[Philly215]

What do any of you guys make out of this situation.

I was dating a girl for 6 months and we ended up breaking up on a couples vacation back in Sept with 2 other couples.

In my opinion (and the others on the trip) the break up was completely petty and ridiculous. She basically did a 180, on her expectations. I did nothing major (cheat, burn her house down, beat up her dad) and she said there was NOT another guy. She just started picking stupid fights.

Since that time I have travelled a lot and done cool stuff, and its well documented on social media. It also appears there is a new guy in her life, and I have a new girl. However, I do think about this ex a good amount.

Back in Nov, she unfollows me on IG. Understood, you don't want to see whats going on in my life, but she keeps me on FB.

Last weekend, I was at a destination wedding and it was on a beach and a blast, and she was originally supposed to go.

I notice the one girl from our couples trip in Sept is visiting my ex and posts a pic on IG of the two of them. Then I see the pic disappear not long after. I notice the friend has since blocked me on IG, not unfollow but block. I then click on my exes FB profile the next day and realize she deleted me.

My question is do you guys think this is a major shit test to try to get a reaction out of me and see if Ill bite? The friend was obviously with my ex, and I have zero interaction with the friend. An unfollow on IG would go unnoticed, but a block is very noticeable, and I did nothing to warrant it. My ex unfollowed me on IG weeks ago but kept me visible on FB. She unfriends me which is noticeable, an unfollow or unsubscribe would go unnoticed by me. Do you guys think this is a shit test, or is she just disgusted by me lol. Time will tell, but I find it bizarre, and also the timing coincidental, being that I was at a wedding having fun that she was supposed to go to.

[Remington]

It's not a shit test. Let it go man.

[AneroidOcean]

(01-22-2015 08:02 PM)Philly215 Wrote:  

Time will tell, but I find it bizarre, and also the timing coincidental, being that I was at a wedding having fun that she was supposed to go to.

It doesn't sound like the female friend is much of a friend at all. No loss that she removed you. You could ask her, but you know the reason is that her and your ex were on social media and she removed you to make your ex feel better in some way.

The question is, why do you care?

The reality is that you do, but you shouldn't. All the better that the friend removed you from social media so you don't see more reminders of your ex. You should consider her roughly between "dead to me" and "couldn't care less" status.

Game on!

[WestIndianArchie]

First of all, congratulations for moving on physically.

Now you must move on mentally.

She may have realized she fucked up, or she could be looking for a emotional boost. Who knows? But you shouldn't care. The best revenge is living your life.

WIA

[magellan]

You'll never know. Kinda like whether or not there's an afterlife. Might as well look at the behavior for what it is: petty and coincidentally timed near each other meaning they both mutually decided to hate your guts. Now that you know, you can move on to better.

[MtnMan]

You will never know, and should you should not care. I know its hard, but once its done you need to stop analyzing her every move. Just accept that there are things about women and their behaviors you will never understand.

Focus that energy that you spend thinking about her towards banging more new girls.

That statement get repeated around here ad nauseam because IT WORKS.

[Philly215]

(01-23-2015 08:03 AM)MtnMan Wrote:  

You will never know, and should you should not care. I know its hard, but once its done you need to stop analyzing her every move. Just accept that there are things about women and their behaviors you will never understand.

Focus that energy that you spend thinking about her towards banging more new girls.

That statement get repeated around here ad nauseam because IT WORKS.

Yeah, I agree with all of you guys. In a way I thought I had moved on (not saying I haven't, I guess just not completely). Travelled to 2 countries and countless other US cities, had a blast, and met several girls. Dating one now, but Im not serious with it.

Not sure why this bothered me, I guess its because I read it as an attention ploy or something to get a reaction out of me, 4 months later. Like a way to throw something in your face, churn up the past. If it was 4 days or weeks after, Id get it.

My point is a BLOCK and a DEFRIEND seemed like blatant ways to get my attention, which I just think is bizarre, and didn't know what to make out of it. Both could have unfollowed and unsubscribed to me, and I wouldn't have noticed.

You guys are right though, whats done is done, I shouldn't care, focus energy on the future not the past.

[casio]

(01-23-2015 08:24 AM)Philly215 Wrote:  

My point is a BLOCK and a DEFRIEND seemed like blatant ways to get my attention, which I just think is bizarre, and didn't know what to make out of it. Both could have unfollowed and unsubscribed to me, and I wouldn't have noticed.

It's in no way a "shit test". It can be due to ill will or whatever, but if you wouldn't have cared, you wouldn't know they blocked/defriended you.
So obviously you still do.

(01-22-2015 08:09 PM)Remington Wrote:  

Let it go man.

This

[sandman972]

Had a similar experience. Got dumped by a girl I was dating for 4 months or so out of fucking no where.

A week later I upload a picture on facebook, shortly after she deletes me off facebook. It hurt. It was like kicking a man while hes down. I started thinking why she would do that, I did nothing wrong to this brod.

The fact that she went out of her way to delete me tells me I affected her emotionally in some way. Whether thats out of guilt or what, I guess Ill never know. The only thing I can do in refrain contact.

Meanwhile she just moved to my city 200m away from my apartment. She also signed up for the same gym as me. We havent spoke at all since the out of the blue breakup, but its an annoying atmosphere to say the least.

[ElJefe]

I think a lot of the advice being given is often of the calibre "why do you care?" as if he someone is strange for not being affected.

Unless you're a robot and incapable of love, you will care.

Caring is not a sin. It's a sign that you are capable of real joy. That person is just not going to be that source of joy, so the advice that says "move on, forget about her" is good. Out of sight, out of mind. Be grateful she deleted you. Block her. Destroy ALL evidence of her existence or at least bury and hide love letters in some obscure place you won't find them for years to come (althoug I think old-love letters are awesome to re-read years later).

If you're willing to extend affection and devotion to a girl, and she doesn't reciprocate, that's her loss. But don't make worse for yourself by buying into the paradigm that you let yourself get weak and therefore taken advantage of. That's no way to go through life, son. People will try to take advantage of you, but game let's you recognize that shit. This girl is a whack-job that broke up for silly reasons, but it's no worry, time is on your side. Yes, you cared, but you will care again for someone else even better.

So delete this weirdo, move on.

[Philly215]

(01-23-2015 08:47 AM)casio Wrote:  

(01-23-2015 08:24 AM)Philly215 Wrote:  

My point is a BLOCK and a DEFRIEND seemed like blatant ways to get my attention, which I just think is bizarre, and didn't know what to make out of it. Both could have unfollowed and unsubscribed to me, and I wouldn't have noticed.

It's in no way a "shit test". It can be due to ill will or whatever, but if you wouldn't have cared, you wouldn't know they blocked/defriended you.
So obviously you still do.

(01-22-2015 08:09 PM)Remington Wrote:  

Let it go man.

This

Just to clarify. The only reason I noticed this was bc the exes friend had a pic (of the two of them, obviously she's visiting) right between 2 pics from the wedding I was at, so it was noticeable. A half hour later, the pic is gone, and I notice Im blocked on her profile. When I get off the plane the next day, I am checking my FB messenger, and notice my ex (usually in top 1-3) is no longer there. So because I knew the friend blocked me, I checked her profile, and thats how I noticed I was deleted.

Also, its easy to say why are you checking why do you care. Point is, I wasn't, it was noticeable because of the above.

[sandman972]

(01-23-2015 09:25 AM)ElJefe Wrote:  

I think a lot of the advice being given is often of the calibre "why do you care?" as if he someone is strange for not being affected.

Unless you're a robot and incapable of love, you will care.

Caring is not a sin. It's a sign that you are capable of real joy. That person is just not going to be that source of joy, so the advice that says "move on, forget about her" is good. Out of sight, out of mind. Be grateful she deleted you. Block her. Destroy ALL evidence of her existence or at least bury and hide love letters in some obscure place you won't find them for years to come (althoug I think old-love letters are awesome to re-read years later).

If you're willing to extend affection and devotion to a girl, and she doesn't reciprocate, that's her loss. But don't make worse for yourself by buying into the paradigm that you let yourself get weak and therefore taken advantage of. That's no way to go through life, son. People will try to take advantage of you, but game let's you recognize that shit. This girl is a whack-job that broke up for silly reasons, but it's no worry, time is on your side. Yes, you cared, but you will care again for someone else even better.

So delete this weirdo, move on.

Spot on.

Whats messed up is knowing you would never take her back and still you somewhat care.
After you get played by a psycho bitch, where is myself respect that resents this brod and is happy it happend even? You adopt this feeling more and more as time goes on and your heart mends.

[Pirate_King]

She's making an effort to move on. But she's not trying to do it subtly thus the blocking and defriending. Its almost as if she trying to say "I'm moving on, aren't you gonna do something about it?" What she did might sting a little but maintain your frame. Don't let it get to you.

[reco2100]

You just need to remove her from your life. Remove her from facebook, and instagram and whatever other social media. Dont ask about her. Dont talk to her. Dont go to the same places. If your friends bring her up change the subject. And do all of this without any contact with her at all.

Yeah it sucks. No there is no understanding what she did. She is a woman. And if you could understand it will not make any difference.

[MrXY]

(01-22-2015 08:02 PM)Philly215 Wrote:  

What do any of you guys make out of this situation.



In my opinion (and the others on the trip) the break up was completely petty and ridiculous. She basically did a 180, on her expectations. I did nothing major (cheat, burn her house down, beat up her dad) and she said there was NOT another guy. She just started picking stupid fights.

And you actually believed there wasn't another guy?

Women rarely end relationships without there being another guy either getting in her pussy or she sees a strong prospect of that soon.It's called monkey branching-a monkey doesn't like to let go of one tree branch until it has a hold on another. They move the next guy in and then get rid of the current guy, usually by creating some pretext- arguing and criticizing over trivial things that were never a problem before, accusing him of cheating, etc. And they always deny there is another guy. So this is a good lesson for you about female nature.

Another takeaway you can glean from this is how coldly a woman will cut you off once she has decided to move on. Everything you shared with her before means nothing to her now. It's hard for men to grasp this because our minds don't work like that, but a woman has a switch in her brain that will flip causing her to be totally callous toward you. If she saw this thread she would roll her eyes then show it to her friends and they would all laugh about it. Sorry to break it to you bro, but those are the realities.

[Philly215]

Not that I care now, but that was my first inclination. I spoke with her former best friend. They no longer speak, but did when we broke up. She has no reason to defend or lie for the girl, and she said there wasn't another guy. In fact, she's pretty hypercritical of the girl. This is what is annoying me about this. I had moved on now this has churned up stuff I hadn't thought about in a while. I actually wish it was another dude, at least I'd know. I also think if it was because of another dude, she would have been way more public with it and just cut me off on social media as fast as she did a 180 in real life. I think she may just be a master manipulator and this is a part of the game. Apparently she broke up with her ex before me for absolutely no reason too.

[kaotic]

(01-23-2015 02:12 PM)Philly215 Wrote:  

Not that I care now, but that was my first inclination. I spoke with her former best friend. They no longer speak, but did when we broke up. She has no reason to defend or lie for the girl, and she said there wasn't another guy. In fact, she's pretty hypercritical of the girl. This is what is annoying me about this. I had moved on now this has churned up stuff I hadn't thought about in a while. I actually wish it was another dude, at least I'd know. I also think if it was because of another dude, she would have been way more public with it and just cut me off on social media as fast as she did a 180 in real life. I think she may just be a master manipulator and this is a part of the game. Apparently she broke up with her ex before me for absolutely no reason too.

Dude, you're digging WAY to deep into this, you have a new girl, focus on her.

Who the hell cares what your ex or her bff is doing, fuck them both.

Who cares she broke up with her new man.

You should have deleted her off all social media apps in the first place so shit like this doesn't happen later on and you get PTSD.

Move along, these aren't the girls you're looking for.

[el mechanico]

You take all this social media stuff too serious. You're going to need to delete all your accounts for 6 months until you grow up enough to handle it.

And stop adding girls you date, instagram is for women.

[Philly215]

Hahaha you're right, this is stupid. If anything I'm glad I posted this because it's good hearing that I'm letting dumb sh1t get to me.

[AneroidOcean]

(01-23-2015 09:25 AM)ElJefe Wrote:  

I think a lot of the advice being given is often of the calibre "why do you care?" as if he someone is strange for not being affected.

Unless you're a robot and incapable of love, you will care.

Good point. I should've clarified to the OP that when I asked "why do you care?" I meant why do you care if it's a "shit test" if you've already supposedly moved on?

(01-23-2015 09:25 AM)ElJefe Wrote:  

Caring is not a sin. It's a sign that you are capable of real joy. That person is just not going to be that source of joy, so the advice that says "move on, forget about her" is good. Out of sight, out of mind. Be grateful she deleted you. Block her. Destroy ALL evidence of her existence or at least bury and hide love letters in some obscure place you won't find them for years to come (althoug I think old-love letters are awesome to re-read years later).

Gotta say this is excellent advice. I give the same advice in this post (below). Removing EVERYTHING you have of them or that reminds you of them (within reason) is the best way to move on. Physically burning the items can be a great weight off your shoulders when having a breakup that doesn't make sense and hurts you. You should embrace your feelings but also seek to understand not only why you feel that way, but also not to not project reasons onto the other person, and do you absolute best to move on despite how much it may hurt.

http://www.rooshvforum.network/thread-24670-...#pid468028

(01-23-2015 01:03 PM)MrXY Wrote:  

And you actually believed there wasn't another guy?

Women rarely end relationships without there being another guy either getting in her pussy or she sees a strong prospect of that soon.It's called monkey branching-a monkey doesn't like to let go of one tree branch until it has a hold on another. They move the next guy in and then get rid of the current guy, usually by creating some pretext- arguing and criticizing over trivial things that were never a problem before, accusing him of cheating, etc. And they always deny there is another guy. So this is a good lesson for you about female nature.

Another takeaway you can glean from this is how coldly a woman will cut you off once she has decided to move on. Everything you shared with her before means nothing to her now. It's hard for men to grasp this because our minds don't work like that, but a woman has a switch in her brain that will flip causing her to be totally callous toward you. If she saw this thread she would roll her eyes then show it to her friends and they would all laugh about it. Sorry to break it to you bro, but those are the realities.

[Philly215]

(01-23-2015 02:57 PM)AneroidOcean Wrote:  

(01-23-2015 09:25 AM)ElJefe Wrote:  

I think a lot of the advice being given is often of the calibre "why do you care?" as if he someone is strange for not being affected.

Unless you're a robot and incapable of love, you will care.

Good point. I should've clarified to the OP that when I asked "why do you care?" I meant why do you care if it's a "shit test" if you've already supposedly moved on?

(01-23-2015 09:25 AM)ElJefe Wrote:  

Caring is not a sin. It's a sign that you are capable of real joy. That person is just not going to be that source of joy, so the advice that says "move on, forget about her" is good. Out of sight, out of mind. Be grateful she deleted you. Block her. Destroy ALL evidence of her existence or at least bury and hide love letters in some obscure place you won't find them for years to come (althoug I think old-love letters are awesome to re-read years later).

Gotta say this is excellent advice. I give the same advice in this post (below). Removing EVERYTHING you have of them or that reminds you of them (within reason) is the best way to move on. Physically burning the items can be a great weight off your shoulders when having a breakup that doesn't make sense and hurts you. You should embrace your feelings but also seek to understand not only why you feel that way, but also not to not project reasons onto the other person, and do you absolute best to move on despite how much it may hurt.

http://www.rooshvforum.network/thread-24670-...#pid468028

(01-23-2015 01:03 PM)MrXY Wrote:  

And you actually believed there wasn't another guy?

Women rarely end relationships without there being another guy either getting in her pussy or she sees a strong prospect of that soon.It's called monkey branching-a monkey doesn't like to let go of one tree branch until it has a hold on another. They move the next guy in and then get rid of the current guy, usually by creating some pretext- arguing and criticizing over trivial things that were never a problem before, accusing him of cheating, etc. And they always deny there is another guy. So this is a good lesson for you about female nature.

Another takeaway you can glean from this is how coldly a woman will cut you off once she has decided to move on. Everything you shared with her before means nothing to her now. It's hard for men to grasp this because our minds don't work like that, but a woman has a switch in her brain that will flip causing her to be totally callous toward you. If she saw this thread she would roll her eyes then show it to her friends and they would all laugh about it. Sorry to break it to you bro, but those are the realities.

After reading that thread on BPD, she exhibits the vast majority of those traits. Less of the suicidal and more of the attention seeking dramatic traits. Which is starting to make sense now. Because I sure as hell didn't understand, nor did I know what was wrong with her. Thanks

[ordinaryleastsquared]

Me and my ex of 1.5 years broke up september as well, under somewhat similiar conditions. She ended up deleting me from FB as well, and we have tons of photos together, traveled a month around central america, etc. etc.

Who knows, it bothered me at first but who really cares? I don't care about seeing about her life anymore, and I assume it goes both ways.

[CactusCat589]

Delete the female friend who blocked you as well. Any sign of passive-aggressiveness from your social circle, just go all the way and show her how to do things in a not half-assed way. My thought process if I notice something like this: "This is some weak ass shit, laughable." Delete.

[JacksonRev]

Never be friends with an ex. All that leads to is looking in the rear view mirror instead of where you need to go.

The world isn't that small, and a woman will never be the friend you think she is, especially an ex.

[coverdoc]

The ex probably talked shit about you, made you come off psycho or desperate to pseudo-boost her own value Take everyone's advice and forget about the chick. More fish in the sea brother.