[J.Man45]

Ok so I dont know if this is already a topic but here goes...what's the weirdest shit you've put up with for the lay?

Mines goes like this. I'm doing a little traveling in South America and decide to get some action. Post up a badoo profile and after a couple weeks I get this chick hitting me up. From the pics she look good, big ass, nice breastases, cute face. She initiates contact mind you and I tell her let's meet up. She's down but flakes, as all these latin broads do, then she gives me some more shit tests. I don't put up with this so I don't text her back and erase her number. Four days later she texts me to go eat. It sounds like she's inviting me to her place so I'm like aight I see where this is going. I get my game face on and head to the address she gives me. Holy hell it was far. Whatever, I go into the apartment and lo and behold, the fams all here. I'm not one to hang with a girls family if I haven't even kissed her yet, but this is Latin America dammit, and sooner or later it's gonna happen. Might as well get it out of he way now. Oh but what's this, you got little junior over there who turns out to be her son. Ok no problem, I mean its just a kid right? Well we eat and she tells me that the apartment we are in is actually her cousin's. I'm like ok but know we're getting ready to leave, and the little guy has to come too. Now this is where it gets trippy. We reach her house and she opens the door and leaves the baby inside on the stroller, comes back out and says "let's go get beer". I'm not parent of the year or anything but what the hell? So we get to the store and buy the beer, head back to her house. Kids still sleeping in the stroller and we start making out. Suddenly the kid wakes up and out of nowhere she just gets up and pops that tittie out to breastfeed. While holding her beer in her other hand. Ha! I am flabbergasted at this peculiar scene and am tempted to hit the abort mission button but I pull through. The kid goes back to sleep and she takes him to her room, comes back to the living room and we do the deed. I myself am surprised I went trough it. We finish and shower and I'm about to leave when she tells me it's dangerous around her place at night. Damn. Ok so I'll sleep in the couch. No she says, come sleep with me and my baby. :-O abort mission is a go!
So what do you think fellas? Weird or just plain sorry? Share away

[Handsome Creepy Eel]

Quote:

nice breastases

Is this the holy grail of female beauty - a combo of breast and ass?

As for the story, it sounds weird, but not as cringeworthy as many I've heard. Some women just have no shame.

[CodyB]

Damn! What a first post.

Mine was losing some girls dad in Phuket one time. Dude was a militant Sikh Indian type as well. Ended up banging her and she 'found her dad' not long after. The fact she didn't have a local sim card gave her plausible deniability.

[MtnMan]

I met this girl on a first date from online. We meet at a dive bar, I order drinks, she tells me she can't drink because of migrane meds.

I think "ah shit, its sunday afternoon and she can't drink, I should abort".

I decide to push on because she is super cute, friendly and seems to be digging me. We play some pool and I come up with an excuse to go check out her apartment. We are hanging at her place and things get hot and heavy....

She stops me and asks if I have on deodorant...I say yes.

She asks if I could go wash it off because she doesn't like how it smells, and proceeds to find me a washcloth. She was nice about it, so I obliged, and got the bang.

I found myself trying to contain my laughter while looking at myself scrubbing my armpits with a washcloth in a strange girls apartment.

[Oz.]

First post

[Hotline]

I had a similar experience a few years ago. I was at a bar and approached a girl and her two friends. Smooth sailing, nothing unordinary. Towards the end of the night I suggest we leave. We decide on her place, and since she drove we get in her car.

She lived in an apartment complex in the suburbs. Right before we get to her door, she says, "just so you know my parents might still be awake." We enter a 2 bedroom apartment, and sure enough her mom and dad were sitting on the couch watching TV in the living room.

This was where it got weird. The girl said she wanted to go change and was talking to her mom, leaving me to make small talk with her dad. This was at 1:30am and I had had several drinks at this point. Under normal circumstances this would probably be pretty awkward considering I had just met the girl, but the dad was as nice as could be.

10 minutes later the parents go to bed, we go in her room. She was pretty loud too. What surprised me most was that it felt completely natural, the entire time I just thought it was funny and a little surreal how the interaction unfolded.

[getdownonit]

(02-27-2015 04:15 AM)J.Man45 Wrote:  

first post

[Rutting Elephant]

I fear for this thread.

[WestIndianArchie]

redacted

[Ingocnito]

(02-27-2015 12:59 PM)WestIndianArchie Wrote:  

So I meet a girl @ the job. Let's call her Darla. (I think she was HAPA, but she might just been Latina. Every Latino crew has one person that can pass for Asian)

Looking back on it, Darla might be a strong 6. But she had a great personality, great style, very outgoing. We worked in diff parts of a huge office complex, we have diff functions.

Cool, Friday, 9 pm.

She calls me @ 8:30 pm. "hey, my girl is going through something, I need to be with her, you can come along, or we can rain check"

Son of a bitch.

Given that I had nothing to do, and I couldn't keep my thirst down, I decided to go.

So Darla is there, as is her weepy friend Charity. Charity is/was getting a divorce, a single mom.

Charity is probably on Darla's level, just skinnier but with perkier tits.

Anyway, I pour on the charm.

I make them laugh. I think I even do the best friends test.
They're drinking and having fun. Good times for all involved.
Kino on my target, Darla, and brotherly/fatherly touches on Charity to help console her.

I figure if I cheer Charity up, me and Darla can drop her off.

So we hit the spots. We dance. Them hoes sandwich me like a macaron.
And of course, I know how to dance, both chicks are having fun.

As per the formula - meet, activity, bounce to location 2. We bounce to location 2, grab some vittles. So Darla asks Charity to take a picture of me and Darla. I pull my chair closer to Darla and lean in to each other, both cheesing.

Charity complies.

Then Charity hands the camera to Darla and asks Darla to take a picture of me and Charity.

Charity then jumps in my lap, arms around me....

Cool?

Pay the bill, time to drop Charity off. Charity is fairly drunk, so she's leaning on me. To get to the car.

Everyone drove, so a 3 car caravan back to Charity's spot to drop her off.

We get in Charity's apartment, and then her and Darla talk for a quick second, and DARLA LEAVES. So I'm there with Charity, who is attractive, but not my type.

She puts the moves on me....well that's all she wrote.

WIA

WIA, you fell victim to a "charitable" lay. Consider it a donation at a "charity" function. Whoa, I just had to....

[WestIndianArchie]

redacted

[kinjutsu]

A few years ago i was on craigslist looking for strange.
I replied to an ad for a girl looking for a good time.
She replies like normal, exchange pics and shes excited to see that i'm black. Then gives me her address and ask what time I'll arrive.
It's kinda far so i say about 30 minutes.
I arrive and text her from the car, she tells me to not come to the door yet she's selling some drugs...
A guy leaves the house and she says it's cool for me to come to the door.
She opens the door wearing a nightie and looks like her pics for the most part.
As i take off my shoes and turn the corner i see a huge fucking flag with a swastika on the wall in her living room...
For a few seconds i thought my ass was gonna get stomped out by some neo-nazis.
She says her bf is a neo-nazi but out of town for the weekend and it's just her and I.

I sit on the couch and she takes off my pants and goes to work.
This black cat comes up to us and she introduces the cat to me as "nigger"...
I'm fucking speechless but i give a fake laugh.
We start fucking and she's saying some fucked up shit like "fucking me with that nigger dick of yours"
I never busted so fast on purpose. The entire time i expected some guy to jump out of a closet and kill me.

As i'm driving home she texts me saying how she wants to fuck again before her bf gets back into town....
I've never told anyone i personally know about this story. It's just too fucked up for reality.

[Hankk]

@kinjutsu Man these experiences are what we live for. I laughed reading this.

I once took home a gym girl and as we were having drinks at my place she looks at me and nonchalantly states..." i am a gym girl and i prefer big muscular guys over footballers (soccer) but you can fuck me". She drops down her shorts and goes on her knees on my sofa and says "have your way and if you want a bj first just say so". I am in absolute bewilderment and soft because she made this move literally mid conversation about music or some such. And i say, "yeah nice ass but blow me first". She did and i banged her. After that she just said "can you call a taxi for me". She exits and says "nice fucking you and no i do not want your number". I sit on my sofa, shake my head and finish my drink then go back to bar i found her to meet my mates.

Summer in Finland, nice!

-Hankk

[Suits]

(02-27-2015 04:15 AM)J.Man45 Wrote:  

Mines goes like this. I'm doing a little traveling in South America and decide to get some action. Post up a badoo profile and after a couple weeks I get this chick hitting me up. From the pics she look good, big ass, nice breastases, cute face. She initiates contact mind you and I tell her let's meet up. She's down but flakes, as all these latin broads do, then she gives me some more shit tests. I don't put up with this so I don't text her back and erase her number. Four days later she texts me to go eat. It sounds like she's inviting me to her place so I'm like aight I see where this is going. I get my game face on and head to the address she gives me. Holy hell it was far. Whatever, I go into the apartment and lo and behold, the fams all here. I'm not one to hang with a girls family if I haven't even kissed her yet, but this is Latin America dammit, and sooner or later it's gonna happen. Might as well get it out of he way now. Oh but what's this, you got little junior over there who turns out to be her son. Ok no problem, I mean its just a kid right? Well we eat and she tells me that the apartment we are in is actually her cousin's. I'm like ok but know we're getting ready to leave, and the little guy has to come too. Now this is where it gets trippy. We reach her house and she opens the door and leaves the baby inside on the stroller, comes back out and says "let's go get beer". I'm not parent of the year or anything but what the hell? So we get to the store and buy the beer, head back to her house. Kids still sleeping in the stroller and we start making out. Suddenly the kid wakes up and out of nowhere she just gets up and pops that tittie out to breastfeed. While holding her beer in her other hand. Ha! I am flabbergasted at this peculiar scene and am tempted to hit the abort mission button but I pull through. The kid goes back to sleep and she takes him to her room, comes back to the living room and we do the deed. I myself am surprised I went trough it. We finish and shower and I'm about to leave when she tells me it's dangerous around her place at night. Damn. Ok so I'll sleep in the couch. No she says, come sleep with me and my baby. :-O abort mission is a go!
So what do you think fellas? Weird or just plain sorry? Share away

[Ingocnito]

I'm sure this isn't entirely unique, but 10 years ago I was bangin a MILF on her living room floor of her apartment. She had a 3-yr-old daughter she put to bed about and hour earlier. 15 minutes into the bang I look back over my shoulder and her 3 yr old kid was standing there for who knows how long watching us with a bewildered look on her face. I alerted the mom whose butt naked as am I, and she takes the kid back into her room, not even long enough to get her back to sleep.

I asked:"Are you sure she's asleep, that wasn't very long to get her back to bed. Her response:"Yea she'll be fine." We start going at it again, and 5 minutes later, same shit happens. But THIS time she says:"Oh just hurry up and finish, here pull this blanket over us, she's too young to remember this." My dick went limp in an instant and I said;"Yea, I'm not comfortable having another man's seedling staring us down as I'm bangin you out." Have a nice evening. I clothed up and bolted. These sluts have no shame at all..

[Brian Shima]

I met a girl years ago and set up to go to her house.......the house was a trailer in the boonies with metal rooftops. It looked like something from a Texas Chainsaw Masscare or a Brazilian ghetto....we do our deed in her room and she goes out to get something from the kitchen....All of a sudden she starts screaming and some old guy is screaming like an old dude who can barely breathe....her grandpa is on the floor bleeding from a nasty cut on his arm and is hooked up to an oxygen tank, she is in her bra and short shorts and her obese mom is holding onto to the grandpa like a mom cradles her baby.....I help them lay him on the couch and make sure 911 is on the way before getting back on the road..

[LINUX]

(02-28-2015 04:32 AM)kinjutsu Wrote:  

I sit on the couch and she takes off my pants and goes to work.
This black cat comes up to us and she introduces the cat to me as "nigger"...
I'm fucking speechless but i give a fake laugh.
We start fucking and she's saying some fucked up shit like "fucking me with that nigger dick of yours"
I never busted so fast on purpose. The entire time i expected some guy to jump out of a closet and kill me.

That's awesome. Funniest thing I've read in a while.

[Sourcecode]

I thought I smashed some weird girls..
But I guess I was wrong

The only story I have was when I was smashing a girl that just moved to a new place so her mattress was on the floor and she had three large breed dogs.

The dogs just layed in the room and watched as I fucked their owner

[J.Man45]

@kinjutsu Hahaha that's some funny shit. That forbidden fruit was all she needed