[Indyone]

So I met a girl at the bar about 3 weeks ago on a Friday night, we talked for over a hour (she stepped away from her group of friends to do this). Even when her guy friends asked if she was "okay" and tried to pull her back she would respond "I'm okay here". At the end of the conversation she reaches out her cell phone and inputs my number and asked for the spelling of my first and last name. She also gave me her number. She did tell me to call/text her within 7 days of else she would just forever forget about me. I texted her the next day at 4pm and we briefly exchanged text messages, but I didn't text her later in the evening since I was out prospecting for new leads. Anyways, I had a couple drinks after a date on Tuesday night and I was driving home, I called her. However, I think I came off too strong/arrogant douchebag persona and she was more of the innocent type. She texts me the next day "Hey I think you're a nice guy, but I'm not feeling the chemistry. Hope you understand" to which I respond "We're all good! Best of luck on everything".

Two weeks go by, I cold turkey it and I sent her a funny meme and said "If this makes you laughs, can you we acquaintances? Not random at all, completely platonic" to which she responds favorably and says hahah yes. We exchange about 20 text messages each (for the next 2 days), full of witty banter so I can see she's putting in some effort leading me to believe this is a good sign. She's an attorney so I know she's VERY busy. I only did this because I felt some really strong chemistry with her at the bar and wanted to try this. This is a girl I would sincerely date.

Last night, I bumped into her and her group of friends. I gently played games with her and we "meet again" for the first time. However, towards the end of the night, I see her making out with some dude on the couch. I'm not sure who he is, stranger? Ex boyfriend? but that was a big turn off because I thought she was one of the 'good girls' and 'innocent', but apparently I'm wrong. For the first time since college years, I feel heartbreak. Am I being a big pansy? I barely know this girl, but I feel this certain way about her. Anyways, since she agreed to be 'acquaintances' should I still ask her out to happy hour? How many days should I wait? She didn't see me making out with this guy...

Has anyone had any success stories with reviving these type of dead leads? I mean she's really worth it in my book and of course I've competed against other guys before for a girl. I'm not sure if I'm ready to stand by and roll over just yet.

[HighSpeed_LowDrag]

Next her. Go wheel other girls - your last paragraph indicates acute onset of oneitis oncoming. Believe me, she's not thinking at all about you. Why give her the satisfaction of knowing the converse isn't true?

Charge it to the game and move on.

HSLD

[Fortis]

She overtly rejected you via text. It's rare that women go all overt like that. I wouldn't even wish her good luck. My go to reply is "K." it's perfectly trivializing and dismissive at once. Don't let that hoe play you.

[Rawmeo]

The best reply is indeed "k".

She doesn't give a fuck about you, so you should do the same. She rejected you. It's not a Lead, it's a stranger you briefly talked to. She's now making out with someone else.

Just forget it. Game on.

[Isaac Jordan]

This belongs in the Newbie section.

Indyone, you have been friend-zoned. This girl is not attracted to you, and has explicitly stated so ("I think you're a nice guy, but I'm not feeling the chemistry").

Even when she had the chance to talk to you again the second time you met in person, she ends up making out with SOME OTHER GUY instead. How much more evidence do you need to realize it's not going to happen?

I'm not sure why you would think A) that you came off as an arrogant douchebag (she called you a "nice guy" which is pretty much the exact opposite) or B) that she is an "innocent type" of girl-you have zero evidence of this.

You have developed a crush on this girl (what we in the community call "oneitis"), and it's affecting your ability to think straight. Forget about her, it's not going to happen.

Spend some time here on the Forum soaking up knowledge, and then get back out there and approach other women.

[OregonToSoCal]

The first thing I thought of is during your initial text conversation with her why did you not set firm planes for the two of you to meet for a drink? I think that's where she went cold. She spoke to you for an hour when you first met, she asked you to contact her soon and then you dropped the ball and didn't make plans with her. Like the old sales people always say, the phone should be for setting up dates and confirming logistics only. You must strike while the pussy is hot or she will go looking elsewhere.

[haywire]

(02-22-2015 01:05 PM)Indyone Wrote:  

At the end of the conversation she reaches out her cell phone and inputs my number and asked for the spelling of my first and last name. She also gave me her number. She did tell me to call/text her within 7 days of else she would just forever forget about me.

It's a subtle hint at her dominant and go-getter personality, very typical of attorneys.

Quote:

However, I think I came off too strong/arrogant douchebag persona and she was more of the innocent type.

It aint that you were arrogant/douchebag, rather you were not smooth enough and uncalibrated. Otherwise, as we all know girls LOVE strong confident men.

Quote:

Two weeks go by, I cold turkey it and I sent her a funny meme and said "If this makes you laughs, can you we acquaintances? Not random at all, completely platonic" to which she responds favorably and says hahah yes.

You pretty much gave her all the power, already surrendered your self into the friendzone.

Quote:

She's an attorney so I know she's VERY busy.

Attorneys are one of the WORST kind of women to date, read up more on the forum or ROK about them. Also, why do YOU care if she's busy?

Quote:

I only did this because I felt some really strong chemistry with her at
the bar and wanted to try this. This is a girl I would sincerely date.

Yeah bro, we've all been there. If you ever feel that you need to "sincerely date" a certain girl, you've already lost half the battle. Instead, the girl should be feeling that way about you. A successful LTR is one where the girl is way more into the guy than the guy is into her.

Quote:

Last night, I bumped into her and her group of friends. I gently played games with her and we "meet again" for the first time. However, towards the end of the night, I see her making out with some dude on the couch. I'm not sure who he is, stranger? Ex boyfriend? but that was a big turn off because I thought she was one of the 'good girls' and 'innocent', but apparently I'm wrong.

You saw the truth from your own damn eyes, now stop falling into the same old trap of "good/innocent girls". Let a girl prove that from her actions over a sustained period of time, not by what you think after meeting her just once. Till then treat them all the same way.

Quote:

For the first time since college years, I feel heartbreak. Am I being a big pansy? I barely know this girl, but I feel this certain way about her. Anyways, since she agreed to be 'acquaintances' should I still ask her out to happy hour? How many days should I wait? She didn't see me making out with this guy...

Hell yeah, man you're being nothing but pansy and have absolutely no power left in this interaction. Worse, it seems that you've happily handed over your balls to her when you say "she agreed to be acquaintances".

Quote:

Has anyone had any success stories with reviving these type of dead leads? I mean she's really worth it in my book and of course I've competed against other guys before for a girl. I'm not sure if I'm ready to stand by and roll over just yet.

Only thing you can do now is put her in the mass-text list, act cocky around her and then hope for a miracle.


So this was my assessment of your situation. Sorry if I was too rough, but perhaps this is what you need right now.

[Indyone]

(02-22-2015 02:17 PM)haywire Wrote:  

(02-22-2015 01:05 PM)Indyone Wrote:  

At the end of the conversation she reaches out her cell phone and inputs my number and asked for the spelling of my first and last name. She also gave me her number. She did tell me to call/text her within 7 days of else she would just forever forget about me.

It's a subtle hint at her dominant and go-getter personality, very typical of attorneys.

Quote:

However, I think I came off too strong/arrogant douchebag persona and she was more of the innocent type.

It aint that you were arrogant/douchebag, rather you were not smooth enough and uncalibrated. Otherwise, as we all know girls LOVE strong confident men.

Quote:

Two weeks go by, I cold turkey it and I sent her a funny meme and said "If this makes you laughs, can you we acquaintances? Not random at all, completely platonic" to which she responds favorably and says hahah yes.

You pretty much gave her all the power, already surrendered your self into the friendzone.

Quote:

She's an attorney so I know she's VERY busy.

Attorneys are one of the WORST kind of women to date, read up more on the forum or ROK about them. Also, why do YOU care if she's busy?

Quote:

I only did this because I felt some really strong chemistry with her at
the bar and wanted to try this. This is a girl I would sincerely date.

Yeah bro, we've all been there. If you ever feel that you need to "sincerely date" a certain girl, you've already lost half the battle. Instead, the girl should be feeling that way about you. A successful LTR is one where the girl is way more into the guy than the guy is into her.

Quote:

Last night, I bumped into her and her group of friends. I gently played games with her and we "meet again" for the first time. However, towards the end of the night, I see her making out with some dude on the couch. I'm not sure who he is, stranger? Ex boyfriend? but that was a big turn off because I thought she was one of the 'good girls' and 'innocent', but apparently I'm wrong.

You saw the truth from your own damn eyes, now stop falling into the same old trap of "good/innocent girls". Let a girl prove that from her actions over a sustained period of time, not by what you think after meeting her just once. Till then treat them all the same way.

Quote:

For the first time since college years, I feel heartbreak. Am I being a big pansy? I barely know this girl, but I feel this certain way about her. Anyways, since she agreed to be 'acquaintances' should I still ask her out to happy hour? How many days should I wait? She didn't see me making out with this guy...

Hell yeah, man you're being nothing but pansy and have absolutely no power left in this interaction. Worse, it seems that you've happily handed over your balls to her when you say "she agreed to be acquaintances".

Quote:

Has anyone had any success stories with reviving these type of dead leads? I mean she's really worth it in my book and of course I've competed against other guys before for a girl. I'm not sure if I'm ready to stand by and roll over just yet.

Only thing you can do now is put her in the mass-text list, act cocky around her and then hope for a miracle.


So this was my assessment of your situation. Sorry if I was too rough, but perhaps this is what you need right now.

I thoroughly enjoyed reading your feedback, it wasn't rough at all, I NEEDED to hear this instead of bs nice friends who sugarcoat their feedback. What's ROK? I'll search the forum on dating attorney women when I get back home later this afternoon.

[MY DETROIT PLAYAS]

In all honesty - it sounds like you are idealizing this girl based on her fitting your personal parameters of acceptability

Issac Jordan is 115% on point; she has directly shut you down (albeit) through text and the only reason she probably went on to continue exchanging some 20 odd texts over the next couple days was because she felt the pressure was off her and you would accept your friend zone existence

When a chick directly declines your advancements, it's time to take off the rose-colored glasses. The key is to keep a dignified distance until you really know what's up with any particular girl. Perhaps the initial buzz of the interaction made you overly optimistic. it happens.

Mixed signals from a girl is what apple pie is to America. It's what they do best

Turn this into a positive; at least she didn't waste much of your time. Some lizards will string you along and act oblivious when you finally do call them out on it. Best thing to do is to get back on the horse, and see the next situation for exactly what it is

[jariel]

(02-22-2015 01:05 PM)Indyone Wrote:  

However, I think I came off too strong/arrogant douchebag persona and she was more of the innocent type.

(02-22-2015 01:05 PM)Indyone Wrote:  

She's an attorney so I know she's VERY busy.

You're a newb, so I don't expect you to know the lay of the land.

First, attorneys are some of the easiest bangs on Earth.

Most are Type A personalities who know what they want and go after it -- there's a very small percentage who go into it for the greater good bullshit, and those are usually people who come from money and/or have very little debt so they don't need big firm money. When you want to bang an attorney, you have to strike when the iron is hot. The iron may have been hot the night you met her. She might have been down for a one night stand. When she was on some "put your number in my phone" shit, you should have been on some "your place or mine" shit.

Second, she's an attorney, forget about that "she's innocent" bullshit. Think about what an attorney does for a living and then ask yourself is that what an "innocent" person does?

Third, you looked real weak going back to her with some funny meme after she told you she wasn't feeling you. You think two weeks of silence changed that? Like she was just sitting at home alone at night, thinking about you? In between the time you met her and the time you texted, she had likely already taken several dicks.

Fourth, when you're meeting chicks at bars and clubs, you have to look at them as potential sex partners, not girlfriends. You gotta fuck first, date later. You're trying to shove jump-offs into dating category, when some women, like the attorney, are more likely to want to bang than share Cheddar Bay biscuits with you at Red Lobster. If she is worth dating, you'll find that out at some point, but that point should be after you've already laid down the pipe.

[WestIndianArchie]

You're in the friendzone.

She rejected you in no uncertain terms.

The typical get out of the friendzone advice applies
- she has to see you be excellent
- see you be excellent with women
- you have to disqualify yourself (use the friendzone against her)
- feed her details about how your other chicks feel when they're with you - and let her paint her own mental picture

or

- you withdraw, be excellent with chicks, reconnect on a lark.

Have I banged chicks that had "friendzoned" me?

Sure. But never as long term concerted effort project.
Word gets out, she sees me with hotter chicks, and some of these chicks will find a reason to talk to you.

"I needed your expert opinion on ..."

The best move here is to live your excellent life, give her a window into it if you want to.

WIA

[Cobra]

(02-22-2015 01:05 PM)Indyone Wrote:  

Am I being a big pansy?

Yes. Don't give into those tendencies.

Follow the advice you already got here.

[barnbarn2k]

Ive had similar things happen to me. Chicks think they know what they like. Busy women don't have the time to be seduced. That phone number was an invite for post bar slam. You didn't get to her fast enough and before done other dude did. That's the number one reason chicks go cold fast. They find other dick. It can be maddening at times but ya gotta bounce for now. She might give you another chance but i wouldn't wait around for it.