[Dalaran1991]

I'm looking for a roommate and so far there are two solid choices:

One is a French guy who said he's coming to Paris for 6 months internship and eventually work there. Seems to be pretty rich and cool, and very interested in the place. Gonna call him tomorrow to see what's what.


Another is my best friend's best friend. A girl from Vietnam my country. Artsy type, haven't met but according to my friend she seems awesome. No, she is not THAT hot, which might even be a good thing.

Quite a dilemna. Obviously since I plan to stay in France long term (I'm not French), maybe having a French dude as a roomate might help with improving the language and being even more "local" with the culture? Might even make some new social circles out of it? And plus, having a guy roommate is pretty much straightforward.

On the other hand I guess it's comforting to have someone from my own culture? Though I've never had a girl's roommate. No idea what it would be like?

Is it a good idea to even have a girl roommate at all? Pros and cons? This one is hard to refuse due to the connection with my best friend. If I do take her what are the most important boundaries (aside from the obvious, respecting each other's privacy and properties?)

[The Lizard of Oz]

Take the French dude. Never live with a girl you're not fucking... girls make terrible roommates.

The French guy could be a wingman and even a friend if he works out, it's a win/win. And yes it will be good for your language skills and general adaptation in the country.

[WestIndianArchie]

Dude could be a hater.
Chick will definitely be a hater.

WIA

[StrikeBack]

Never ever ever share with a girl, doesn't matter how cool she is. It's like a bad marriage: all the annoyance with no sex.

[?Kick]

Avoid having a female roommate at all costs. I'm sure there might be some worthwhile female roommates out there but I've never had the pleasure of living with any. if you do start hooking up, it's essentially a one way ticket to an LTR as you're already living together. If it's a Roommates with benefits thing, that'll get messy pretty quickly if you bring different girls around and vice versa.
Opt for the French dude instead. It can be hard to break into any new culture, having a roommate from France has many potential benefits, which you've mentioned already.
Also another thing to consider is that social circle game is huge in Paris. Getting a better handle on the language will be a definite plus.

[Ronald Reagan]

Been answered already but yeah go with the dude, never shack up with females.

[N°6]

If you take a female flat mate over a man, you'll have more men visiting your flat than the one man who'd be living there as a potential new friend.

[Simeon_Strangelight]

(03-08-2015 04:17 AM)N°6 Wrote:  

If you take a female flat mate over a man, you'll have more men visiting your flat than the one man who'd be living there as a potential new friend.

First that and in France social circle Game and their inane group date settings make a French dude the better choice. You could host parties or go out together. Likelihood is higher, that you get along with him better, but you will know for sure when you meet him.

You can fuck the Viet girl later - you got her number.

[Saweeep]

Agree with the others.

As long as you screen the dude for epic cockblocking betaness, go for him.

[Cheetah]

Quote:

Is it a good idea to even have a girl roommate at all? Pros and cons? This one is hard to refuse due to the connection with my best friend. If I do take her what are the most important boundaries (aside from the obvious, respecting each other's privacy and properties?)

House rule for her, no male visitor other than immediate family.

You don't want her beta orbiters or lover to be running around in your apartment. If she can't live by that rule then go for the French guy. After all, if she does become your roommate she will be your de facto protectorate as you share the same background.

If she moves in, try to get her as your roommate with benefits or at the very least make her your wingwoman. If she doesn't accept that you are bringing other girls around, remind her that she is just your roommate and if she can't accept that and you don't want to go exclusive, tell her that it might be a better idea if she tries to find another place to live.

[iknowexactly]

I had a post bitching about my Norwegian cat lady roommate a year/few months ago here... against female roommates in general.

NO matter which sex, set rules on number of overnight guests. I've had female roommates that had their anti-social bad boy lovers move in, if you complain you're just the jealous loser. Male roommates have girlfriends move in too which sucks although 2-3 nights a week isn't bad. It's actually better if he's bit of a player ( but not a drunk see below) because then the girls won't start getting territorial with YOUR apartment.

Screening on education is good for male roommates as it tends to rule out heavy drinkers and sociopaths. If he is going to have a demanding job that is good he has to get up each morning and can't keep you up at night.

The risk with women is bitchiness and her Betas coming around, and that risk is somewhat higher than a guy having high substance abuse risk or sociopathy.

I've had two really bad male roommates-- one was a motorcycle racer and not surprisingly a sociopath, would lie and say he left the rent check on the table etc. One was a total drunk who would not remember what he did the previous night.

If she's from Vietnam and wants to be an artist she's either
--really rich ( ergo spoiled)
--insane as it is a poor country and she would be trying to make some money if she's rational
( or possibly a genius whom has been recognized.)

All are too risky as women don't have a sense of how to politely handle when a relationship goes bad.

The big thing to watch out for with the guy is if he's a big drunk. This isn't to hard to find out as I have found because big drinkers tend to be openly in love with alcohol and if you directly ask how much they drink they have a hair trigger and will start to openly be suspicious that you are a killjoy and start to be disparaging.

I had this happen with a potential female roommate- she asked "So you're concerned that I might drink too much?" "Right," I said. "OK, thanks," she said and hung up.

Drunks usually don't see themselves as drunks that's why they don't change it.
If he IS a drunk, ( one of the worst roommates I've ever dealt with was a drunk guy) it is seriously like dealing with two different people, the drunk and the human being. The drunk will blast his stereo at 3 am when you get up at 6 for work and the human being will apologize the next day, if they remember.

Men (unless they are psychopaths, addicts of some kind, or religious nuts) can realize they don't like each other without DEMONIZING the other guy, psychologically healthy males will just accept you are not going to be pals but still have basic respect for each other and just steer clear of each other a bit. Because male-male conflict has always had the potential to be fatal for either or both men, they are more skilled at keeping conflict down.

Also men seem to appreciate stuff like simple peace offerings like offering him one of your beers, whereas once a woman demonizes you in her brain she never misses a chance to spite you by refusing offerings of niceness.

Women just start hating you and continue to hate, or have a crush and if you don't like them it's pathetic.

EDIT: Also agree with other posters about getting an in in France-- You're probably not going to spend THAT much of your life in Vietnam, but France has pretty good QOL.

[Esus]

I have been in both situations, with only women roommates and with only guys roommates (in France).

Living with guys was way more enjoyable than with women. There were nothing wrong with my females roommates but we just did not do anything together, I lived my life they lived theirs. Also, do not necessary except to meet girls through your female roommates, most of the people my women roommates brought home were guys.

On the other hand, I had fun with my guys roommates, we sometimes had drink outside and went to parties together, even though we had each our own social circle.

There is also an advantage for you to have a french roommate if you plan to stay long term in France. You could improve your french with him (I don't know your level of French but unless you are perfect you can always improve), strengthen your network, get in a French social circle (as some posters mentioned above, social circle are important in France), have him explaining you a cultural aspects of France you don't know/understand, helping you to get French girls if he is good at it, etc...

[Nascimento]

One thing to think about is that it's harder to make good male friends than it is to meet girls. Not that it's necessarily difficult to do the former, it's just the latter is so easy to do.

Take the chance with the dude. You might turn out to be good friends and have some good times. Having a buddy to exchange war stories with is priceless.

[Cr33pin]

I fell into the lottery of roommates here in Lima once I moved from my private apartment last month. I did have a Russian feminist roommate up stairs and I would go up there and debate with her while drinking green tea out of my Uncle Roosh mug... when I grew tired of the debate I would just say something completely sexist and she would get mad and leave. But she would always invite me out to lunch and shit.

My least favorite roommate is a French guy.. He just smokes cigs, drinks beer, and listens to gangsta rap the whole time he is here. I usually chase him away from the downstairs which I have claimed as my domain.

The Peruvian girl who stays on my floor is awesome. Shes cute and nice and always washes my dishes. I have multiple girls over almost daily and theres no drama.

The guy who owns the duplex is a young Peruvian guy whos pretty redpill... we always talk bad about women and banging them and he tries to rent the rooms here to hot chicks so he can bang them to.

[Brodiaga]

I won't even live with a girl if I sleep with her. Having a girl I don't sleep with as a roommate? No way.

[Dalaran1991]

I'll have the French guy (he might be Italian, can't tell from the name) coming over next week to discuss terms. The Viet chick is pretty desperate to find a house, but yeah after what's been said here I think I better steer clear.

Great advice on here though! Thanks for the long post @Iknowexactly

[Cheetah]

You can't let her live there for just a week or so, helping out a friend of a friend who is in need. In the meantime make sure that you get to bang her. When the French/Italian guy moves in, the girl should already be out but kept in your rotation.

Even if you don't succeed to bang her, at least you've made a week worth of rent assuming that she can move in immediately.

Being a friend of a friend should be good social proof.

[Alpha_Romeo]

Another vote for the French dude. The language learning and social/networking potential would be too good to pass up.

I would suggest going out for drinks after discussing business.

[Simeon_Strangelight]

(03-08-2015 11:31 AM)Dalaran1991 Wrote:  

I'll have the French guy (he might be Italian, can't tell from the name) coming over next week to discuss terms. The Viet chick is pretty desperate to find a house, but yeah after what's been said here I think I better steer clear.

Great advice on here though! Thanks for the long post @Iknowexactly

And then some months later we have a thread titled: "How my French room-mate made my life a living hell and got me even in prison. Butt-raped by RVF advice."

[StrikeBack]

(03-08-2015 11:43 AM)Cheetah Wrote:  

You can't let her live there for just a week or so, helping out a friend of a friend who is in need. In the meantime make sure that you get to bang her. When the French/Italian guy moves in, the girl should already be out but kept in your rotation.

Even if you don't succeed to bang her, at least you've made a week worth of rent assuming that she can move in immediately.

Being a friend of a friend should be good social proof.

Good luck trying to get that bitch out after she's given both accommodation and dick.

[Cheetah]

^^^

She will run away when he brings home other girls and push for a threesome. If she's then still around she might just be a keeper.

[Sonsowey]

I had a female roomate and it was a positive experience. The worst thing was she took really long showers in the morning, but besides that she worked and was out a lot, really never bothered me, kept tidy, when we did talk it was pleasant and friendly. Never banged, or really hung out with her.

Of course, it seems like I was really lucky.

[WestIndianArchie]

(03-08-2015 11:31 AM)Dalaran1991 Wrote:  

I'll have the French guy (he might be Italian, can't tell from the name) coming over next week to discuss terms. The Viet chick is pretty desperate to find a house, but yeah after what's been said here I think I better steer clear.

Great advice on here though! Thanks for the long post @Iknowexactly

On the plus side, if she's straight from the motherland, she might cook!

WIA

[StrikeBack]

(03-09-2015 01:13 AM)WestIndianArchie Wrote:  

On the plus side, if she's straight from the motherland, she might cook!

WIA

Zero chance of that. A Viet girl who gets sent to study in Paris has to be from a filthy rich family back in the motherland, and she'd have had maids doing everything for her since she was born. $10 says she probably doesn't know how to boil water and make instant noodles.

The stereotype of sweet Asian girls who cook & clean comes from the middle and low class ones in their native countries, not the elites who send their children overseas to study. The latter are even more useless than your average white girl.

[Dalaran1991]

(03-09-2015 09:06 AM)StrikeBack Wrote:  

(03-09-2015 01:13 AM)WestIndianArchie Wrote:  

On the plus side, if she's straight from the motherland, she might cook!

WIA

Zero chance of that. A Viet girl who gets sent to study in Paris has to be from a filthy rich family back in the motherland, and she'd have had maids doing everything for her since she was born. $10 says she probably doesn't know how to boil water and make instant noodles.

The stereotype of sweet Asian girls who cook & clean comes from the middle and low class ones in their native countries, not the elites who send their children overseas to study. The latter are even more useless than your average white girl.

That's actually not too far from the truth. Jesus back at the time I was at my filthy rich college in USA there was this Chinese girl who didn't know that you have to close the shower curtain while showering and fucking flooded the goddamn toilet at the hotel we were staying. And she did that TWICE!!! When we had to told her bitch was like "Oh I didn't know!"... Wonder if she even wipes her ass herself growing up

Yeah now that I recall that I think I'll take any guy over a girl.

This Viet girl might not be THAT bad, she's from middle upper class, but zero chance of her cooking and cleaning, I would be happy she doesn't leave her panties lying around the bathroom.

Oh and if a woman can't cook better than I do, she isn't allowed to touch my kitchen. Food and booze is fucking sacred.