[CleanSlate]

... I'm deaf. I do read lips and wear hearing aids. Before I go into traveling to practice game, I'll give some more background in order to help you help me

If you met me on the street and I started talking to you, you might either not understand my voice at first, or you might understand what I'm saying but would know immediately that my voice is different.

You might think I have some strange accent, even though I'm speaking English. But after a little while, you'll start to figure out what I'm saying... even though my voice is different. The reason for that is I did not learn to talk until I was 5 years old, and even then, it took a full decade of rigorous speech therapy to make my English at least 80% intelligible.

I communicate very well one-on-one, as I can read lips just one person at a time and when the person faces me when they talk, I can understand at least 70-90% of what they're saying if they enunciate just enough. My brain uses the context to fill in the blanks.

However, I struggle mightily in group conversations. Can't lipread more than 1 person at a time, and if in noisy settings like bars, it becomes virtually impossible. That's why the Mystery Method doesn't work for me at all. So my meat-and-potatoes game is pretty much either 1) online, and 2) day game. Social circle is also good, but those limited opportunities tap out very quickly. (An aside: I know online game isn't highly regarded here, but I gotta make the best out of the cards I'm dealt with, and I've gotten laid several times off match before - with women ranging between 5 and 8.5).

Now, onto the travel topic. In my divorce thread, some posters were telling me to get out there and travel. I wholeheartedly agree, and I am looking at options. As soon as I collect enough bank, I will book some trips. Not to just one place, but multiple places over the next few/several years.

My concern is that when I travel internationally, it is MUCH harder for me to communicate with people, even in English speaking countries. The reason is ACCENT. Even in England. Although we speak the same language, their accent makes it really tough for me to lipread and understand them. Germany and Spain is much tougher than England for me. Romania, Poland - forget it. Could not understand a single word they say. (Yes, I've been to all those places in the past 5-6 years on business.)

I can only wonder how harder it will be if I go even farther to SEA or places like that. Don't get me wrong, I would love to go to SEA - I've never been and even if no lays result from a trip there, I would be happy to have been to some exotic places there.

What do you all think? I feel like I should know this, but I don't - is there a way I can use my deafness to my advantage when traveling internationally? Gesture? Use my hands to communicate - not like a stupid mime - but you get the idea?? I don't like gesturing too much with American girls because it tends to scare them, unless they know sign language.

[Kissinger2014]

You should think about traveling to clear your mind, not to game girls.

As someone who has travelled quite a bit, and has improved his game in fits/starts, I agree with what Roosh has written before: traveling isn't some magic bullet to help you get laid. If you were having problems getting laid in the U.S., you'll have problems getting laid in a foreign country. It's not 1982, when women were dropping their panties at the sight of an American passport.

I've heard going through a divorce is a financial strain, even if you don't have to worry about alimony. Make sure you're finances are right, and you're set with living your new life before abroad.

[jimukr104]

Not sure overseas but I would think in club game if you isolate a girl you would do good. You can read her lips in an environment where 90% of guys can't hear her.Makes you special.

You also probably from a distance can read their lips learning things about them before you approach. Kind of like 'Something About Mary'

[The Lizard of Oz]

Delete, PM sent.

[Brodiaga]

A few points:

-I recommended the Philippines to you in another thread, but now I would recommend countries like Thailand, Cambodia, Vietnam and to some extent Indonesia. Probably also second tier cities in these countries where not much English is spoken. Basically, places where it's easier to game and there is a language barrier. Many girls will speak little or no English, so the fact that you're deaf won't make that much of a difference. You can use Google translate and body language. I had one night stands and even went out on a couple of dates (successfully) with girls using only Google Translate. Not easy, but it can be done.

-Are there meetups and communities for hearing impaired people overseas? You might want to find out. Somebody mentioned dating a hot deaf girl in Thailand. Actually, I also heard there are some deaf Thai girls looking for foreigners (both pros and non-pros) because the language barrier doesn't matter that much to them. Just make sure she is not a pro.

-Agree about club game. It's more about the way you look and act than the way you talk. In the club in a foreign country, the girl might think it's just a language barrier between the two of you. By the time you both get out, she's already hooked.

Edit: Actually, I think you can still try the Philippines, like Manila or Cebu. Master online and text game and experiment talking to the girls online before you book your trip. Tell some of the girls that you have hearing difficulties and see how they respond. You'll probably be very surprised, in a good way.

[TravelerKai]

I have some ideas, I'll post them later. I'm on mobile right now.

[Corroncho]

If you do travel abroad, please keep your head on a swivel when you're walking around these poorer countries. Assuming you're from Texas, you're used to drivers observing some basic rules of the road. But every time you step off the curb in the third world, you're potentially facing traffic coming the wrong way, swerving vehicles, motorbikes temporarily on the sidewalks, and it's all fair game. The drivers there are better about honking to warn pedestrians that they're coming, but that won't do you any good. Being hit by a vehicle is the #1 danger in most of these countries, so stay alert man.

[Cheetah]

Quote:

Can't lipread more than 1 person at a time, and if in noisy settings like bars, it becomes virtually impossible.

Why does it become harder to lip read in a noisy environment if you can't hear anyway?

From what distance is it normally possible to lip read?

[CleanSlate]

Cheetah, good question - one that is rarely asked.

First, in the English language, only 30% of it is lip-readable. This isn't conjecture, it's a hard statistic empirically observed by linguists over decades of studies.

Second, I do have some residual hearing that can either be amplified by a hearing aid, or nerve stimulated by a cochlear implant. So I do utilize some hearing while lipreading stimultaneously. Everyone's different, but for me personally, that brings me up to 70%. A lot depends on many factors, the person I'm talking to, their accent if any, the lighting, and the setting. Lots of variables determine whether I understand more than 90% or less than 50%, at within 5-20 feet of me.

Now, in a noisy setting, my hearing aid or cochlear implant become virtually useless because I am not able to cut through the noise. The signal to noise ratio drastically falls in bar/club settings. So that brings me back down to 30% of comprehension. I have to work harder mentally to fill in the blanks.

Now take me to a night club with flashing lights of various colors and booming music with lots of bass. The percentage falls further because the dark and flashing lights interfere with my ability to lipread at all, and the noise gets to be extremely distracting. So I'm actually close to 0% in those places.

Hope this makes sense.

[TravelerKai]

Brodiaga broke it down well.

I would break it down into two options.

A) Go for what you are attracted to, regardless of ease.

B) Go for something easier for the first run, then increase the difficulty later.

If you go option A, and let's say for example you have a thing for blondes or something like Japanese women get your blood rushing. Go to Europe or Eastern Europe/Japan isolating the exact look and features you want, and game it as hard as you can. Some people even if you strike out on the first trip, eventually gain very solid game when they stick with it. At the very worse, the improvements will give you strong play in an easier country. Also, if what you like the most is constantly around you, you can stay highly motivated.

If you go option B, go somewhere easy just to get your dick wet, your brain reset, take the edge off, and get the monkey off your back. With your hearing problem, try not to go to dangerous places if you can help it. Not for the first run at least. Certain parts of Colombia or Brazil comes to mind. Mexico is very close, cheap enough, and the women are very nice. If you want to try Asia, go to the Philippines first. This place can boost your confidence big time. The women are the sweetest in all Asia, no bitch shields, many of them are nurses and are very feminine and gentle. Avoid China or Korea for the first trip unless you have a strong itch for those women. I'm not saying they are hard, but they are not extremely easy either. If you want to tackle other Asians outside the Philippines, go with the mindset of option A. If I could do it all over again, I probably would have gone to the Philippines right after my divorce, but still would have gone to China later. The reason why is because my confidence took a beating badly with all the women in the US I tried dating and it took a while to get confident and smooth with a stride.

Whatever you do. Please do not P4P. Try to get the first bang without paying for it. What you do not want right now is a habit of reaching for your wallet. That can cause too many problems later on and even a little bit of it hurts your game.

Take your time and read through all the datasheets related to where you want to go. Information is your weapon. Arm yourself to the teeth before you go, but do not get into what they call "Analysis Paralysis" and plan for years and never go any fucking where. Some guys do that and it makes them very bitter and jaded. Don't be that guy. We have enough of those in RVF.

[TravelerKai]

Also, avoid the night club scene. I would only daygame and online/pipeline game if I were you. That will force you to have much better game than your average traveler in RVF. Look up to guys like Moma for inspiration. The constant approaches will make you have a stronger frame and confidence.

[CleanSlate]

Thanks Kai. Manila is one place I'd like to visit, and then after that, probably the DR. I will read up while my divorce is in progress, and once it is finalized and my finances stabilize, I will give myself a travel-by deadline and post it here on RVF so to keep me accountable.

[DaveR]

I haven't read much of this thread or even the first post, but...

There are a lot of deaf people in Russia. I often see them signing on the streets and other places. It's probably a different sign language, and not sure how difficult it would be to learn.

I know a partially deaf guy in Moscow who had a hot Ukrainian wife. I would say she was a 7.5 or 8, definitely would have been 8.5 in her younger days. I don't know how to judge how deaf he was, but he writes with a lot of basic grammar mistakes and it's obvious (as a native speaker) that something is amiss with his speech within the first minute. He was born with partial deafness.

[ChazKGB]

Go to NE DC, and hang out around the Galludet bar scene on H St. Lots of deaf students there.

[CleanSlate]

(01-28-2015 11:01 AM)ChazKGB Wrote:  

Go to NE DC, and hang out around the Galludet bar scene on H St. Lots of deaf students there.

Done that scene before, and I'm over it. Most deaf girls are a 4-5 or below... a 6+ is like an unicorn there. The sad thing is that at Gallaudet deaf girls don't dress remotely like girls and they really act like boys, even worse than the mainstream American society. Appreciate the suggestion, though.

[Cheetah]

As you presumably know American sign language, how easy or hard is it for you to communicate with someone knowing only French and/or Spanish sign language? Is Spanish sign language reasonably the same in the Spanish speaking parts of South America as to that in Spain?

[CleanSlate]

(01-28-2015 01:05 PM)Cheetah Wrote:  

As you presumably know American sign language, how easy or hard is it for you to communicate with someone knowing only French and/or Spanish sign language? Is Spanish sign language reasonably the same in the Spanish speaking parts of South America as to that in Spain?

While Spanish, French, and American sign languages are different, it's a really cool experience to exchange signs for words in basic conversational contexts. I'm sure I can figure out how to run game that way. They have deaf expos for this stuff, and your post just inspired me to register for the next world expo! it's in 2016 in Vegas, but I could just drive to Austin for a local deaf expo in late March this year.

[WanderingSoul]

I see lots of deaf people in Bangkok speaking sign language to each other.

Can you sign? I assume sign language is universal? I.E. it's the same in Thailand as the US?

[William Windsor]

For those of us having issues with hearing or pronouncing clearly, one advantage in gaming girls abroad vs at home is that you can blame misunderstandings on the accent. If you fail to understand what a girl says in Ukraine, she might think it's because her accent is not clear. She will have patience if communication is slow because you are foreign.

[Suits]

Embarrassing personal story. I was hitting on a girl from New York once and I told her that I found her accent interesting.

Turned out that she was deaf.

I felt like a total idiot, but she took it in stride with no apparent emotional response.

[DirectDanger]

If your main goal is to get your dick wet after a rough divorce then the answer is easy.

Go to Manila or Cebu.

Either of these places is a wonderland for online game. This will give you time to interact with the girls and build a little bit of attraction before you meet. Most of these girls are so sweet that they will see your hearing problem as a way to take care of you. Filipinas love to take care of men. It gives them purpose.

There is also a decent amount of guys on this forum that are in either of these cities and it can give you a chance to connect personally with other like minded guys.

[CleanSlate]

Manila / Cebu is among the top places to visit on my list. But we're getting into the rainy season soon, so I'm thinking I'll take an extended vacation in Nov-Dec between Thanksgiving and Christmas... it'll be the best use of my vacation time to sandwich my trip between the holidays or even stay through the New Year. No one at my office will bat an eye when I'm gone for a whole month at that time of year.

For a quickie one week trip, I'm thinking Dominican Republic, but I'm really needing to brush up on my Spanish.