[bewater]

Yesterday I hooked up with a 21 hot student (7.5-8). I got IOI in a bar and started to talk to her. No game though, she was into me from the start. I spent a few hours with her(in the bar than in a club with her friends), she was DTF, but having a GF stopped me going further(now I regret a bit since she was very hot and innocent looking, my type), even if I'm suspecting my gf cheating.


The thing is, on that moment I forgot about height, being shorter/thinner than other guys, I had a hot girl that the 6'2 good looking guys in the club wanted like hell. So knowing that at least one of your type of girl is attracted to you from the start, gave me a nice confidence boost that I really needed. Building confidence in your head is not so easy and never sticks, but when you get approval from reality, that's something else.

However, I know that the girl didn't see me standing up and a few times asked me to stand up indirectly, but that's before I hooked up with her...so I guess I passed her height threshold(she was shorter though ~ 5'3).


I know that making out it's almost nothing, but I really felt that girl was into me an it wasn't just a 15 mins drunk make out...and if I think in the past what girls liked me from the start, were girls in that height range which are not very experienced...except my gf, who liked me, but she already had lots of experience in relationship/sexually. The truth is, I don't need right now the 25+ entitled, experienced HR worker, who wants the best looking guy and she looks like shit. Right now, I also don't have the confidence, lifestyle, game and even looks, to be happy in a relationship with that kind of girl(like my gf is now)...fucking hot submissive students it's much more rewarding. I also know that, if I was in a bar with lots of better looking guys, almost for sure I won't do much, not having competition, at least at first, it's very important. It also happens rarely to get IOIs from such hot girls, but with game I think I can get good results without having to wait for the IOI.

With game, getting to the gym and putting 20 lbs of muscle over 2 years + maintaining my current hair, I think I can pull it off.

[Cobra]

^^^let it go man. A 7.5 wanted you and you're obsessing over the height thing. I want to hear about more of your conquests but to be honest you are peppering in a whole lot of insecurity by how much you still mention "even though I was short." I get that it appears positive but what you're doing is taking focus away from game.

Trust me, as a guy that felt "handicapped" as well, I know how it feels. I used to have the race thing bother me (to an extent still hard to shake off) to the extent that I wouldn't approach white girls. I approach all kinds of girls now, but I stop telling myself "oh she liked me even though I'm Indian." Truth is fuck that noise because I don't think any of those girls cared that much what my race was. So why should I?

It doesn't go away overnight but it'll be a slower process if you keep writing about it on the forum this way.

[bewater]

Thanks.

I just broke up with my gf. I can't handle shit anymore. She's hot but not attracted to me, she is checking other guys each time we go out, she gets crazy when she drinks + I highly suspect she's cheating....

I don't trust her at all so it needed to be done.

Now, let the game begin

[Avon Barksdale]

OP you really are not that short

[Dalaran1991]

(01-25-2015 04:33 AM)bewater Wrote:  

Thanks.

I just broke up with my gf. I can't handle shit anymore. She's hot but not attracted to me, she is checking other guys each time we go out, she gets crazy when she drinks + I highly suspect she's cheating....

I don't trust her at all so it needed to be done.

Now, let the game begin

First step on the road to manhood is to let go of oneitis.

Good luck. The road ahead will be hard, I'm not sugar coating it for you. But it will full of excitement and wonders.

[bewater]

I'm happy that I did that. 6 months ago she was breaking up with me for saying something bad to her. After 3 weeks I missed her so much and I felt guilty, that I contacted her and got back together. I thought it will be better, but it was worst. She got more entitled, more confrontational, for every fight it was only my reason, no "I'm sorry" when she made mistakes, and even when she made mistakes, she said is my fault.

Note to everyone.......DON'T GET BACK TOGETHER after she broke up with you and YOU initiate contact to get her back, it will be much much worse.

[Saladin]

One thing you must learn is-

Do not ever worry about other dudes, worry about yourself.

Psyching yourself out because of the competition is a losing move and will result in a spiral of negativity and not getting laid. What matters is you improving yourself as much as you can, whether it be by improving your game and charisma, working out, etc. Worrying about other guys being taller than you is jealousy and that's a female trait. We're not a bunch of bitches sitting around drinking mimosas being jealous as fuck of Sally because she's got big tits....

It's not a masculine trait to worry about whether other guys are better looking or taller.

[Captain Gh]

By learning Game from the book "The Game" all you learned is how to outwardly act to attract women. What you learned is still good, but you need to build from the ground up now. My advice to you is

1) Like many in this thread recommended is to take care of your health. Feeling better physically will make things less painfull after the oneitis side effect kick in.

2) Go on Pualib.com and buy the Book Mind Os from Doctor Paul. This one is a must. Before getting back with another woman you need to work extremely hard on your innergame because you have some strong limiting belief about your height that this book will help you fix.

Buy this one since it's based on psychocybernetics and it works because it teaches you the way your brain chemically produces emotions and limiting belief. I've read this book 8 times and went from an overweight loser to women asking me why I don't have a girlfriend on a weekly basis. If you can't find it PM me for a connect.

3) When you feel ready to step to a women and confident that you can handle the possible rejection, go on Youtube and subscribe yourself to the Channel the cult of Black Phillip. That was a relationship show hosted by the Late great Patrice O'neal. Listen to the 12 shows and then relisten to them again. Patrice was the man when it fame to male female relationship.

Check on Return Of kings since there was an article about in a while back. Even Roosh holds him in high estime. Matter of fact I'll go get some Patrice in right now. Most important is the book though. You can't loose with these but it will not be easy to change, it never is, but dedication is the name of the game

[ChazKGB]

I thought thread was a trap, but turned out okay. Now you're single and have to ply the trade.

Read Bang and remember that being taller, more cut, nicer dressed, and a big dick are not your strongest weapons. If you think they are then you already lost.

[bewater]

Thanks guys. When I started this thread I was a mess. Now after listening to you, doing some game and seeing that I still can attract nice girls gave me a confidence boost to end the relationship which was messed up and made me so insecure.

I will probably make another thread about how to get over the break up since I had one-itis and I know for sure that after a few weeks I'll start to feel like shit and I'll need to force myself(and maybe you'll help) to not contact her.

[CactusCat589]

Has the definition of hook up changed? You've used hook up to describe not having sex with a chick twice now.

[bewater]

(01-28-2015 12:14 PM)CactusCat589 Wrote:  

Has the definition of hook up changed? You've used hook up to describe not having sex with a chick twice now.

Yea, I was using the bad term. The idea is that I thought I can't attract nice girls(7.5+) anymore. Maybe it was just luck, but if 1 girl liked me before saying anything(my ex, this one and maybe others I forgot) than for sure, when I approach a lot I will find more, and with game I'll seal the deal.

[Shortest Straw]

(01-28-2015 12:14 PM)CactusCat589 Wrote:  

Has the definition of hook up changed? You've used hook up to describe not having sex with a chick twice now.

Technically "hook up" means something sexual in nature, but actual sex is a subset of "hooking up".

Here's the problem with using that term: It was invented by women to exaggerate their own daring and sexual desirability. They get to brag to their girlfriends that they hooked up with oh so many guys at oh so many parties because they're oh so popular.

As a player, never, ever use the term. It's chick terminology. It reminds me of the early days of game in which guys would talk about "number close". There is only one close, and that's when she surrenders herself to the point she willingly and happily accepts your dick in her vag. If you get her to make out but you don't fuck her, there is no close. Your game failed. You became a notch for her, not the other way around.

Even a blowjob is an indication that something about how you played that game is off. You do it right, and she will literally be tugging your hips toward her.

[Shortest Straw]

(01-14-2015 03:50 AM)bewater Wrote:  

My background/look
- I'm 24, from Eastern Europe, 5'9(175cm) height, 150lbs, skinny but with belly and some fat. Not in shape at all, I don't lift.
- I had only 3 notches before my last LTR

The issues/Confidence killers
I "studied" game 4 years ago after seeing Mystery's PUA show. I read the game and lots of materials about it. I got extremely confident thinking that will solve all my girls problems and everything is psychology and looks don't matter at all. For about 2 years I was happy knowing that if I learn more game I will bang lots of hotties.

However, after the first year, after pure luck, on a party I hooked up with a solid 8 who just get out of a relationship with a guy who cheated on her. She had self-esteem issues after that and because of a mutual(girl) friend we got together in a LTR. He put me wait 1.5 months for sex, but being so hot I though the wait is worth. I had ED issues for about a year...she was crazy horny and I couldn't get it up, everything was mental because I didn't have sexual experience and she was very hot and experienced. Anyway, after a year things got much better, even now I have some issues in some positions. This killed my confidence but I get passed that.

The main problem now is my self image.

Issue 1: Height
My gf is 5'3 and she told me numerous times how much she likes tall guys. I found her gazing at taller guys in clubs or smiling...she fucking gets wet when a tall guy hits on her. At that time, I didn't pay attention because I thought she just has some strange fetish, but I asked some female friends and their answer hit me. They all rant about how attracted are by tall guys(over 180-185), how hot they are, etc. I got online and researched the subject and what I found hit me even harder. Than I went out with a taller friend(6'2) and I hit first on 10 girls with same opener than he hits on them with same opener(nothing special, something very usual) just after me. Fuck, I got blown 10 times in 3 minutes, he got 2 numbers and 1 lay from the same girls. I looked how girls eyes light up when they saw my friend and I was devastated.

Girls DO PUT A LOT weight ON HEIGHT... A LOT, like 40% in cold approach especially.

For the last 1.5 years I get obsessed by height, I read online everything I can about it and looking for short skinny guys with success in girls...but I couldn't found any. Game seems to not help this.

I don't know what to do. I already wear 2 inch lifts but that's all I can do. My gf is still very hot, but everytime I go in a club and a taller guy hits on her I become very nervous and anxious. I love clubs but now, when I'm with my gf, I'm fucking scared...I feel like shit...like I can't be a man to protect her, especially when I know she likes tall guys.

Issue 2: Slim built
I'm an ectomorph. I got to a gym a few times but no gains. The main problem is I have a very small frame. Narrow shoulders, small hands and so on. And also being on the short side....kills me. How much can I gain in shoulders with in 1 year of gym?

Issue 3: Balding
Like is not enough, I'm starting to go bald and shaved head looks horrible on me.

Now, I don't know how much of you read all, but my confidence is 0 right now. The irony is, I still have that hot GF from 3 years ago which makes me feel even worse since I know I can't get a girl hot as her in a short time or even ever. And as you expect, I'm also jealous and insecure in relationship.

What the heck do I need to do to turn my life over? Anyone in my situation?
I'm also introvert and logical, maybe that's why I researched/analyzed so much about height. It was so good when I thought looks don't matter and game was everything. Game seems that won't help you too much if your look is shit. I know that a lot of stuff is mental, but I don't know how to get pass that.

I skimmed through the posts on this thread and I see you've already gotten a lot of great support, but I'll add mine anyway.

First of all, I like you. I like the tone of your writing. I tell you that because you will ultimately learn that what guys think of you is ultimately much more important that what girls think. It is vastly more important to get guys to respect you than to get girls to want you. Success with women will lead to some respect from men; respect from men will powerfully lead to success with women.

Height: It is a natural human tendency to fixate on your perceived shortcomings. What you don't realize is that the shortcomings that others perceive are very different from what you see. Where did you get such arrogance to assume that you know what women think when they look at you? In the absence of specific feedback, forget about what you think people think about you!

That was vague; here are some specifics. I am attractive and 6'4 tall. For years I held myself poorly and - it was horrible - I got condescending feedback from women. A tall guy who is slouching and meek only amplifies the dissonance. It wasn't that I didn't get laid; rather, it was that my inner sense of unworthiness led me to nasty, subservient relationships. You could be 7" taller and you would absolutely not be in a better way. I certainly wasn't.

Another specific: Isn't Neil Strauss a good deal shorter than you?

When I sit, no one is aware how tall I am. Yet I still dominate most interactions.

You are concerned about balding. Again, Neil Strauss: He promptly shaved his head. You say you don't look good shaved? Who the hell are you to judge that? Are you a chick?

For what it's worth, I started seeing male pattern baldness coming along and I started taking finasteride 1.25 mg / day and that put a stop to it. Results vary, of course.

You already understand a hell of a lot about how men and women interact, and you are off to a very good start. Relax, and focus on who you are and build that. In the Game, understand that you are playing a game and that women are nowhere near as magical as you had talked yourself into believing. You'll find that the game is a whole lot more interesting than the goal.

[Dalaran1991]

Shortest Straw has some good points. In another words, don't decide yourself if you are attractive to a woman. Let her make that choice for you. By approaching her and pushing for sex.

[BadgerHut]

(01-30-2015 09:23 PM)Dalaran1991 Wrote:  

Shortest Straw has some good points. In another words, don't decide yourself if you are attractive to a woman. Let her make that choice for you. By approaching her and pushing for sex.

This. I learned this from accidental experience, you never know when a girl is going to be into you, so let her tell you no instead of dismissing the whole thing yourself.

[Dalaran1991]

Saw something from a newslsetter that could be of use.

To be honest, I don't really like the whole "confidence" talk that appears everywhere in dating advice. Confidence helps a lot, but it's a necessary and not sufficient element. You need to take actions.

I don't think I'm a lot more confident than when I was a beta, but I go out talk to girls and get shit done anyway. And that gets results.

Quote:

We've all seen it happen before our very eyes.

Some other dude likes the same woman we do, but just as Murphy's

Law would dictate he pulls some sort of "rabbit out of the hat" and

walks off with her.

If you ever find yourself in that situation where a guy pulls out a

serious skill or maximizes a situation to his advantage, then you

might have felt pretty helpless in the moment.

But think about it. As much as we'd like to think that it's looks,

money, a car or whatever that causes a woman to choose one man over

another, that's almost never REALLY it.

The fact of the matter is that the guy who gets the girl usually is

more AMAZING to her in some way that demonstrates the "big four"

pretty clearly.

He did SOMETHING very, very effective at attracting her and keeping

her attention.

Now, most lesser guys would simply get mad when another guy wins

out like that, and perhaps even be just a tad jealous.

And they may even think to themselves (if not blurt it out loud),

"Hey, that's not FAIR."

But not you...at least not from now on.

After all, you fully realize that "it's not fair" is the battle cry

of a VICTIM.

And you really can't blame another guy for having his eye on the

same woman you do, can you? That makes him no better or worse than

you are, right?

So instead of feeling like that other dude just did something TO

you, you'll instead fully realize that the problem is, in fact,

that you didn't do as much FOR the woman you had your eye on.

No, I'm not talking about being a dancing monkey, giving her

expensive gifts or anything like that.

All I'm saying is that you didn't do as much of what it takes to

attract her as the other guy did.

Fortunately, that's something that can be fixed...with a little

forward-thinking proactivity on your part.

Instead of simmering quietly (or even sulking) when some other guy

is more awesome in a woman's eyes, use that moment as motivation to

go work on that skill for yourself.

When you get right down to it, it's going to come down to

confidence, being masculine in the way women define it, making

women feel safe and comfortable in your presence and/or a character

issue.

It'll somehow have SOMETHING to do with one of those "big four"

traits EVERY SINGLE TIME.

But you see, most guys RESENT losing out to another guy when they

should actually embrace the opportunity to get better that can come

from that moment.

My educated guess is that EVERY MAN who you've ever lost out to has

somewhere, somehow lost out in the exact same way...but made sure it

never happened again.

That was the difference between him and you in that situation, and

next time it'll be different for YOU...but only if your mindset is

one of positive forward movement instead of dejection.

And yes...THAT'S the attitude that differentiates guys who ultimately

succeed with high-quality women from those who don't.

[bewater]

One week after last contact and one-itis sides are starting to show. I miss her and think on her a lot. But the difference from the last breakup 6 months ago is that:

- now I ended the relationship
- I don't want to get back to her like I wanted the last time
- I don't feel guilty, I know I made mistakes, but I acknowledge them and say I'm sorry....the entire relationship she never said I'm sorry, on every fight she said it was my fault
- now I don't wait for her call to get back together, I just want to not see or talk to her for at least 6 months

Another interesting thing and talked about on red pill community is that if you are the one that gets back to her, you won't have the upper hand in the relationship. After first breakup, things were not the same anymore. She had a bitchy attitude which made me angry so many times. After a big fight where it was my fault, I said I'll change so we won't break up again. For a month I was exactly as she wanted....but on the first minor fight....she broke up with me(but after a few hours called back).

So when I acted exactly as she wanted, she broke up with me for a few hours just because of a minor fight. Go figure...

[lowhead360]

delete

[bewater]

(02-06-2015 11:56 AM)lowhead360 Wrote:  

I can totally relate to this. Even with the whole "one minor fight and she's gone bit". The girl I just broke up with about a week ago I dated also last year. I caught pretty big feelings both times but this second time around (post-red pill), I gotta say I wasn't nearly as upset. I haven't tried to make any contact with her whatsoever and I'm having a way easier time moving on and enjoying myself regardless.

The biggest difference in my reaction this time and last time is that last time, I immediately pined after her and tried to win her approval. This time around, I don't even want to talk to her and I realize I've got absolutely nothing to prove. If one minor slip up is all it took to get her to leave, then she is NOT LTR material at all and NOT worth my emotional investment. Oneitis is probably the one thing that has fucked me over the most with women but its totally irrational; there's 3.5 billion women on the planet, plenty of great ones to choose from.

Yea. She broke up with me the second time because I got mad on her bitchy attitude and made her a crazy slut. But I got back to her saying I'm sorry....and after that she said some very bad things, to pay back she said...I accepted, but...getting back to her and saying I'm sorry should be enough in a normal relationship. The third time it was because I yelled at her for some stuff that she should know for a long time, not a few hours before an important meeting. WTF? Again, I said I'm sorry to get her back. She yelled so many times and I didn't even thought to get mad at her...yet she breaks up for this.

That's incredible. When a girls loves you it won't even think about this shit. My only mistake in the relationship it was that I didn't trusted her and jealousy, but I tried many times...but each time something happened, like going out and she gazing after some guy or lying. She always wanted to be in the centre of attention, the most sexy, etc... after a while this pissed me off because she acted like a "queen".

I'm so glad I pulled it off. I was like shit, I lost my self respect, she didn't see me as a man, she stopped being attracted to me. LESSON LEARNED!!!! Always be a real man and keep your self respect. The bitch never said I'm sorry, she thought she's always right and on every argument it was always my fault. If I continued with her I would be a wreck...and for sure she would broke up with me again on the first little argument when it was partially my fault.

[Mr Finish]

This is just my opinion but I would say do everything you can to step out of your comfort zone. Try working out more, take a cooking or dancing class, start new hobbies. Start talking to strangers more and read about great men that have achieved things that inspire you. Possibly get some new clothes that make you feel more attractive. I just came out of a cold patch where I wasn't fulfilling as much as I wanted and I fell into a slump. I had to dig my way out. I slowly started approaching again, I began working out again, I read a lot of great books and tried being more talkative and friendly. Then I really got my style down. This really helped. If you're dressing really sharp others will notice it and you'll feel great getting all these new IOI's. Just my opinion, but I hope things improve!

[bewater]

(02-06-2015 01:04 PM)Mr Finish Wrote:  

This is just my opinion but I would say do everything you can to step out of your comfort zone. Try working out more, take a cooking or dancing class, start new hobbies. Start talking to strangers more and read about great men that have achieved things that inspire you. Possibly get some new clothes that make you feel more attractive. I just came out of a cold patch where I wasn't fulfilling as much as I wanted and I fell into a slump. I had to dig my way out. I slowly started approaching again, I began working out again, I read a lot of great books and tried being more talkative and friendly. Then I really got my style down. This really helped. If you're dressing really sharp others will notice it and you'll feel great getting all these new IOI's. Just my opinion, but I hope things improve!

Thanks man, that's what I'm starting to do. I'm ok, from time to time I think about her and of my mistakes, or what if I haven't done this and that, but I quickly get back on feet and realize that her personality is fucked up. Even if I was perfect, her personality(very competitive, many white lies to make her look good,very vain, masculine behaviour, requesting high respect from everyone) is not for me.....she's like a fucking male CEO. Her boss is her role model which is also crazy(but better looking than her). Her boss gets married with some good looking beta...and that's what she craves for. Good luck with that. I need a feminine girl, not a bossy wife.

[The Reactionary Tree]

So OP, are you lifting weights now?

[TripleG]

(02-07-2015 01:58 AM)The Reactionary Tree Wrote:  

So OP, are you lifting weights now?

Lifting weights/being in shape is just a small part of the alpha male equation. Honestly I wish that many of the countless hours I've spent in the gym over the past 18 years I could take some back and instead invest on other aspects of my life...for example, learning foreign languages, learning how to dance, traveling more extensively, and just studying game more intensively to overcome approach anxiety. Sure, gym made me become who I am, a top amateur tennis player, a guy who can bench and squat way more than his body-weight, and someone who can still pull a near 6 minute mile but I cannot say that it has really improved my game.

What has improved my game is going out more, changing my style, improving my hygiene, and most importantly approaching more.
There is an article from Googlookingloser about how he regrets spending so much of his peak years (20's) in the gym trying to have the bodybuilder look which caused him to become anti-social as he was never fully satisfied with his look (even though the guy is 6-2", 225 pounds). Too many guys make the mistake of thinking that looks via gym will overcome obstacles that prevent them from getting laid consistently.

In OP's case since he is still young I see the most important thing he can do now is go out as much as possible and no matter how hard it is try to approach. If he hits the gym 3x/week that is good enough, no need to go hard and try to builk up. Half the time the girls don't even notice it unless one is really jacked and wearing a shirt few sizes too small.
So, even saying "Hi" to good looking girls on the street and asking for directions is a good warm-up for more serious day-game. If that is too hard then I am sure he could find at least one friend to wing with for night-game.

The bottom line is that OP has already commented that he can get women 7.5+ to show interest in him or be his GF so that is a good starting point. Now, just try to find events in your area that attract a lot of women and start making "appearances" there. Meetup.com is a good site for that, I use it extensively.

[Mr Finish]

I'm glad to hear things are getting better. Noticing a womans flaws is a good way to prevent pedpedestalizing. For me, i've noticed it's a thin line between not putting a woman on a pedestal, and still not becoming jaded. I've hit a point where I'm suspect of all women and incapable of fully trusting them; usually for good reasons. At the end of the day all we can hope to become is a better man, for ourselves, and the people we choose to include in our lives.