[blurb]

What do you do when you have strict parents?--Asian-style

[CJ]

Work hard so you can move into your own place?

[blurb]

What if they're so strict they never want you to leave the house?

[zanetti]

move out anyway

[Gmac]

(05-09-2011 04:19 AM)blurb Wrote:  

What if they're so strict they never want you to leave the house?

It doesn't really matter what they want. Once you're 18 you can fly the coop.

[Moma]

At the end of the day, you are your own man. A man must carve out his own destiny. Yes, respect and love your parents but you must be able to call your own shots.
A man's rightful place is at the head of the table. A woman will not respect you if you have to ask your parents for permission every time you want to sneeze.

[Dee9]

I have an Asian friend who dealt with this, was tough at first. They will talk to you and keep making it seem like the world is a cold dark place and that the "White males" are wasting their life. Do not listen to their lecture, ignore it and tell them you want to move out.

[Saladin]

The asian parents who are overprotective really fuck up their kids social life. I have seen it so often in Toronto, Asian guys who look uncomfortable and unsure of themselves. You have to venture out on your own and take responsibility for yourself so you can make mistakes and learn. Thats how you build self confidence.

How are your parents strict though? In which way?
Also, How old are you?

[SFTD]

Bring home an Indian girl... or a guy. Screw with them. You'll learn to be happy with yourself.

[Gmac]

(05-11-2011 08:56 PM)torontokid Wrote:  

The asian parents who are overprotective really fuck up their kids social life. I have seen it so often in Toronto, Asian guys who look uncomfortable and unsure of themselves. You have to venture out on your own and take responsibility for yourself so you can make mistakes and learn. Thats how you build self confidence.

How are your parents strict though? In which way?
Also, How old are you?

Yeah this is very true. Some of the most omega males I've met have been asians. When I was in Japan I saw this first hand. There are a lot of those very reclusive men in their 30s that play with blow up dolls, watch cartoons for girls, and never leave the house. I think there might even be a few documentaries on the subject.

[Seven11]

You respect your parents regardless, when you can contribute to the bills and household you can call shots either that you go off to college and live in the dorms or get an apartment.

One of my friends has super strict asian parents, so he spent all of his time out the house or working. He's a amature photographer and he's hella passionate about it which girls seem to love.

Maybe you have friends where you can crash whenever things are too thick at home and you don't feel like dealing with the frustration. But you should probably elaborate on your situation a little more than what you said above.

[Mrs. Chocolate]

You think by yourself. Sometimes is hard get out of home (bad economy).
Confront the issue, dont let it consume you.

[Enfant_Terrible]

(05-09-2011 01:56 AM)blurb Wrote:  

What do you do when you have strict parents?--Asian-style

So strict that they watch, control, and criticize your every move?

I moved out that's what I did. Talking / negotiating regarding our living situation is out of the question. As long as it's their house, it's their rules and they're right. So off I go, needed to do that anyway.

Depends on your situation, depending on how deep into tradition your family is...you might get a lot of resentment not just from parents but also from siblings who want to keep the family together. Ask yourself if you can handle the potential backlash of moving out.

But I think that every person should be free to decide what they should do with their lives regardless of what I think other cultures think of individualism vs. family community. Debatable if you're still a child, but I've come across young travelers (16 and below) where their parents had no issue of them hitchhiking around Europe.

Your call.

[Aliblahba]

My parents were very controlling and strict, but fair. It taught me to respect authority and kept me out of trouble. Unfortunately they were a little too overprotective and wanted to keep me around into adulthood. The unforseen wildcard was my courage to raise my right hand and swear an oath to the Marines.

Point is having strict parents is better than other alternatives, that are unfortunately becoming more and more prevailant.

[masterh]

I am Asian. You shouldn't ask question like this to people from different culture.
they will just make fun of it (eg: omg you are over 20 and still live with parents? lol) and it makes me embarrassed too
they won't understand and it's just different.
Well there are good and bad sides for kids moving out after 18 years old. it teaches them how to live on your own.

on the other hand, a lot of kids live irresponsibly. it looks like parents don't care if they live like a garbage since they are grown up. Tell me you would still do weeds if you were living with them.
Parents can't discipline them because they will hear something like 'WTF I am over 18!!)

Asians have culture of living with their old parents till they die. what about here? they throw grandma in elderly care and have them take care of.
It's just different......

[JofSuperman]

I'm in the same boat with strict parents. I still game 5-6 times a week, but my logistics are fucked up because of that. Waiting to move out when I go to a different grad school.

[chyamor]

If supporting them is the issue, work smart not hard, make bank where you can put a good down payment and still give them $$. Housing market is no where near getting better, you can find a nice 1 -2 bedroom in a city like chicago for 200k now, newly built. Wait another 1-2 years and those will be in the 170s. I plan on Low balling em to 150k by have a very nice cash upfront gesture. If you live in a less bend over for taxes city your set

[ersatz]

I had sexually strict parents too. You got to move out, because if you ignore their attitude and bring girls over (like I did), it will just create a rift. They'll hate it, but they'll learn to accept it. You can move out to somewhere near by and you'll still go over lots for free dinner, hang out, etc. Just say your a young man, and you need some of your space and that many many kids move out and go somewhere else for work or etc, and they should be happy that your near by. Make sure you live somewhere not close to their usual commuting paths.

Or this go a simple pickup attitude and never ever go to your place. It will fuck a lot of things up, but hey, it's better than doing nothing.

[misterstir]

^+1, its best to just move somewhere far, because those kind of parents will always say why dont you come home since you live so close.

[Deluge]

If you can't move out. Lie lie and lie. It's what I do with my Sri Lankan parents, although they seem to be cooler than yours. Then leave against their will ASAP.