[raydallas]

So yesterday I sort of lost my virginity to this girl I met doing a course at university. First date was drinks in a bar, second date movie at my place with friends, third one getting coffee at the university library, fourth date was watching netflix at her place, we literally lay on top of each other (clothes on) for half an hour talking and kissing but I'm terrible at kino (which is also why I got my first kiss ever at our 2nd date) and she had to get up early so I didn't try to escalate further.

Anyway, we seem to be getting along just fine. Now what I'm wondering is, looking ahead because what we have is too short te be called a relationship but it seems to be headed that way, what to do for activities in relationships? I find all kind of date ideas in this forum, on Roosh' blog as well, but those all seem to be for the very first stages of a relationship. What to do when you're meeting twice - four times a week, which from looking at my friends circle seems to be normal? Looking at them, they mostly make dinner together and watch series, but from reading game literature that'd seem boring to girls.
I'd appreciate any and all suggestions.

By the way I'm meeting her next wednesday for a salsa sample lesson - she suggested this, I planned this this as 3rd date but she pulled an allnighter because of her thesis and slept through it. I could invite her over for movie night sunday at my (+friends, student house) place, was thinking of doing that today.

Also have a question about sex. Last year I went to see an urologist (varicocele, google it if you don't know what this is, it could be sabotaging your testosterone production) and the way he and his assistant touch my genitals feels like yet another day at the office (if that's the correct expression). It felt the same way when my date was caressing them. I'm not feeling infatuation, passion lust or any of that. Touching her doesn't feel 'special' in any sense either. Is this normal, or am I quasi-asexual? We didn't get to penetrative sex (we did try) because even after fingering her until she got really wet she was still extremely tight, so we just kissed, cuddled, and watched Seinfeld (thanks for the suggestion Roosh!) that I had on in the background for keeping my flatmates from hearing us. I feel happy with her but don't know if this is normal. I suspect it's because for the whole of 2015 I've been doing nofap, it's been progressively getting easier to the point that I'm feeling like my sex circuitry has gone dormant and I'd be fine being a virgin forever, but maybe it IS normal?

Last question - our 2nd date, she wore heels and perfume, our last two dates she didn't. She also ate more than I did at dinner twice already and didn't mind me staring at her weight on my fancy bodyweight scale. These are all bad signs, right? Outside of being the most attractive person I can be, I suspect there's very little I can do, I can't change her attraction to me by talking it out.

All thoughts appreciated.

[philosophical_recovery]

How attractive is this girl?

I'm not terribly picky with girls, other than wanting them to be thin. I've been known to date as low as a 6, but bang 5s. In the past, going on dates with girls that are 7s or 8s usually gets me oneitis pretty hard, but recently that hasn't been the case. That said, I've fallen hard for 6s at times, to the point where I start projecting future relationships (which never turn out that way...). But, if she's not really your type, or if you're not falling for her, that doesn't mean you need to toss her aside or anything, but for the love of god don't knock her up.

Keep it wrapped up. How receptive is she when you suggest things?

When you go to the salsa class, make sure you rotate (i.e. switch partners) and don't just cling to her the entire night. You may run into other girls there that trigger different emotions to you, or not. Chat up everyone and just be friendly.

Play this carefully, and be careful if you honestly think that she thinks she has you locked down and free to fatten up. Did you take her out to dinner or was this something else?

[raydallas]

> How attractive is this girl?

Very attractive and pretty IMO, 52 kgs (so about bmi 19), blonde, feminine voice+behaviour etc.

>but for the love of god don't knock her up.
heh, wasn't planning to have kids before 25 anyways (I'm 21 now), but I'll be careful.

>How receptive is she when you suggest things?
She writes pretty long messages on facebook, but never answers within a day, sometimes it takes several days. She seems to be abit conflicted on me.

> When you go to the salsa class, make sure you rotate (i.e. switch partners) and don't just cling to her the entire night. You may run into other girls there that trigger different emotions to you, or not. Chat up everyone and just be friendly.
I'll try, thanks for the advice!

> Play this carefully, and be careful if you honestly think that she thinks she has you locked down and free to fatten up. Did you take her out to dinner or was this something else?

It was dinner at her place, and dinner at my place twice already (making pizza, quiche). It's not a problem that she thinks she has me locked up imo, I'm seeing it as a sign that this relationship is going to end before it has even started. But outside of being the most attractive person I can be there's very little I can do I guess, time wil tell..

Any suggestions on activities? The making dinner is probably getting boring.

[philosophical_recovery]

(03-01-2015 08:18 AM)raydallas Wrote:  

> How attractive is this girl?

Very attractive and pretty IMO, 52 kgs (so about bmi 19), blonde, feminine voice+behaviour etc.

>but for the love of god don't knock her up.
heh, wasn't planning to have kids before 25 anyways (I'm 21 now), but I'll be careful.

>How receptive is she when you suggest things?
She writes pretty long messages on facebook, but never answers within a day, sometimes it takes several days. She seems to be abit conflicted on me.

> When you go to the salsa class, make sure you rotate (i.e. switch partners) and don't just cling to her the entire night. You may run into other girls there that trigger different emotions to you, or not. Chat up everyone and just be friendly.
I'll try, thanks for the advice!

> Play this carefully, and be careful if you honestly think that she thinks she has you locked down and free to fatten up. Did you take her out to dinner or was this something else?

It was dinner at her place, and dinner at my place twice already (making pizza, quiche). It's not a problem that she thinks she has me locked up imo, I'm seeing it as a sign that this relationship is going to end before it has even started. But outside of being the most attractive person I can be there's very little I can do I guess, time wil tell..

Any suggestions on activities? The making dinner is probably getting boring.

I went back and re-read your initial post and response. It's a hard read for me. At first, I thought you were dating a pretty chill girl, but I'm not sure. Is there anything she does that puts you off?

Girls need to be lead, and will eject if they are not feeling it. Other girls need it, but will come across as "boring" because they're just going with the flow of whatever you do. In that case, they are more of a mirror of you than anything else (note: I consider this a huge plus. Better a perfect mirror of you than an amalgamation of all the guys she's banged in the past).

It's likely that you need to sort out which case it is. Do something out of routine for you, that you're interested in, and see what happens. Pay special attention to if she asks you for specific help or directions or anything like that. Pick something that you think you can try confidently and have some bit of a starting upper hand on her (note: Salsa will likely not be the case for this, it's a lot easier for follows to learn to dance). If she defers to you, then this is a good indicator that she needs you to lead and will reflect that. If she starts telling stories or tries to go her own way on learning things, she's going to be difficult like that the entire time you're with her.

On another level, I think this is something of buyers remorse for you. You lost your virginity to this girl, and you're likely thinking: This is it? The best attitude to have is, with you or not, you're going to keep improving your life. Start coming up with things that you want to do. Learn about it. Test the waters a bit to see how enthused she is. The best outcome of this situation is you have a relatively steady stream of sex with someone who supports you. You likely still need to work on your social skills and gaming girls, but it doesn't need to be your primary effort. What do you want to get out of this?

I've been in a situation with a "boring" girl in the past, and I basically got her to do anything I wanted. I didn't really appreciate it at the time (I was 20-21 then), and I couldn't handle how much she had morphed into a female reflection of me after a year, because I was letting my own growth slide too much. If I had the same opportunity now, I'd work on all kinds of other things than chasing tail, like weightlifting (which I'm already doing, but I'd get her to help me make good meat/veggie/fruit meals) amongst other things. Pick things that interest you, not that you're doing to solely please her, and start forging a path.

This could be a blessing in disguise, or not. Some girls I really don't want anything to do with after one or a few bangs because I just don't get along with their personality, no matter how compliant they may be.

[raydallas]

>On another level, I think this is something of buyers remorse for you. You lost your virginity to this girl, and you're likely thinking: This is it?

Not sure I understand, your mirror analogy as well. I like this girl and want to be with her, I'm just wondering like I stated in the OP:

1. what to do for activities (I want to meet up with her this weekend but not sure what activity)
2. if sex being like this is normal, could it be due to not fapping for 3 months
3. what is up with her being overly comfortable (sweatpants, slippers, no makeup/parfum) around me, am I interpreting this right

If anyone is having buyer's remorse I think it's her.. If you'd have an answer for my first question that'd be great.

>Is there anything she does that puts you off?

Last time we met, she suggested another date 1.5 weeks in the future, I said I'd rather meet on another day because that exact day 1.5 weeks in the future was already reserved for some kind of activity. So that she doesn't seem to want to meet often at all even though she goes to university 15 minutes (by bike) from my place is off-putting but aside from that can't think of anything.

[Guitarman]

From reading the first post again, lying on top of each other fully clothed and a finger bang does not constitute losing your virginity. You need to bang this girl both to lose your v card and cement the relationship.

Invite her over for a seduction evening at your place. Wine, make her a nice dinner, watch a good movie together. ( I like one of the recent James Bond for this), then escalate on a comfy sofa and take things naturally to the bedroom. Make sure your room is clean and tidy, clean sheets on the bed etc.

[raydallas]

(03-03-2015 06:46 AM)Guitarman Wrote:  

From reading the first post again, lying on top of each other fully clothed and a finger bang does not constitute losing your virginity. You need to bang this girl both to lose your v card and cement the relationship.

Invite her over for a seduction evening at your place. Wine, make her a nice dinner, watch a good movie together. ( I like one of the recent James Bond for this), then escalate on a comfy sofa and take things naturally to the bedroom. Make sure your room is clean and tidy, clean sheets on the bed etc.

Sorry for being unclear, our last meeting, we lay on top naked for a while, cuddled naked while watching seinfeld (she's the little spoon of course), I fingered her for a while, massaged her, she got on top and tried multiple times to stick it in but it didn't go for more than 1 cm because she was too tight.

I understand that the whole bed thing needs to be better to really make her want to hang out with me (cement the relationship, as you say).

[Guitarman]

You need more/ better foreplay to loosen and lube her up a bit.