Kampala is the capital of Uganda in Eastern Africa and by far the biggest city in that country. It is an overlooked travel destination and might be a great poosy paradise. However, the whole Uganda is one of the poorest countries in the world and a MAJOR shithole.
I’m sure that a lot of Kampala expatriates and NGO employees will hate me for releasing this datasheet. For too long time they had all the fun just for themselves.
If you haven’t yet, you may want to read Sp5’s thread on Entebbe and Kampala.
Getting there is rather simple (for African standards, at least). Emirates, BA, Turkish Airlines and others connect Uganda with the world. You can obtain a visa on arrival at the airport for 50$, so you bypass the visa application hassle at embassies. Immigration won’t ask too many questions, but fingerprinting is required.
My lay stats in Kampala:
- Total 28 girls (therefore 10 re-bangs and three regulars) in 40 days
- Roughly one out of three girls is from night game, 60% from online game. There’s also one daygame notch.
- Two threesomes
- Golden touchdown
- Consistent double ups
The women
Ugandan girls have traditional values, are generally feminine, caring, kind and know how to party. If they find you desirable, they don’t shit-test you and don’t act like western cunts.
It’s no secret that they have great booty – I never saw such enormous asses elsewhere. Some girls have big tits as well; C- and D-cups are common.
On the other hand, girls are not pretty. The majority is in the 4 to 6 range. Stunners are rare, but you can still find them. Ugandan girls do not age very well; the wall hits them hard in their late twenties or after giving birth to their first child. I ran into a lot of single moms. Mother’s mean age at first birth is 19 (according to the World Factbook).
I distinguish two types of women:
- The traditional ones – they dress long skirts, have a very slow walk (some do more toddle than walk), basically no conversational skills, own a 2005 cell phone, avoid eye contact, traditional beliefs from the 19th century.
- Those accustomed to western lifestyle – they wear more or less fashionable clothes, own a smartphone with internet access, already ate a pizza or a milkshake, like to go out, hang out at upscale shopping malls, had a foreign boyfriend before or are interested in landing one.
For best quality, focus on westernized students.
Poverty is rampant; few women use deodorant or baking soda (smelly armpits galore!) and not all of them shave.
Easiness and how to game them:
ug girls perceive their own men as egoistic, liars, cheaters, loudmouths and therefore prefer foreign men, especially whites.
There is a notable Indian community in Uganda. Indians usually work as managers or shop owners and are known for treating their employees poorly. Therefore, Indian men have the lowest value here. Asians, especially Chinese, have a bad reputation as well.
I don’t know the SMV of African American men but if you tell them that you’re from the west you should be fine.
Asshole game is counterproductive and will scare off the girl, you better use confident gentleman game. No need to wine and dine if you haven't banged the girl yet, and don't overly compliment her looks. That said, buying an appetizer and a drink will make her feel comfortable around you which is key. A simple date shall not cost much more than 10$ for both of you (I only took the highest quality girls to upscale venues, and one date would cost me around 25$, including transportation). Following these rules will bring you very far with the ladies.
My logistics were not good. I stayed in a very basic remote guesthouse but that did not hinder my success with girls at all.
Online game
I used badoo and got many messages each day. If you don’t have a whatsapp account, get one. Girls prefer to chat over there. I used badoo one month prior arrival and got almost 100 numbers. This huge pipeline made me almost neglect night and day game.
I didn’t use Tinder.
Night game
Nightlife is big in Uganda. Locals love to go out and every day is something going on. People go out in order to have fun, and not for showing off. Unfortunately, bars are very widespread and some venues are riddled with working girls.
In Kololo, Bukoto and Nakasero districts, you’ll find upscale bars and beer gardens. The crowd is most international here, with lots of westerners. I never gamed a western girl – why dealing with entrails when there’s so much local prime beef available?
Big Mikes, Bubbles and Casablanca in Kololo are popular among high quality girls.
Bars such as Amnesia, Mateos, 9 Degreez and others are located on Kampala road in the central business district. Here you rarely see a foreigner, but the girl quality is lower. The ratio is not in our favour as well. I rarely pulled from here, but oftentimes set up a first date here or hung out with a regular.
Kabalagala is located 3 miles south of town and there are plenty of bars (Capitol Pub and De Posh being the most infamous). 90% of girls here are prostitutes. Shoring is rather easy and there’s no bar fine as it exists in Thailand because the girls are on their own. Just watch your wallet and make clear you don’t pay for sex. However, the girl will ask you to pay her money for transportation. Those girls are very poor and transportation is expensive for locals (more on that later).
Rock Garden at Speke Hotel is another upscale bar and attracts working girls as well. Girl quality is way better than in Kabalagala and girls are more sophisticated as well, but shoring was slightly more difficult for me, and the venue is rather small.
I rarely went to night clubs and never pulled there.
Day game
Street game in Kampala is very easy. In theory, you can approach any girl and she will likely give you her number. A direct line such as “Hello, I like you and want to invite you on a date” works.
The problem is that the girl quality during the day is so low! There are few 6s and fewer 7s. Even worse, for every woman you see up to three men. This especially goes for the whole central business district (except Kampala road maybe). Better daygame spots with acceptable quality are Garden City / Oasis Shopping Mall, Acacia Mall, and Makerere University.
Keep in mind that most girls can’t afford going out at night and rarely get in touch with westerners. Some are very shy and it can take you two or three dates to get a girl to your place.
With a pipeline that huge and night game that easy, I didn’t daygame much. Eventually, I got the bang with a 7 on third date.
Social circle game
Local guys are friendly towards westerners and they do not cockblock. Some want to be friends with you. I easily got to know locals, they are all curious where I’m from and what am doing in their country. I paid some of them a beer and they appreciated it much. Then I just asked politely if he knows a girl who would have sex with me. Simple.
One guy set up two dates for me which led to instant lays. One of those girls he brought straight to my place and before he left me with her, he told her: “Make no mistakes – he is my friend.”
Having local friends is rewarding, but you gotta ask for the girl’s pics before meeting her. What an ugandan man finds attractive (mostly chubby girls with enormous asses) and what you consider bangable can be a different pair of shoes.
Other observations
- There are still many girls without a smartphone. Mobile communication (they call it airtime) is not cheap, not even for western standards. If a girl doesn’t reply your text, call her. Maybe she just has no more money on her account. Or she accidentally deleted your message. Very few girls would ignore your texts.
- Talking about sexual performance: Many girls give amazing head.
- Cockblocking is no issue, and locals have poor game. You only get some competition in upscale beer gardens (western men).
- Logistics is your worst enemy. More on that later.
- Homosexuality can lead to life imprisonment for “repeat offenders.” Heterosexual anal sex is also severely punishable.
- Being funny and cocky might lead to misunderstandings, and many girls don’t understand an ironical statement.
- HIV rate is 7.2% average in the country (according World Factbook). I heard that this is even worse in the capital, and one out of three working girls being infected.
Things to do
Kampala is a disgusting shithole, with no notable tourist attractions. You can have a look at Gadhafi mosque, or visit one of the traditional markets (Owino in town is one of the bigger ones). Or you visit Victoria Lake, around 10 miles south of town.
Last but not least: logistics and the shithole factor
I have been to Bangkok, Manila, and industrial cities in Eastern Ukraine. Let me tell you that Manila is a first world paradise in comparison with Kampala!
I really don’t know where to start – can any forum member confirm if it’s also that bad in countries such as India or Bangladesh?
- Air pollution is insane and roads are dusty and smoked-up. Most vehicles on the road are very old and have no catalyser. Food stalls on streets work with coal-burning stoves. Some people are firing rubbish. The air in Manila is like a fresh breeze to me…
- Transportation is a nightmare and deserves its own thread. There’s obviously no metro, no tramway, no trolleybuses, no skytrains. So, from fastest to slowest means of transportation:
- The boda boda (or just boda) is a motorbike taxi. The motorbikes are made in India. You find a boda driver anywhere in the Kampala. The boda brings you quickly to your destination, but it’s rather risky as you don’t get a helmet. Many bodas are involved in accidents. What I hate about them is that drivers always try to charge inflated prices, so price negotiation is needed. After all, a boda is not much cheaper than a taxi in Bangkok. Also, there are thousands of boda drivers in Kampala, and you get hassled constantly as they want to drive you somewhere.
- You find a taxi (locals call it a “Special hire”) mostly at larger hotels, upscale bars or shopping malls. None of them has a meter, almost all of them are black taxis, few have a/c. Price negotiation is key. A “Special hire” is always stuck in traffic.
- The mean of transportation number one is a Toyota minivan, licenced for 14 passengers, and is called “Taxi” by the locals. The “Taxi” is very slow and always stuck in jam traffic. The minivan constantly stops in order to pick up new passengers. No aircon available.
- Vaccination against yellow fever and hepatitis is a must. Malaria is present throughout Uganda and an outbreak of typhoid in Kampala was reported February 2015.
- Even third tier Ukrainian towns have a nicely maintained public park, a central square, a fountain and a bench to sit down. Such luxury does not exist in Kampala, at least not in public. But some upscale hotels have a (fenced) park.
- Fertility rate in Uganda is at 6 children per woman and median age is at 15 years. Central town is totally overcrowded with people. Any major Asian metropolis seems half empty to me in comparison. Population growth rate is among of the highest in the world: 3% p.a.
- Every bigger commercial building is called a “Plaza” or “Shopping Mall”. As much as I know, there are only two malls with western standard: The Garden City / Oasis and the Acacia. I visited Garden City and it’s nice for Ugandan standards, but totally pales in comparison to any mall in SEA.
- Electricity supply is unstable at times, even in Garden City or at the airport.
- Service in restaurants is very slow. Sometimes you wait more than 30 minutes for your change. Even in four star hotels you wait an eternity.
- There’s much police, armed with assault rifles. Also, virtually every shop or restaurant has an armed watchman with metal detector. Security checks are more intense than in SEA.
- Finding the products you like from the west is tricky. There’s no Ikea, no H&M, no Burger King, basically nothing. Nakumatt supermarkets are some of the best in ug but they don't meet western standards.
- Credit cards are accepted only at upscale bars, restaurants and hotels; everywhere else you have to pay with cash.
- Do not take small USD banknotes (20$ or less) here. The exchange rate will be much worse.
- Hotels with western comfort cost as much as in the west. You can stay in a small guesthouse instead, but cockroaches, bed bugs and inadequate power and water supply make it a bad experience.
- Poverty is very visible, and begging on the rise.
- Due to bilharzia, Lake Victoria is not safe to swim.
I could go on and on, but this list gives you an idea of what a horrible shithole this is.
I will soon post datasheets of smaller ug cities as well as photographs and maybe even a lay journal. Till then feel free to ask questions in this thread or PM me.
I’m sure that a lot of Kampala expatriates and NGO employees will hate me for releasing this datasheet. For too long time they had all the fun just for themselves.
If you haven’t yet, you may want to read Sp5’s thread on Entebbe and Kampala.
Getting there is rather simple (for African standards, at least). Emirates, BA, Turkish Airlines and others connect Uganda with the world. You can obtain a visa on arrival at the airport for 50$, so you bypass the visa application hassle at embassies. Immigration won’t ask too many questions, but fingerprinting is required.
My lay stats in Kampala:
- Total 28 girls (therefore 10 re-bangs and three regulars) in 40 days
- Roughly one out of three girls is from night game, 60% from online game. There’s also one daygame notch.
- Two threesomes
- Golden touchdown
- Consistent double ups
The women
Ugandan girls have traditional values, are generally feminine, caring, kind and know how to party. If they find you desirable, they don’t shit-test you and don’t act like western cunts.
It’s no secret that they have great booty – I never saw such enormous asses elsewhere. Some girls have big tits as well; C- and D-cups are common.
On the other hand, girls are not pretty. The majority is in the 4 to 6 range. Stunners are rare, but you can still find them. Ugandan girls do not age very well; the wall hits them hard in their late twenties or after giving birth to their first child. I ran into a lot of single moms. Mother’s mean age at first birth is 19 (according to the World Factbook).
I distinguish two types of women:
- The traditional ones – they dress long skirts, have a very slow walk (some do more toddle than walk), basically no conversational skills, own a 2005 cell phone, avoid eye contact, traditional beliefs from the 19th century.
- Those accustomed to western lifestyle – they wear more or less fashionable clothes, own a smartphone with internet access, already ate a pizza or a milkshake, like to go out, hang out at upscale shopping malls, had a foreign boyfriend before or are interested in landing one.
For best quality, focus on westernized students.
Poverty is rampant; few women use deodorant or baking soda (smelly armpits galore!) and not all of them shave.
Easiness and how to game them:
ug girls perceive their own men as egoistic, liars, cheaters, loudmouths and therefore prefer foreign men, especially whites.
There is a notable Indian community in Uganda. Indians usually work as managers or shop owners and are known for treating their employees poorly. Therefore, Indian men have the lowest value here. Asians, especially Chinese, have a bad reputation as well.
I don’t know the SMV of African American men but if you tell them that you’re from the west you should be fine.
Asshole game is counterproductive and will scare off the girl, you better use confident gentleman game. No need to wine and dine if you haven't banged the girl yet, and don't overly compliment her looks. That said, buying an appetizer and a drink will make her feel comfortable around you which is key. A simple date shall not cost much more than 10$ for both of you (I only took the highest quality girls to upscale venues, and one date would cost me around 25$, including transportation). Following these rules will bring you very far with the ladies.
My logistics were not good. I stayed in a very basic remote guesthouse but that did not hinder my success with girls at all.
Online game
I used badoo and got many messages each day. If you don’t have a whatsapp account, get one. Girls prefer to chat over there. I used badoo one month prior arrival and got almost 100 numbers. This huge pipeline made me almost neglect night and day game.
I didn’t use Tinder.
Night game
Nightlife is big in Uganda. Locals love to go out and every day is something going on. People go out in order to have fun, and not for showing off. Unfortunately, bars are very widespread and some venues are riddled with working girls.
In Kololo, Bukoto and Nakasero districts, you’ll find upscale bars and beer gardens. The crowd is most international here, with lots of westerners. I never gamed a western girl – why dealing with entrails when there’s so much local prime beef available?
Big Mikes, Bubbles and Casablanca in Kololo are popular among high quality girls.
Bars such as Amnesia, Mateos, 9 Degreez and others are located on Kampala road in the central business district. Here you rarely see a foreigner, but the girl quality is lower. The ratio is not in our favour as well. I rarely pulled from here, but oftentimes set up a first date here or hung out with a regular.
Kabalagala is located 3 miles south of town and there are plenty of bars (Capitol Pub and De Posh being the most infamous). 90% of girls here are prostitutes. Shoring is rather easy and there’s no bar fine as it exists in Thailand because the girls are on their own. Just watch your wallet and make clear you don’t pay for sex. However, the girl will ask you to pay her money for transportation. Those girls are very poor and transportation is expensive for locals (more on that later).
Rock Garden at Speke Hotel is another upscale bar and attracts working girls as well. Girl quality is way better than in Kabalagala and girls are more sophisticated as well, but shoring was slightly more difficult for me, and the venue is rather small.
I rarely went to night clubs and never pulled there.
Day game
Street game in Kampala is very easy. In theory, you can approach any girl and she will likely give you her number. A direct line such as “Hello, I like you and want to invite you on a date” works.
The problem is that the girl quality during the day is so low! There are few 6s and fewer 7s. Even worse, for every woman you see up to three men. This especially goes for the whole central business district (except Kampala road maybe). Better daygame spots with acceptable quality are Garden City / Oasis Shopping Mall, Acacia Mall, and Makerere University.
Keep in mind that most girls can’t afford going out at night and rarely get in touch with westerners. Some are very shy and it can take you two or three dates to get a girl to your place.
With a pipeline that huge and night game that easy, I didn’t daygame much. Eventually, I got the bang with a 7 on third date.
Social circle game
Local guys are friendly towards westerners and they do not cockblock. Some want to be friends with you. I easily got to know locals, they are all curious where I’m from and what am doing in their country. I paid some of them a beer and they appreciated it much. Then I just asked politely if he knows a girl who would have sex with me. Simple.
One guy set up two dates for me which led to instant lays. One of those girls he brought straight to my place and before he left me with her, he told her: “Make no mistakes – he is my friend.”
Having local friends is rewarding, but you gotta ask for the girl’s pics before meeting her. What an ugandan man finds attractive (mostly chubby girls with enormous asses) and what you consider bangable can be a different pair of shoes.
Other observations
- There are still many girls without a smartphone. Mobile communication (they call it airtime) is not cheap, not even for western standards. If a girl doesn’t reply your text, call her. Maybe she just has no more money on her account. Or she accidentally deleted your message. Very few girls would ignore your texts.
- Talking about sexual performance: Many girls give amazing head.
- Cockblocking is no issue, and locals have poor game. You only get some competition in upscale beer gardens (western men).
- Logistics is your worst enemy. More on that later.
- Homosexuality can lead to life imprisonment for “repeat offenders.” Heterosexual anal sex is also severely punishable.
- Being funny and cocky might lead to misunderstandings, and many girls don’t understand an ironical statement.
- HIV rate is 7.2% average in the country (according World Factbook). I heard that this is even worse in the capital, and one out of three working girls being infected.
Things to do
Kampala is a disgusting shithole, with no notable tourist attractions. You can have a look at Gadhafi mosque, or visit one of the traditional markets (Owino in town is one of the bigger ones). Or you visit Victoria Lake, around 10 miles south of town.
Last but not least: logistics and the shithole factor
I have been to Bangkok, Manila, and industrial cities in Eastern Ukraine. Let me tell you that Manila is a first world paradise in comparison with Kampala!
I really don’t know where to start – can any forum member confirm if it’s also that bad in countries such as India or Bangladesh?
- Air pollution is insane and roads are dusty and smoked-up. Most vehicles on the road are very old and have no catalyser. Food stalls on streets work with coal-burning stoves. Some people are firing rubbish. The air in Manila is like a fresh breeze to me…
- Transportation is a nightmare and deserves its own thread. There’s obviously no metro, no tramway, no trolleybuses, no skytrains. So, from fastest to slowest means of transportation:
- The boda boda (or just boda) is a motorbike taxi. The motorbikes are made in India. You find a boda driver anywhere in the Kampala. The boda brings you quickly to your destination, but it’s rather risky as you don’t get a helmet. Many bodas are involved in accidents. What I hate about them is that drivers always try to charge inflated prices, so price negotiation is needed. After all, a boda is not much cheaper than a taxi in Bangkok. Also, there are thousands of boda drivers in Kampala, and you get hassled constantly as they want to drive you somewhere.
- You find a taxi (locals call it a “Special hire”) mostly at larger hotels, upscale bars or shopping malls. None of them has a meter, almost all of them are black taxis, few have a/c. Price negotiation is key. A “Special hire” is always stuck in traffic.
- The mean of transportation number one is a Toyota minivan, licenced for 14 passengers, and is called “Taxi” by the locals. The “Taxi” is very slow and always stuck in jam traffic. The minivan constantly stops in order to pick up new passengers. No aircon available.
- Vaccination against yellow fever and hepatitis is a must. Malaria is present throughout Uganda and an outbreak of typhoid in Kampala was reported February 2015.
- Even third tier Ukrainian towns have a nicely maintained public park, a central square, a fountain and a bench to sit down. Such luxury does not exist in Kampala, at least not in public. But some upscale hotels have a (fenced) park.
- Fertility rate in Uganda is at 6 children per woman and median age is at 15 years. Central town is totally overcrowded with people. Any major Asian metropolis seems half empty to me in comparison. Population growth rate is among of the highest in the world: 3% p.a.
- Every bigger commercial building is called a “Plaza” or “Shopping Mall”. As much as I know, there are only two malls with western standard: The Garden City / Oasis and the Acacia. I visited Garden City and it’s nice for Ugandan standards, but totally pales in comparison to any mall in SEA.
- Electricity supply is unstable at times, even in Garden City or at the airport.
- Service in restaurants is very slow. Sometimes you wait more than 30 minutes for your change. Even in four star hotels you wait an eternity.
- There’s much police, armed with assault rifles. Also, virtually every shop or restaurant has an armed watchman with metal detector. Security checks are more intense than in SEA.
- Finding the products you like from the west is tricky. There’s no Ikea, no H&M, no Burger King, basically nothing. Nakumatt supermarkets are some of the best in ug but they don't meet western standards.
- Credit cards are accepted only at upscale bars, restaurants and hotels; everywhere else you have to pay with cash.
- Do not take small USD banknotes (20$ or less) here. The exchange rate will be much worse.
- Hotels with western comfort cost as much as in the west. You can stay in a small guesthouse instead, but cockroaches, bed bugs and inadequate power and water supply make it a bad experience.
- Poverty is very visible, and begging on the rise.
- Due to bilharzia, Lake Victoria is not safe to swim.
I could go on and on, but this list gives you an idea of what a horrible shithole this is.
I will soon post datasheets of smaller ug cities as well as photographs and maybe even a lay journal. Till then feel free to ask questions in this thread or PM me.
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