[LINUX]

I wanted to get this thread started before I go to bed. I’ll be in Colombia for three months and I need something to do.

Here are my goals:

1. I want a threesome with two women, with fakes asses, laying on my chest at the same time, while I smoke a cigar and drink whiskey.



Last trip I think I either hit 15 or 19 lays in 30 days so my goals are possible. I don't speak Spanish and it's never been a problem with me.
If you guys meet me, you'll see I talk very little anyway. I'm always playing chess in my head.


So here we go:

Day One: Two bangs in 22 hours, 8 orgasms, 1 anal


She wanted me to take her to dinner, I made her a peanut butter sandwich instead.


My second Venezuelan. Real tight, felt like i was fucking a garden hose.


So, there I was looking out into the city, smoking a cigar, listening to classical music, and drinking some whiskey, and then a gentle thought crossed my mind, "What an ugly fucking city."

[chochemonger1]

Linux. I guarantee you will have, a way lower chance of getting an STD in Colombia than in the US. Never had an STD here. though I almost never wear a condom. In Austin Texas, in one year, i got clamidia and gonorrhea, though I mostly wrapped it up.
Relax and drink some more of that Wild Turkey.

[LINUX]

Gracias me amigo. Gracias. If you're in Cali in May when I come, I'll hit you up.

[getdownonit]

But just look at that view, it's breathtaking!

[choichoi]

Haha bitch eatin a burger wit dem titays out - classy!

[Distant Light]

Lookin forward to this thread

[Simeon_Strangelight]

That's what I call quality reporting.

[RougeNoir]

More pics as this progresses!

[LINUX]

I went to the gym with Atlantic today. I have a date lined up with an oncologist tonight. I'll try to get the bang as soon as possible. 'I'm overwhelmed with the internet game. I used "tools for tinder" and got about 60 matches since I left for the gym this morning. It liked everyone in Bogota in a matter of 60 seconds so my phone will be blowing up all day. I've noticed all of the girls profiles are in English. It makes me loose interest when they speak English or pretend to. Most of the them have fucked so many gringos, they feel they need to say "I'm not into casual sex." I find that this usually means they are down to fuck

What is with these women and unibrows? I mean come on, pluck that shit.

[LINUX]

This is how tools for tinder works. No more constant swipping. Sorry about all the shaking. I had about 20 cups of coffee

[LINUX]

Day two was a strange one.

When I showed up at MacDonalds for my date with the doctor, she gave me a huge smile. Her teeth reminded me of something straight out of the trailer park where i grew up. I kept looking at her thigh searching for a tweety bird tattoo. I spent 5 minutes with her and couldn't take the smell of her breath anymore and got the fuck out of there. I am not sure when her profile picture was taken but it sure wasn't this decade.

I got back to my hotel and sent Atalntic a message but we didn't have anything lined up for the night so I went to whatsapp and asked the first girl I saw to come over. I had some sort of rash on my ass from walking, so I put some cortaid on it. 45 minutes later she showed up, I run my normal agressive game, we are listening to music, and as soon as AC/DC thunderstruck comes on, she stands up and starts stripping. She starts ripping my clothes off. Next thing i know, she is licking my ass, cortaid and all. I get on top of her, I should of put on a condom, not sure what I was thinking, I start fucking her hard. The problem is I bought one of those crucifixes in Medeliin because I liked the way it looks. When I start ramming this girl, her head is turned to the side because the cross keeps slapping her in the face. She eventually got tired of it and asked me to put it in her ass.

So, we got done and I made a bologna sandwich and drunk some whiskey. She fell asleep soon after. The police outside were talking loud as hell so I had to some sleeping medicine to get to sleep.

I think me and Atlantic are going to head to Barranquilla on Sunday. This is good because I need to get out and party a bit. It's so easy to get laid here, I have little desire to leave the hotel room because they all come to me. All I really have to do is get hard.

[Atlantic]

(04-03-2015 09:49 PM)LINUX Wrote:  

She wanted me to take her to dinner, I made her a peanut butter sandwich instead...

...drinking some whiskey...

Day two was a strange one...

...So, we got done and I made a bologna sandwich and drunk some whiskey.

Colombia Travel Pack:

[getdownonit]

We also recommend:

[chochemonger1]

One thing Linux that you are spot on, is teaching Colombian newbies to be aggressive and to kino escalate ASAP. I banged a 20 yr old that I met on the 1st date, purely on that today, where most of the times before, I would have tried a mixed strategy.
Based on all the data I am getting, it is the best strategy NOW, even though you have to be careful with who and how you do it. Not Brazilian caveman, but grabbing her hand and touching is essential, in order to bang Colombian girls quick...
now that they have an even shorter attention than before.

[Merenguero]

I think I'm learning more from the recent Colombia posts than I have from my own experiences and from all prior Colombia data combined.

[LINUX]

Day three:

I've been working on this physics assignment all night. I had to intentionally turn my phone off so I wouldn't write anyone to come over.

I had a girl I previously banged show up unannounced. This tends to happen to me all the time, in Cali, Medellin and Bogota. I can't express how important it is to have a doorman and give him a slice of pizza once in a while when you order one. That is the key. If you have an apartment on the street or where the woman can look in, you are screwed if you are getting notches everyday.

I was very rude to the girl and she started crying. Atlantic took off. We got back to the apartment and I demanded a response. Turns out I took an Ambien last night and wrote her and told her we would get married and have some Juan Valdez cafe negro babies. She was coming over to talk about having babies. Lesson learned, if you take an ambien, turn off the phone.

I got a bang coming at 11 am tomorrow morning and another set up tomorrow night. I'm getting frustrated with all the colombian dudes eye fucking me. I had a 5'2 Colombian guy doing pullups today at the gym and he was looking at me and every time time during the concentric phase he would grunt and smile. strange.

[LINUX]

Me and Atlantic are heading to Barranquilla for a week on next Sunday. If anyone can drop some intel on where to stay or grab some whiskey , it would be very cool. I'll look on Airbnb tomorrow.

[Merenguero]

(04-05-2015 10:29 PM)LINUX Wrote:  

Me and Atlantic are heading to Barranquilla for a week on next Sunday. If anyone can drop some intel on where to stay or grab some whiskey , it would be very cool. I'll look on Airbnb tomorrow.

If you happen to pass by the Hotel Windsor in Barranquilla, don't even bother looking for a rooftop bar. There is none.

[scotian]

(04-05-2015 10:00 PM)Merenguero Wrote:  

I think I'm learning more from the recent Colombia posts than I have from my own experiences and from all prior Colombia data combined.

Guys like Linux, Atlantic and Oneaday brought a level of game and dedication to chasing pussy that I've never witnessed in Colombia before, it was inspiring.

(04-05-2015 10:23 PM)LINUX Wrote:  

I got a bang coming at 11 am tomorrow morning and another set up tomorrow night. I'm getting frustrated with all the colombian dudes eye fucking me. I had a 5'2 Colombian guy doing pullups today at the gym and he was looking at me and every time time during the concentric phase he would grunt and smile. strange.

That's because you're staying in Chapinero, the gayest barrio in the entire country, once you get out of there you should notice a drop in the queers eye raping you.

(04-05-2015 11:42 PM)Merenguero Wrote:  

(04-05-2015 10:29 PM)LINUX Wrote:  

Me and Atlantic are heading to Barranquilla for a week on next Sunday. If anyone can drop some intel on where to stay or grab some whiskey , it would be very cool. I'll look on Airbnb tomorrow.

If you happen to pass by the Hotel Windsor in Barranquilla, don't even bother looking for a rooftop bar. There is none.

You guys should definitely stay somewhere around Hotel Windsor, its in a good location (calle 84 con 46), there's a strip of bars right across the street, Atlantic will notice it because we partied a lot up there during the carnaval. Barranquilla is one of those cities where 80-90% of it is a complete dump, its also very big geographically so stay away from the south as its a shit hole. Centro is rough too but there's cheap hotels there, Atlantic and I stayed at Hotel Marseille (calle 44 con 43), it was 35.000/night with AC and WIFI, not bad and within walking distance to centro commercial Portal del Prado, the place where Atlantic and my blond haired friend had teenage girls coming up to them asking for photos. If you guys do decide to go party down south, you can check out the bars along Carrera 21 or down on carrera 8, Atlantic has been to both and they have bigger bars and clubs down there compared to the north but its quite rough so party with caution (leave the smart phones, bank cards and nice watches home.) You guys will enjoy Quilla as there's few Gringos and the girls are very, very receptive to being opened up but the level of English is low compared to Bogota, not that it will stop you poon hounds from tearing it up there. Guys, also check out Santa Marta/Taganga and do a day trip to Tayrona, all well worth it.

[Merenguero]

(04-06-2015 02:17 PM)scotian Wrote:  

(04-05-2015 10:23 PM)LINUX Wrote:  

I'm getting frustrated with all the colombian dudes eye fucking me. I had a 5'2 Colombian guy doing pullups today at the gym and he was looking at me and every time time during the concentric phase he would grunt and smile. strange.

That's because you're staying in Chapinero, the gayest barrio in the entire country, once you get out of there you should notice a drop in the queers eye raping you.

I agree. The gay thing isn't really common in Colombia and I was kind of surprised when I read that post. In Mexico, it's all over the place.

[Sonsowey]

(04-06-2015 02:31 PM)Merenguero Wrote:  

(04-06-2015 02:17 PM)scotian Wrote:  

(04-05-2015 10:23 PM)LINUX Wrote:  

I'm getting frustrated with all the colombian dudes eye fucking me. I had a 5'2 Colombian guy doing pullups today at the gym and he was looking at me and every time time during the concentric phase he would grunt and smile. strange.

That's because you're staying in Chapinero, the gayest barrio in the entire country, once you get out of there you should notice a drop in the queers eye raping you.

I agree. The gay thing isn't really common in Colombia and I was kind of surprised when I read that post. In Mexico, it's all over the place.

In my year in Bogotá, that wasn't my experience at all. In La Candelaria you see lots of people who give color to the sexual rainbow, being like a college crowd and all, it's a pretty accepting area of whatever your predilections are. ChapiGay of course is also like that.

[LINUX]

I nailed two chicks today. I'm pretty drunk right now. You haven't really lived until you nail a Colombian chick from behind who has an ass like an autobus and you have a bottle of wild turkey in one hand and your video recorder in the order and she's screaming some random shit in Spanish that you don't understand, and her head is banging against the wall.

After we were done, she got on Google translate and told me thank you for pleasing her.. You're very welcome bonita.

As far as reality goes, I'm sure someone died in USA, someone else said something racist, and the stock market probably dropped or something but I really couldn't give a shit because I refuse to read the news while I am here.

Life is good but I am out of wild turkey so I bought some scotch and a loaf of bread.

[CleanSlate]

Man, what's your game, and how are you nailing all these chicks without using any Spanish?

[LINUX]

Hey Cleanslate, I don't have any game. I don't know anything about game or pua stuff. I do the same thing that I do in the states. I meet the girl at a club, restaurant, or my apartment and I kiss her as soon as possible, and then I escalate to a sexual way as soon as possible. Spanish isn't an issue because it doesn't matter what you say to a woman. Talking is overrated. Unless you say something that is completely strange like "I want to shit in your mouth," You can still nail a girl by letting her talk and pretending to listen. She has already made up her mind if she wants to fuck you. Just be confident and when they say something to you in Spanish, smile and say "Te amo" or I love you and kiss them and grab their ass. The rest is you being aggressive and making her feel like sex is normal and acceptable. Apart from that, I do a lot of testosterone, drink whiskey, and smoke a lot of cigars.

Feel free to come down to Colombia and roll with us. Life is all about making good memories and having good friends to bullshit with.

[Merenguero]

(04-06-2015 09:23 PM)LINUX Wrote:  

Hey Cleanslate, I don't have any game. I don't know anything about game or pua stuff. I do the same thing that I do in the states. I meet the girl at a club, restaurant, or my apartment and I kiss her as soon as possible, and then I escalate to a sexual way as soon as possible. Spanish isn't an issue because it doesn't matter what you say to a woman. Talking is overrated. Unless you say something that is completely strange like "I want to shit in your mouth," You can still nail a girl by letting her talk and pretending to listen. She has already made up her mind if she wants to fuck you. Just be confident and when they say something to you in Spanish, smile and say "Te amo" or I love you and kiss them and grab their ass. The rest is you being aggressive and making her feel like sex is normal and acceptable. Apart from that, I do a lot of testosterone, drink whiskey, and smoke a lot of cigars.

Feel free to come down to Colombia and roll with us. Life is all about making good memories and having good friends to bullshit with.

First, LINUX's posts on the forum are beyond impressive. They are the exact kind of stuff that people who aren't in our community would think were completely made up, which means he's doing it right. Second, and this may disturb some people, is that I didn't even know what "LMR" was until I started reading the forum and it certainly isn't something that I really experience. The vast majority of times that I get a girl to where I am staying and alcohol is involved, as soon as we go in, she either strips completely, strips down to just a thong, or strips down to a bra and underwear. When this happens, sex happens very soon after 100% of the time. I have, of course, had times where a girl came over, nothing happened, she left, and I deleted her number, but that is not extremely common and there was no kissing or contact of any kind in those cases. I think the better you are at building attraction, the greater the likelihood of quick sex is.

Edit: My phone is not letting me give LINUX a rep point for some reason. I'll wait until I get to a computer tomorrow or whenever.