[robreke]

I've got two women I'm chatting with now. One has said she likes paragliding. The other has hinted at horseback riding which I really have no strong distaste for though I've had some back surgeries and don't know about jostling around on a horse all day.

I'm not afraid of intense activity per se as I've done a lot of crazy shit in my life, some could be considered extreme such as kite surfing, deer hunting using climbing stands, lots of sports, swinging from rope swings when I was in college and getting flung out into the river and a lot more to mention. There's just certain activities in my life now, with the wisdom ( and injuries ) I've accumulated, that I'd rather not engage in.

What's the best way to respond to a girl you're seeing who wants to do something like go parachuting or paragliding or bungee jumping or something extreme that you'd rather not do without coming off like you're afraid to do it?

[jayyrod1]

"The last time I went paragliding/bungee jumping the chute failed/cable broke (insert imaginative story ensuing in injury). My doctor suggests I lay off that sport for a while unless I want to be paralyzed. "

[heavy]

(02-12-2015 10:18 AM)jayyrod1 Wrote:  

"The last time I went paragliding/bungee jumping the chute failed/cable broke (insert imaginative story ensuing in injury). My doctor suggests I lay off that sport for a while unless I want to be paralyzed. "

Yep, give her a cool story + injury.

Another key here: Indefinite time frame. It's not that you don't do the sports anymore, just can't right now.

[456]

It could be a subtle shit test -- if girls like this are stricken by you, they will mess their schedules up just to get one drink with you on a Monday to bask in your aura. High-investment dates like extreme sports should be post-bang, where you're more comfortable and Know each other already (Biblical sense).

[Saweeep]

(02-12-2015 12:05 PM)456 Wrote:  

It could be a subtle shit test -- if girls like this are stricken by you, they will mess their schedules up just to get one drink with you on a Monday to bask in your aura. High-investment dates like extreme sports should be post-bang, where you're more comfortable and Know each other already (Biblical sense).

Damn right.

I'd laugh at any girl that suggested we did something like that pre-bang.

Remember the most powerful word in the English language is "NO".

[ElBorrachoInfamoso]

Extreme sports are a good way to get them hot and ready. I'm not sure how this works for chicks who are already into those sports, but I imagine it gets them wet too.

[Saweeep]

(02-13-2015 04:20 AM)ElBorrachoInfamoso Wrote:  

Extreme sports are a good way to get them hot and ready. I'm not sure how this works for chicks who are already into those sports, but I imagine it gets them wet too.

Just thinking about logistics here for a second:

The last thing I want to do, pre first bang, is get a girl physically sweaty. It adds layers of unnecessary complications (given I don't like sweaty pussy):

She needs to shower after and re-do makeup afterwards. This has to be communicated before so she brings change of clothes and makeup. Where is this going to happen?

What if she decides she's gonna go home after and get changed; you've lost your momentum and she might not come back, especially if the activity is tiring.

[Beyond Borders]

I jump at shit like that.

But of course, if it's going to mess with your back, be smart. No need to make up an excuse - just tell her you don't want to fuck up your back.

Is your back that screwed up that you can't go paragliding though? It's not that rough and tumble (well, unless you get unlucky, I guess lol).

[Beyond Borders]

(02-13-2015 04:26 AM)CrashBangWallop Wrote:  

(02-13-2015 04:20 AM)ElBorrachoInfamoso Wrote:  

Extreme sports are a good way to get them hot and ready. I'm not sure how this works for chicks who are already into those sports, but I imagine it gets them wet too.

Just thinking about logistics here for a second:

The last thing I want to do, pre first bang, is get a girl physically sweaty. It adds layers of unnecessary complications (given I don't like sweaty pussy):

She needs to shower after and re-do makeup afterwards. This has to be communicated before so she brings change of clothes and makeup. Where is this going to happen?

What if she decides she's gonna go home after and get changed; you've lost your momentum and she might not come back, especially if the activity is tiring.

How about just having a good time? This stuff is fun. If a girl likes to do fun, crazy shit - all the better, I say, because it's one more motivator to get out of my room and doing stuff I should be doing with my time anyways. Not that I need her to get me going but one more positive influence and fun person to hang with sure doesn't hurt.

You can always take a shower before sex - though showering is often the last thing on my mind when I'm about to have sex, whether she's sweaty or not. If she cares about her looks at all, she'll be more worried about getting the makeup back on and getting cleaned up than you are about her doing it. And those tingles that leave her worked up after such an experience will last well into the day and night, so it's not like you have to capitalize immediately.

There's a real danger of overthinking this type of thing. Understanding logistics is great knowledge to have up your sleeve, but not every experience with a woman should be a cold, calculated bang. There's room for just having a blast with them too. Game is great, but there's a lot to enjoy in life besides, and it's not like you're ruining your own chances to get laid by enjoying that other stuff as well.

I've done stuff like this with multiple women (skydiving, bungee jumping, etc) and I've never walked away regretting it. Just talking about the possibility gets women worked up and sparks a bond between you, making it easier to get to know them better.

[Saweeep]

It just all sounds like way more effort than I would ever even consider investing in any woman before we'd hooked up.

Each to their own though.

[Beyond Borders]

I think we're just looking at it from different angles.

You're thinking effort with a goal. I don't see this as an effort at all because I'm more concerned with having a fun time than I am about banging some girl. That's largely the approach I take to my life though, which is one reason I've never dipped into the game stuff much - the nice side effect is that you're fun to spend time with so you end up reaping the rewards nonetheless (as long as you're not completely hopeless, game-wise).

But you're right that everyone approaches things different. I'm sure there are many more methodical guys whose game is a lot more on point than mine.

[weambulance]

I enjoy involving girls in the cool shit I do. It's not like I'm setting up some amazing romantic comedy date scenario just for them, I'm just doing something I would normally do anyway and bringing them along.

However, I don't like it when girls invite me to do their stuff; I'd rather counter with an offer to bring her along with me on an activity I do for fun. I'd best describe it as a framing issue: I want to be the one running the show.

I've never had good experiences tagging along with a girl on her planned adventure. Even when I was experienced in whatever it was she wanted to do, it still wasn't a great time because normally she'd have different ideas about how things should go than I did. And if she's doing it in a group of friends? Fuck that!

To boil it down, your frame should be "I am an interesting guy who does exciting stuff. You're invited to come along for the ride, but I'm driving." Express that through your actions, not direct words, by the way. Girls are naturally followers; men lead. So, lead.

As to the OP's specific question about declining the invitation, any number of options come to mind. You could just say you're not interested in whatever activity without giving a reason. Explaining yourself excessively is harmful to your game, because it comes across as defensive. Just say no, how about we do X instead.

Or, make up a humorous story. You don't want to go horseback riding because you have a blood feud with the local horse mafia leader, whose father killed your uncle in a turf war, and you're not sure which horses can be trusted. ...Possibly less silly than that, depends on your style I guess.

[Dr. Howard]

(02-12-2015 10:23 AM)heavy Wrote:  

(02-12-2015 10:18 AM)jayyrod1 Wrote:  

"The last time I went paragliding/bungee jumping the chute failed/cable broke (insert imaginative story ensuing in injury). My doctor suggests I lay off that sport for a while unless I want to be paralyzed. "

Yep, give her a cool story + injury.

Another key here: Indefinite time frame. It's not that you don't do the sports anymore, just can't right now.

I would amplify it a bit more like "my best friend died in a paragliding accident, it brings back bad memories". It makes her feel guilty for asking, makes you seem extremely mysterious and puts the power back in your hands even when you say that you are joking.

They usually don't bring it up again either, despite it being a joke.