[ordinaryleastsquared]

This is more of a motivation post. I live in mid size city where people tend to marry after college, settle down, and a few years later start up their families.

For whatever reason (maybe I'm getting into typical fathering age), I've been paying more and more attention to observing the male/female dynamic with these couples, and one thing really strikes me: they almost never seem happy. Hell, typically they don't even speak to each other unless it involves the child.

There was a couple sitting next to me in the cafe today who literally did not speak to each other the entire time they were there. Not a word. I also tend to notice a sort of defeated look in the mans eyes. I'm sure they love their children, but I think the day to day of it is just grueling, and the women don't make their lives much better.

As much as dating multiple girls and dealing with flakes, shit test, BS wears me out (this weekend especially) when I really consider the alternative, I have no doubt that I've made the right decision.

If you're ever feeling the same, look at guys in their late 20's and 30's (a guys prime) that have kids and really ask yourself if that is what you want. Also look at their wifes.

[CleanSlate]

(02-22-2015 10:08 PM)ordinaryleastsquared Wrote:  

I also tend to notice a sort of defeated look in the mans eyes.

^^ This.

As recently as 3 months ago, I was that man with that defeated look in his eyes. I can recognize that look every time anywhere. I know that look. Because I have been IT.

I'm kind of pissed at myself for wasting my prime years 30 to 35, but I can take consolation that I am not going to waste my peak SMV years 35 to 40 away in a miserable sexless and/or cuckold marriage.

We are better than this, and we ought to give ourselves the freedom and the life that we both want and deserve.

[MY DETROIT PLAYAS]

Any married guy who has kids knows this feeling

Once the baby comes, their once doting and wife who has turned ALL our her attention & affection to the child but it's just her following her genetic code. Show me a woman who is good at the balancing act and I might be tempted to put a ring it. The majority aren't...

Being fair, there is a natural adjustment you make when you have an addition to the family (especially if it's the couple's 1st child) but us men expect that things will go back to normal soon enough

Problem is - wifey never seems to get that memo

[arcterex]

I've noticed that the guy usually trails behind his woman when walking together. She has a more confident gait, her back and posture is straight up and masculine in nature. The guy is trailing a step or two behind, chin further down, and more of a slump in his posture. It is depressing how often I see the woman leading and in charge. Could be because we inhabit a world where 20-something, even 30-something women are considered higher status than men in many cases. I bet blue pill men just get outpointed all the time and accomodate themselves to it.

I've also noticed the long-time GF or wife snaps at the guy routinely. I was walking on the sidewalk and heard a man telling his GF a story. She snapped, "Not impressed. I've heard that before". He was just silent and continued trailing behind her. Only with older couples where they're in their 40s or 50s do I see the man taking a leadership role, and even that's some percentage of all couples.

[ordinaryleastsquared]

(02-23-2015 12:11 AM)arcterex Wrote:  

I've noticed that the guy usually trails behind his woman when walking together. She has a more confident gait, her back and posture is straight up and masculine in nature. The guy is trailing a step or two behind, chin further down, and more of a slump in his posture. It is depressing how often I see the woman leading and in charge. Could be because we inhabit a world where 20-something, even 30-something women are considered higher status than men in many cases. I bet blue pill men just get outpointed all the time and accomodate themselves to it.

I've also noticed the long-time GF or wife snaps at the guy routinely. I was walking on the sidewalk and heard a man telling his GF a story. She snapped, "Not impressed. I've heard that before". He was just silent and continued trailing behind her. Only with older couples where they're in their 40s or 50s do I see the man taking a leadership role, and even that's some percentage of all couples.

That's an interesting point. I think a lot of guys, deep deep down, are 'red pill'. But they walk into the traditional, subversive relationship way too easily, only to realize after the fact that their picture perfect wedding/wife is not what they thought they were buying. But they resist change because of the kids and social acceptance.

The man can regain his leadership role only after his kids get older and his wife passes 'the wall' and losses her ability to attract mulitple better suitors. This assumes a best case scenario where the wife sticks with the program, and thats pretty rare these days..

I wish I saw this as clearly as I do now when I was 23.

[CaptainCrazy]

Have you ever been married?

Do you have kids?

I got married at 23 (almost 39 now) and my daughter was born when I was 26.

You are generalizing the shit out of it. If you see a bunch of defeated losers with kids they didn't want, it doesn't mean everybody is like this and being a playa is a superior way of life.

[Simeon_Strangelight]

(02-23-2015 02:55 AM)CaptainCrazy Wrote:  

Have you ever been married?

Do you have kids?

I got married at 23 (almost 39 now) and my daughter was born when I was 26.

You are generalizing the shit out of it. If you see a bunch of defeated losers with kids they didn't want, it doesn't mean everybody is like this and being a playa is a superior way of life.

That's true. There are happy strong masculine Red Pill fathers out there. You see more of them in non-Western countries even in FSU/EE countries. It's just that most men now are automatically cowed into submission and are living within the frame of their women. Also the pressures of having to make enough money while getting no appreciation for their trouble is beating the poor buggers down.

I know some men personally who love being fathers - well-off men with huge SMV - they enjoy the time they can spend with their children. Financially they don't feel any pressure at all since they make decent cash or are millionaires. And it's possible to have a happy marriage - I know one such Alpha-father who gets dragged to bed daily by his still-hot and in shape wife for sex, because she is addicted to his dick after over 10 years of marriage. He looks very young for his age and is 48 now, so he married at age 38.

Probably most men are not designed to be Players for life, but ALL MEN NEED GAME and have to create a frame where the wife and children will live in. Currently it's women dictating everything and they are just generating a crappy experience for everyone including themselves. All that empowered strutting you describe of those young mothers are just for show. It's like a dog who leads during the walk and tries to be the leader of the pack - he does the best job possible, but he is just a dog and is ultimately lost in our world. Women are born followers and not leaders.

You should see how an Alpha walks with his family - sometimes you see those guys in the open and it's a sight to behold. He and hot wife in front, even hotter teenage daughter following demurely behind not feeling ashamed to be going shopping with dad and mom. I saw such a scene recently in a shopping mall and even pointed to it as I went Daygaming with a friend.

[Hardy Daytona]

Coincidentally, I was on my way back from the gym this afternoon when I heard a screaming child at the back of the bus that refused to pipe down no matter how much it was coddled by its mother.
Well, some people call them children. In my own life I call them Reasons For A Vasectomy.

[Cobra]

This whole thing about guys losing steam after marriage and kids is just a manosphere myth and also selective bias. Plenty of guys here that are anything but.

To be honest I enjoy time with my kids immensely. It's about the one thing I look forward to every single day.

I think this is another case of "thinking too much into it" OP.

[Simeon_Strangelight]

Cobra The Father:

[WestIndianArchie]

I've seen all the scenarios
- pissed off mom, happy dad
- happy mom, happy dad
- happy mom, pissed off dad
- pissed off mom, pissed off dad

All my boys are happy they had kids, even if it was unexpected.

Only some of them are happy that they got married though.

I also grew up with a bunch of guys that didn't have their own fathers in their lives, so it's understandable that they'd be somewhat happy with the marriage, happy with fatherhood, and willing to do what it takes to raise their children happy and healthy as possible.

WIA

[ordinaryleastsquared]

(02-23-2015 08:00 PM)Cobra Wrote:  

This whole thing about guys losing steam after marriage and kids is just a manosphere myth and also selective bias. Plenty of guys here that are anything but.

To be honest I enjoy time with my kids immensely. It's about the one thing I look forward to every single day.

I think this is another case of "thinking too much into it" OP.

Sure. I didn't mean for this post to be outright critical of having kids.. part of me wants to be a father someday as well. I'd guess most dads on ROV are a little ahead of the curve on life, and probably better off in most aspects, including how to raise children/deal with marriage.

My point was purely based on my own observations, and I would still encourage guys to pay attention to this dynamic and take from it what they can.