[laurelhamlet]

TLDR:
Realize I should meet my neighbors. Lived here so long that I can't think of a natural way to do it. I don't wanna move cause my family's here.

--
Hello. I'm new here, though I've lurked a lot. I credit Roosh V and ROK with helping to change my whole view on life. I never knew how to be cool before but now I do.

'Cept it's hard. I realize now that family is most important. Im 26. I moved back with my parents about 8 months ago. My sister's away at school so it's just me and mom and dad. It's cool. But I only realized a little while ago that in a neighborhood it's not enough to just be on good terms with everyone in the house. You gotta be cool with everyone around, too. But I only recently realized that and I've lived here again for so long I can't just go around re-introducing myself and trying to talk and get to know everyone. (Or can I?)

I used to avoid my neighbors because I was a nerd in middle and high school. I felt I didn't fit in with the regular kids from the neighborhood. (I hung out with them but I gradually retreated into my 'studies' more and more up until college).

So I moved away to college and had some friends there, graduated, lived with my friends just fuckin' around and makin' rent. Started reading RoK and Roosh and realizing that all those dreams of "Fairness for all" and "Justice" and "Equality" that they teach in school and on TV were not real.

So I asked myself what is real? What has always been real? The only answer is family and self-survival. At all costs. Relative to the values of your family, your society, your tribe. So I was like what is my tribe? My parents moved here from Mexico. We live an hour or more from our closest family. We are Mexican but not exactly. What are we? What are our values?

I realized I didn't know. That I should go out into the neighborhood (mostly hispanic, lower-income suburban, working class, but everybody's doin' alright, some people probably even more than alright) and find out what everybody does. What it's like to make it here.

But by the time I realized that it was 2 or 3 months into me living here again. Before then I did as I always did in my youth, just casually ignore everybody.

But now I know I messed up. I should have gone and said "My bad for not talkin' to y'all before. I was too caught up with school. Now I know it was all a mistake. So what do you do? How have you made it in America? What kinda badass car is that? What y'all do for fun around here? Let's go do some of that." Shoulda. Didn't.

Everybody kinda knows who I am. Or at least that I live here with my parents. My parents know some people. I say hi to them. Next door neighbors, the ones across the street. But I dunno. It's been so long now I don't know how to just go over there and get in their business.

I tried with the ones next door. We kinda cool. But not enough. I always hear them outside chillin, bein' cool. Sometimes I wave hi. But after so many days not doing anything it feels impossible to just go get in the mix.

Feel like an outcast in my own village.

And it's my own fault.

I wanna live here. I wanna live like a little village where everyone knows each other, looks out for each other. That'd be a tough test of character with everyone judging you, knowing you, but that's how humans have survived forever. It feels so unnatural not talking to the people that live around me. But its so harrrrrrd to start now.

Like looking at a girl too long before making the approach. Might as well just let her go and go the next one. But I can't go to the next ones. I live here and these are the people right around me.

The only thing to do is to keep hangin' outside a lil' everyday. Casually say hi. Slowly it'll get better.

I don't wanna move. I don't make enough to get my own apartment in the city center. And I love being with my mom and dad. It's how roving native americans hunted, how vikings lived, how all the real people of all time lived. I just made the mistake of not making friends with my neighbors and the rest of the people around here when I first moved back. Now it's hard.

Suck it up and do it.

[Ronald Reagan]

Personally I don't talk to my neighbors because they just have no value to me. Most are blue-pill alcoholics and I don't want that in my life. In your situation I would start by going to the local church even if you aren't religious. Going to church allows you to meet some of the people in a friendly environment. Second to the church would be join your local recreation center. You are young and there will be plenty of other young people at the rec.

As for your game approaching, don't disqualify yourself by putting a false timeline on it. Approach bitches regardless of how long you waited.

[Dr. Howard]

^ I agree, go to to church before you befriend you neighbors.

Your neighbors are a roll of the dice...I do advocate that you do have intelligence on all of your neighbors though and just talk to the ones that you like. Also, tell all of them about the cool new 24/7 night vision home security camera system that your parents just installed....it will keep them on their toes if they don't like you either.

[Giovonny]

Get a dog. Walk the dog. Engage people in conversation.

[godfather dust]

I don't talk to my neighbors. Only time I've talked to them is when they bitch about me having too many people over or playing my music too loud. Fuck my neighbors.

[Laner]

Damn... really you guys dont have anything to do with your neighbors?

I could not imagine. While I might not be friends with them, we still enjoy having a chat, grabbing a beer or going over for a party.

Who takes care of the elderly?

I guess I grew up where people take responsibility for their communities and neighborhoods.

The decline of the community is one major reason women are flying halfway around the world to be shat upon.

*disclaimer: I have only lived rural and inner city. I cant speak about suburban USA.

[laurelhamlet]

(02-27-2015 09:14 AM)Ronald Reagan Wrote:  

Personally I don't talk to my neighbors because they just have no value to me. Most are blue-pill alcoholics and I don't want that in my life. In your situation I would start by going to the local church even if you aren't religious. Going to church allows you to meet some of the people in a friendly environment. Second to the church would be join your local recreation center. You are young and there will be plenty of other young people at the rec.

As for your game approaching, don't disqualify yourself by putting a false timeline on it. Approach bitches regardless of how long you waited.

Church sounds like a good idea. There's a few around here.

And that approach timeline is just what I remember from reading Neil Strauss all those years ago. I know now that the only rules are the ones I make for myself.

[laurelhamlet]

(02-27-2015 04:41 PM)1818Steve Wrote:  

Get a dog. Walk the dog. Engage people in conversation.

This is what I started doing the past few months. It worked alright. My dog died on Monday though. (Cancer. She was old, so it's OK).

Now I'm just gonna chill outside and play w a soccerball and think of a way to say wassup to my old acquaintances from youth.

Nobody seems too blue-pill. Everybody's Mexican and macho. And the white people got big trucks.

[laurelhamlet]

(02-27-2015 06:08 PM)Laner Wrote:  

Damn... really you guys dont have anything to do with your neighbors?

I could not imagine. While I might not be friends with them, we still enjoy having a chat, grabbing a beer or going over for a party.

Who takes care of the elderly?

I guess I grew up where people take responsibility for their communities and neighborhoods.

The decline of the community is one major reason women are flying halfway around the world to be shat upon.

*disclaimer: I have only lived rural and inner city. I cant speak about suburban USA.

This is what I'm sayin. That's what I want it to be like. That way there's always somethin' goin' on.

This is what I imagine my game to be like:

'Sup girl. Blah blah. You don't get along w/ ur family? That's cause America is fucked up. Come over to my house and I'll show you what real life is supposed to be.'

Then we go to my house where my mom's made some bomb food. Hang out with my dad whose got stories from all the travelin' and livin he did before he got married (at 35). Walk down the block and talk to the neighbors and get into the gossip and the mix. Spin old tales of Mexico. Chill in the front. Play with the lil kids, show off that goodwithkids game. Roll with the racer group, pass the ball to the highschool footballers, just be a mack in the hood.

Then honey will be lovin' me, invite her back when noone's home. Or even just chill til my parents go to sleep. Rinse, repeat.

That's the ideal life I'd live. Can't imagine doin' it on my own in the city when I know my parents are gettin' older and lonelier. So there's only one thing to do. Make it happen.

[rkIE]

In this situation, if you really want to build community and appreciation among your neighbors and make them open to getting to know you, here's what I would do:

Bake a fuck-ton of cookies or brownies or whatever. Food is the best gift, it's cheap and we are evolutionarily more appreciative of food gifts because we need food for survival.

Go to each house and give them a plate of freshly-baked cookies or a container of brownies. Maybe include a note about how you'd like to have dinner or chat with them sometime. Show that you care about getting to know them.

If you're serious about this, this seems like the most powerful/low cost way of getting them on your side and generating some positive relationships with them quickly.

[Laner]

(02-28-2015 12:06 PM)rkIE Wrote:  

In this situation, if you really want to build community and appreciation among your neighbors and make them open to getting to know you, here's what I would do:

Bake a fuck-ton of cookies or brownies or whatever. Food is the best gift, it's cheap and we are evolutionarily more appreciative of food gifts because we need food for survival.

Go to each house and give them a plate of freshly-baked cookies or a container of brownies. Maybe include a note about how you'd like to have dinner or chat with them sometime. Show that you care about getting to know them.

If you're serious about this, this seems like the most powerful/low cost way of getting them on your side and generating some positive relationships with them quickly.

Exactly. I remember doing this with my mom when I was a kid and hating it, but as an adult I do it still.

I just bought a place recently and when I moved in I brought over a six pack, wine, chocolate or tea. I let the neighbor choose whatever they wanted (I live in a mixed race area with a lot of Muslim people). It turns out that most cultures do this.

My direct neighbor is a shut in (early 30s and decently attractive Irish woman) but now she goes out of her way to talk with me, seems far more open in general. I am pretty sure having me next door has made her feel much more secure.

I also have a very attractive rich Asian girl, a crazy Alpha older cat who is married to an aging beauty but he plays hard still, three young students (two girls and a guy) and a young French family that travels to exotic and dangerous places for 6 months every year in a camper van.

I know my neighbors.

Its how it should be.

[laurelhamlet]

Met the guy across the street. Hard-nosed construction worker. Says he doesnt talk much cuz he wants to stay outta trouble. Seems cool though.

And the neighbors on one side. They just come out to water the lawn a little and drive to work.

These were no problem. The ones I'm concerned about are the ones that already know who I am but I never really talked to the last 10 years. I used to hang out with the kids when I was little but then I got a nerdy holierthanthou complex and stopped hangin out. These are the ones I'm havin' trouble with goin' over to say whatsup to. One step at a time.

[Suits]

(02-27-2015 06:08 PM)Laner Wrote:  

Damn... really you guys dont have anything to do with your neighbors?

I could not imagine. While I might not be friends with them, we still enjoy having a chat, grabbing a beer or going over for a party.

Who takes care of the elderly?

I guess I grew up where people take responsibility for their communities and neighborhoods.

The decline of the community is one major reason women are flying halfway around the world to be shat upon.

*disclaimer: I have only lived rural and inner city. I cant speak about suburban USA.

I think this is called "being Canadian."

Of course, maybe your experience differs.

Growing up in Ontario, we knew all our neighbours and had pig roasts that included the entire street sometimes.

[Kickb]

My favorite neighbors ever dropped the blueprint on how to befriend neighbors on me.

Be excited when you see them, be friendly, smile, be interested in them and ask questions. joke around.

Invite them over to hangout, drink/smoke, or to party wih you and your friends. Be a hospitable motherfucker!

Of course, since you have been there for so long and you have never interacted with them before, this behavior will probably be seen as HIGHLY suspect!

Thus, it is my reccomendation that you move to an apartment and start over.

[laurelhamlet]

Cant do it boys. Gonna need to move away at some point. It's really just the next door neighbors.
They always have parties and i should have just partycrashed months ago. Now it'd be like Kickb said above: HIGHLY SUSPECT. Perfect description. Goddammit.

Two reasons why its so hard for me :

1. I didn't think to do this until two or three months into living here. Now it's late.

2. These neighbors next to me i used to know them 10 years ago. And i did not ever try to really make friends. I didn't know i should.

My mom gave the brother and sister my age rides to high school. My school was a little farther (another dumb thing - went to a farther high school cause supposedly there was less hang activity... O to grow up an ignorant mommas boy.) all those times in the car id be talkin to my friend and nothin to my neighbors. And the little brother who was 7 years younger i used to play with but i remember pushing him down one time in front of his mom or somebody and thinking i was too cool for them. Thought they were dumb Mexicans (even though my parents were born in Mexico and i rooted for the Mexican soccer team). now the little kid is 19 and has a fast car and always has his friends over right next door havin fun, bumpin music drinking beer. Exactly the kind of neighborhood young G influences i need in my life. But I'm ashamed of the way i acted when i was young. And it's been too long now to go just hang out. Truthfully idont think they'd even care about that old stuff. But the times I've said hi shortly I'm thinkin of all that in my head and i probably come across as weird or a bitch. If i just came clean Itd be all good. But omg how embarrassing.

I know this is like whining but i don't talk to anyone about this. Gotta maintain some shred of cool.

Thing is i feel like they are the key to the whole neighborhood. I don't think they know everyone but they know alotta ppl.and everybody knows them. Theyre loud. Once i get them i can just chill with them, post and chop. Have a home base and then branch out on forays into the world, raids on people and their young damsels.

Or just move and stay over somewhere else. Gosh this is so gay. Thanks for listening bros.

[DVY]

Yea, I know all my neighbors but am not close with any of them.

1) Weird Persian dude
2) Old white couple w/new kids (def IVF)
3) Rich white couple w/college-aged son. Drives Tesla Model S + brand new LS460
4) Balling Mexican- Persian couple that have 5-6 kids. The house is a goddamm palace. I went over for the eldest daugher's 18 b-day. F-cking putting mini-green in the backyard.

Definetely nobody I would kick it with on the regular, but still friendly enough relations