[TheDuncan]

Ok so I am 24, I admit I dont have much game but I have some good qualities that I realized these past few years, one im not that bad looking just never had much confidence, I talk well and am funny but again due to low confidence I always questioned myself.

I have gotten past a lot of those self defeating thoughts and see myself in a better light, because of this confidence I have had MUCH better success with wonen and am a lot more comfortable, the guy I was years ago was a joke compared to now.

I used to really be a nice guy with girls and never used to talk to them, let alone make a move, if I did talk to them I never made any kind of advance. Now I am much more touchy feely, a jokester and overall have a fun but aloof attitude.

So whats the problem here? Lets talk about this girl I became friends with (not sure if thats good or bad), she is 21 and we hang around a lot and drink, we touch a lot and we laugh a lot, we do a lot except....that. This is going to sound real embarrassing but she has made various sexual comments around me and I dont even say much back, I either laugh or make some dumb comment only to later think (wtf dude, why did you not say this or that), so what is the problem here? So what are the issues here? To me there are 3 main issues for me here.

1.While my confidence has grown a ton, I dont have a ton of sexual experience and I always feel like I might live up to any expectations in the bed, I know it sounds dumb but yea.

2.As funny and touchy I can be I still have trouble making that sexual advance, I usually think a lot about how to go about it and I end up not going for it, I feel like she is gonna be like "woah hey we are just friends", then again she gets drunk with me, puts her head on me, touches me, so yea why am being such a pussy here? Lol

3.I can be witty at random times and say all the right things but when a girl throws me off with some random sexual comment its like I get stuck and have nothing to say, cant tell you how many times I have walked off beating myself up for not coming up with a slick comment.

Yes I think of this girl a lot and it pisses me off, as if she is the only girl out there or even the hottest, she is neither but she is on my mind, I even have other girls like this but I cant stop thinking about her, damn that hurts even typing that...

So yea I feel embarrassed even typing all this but after reading all this red pill knowledge over this past year I have come a long way in terms of my understanding of men and women and working to improve myself, I still have a ways to go as to where I want to be but that is why I am here, to keep learing and improving.

I would appreciate any advice from you vets, thank you.

[RockHard]

You're familiar with the terms "friendzone" and "oneitis", right?

Think abundance. You're more worried about losing her friendship than banging her, but all you really care about is banging her, so there's the disconnect. You said it yourself. Why *are* you being such a pussy?

[Mofasa]

I think it depends on whether you're wiling to lose her as a "friend." It's a binary thing, if you want to bang this chick then you must be direct and advance sexually. Next time you're out drinking with the lizard simply grab her head and kiss her, do it right after she's laughing or an unexpected time. Chances are she's going to reciprocate especially if you're showing that much dominance. If not then you have to simply live with the fact that you're "friendship" will never be the same. If that's the case at least you will be free to move on from the obsession in you're head

[Travesty]

The easiest way to get around all this is assume the girl you are after is a slut. She may be a nice and generous person, but just think of her as a slut.

This is a much easier form of fake til you make it. Instead of using your imagination to pump yourself up, you uses statistics and reality to make what is usually an accurate assumption the girl you are after has had a slut past and is probably getting dick on the side right now.

When you see her and get all excited... think "she probably had some other guy's dick her mouth last night and let him blast all over her tits and face". --- There is probably a much more realistic chance of this happening that you would think, at least with your current attitude.

Imagine this 21yo chick her freshman year in college not too far long ago at some random house party getting sloppy drunk and banged out in a bedroom with a guy she just met. This guy probably saw her as a young and naive fresh piece of meat he had his way with. Imagine that having happened. Because odds are it very well could have.

This will make you treat women differently if you truly let in, have faith, and believe that these are a strong reality.

[TheDuncan]

Hmm a few points here.

1.I dont know if she is a total slut per say but she is very sexual and I know she would be dtf, she messages a lot of guys and various other shit I know about her.

2.I actually think she is cool and I have tons of fun with her, I think she is a good friend, would I be sad if I lost her as a friend? Maybe not "sad" but in the end yes I want to fuck her most of all, I guess maybe I am fooling myself, am I really only her friend just because I want to fuck her? Sure I have fun with her but maybe I need to just accept that I either fuck her or not be her friend.

Can women and men really be "just freinds"? Even though I have fun with her and I look forward to hanging with her, there is that ever present "how can I game this girl and get her to fuck me?"

Fuck it it, I have to build up the courage and go for it next time, whatever happens does not matter, I mean what can happen? Either I fuck her or ene up losing her, I'll take the chance.

[Travesty]

Just know if you go for it and get rejected, you can't spend time with her anymore as just a friend. It isn't worth the ego hit over the long term. Rip the bandaid off if that happens, cut all contact and move on.

[TheDuncan]

Thanks, I will keep that in mind, I just wonder if she really is into me like that or just like attention or playing games?

Like I said there is touching, talking, laughing, drinking, sexual comments, I have cuddled with her, held her hand, but even then who knows, women love to play games and I know I aint the only she does this with.

[Travesty]

You need to go for the make out. There is no other way to know. Right now talking to yourself you sound like a teenage girl.

Seriously, this is a test I have been telling newbies. Go print out that last comment, get in front of a mirror, read it to yourself out loud while looking yourself in the eye. It won't be pretty.

Be sure to record it on video to watch it 3 years from now for a good laugh in a down week. I am not kidding.

[TheDuncan]

Lmao I have read all these things on the manosphere but damn do I have trouble with overthinking and analyzing, I need to be more about action rather than thinking about every little thing. Its easy to say but when you right there in the moment its hard to just say "fuck it!" and do it (unless im drunk)

Either way next time is it, no excuses and no pussying out, thanks.

[heavy]

Your answer lies here:

(04-02-2015 12:00 PM)TheDuncan Wrote:  

While my confidence has grown a ton, I dont have a ton of sexual experience ...

Confidence is incredibly situational. You can be really confident on the basketball court, but that won't directly carry over to flying a plane.

If you don't have a ton of sexual experience, you probably aren't confident with women (the way you want to be).

I'm guessing you've gone from shy around women, to comfortable around them, to maybe even confident around them...

But not confident *with* them.

If you were confident with them, sexually, you'd have closed those easy deals.

That said, at 24 you're doing better than me in a lot of ways. Congrats and keep improving.

[heavy]

Also, and I think this is often overlooked...

You'll have a looooonngggg way to go to be confident with all women, if it's even possible (more experienced players and older guys might attest).

Unless you're regularly banging 10s, a hotter women than you're used to can always you 'less confident', especially if you're trying to lay her. I have plenty of experience spanning 6-8s....but if I'm trying to get a 9, on the upper end of my usual, I get a little less confident.

[Sonoma]

Drink and flirt with chubby girls.

you'll always win, and always lose

[TheDuncan]

Ok so can I ask you guys for some advice on how to go about this kiss?

It just seems awkward, we hang all the time then out of nowhere I go for the kiss? Even though I have cuddled with her before it just seems like it would be awkward to just kiss her out of nowhere.

I think when we hang out and drink Im gonna talk sexually and touch her and she how she responds, I'll go from there.

Im probably making this more complicated than it is. I dont care about the friendship anymore, not really a real friendship if all I want to do is fuck, should I also go about treating her differently as well? Like not much texting/hanging out and make it clear that "hey I dont want to be just a friend".

I thought about what you guys said and it makes sense to me, why stick around with this girl if I cant see her as just a friend, all I want to do is fuck her when she is around so how can that really be a friendship? I am not her boyfriend nor her girlfriend she can talk to and spill her problems to, I think that has been my mistake, that is what I have been acting like.

[redbeard]

(04-02-2015 01:28 PM)Travesty444 Wrote:  

You need to go for the make out. There is no other way to know. Right now talking to yourself you sound like a teenage girl.

Seriously, this is a test I have been telling newbies. Go print out that last comment, get in front of a mirror, read it to yourself out loud while looking yourself in the eye. It won't be pretty.

Be sure to record it on video to watch it 3 years from now for a good laugh in a down week. I am not kidding.

This deserves its own post. Great suggestion.

[TheDuncan]

Guys the moment of truth is here, gonna hang out soon.

Lol damn not sure how this is gonna go...

[TheDuncan]

Ok so an update here, I hung out with her today, nothing much happened just more friend stuff but today I found myself bothering her a lot more (in that playful way), a lot of "stop laughing at me" heh, I also found that I was making sexual comments and responding to her's more than ever before. I for sure noticed some tests and I feel I handled them well, some I did not have a response, its all cool.

Something else happened with me as well, before this little exchanges/hangouts would leave me feeling good as if I accomplished something, today not so much, I feel like I did not accomplish my goal, I'm not sad or mad or anything I just feel like there is more I need to learn and get done.

In the end if I get this girl or not; it does not matter, I am learning and expanding and that in the end is what matters most, she is not the first nor will she be the last. I will still go for my moment when the opportunity arises but for now I feel like I am progressing.

[Jaydublin]

Next time you post in this thread I would like to see you have an experience with at least 3 different girls to tell us about rather than the same 1 girl.

That is where you will find progress....the next step will be 5 different women.

You are not going to learn much with this 1 girl. Go find more asap.

Follow my advice and you will bang that first girl.

[TheDuncan]

So....did I fuck up bigtime here?

I saw her again and she confronted me about the texts, we went to lunch and she put her leg on me, she wanted me to move in closer but I made no move (we went with other people and plus I was not in the best of moods), walking back we talked about the texts and I told her that I do like her like that and she gave the usual "I like you a lot as a friend".

I told her "well we cant be friends because I dont want to be just your friend" she said that was fucked up and I told her "that is how its gonna be" and walked away, she tried to grab me but I kept going.

Later throughout the night I gave her the cold shoulder and she kept trying to get my attention.

Later in the night she texted me asking "are you mad at me?" an hour later I replied "No", she asked why I didnt give her a hug then"

Never replied.

Dafuq is up with this girl? Does she just like flirting/attention, she does not act "like a friend" with me so it confuses me.

Is this just a lost cause and Im just going on a ride?

[Windom Earle]

^ Sounds like you've been friendzoned, despite the physicality so far.

Never tell a girl that you like her, but rather, show her that you like her by escalating sexually, as quickly as possible.

[Jaydublin]

You are way too caught up in this one girl. The sooner you branch out the better off you will be.

Start dating other girls and you might have a chance with her.

[dark_g]

You have nothing to lose with her at this point. Go out to a bar with her and pretend to drink a lot. I say pretend, because you don't want to have whiskey dick if she happens to give up the ass.

After she's got a nice buzz on and gets all touchy feely, just lean in and kiss the girl. Don't think about it, don't think about Technique, just fucking do it. Put your lips on hers and stick your tongue in her mouth.

She's either going to kiss you back or turn away. If she kisses you back, then it's on. Escalate and get her home fast to close the deal. If she flakes, you can accuse her of being a cock teaser and put her to the curb. If she keeps coming back and tries to engage you to hang out with her, go for the ass everytime you meet up with her. Make it clear , YOU DO NOT WANT TO BE FRIENDS. Sometimes persistence over comes resistance.

[TheDuncan]

So update.

Wow what hasnt happened with this situation, so about 2 weeks ago I started to ignore her (not too much but enough for her to notice), playing around with other girls etc, she kept on texting me, and I did not reply, when I saw her again she confronted me asking why I did not respond, I told her "stop being needy". Everything was cool after that, shortly after we went out and I drank (she didnt) couldnt bring myself to make a move, I kinda got quiet and she got annoying, that same night another girl hit me, went to the bar, made out grabbed ass, all that, she wants to hang out Saturday, so that day was a plus.

So yesterday I saw her again and she was ignoring me, I played the game as well, she eventually broke and gave me a hug, later on we began to drink, she had mentioned something earlier about being with me if things didnt work out with her man in the future, in my mind I was like wtf? Do I look like a backup option? That had me kinda annoyed so I was quiet most of the time, she kept asking me if I was ok and trying to mess with me, at one point she kept trying to grab my face, I told her not to because Im gonna grab ber back, she insisted so I grabbed one of her tits (I was wasted at this point), she said "dont touch me like that I was playing around" immediately got offended and left.

So yea pretty royal screw up it seems like, I have not texted her at all, I am sure I will see her again, how should I handle this? Im tired of the games this girl plays, part of me wants to apologize and another part wants to say fuck this bitch and end things completely.

I wont lie I have other girls on my plate but I think about her, what a shitty feeling, but enough is enough.

[Judge Terror]

Dude....just forget this girl. The most powerful word in a man's language is "next".

[Dr. Howard]

(04-25-2015 07:49 PM)Judge Terror Wrote:  

Dude....just forget this girl. The most powerful word in a man's language is "next".

I agree. This is over, focus your dick on other girls and frankly start to distance yourself from this one. Here's why

1. You took a fun, flirty friendship and made it too serious and intense in a Dawson's creek kind of way. The way to escalate it would have been with booze, and drinking games alone with her that involve taking your clothes off...then you blow it off as something that 'just happened' and won't affect your friendship (until the next time you are drunk)

2. This chick wants to have you as a friendzone friend now...as such, she will actually sabotage your other chances with girls as she doesn't want to lose you as an orbiter. This is not talked about enough as a risk of having girl 'friends'

3. You sound like you are way to serious about girls/relationships. I can relate and was like that in my younger years. Only escalate your seriousness to the level of the girls. If she is a total airhead, don't have serious talks with her. If she is majorly introspective, go there, but realize it dries up the pussy. A guy that is fun, non-judgemental, and "spontaneous" aka...doesn't remind her that she's an impulsive slut gets the pussy the easiest. Put on that mask if you want to get laid, even if thats not your true self.

[SnowHugger]

(04-02-2015 12:46 PM)Travesty444 Wrote:  

The easiest way to get around all this is assume the girl you are after is a slut. She may be a nice and generous person, but just think of her as a slut.

This is a much easier form of fake til you make it. Instead of using your imagination to pump yourself up, you uses statistics and reality to make what is usually an accurate assumption the girl you are after has had a slut past and is probably getting dick on the side right now.

When you see her and get all excited... think "she probably had some other guy's dick her mouth last night and let him blast all over her tits and face". --- There is probably a much more realistic chance of this happening that you would think, at least with your current attitude.

Imagine this 21yo chick her freshman year in college not too far long ago at some random house party getting sloppy drunk and banged out in a bedroom with a guy she just met. This guy probably saw her as a young and naive fresh piece of meat he had his way with. Imagine that having happened. Because odds are it very well could have.

This will make you treat women differently if you truly let in, have faith, and believe that these are a strong reality.

My buddy told me this a long time ago. Really difficult for this to settle in, but it makes life easier.