.

No matter how good the sex is
- you'll get bored with the sex
- you'll get tired of her

At the same time, you're icy veneer is gonna melt a bit."

So fucking true. All of these things happened and all of it is how I felt. Sucks to be the responsible one. I have been that all my life. Taken care of everyone. Trying to not do this in my dating life.

GOOOOLD advice here. If you are the responsible one, you are the fun stopper, the bad guy and the party pooper in their eyes. You are more like a parent and will be the person they bitch to their girlfriends about "Doc Howard is such a jerk, he won't even let me buy this new purse...he says we have to pay rent"

Being the responsible one only works if the woman already gets off on that shit, or had completely submitted to you already and expects and respects you being the leader.

example "You need to stop drinking!" vs. "I get drunk to much, please help me to get that under control". One is command vs. the other being wilful submission