Quote: (03-11-2015 10:48 AM)Guitarman Wrote:
You're missing the point about extreme introversion. This is in effect a social skill disability and does by definition put an extreme introvert somewhere on the very mild end of the Autism scale. That does not mean she cannot come out of her shell and develop better social skills with much time and effort applied.
It just may be too much hard work for a player looking for a pump n dump or an addition to his harem.
^I assume you're talking to me since you drew a term from my post.
I don't think I'm missing the point at all. i specifically said that it's often not worth it for a short fling (aka pump and dump). This is just common sense; extroverted women are the easy ones to get in bed, and that's precisely my point.
But the OP did say he "genuinely liked" her (or thought he did); perhaps, I read that wrong, but to me that insinuates he might consider her for more than a fling if she wasn't acting so strange.
Regarding social disabilities, that doesn't bother me so much - for relationships. I've dated some extremely social women - in fact, I am dating one now - and I have fun with them. But I've also dated extreme introverts, and they have their strengths and advantages. They dig their heels in and get shit done. They're great at turning a house into a home and aren't so worried about what's going on beyond the walls.
Girls who are extroverted have more sexual partners, are more likely to cheat, are more likely to get divorced, and are more likely to be influenced by cultural norms or shit outside the relationship rather than follow your lead.
When I'm with an introverted woman, my own social presence seems to be enough to carry us through, and she typically gets a lot more social when she's around me, as I became a source of strength and stability for her (a lot of introverted women really admire an extroverted partner's social abilities). Once they know you're in their corner, they're able to gather more strength when out and about just by you being there.
Also, not all extreme introverts are Autistic - people are making that assumption about this one, but I don't think there's enough here to make a solid conclusion. There are a lot of things to be weirded out and overwhelmed about regarding society. Introverted people actually experience a hyper-exaggerated version of the world - and their senses are more easily overwhelmed. This isn't rhetoric; it is scientifically proven. They also tend to be more sensitive, both emotionally and physically. More on this can be found in this book here.
http://www.amazon.com/Quiet-Power-Introv...B004J4WNL2
Once you understand them a bit, they're worldview isn't so off-base. Just exxaggerated - depending on your own life paradigms, I guess. I know men who would look at the average club girl and cringe in disgust. She may be borderline Autistic, but it's hardly a given - you can't diagnose that from one post about her on a forum.
EDIT: I just caught your link about the autism scale. Doesn't really change any of my opinion. If all introverts fall somewhere on the autism scale, that kind of dilutes the meaning of the word to begin with doesn't it? They make up far too much of the population to write them off as dating material on that basis, and they still are preferable to extroverts as wives or girlfriends in a lot of ways.
Beyond All Seas
"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe.
To be your own man is a hard business. If you try it, you'll be lonely often, and sometimes
frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself." - Kipling