I've been evaluating myself and how I've been gaming girls lately. The biggest difference between now and even a year ago is that I'm not completely concentrated on how I come off as. I'm more focused on what I'm paying attention to in the girl. I'm happy to say not only do I knock it out of the park, but that I'm comfortable enough that I'm secretly assessing the girls' character with feminist-shriveling levels of judgmentalism, whereas before my plate was completely full just not stumbling over the conversation and getting over hesitation to escalate.
I've lately taken the view that LTR selection/screening is a skill that should be practiced as vigorously as other aspects of game, regardless of your intentions. We think of being able to approach, build attraction, handle logistics, and close as tangible skills. We can take a step back and evaluate which of these are our strengths and which ones are our weaknesses to improve upon.
All these divorces and embittered guys - the fact that they just didn't choose the right girl probably cost them decades of their lives. Not just wasted time, but the stress cuts into their lifespans. When you look at it like "They had sex with 3 girls, then married one of them, but got divorced. That's like going to summer camp for a week, then going to play the Miami Heat with half your net worth on the line", it's a lot easier to understand why. Yet sophisticated slut radar and its importance to LTR selection is undervalued.
I was hoping we could have a thread where we as RVFers could concentrate our collective wisdom and insight on LTR selection.
Let's forget the obvious cases where you judge the physiognomy of the girl; does she have resting bitch face, a queen bee sorority hot girl face, crazy eyes, etc. She has tattoos and smokes, is feminist etc. She's known to have one-night stands, likes getting gangbanged on a regular basis, is a known cheater etc. That has been discussed.
The day-to-day cases are the hard ones. There are numberless threads here about surprising infidelities. The girl in the top of her class in graduate school fucking someone the day before she gets proposed to and accepts it, the petite doe-eyed girl with golden hair who looks like innocence personified.
My thoughts are that it goes beyond running through a checklist of the usual red flags. It's about two things:
1. Is this girl basically an untrustworthy whore in the present? (This is what we can typically judge objectively) You can figure it out just by looking at her, looking at her Facebook or Instagram page, or speaking with her or observing her talk to someone else to assess her lifestyle and behavioral cues and level of hypergamy.
2. The second thing is harder: Is this girl likely to stay loyal, kind, affectionate in the future? I.e. What are the odds that she is going to run into Little Dark? We all know that girls can be sweet and angelic when they like us. What are they hiding? Are there any common factors in girls who have no obvious slut tells but betray themselves in a more subtle way?
The most expedient way to smoke out a slut is from the very beginning, so we can rule her out and shift her into the STR category and try to meet her friends. I personally despise the thought of learning a girl tricked her way into my confidence.
This goes back to just the approach.
I think a first principle is that women want to present a certain side or version of themselves to make themselves appealing.
Similarly to the Bitch Shield, women have something called the I-Don't-Want-to-Out-Myself-as-a-Slut shield that is less codified in the field of game.
This isn't new, most girls don't want to known as sluts in their everyday lives, but we haven't much discussed defusing the IDWOMS shield the same way. As a result, guys have found out that the girls they were with were actually manipulative sluts after they already committed to a LTR of some kind.
So, what is the 'best style of game' so to speak at cracking this shield and figuring out whether she's really a good girl or a wolf hiding among sheep right away?
I think it's mainly the regular, being your charismatic self game.
In rainy Boston: "Look around. You have the only umbrella that's not black. I guess you feel pretty special about that huh?" "Oh I see, you think you're hot shit with your Hello Kitty umbrella don't you." Whatever, something stupid but gets her laughing, then I start trying to escalate.
Being very high-energy, enough to prevent her from filtering herself, and combining that with being "Knowing". When I imply something playfully of a sexual nature and she acts shocked, I just give her a flat look, like "really? You've never done that?"
This requires a feminine ability to completely immerse yourself into a separate belief system - I really do convince myself (for the purposes of the interaction) that it's completely normal and even praiseworthy to be a party girl slut and I love them.
If she starts laughing and admits it, game over, bitch.
Women will only reveal their true selves when they view you as a no-strings attached prospect. Men and women both operate on the same time horizon when it comes to the beginning stages. They're focused on the present - do we have chemistry? Do we like each other? That question comes before anyone starts thinking long-term.
That's why it's so important to pay attention during the first interaction, and not being fully preoccupied with being attractive. Later on if she tries to suggest herself as LTR candidate, she can't repackage herself. Too late.
This has been very effective in just cold approaching strangers in Boston, New York, and Portland the past 6 months. Consistent with the theme of various threads here, plenty of very feminine, classically pretty good girls have admitted to one night stands and such to me, an utter stranger, in 10 minutes.
Usually I talk about how girls always feel obligated to put up last minute resistance and it's so obvious they're gone home with guys on the first night before. They'll get a guilty smile and I'll be all "Oh? Oh! Someone knows what I'm talking about!"
Some of the girls I approached just looked nonplussed and genuinely offended and I realize they probably are what they seem to be aka a good girl. The idea of a ONS literally is alien to them. So I give them The Apology. I sincerely tell her my theory about how women try to show different sides of themselves. I'm sorry, let's be real now.
I'll be upfront that I haven't had much experience in an actual LTR. My first LTR was with a half Korean half white girl as a sophomore and junior. I'm an electrical engineering major, so after the first month when I met with her I had progressively less and less time to spend with her. I had no LTR experience in the first place, so I was just happy for the sake of it, and I thought she was legitimately exotically beautiful.
Signs of the classic good girl during the course of an LTR:
1. When she chooses to demonstrate her loyalty to you even when it's completely socially acceptable to talk to other guys, like at a party setting.
As I said, I was pretty busy, but anytime I went to something like a black tie event and brought her with me, she followed me around and whenever I glanced at her she would be staring at me patiently. She was even a social girl, but if we had the chance to do something together by ourselves she would take it. The typical partying social status stuff she didn't care for. Most of the guys who I think were attractive/tall/smooth enough to have a chance with her figured I was with her, but some talked to her anyways, and she would look at them with this amazing soul-killing expression of 'What is this guy doing talking to me?' look of confusion and disinterest. I even cracked up when I saw it, and the boyfriend genuinely laughing uncontrollably killed their chances with the other girls. She told me it's like being harrassed by retard kids, and it'd be wasting her family genetics to be with them so she saw no point. She said this to set up an incredible Charles Benedict Davenport joke(and she started watching Archer on my suggestion).
When I asked her to go with me to go see a typical couple thing, her face lit up in a way that people cannot fake (unless they're Amy from Gone Girl. Then they can probably fake it).
2. She does this over a long period of time, during which you showed her more affection and incrementally more commitment.
3. She takes your side on a position, even when the majority of her friends opposes it.
My second kind-of-LTR (first one graduated last year, started working somewhere, still lets me know when she's in town) is a brunette again from the same university. I did the screening during the approach and she really seemed clueless at ONS, then weirded out, but opened up when I delivered The Apology. We're both seniors. I'm hanging out with her friends at some joint in the Boston commons. They're all liberal, vaguely hipsterish (a guy with those hipster glasses, another girl wore flannel, another girl who wore both) though still thin and pretty, but they're not really dedicated feminists.
I think they were talking about the George Clooney marriage to the lawyer, generally impressed with her achievements, saying she was strong and attractive, and it came around to me.
It was a pretty epic off-the-cuff speech too. I was all "You know what, I'm going to take the devil's advocate position on this. The most feminine - not feminist, but feminine - women ARE the strongest women, not the careerist ones. They are the ones who inspire undiluted love from men of good character, and are cherished by their loved ones the most... No insecurities over whether they've got this much or that much power in the relationship..." "What is the purpose of a career? What do people really mean when they sa a woman is expected to sacrifice her career for the husband's?" etc
Someone said "Okay I see what you mean, but..." and it was clear there was resistance. Then she jumps in on my side without hesitation. Any other white liberal girl would have been silent or awkwardly laughed in a fake way. She already invested 3 years into her friendships with them; while she perhaps didn't completely ditch her loyalty to her friends, she knew by then I was not going to pretend to what I'm not, so she decided in the moment to help me win them over. That wins her good girl points in my book.
-
This is something that was a passive observation at home that I first really noticed today after eating dinner. The way my family sits at the dinner table during summer, winter breaks. My mom cooks, places the dishes near my dad, my little brother and I, and she sits furthest away at the next open chair, so she either has to lean over to reach or we pass it to her, and watches us like a hawk to make sure we eat. For three decades now my mom's made that gesture for her husband (and then my brother and I) and I thought about my pops did something right.
I've lately taken the view that LTR selection/screening is a skill that should be practiced as vigorously as other aspects of game, regardless of your intentions. We think of being able to approach, build attraction, handle logistics, and close as tangible skills. We can take a step back and evaluate which of these are our strengths and which ones are our weaknesses to improve upon.
All these divorces and embittered guys - the fact that they just didn't choose the right girl probably cost them decades of their lives. Not just wasted time, but the stress cuts into their lifespans. When you look at it like "They had sex with 3 girls, then married one of them, but got divorced. That's like going to summer camp for a week, then going to play the Miami Heat with half your net worth on the line", it's a lot easier to understand why. Yet sophisticated slut radar and its importance to LTR selection is undervalued.
I was hoping we could have a thread where we as RVFers could concentrate our collective wisdom and insight on LTR selection.
Let's forget the obvious cases where you judge the physiognomy of the girl; does she have resting bitch face, a queen bee sorority hot girl face, crazy eyes, etc. She has tattoos and smokes, is feminist etc. She's known to have one-night stands, likes getting gangbanged on a regular basis, is a known cheater etc. That has been discussed.
The day-to-day cases are the hard ones. There are numberless threads here about surprising infidelities. The girl in the top of her class in graduate school fucking someone the day before she gets proposed to and accepts it, the petite doe-eyed girl with golden hair who looks like innocence personified.
My thoughts are that it goes beyond running through a checklist of the usual red flags. It's about two things:
1. Is this girl basically an untrustworthy whore in the present? (This is what we can typically judge objectively) You can figure it out just by looking at her, looking at her Facebook or Instagram page, or speaking with her or observing her talk to someone else to assess her lifestyle and behavioral cues and level of hypergamy.
2. The second thing is harder: Is this girl likely to stay loyal, kind, affectionate in the future? I.e. What are the odds that she is going to run into Little Dark? We all know that girls can be sweet and angelic when they like us. What are they hiding? Are there any common factors in girls who have no obvious slut tells but betray themselves in a more subtle way?
The most expedient way to smoke out a slut is from the very beginning, so we can rule her out and shift her into the STR category and try to meet her friends. I personally despise the thought of learning a girl tricked her way into my confidence.
This goes back to just the approach.
I think a first principle is that women want to present a certain side or version of themselves to make themselves appealing.
Similarly to the Bitch Shield, women have something called the I-Don't-Want-to-Out-Myself-as-a-Slut shield that is less codified in the field of game.
This isn't new, most girls don't want to known as sluts in their everyday lives, but we haven't much discussed defusing the IDWOMS shield the same way. As a result, guys have found out that the girls they were with were actually manipulative sluts after they already committed to a LTR of some kind.
So, what is the 'best style of game' so to speak at cracking this shield and figuring out whether she's really a good girl or a wolf hiding among sheep right away?
I think it's mainly the regular, being your charismatic self game.
In rainy Boston: "Look around. You have the only umbrella that's not black. I guess you feel pretty special about that huh?" "Oh I see, you think you're hot shit with your Hello Kitty umbrella don't you." Whatever, something stupid but gets her laughing, then I start trying to escalate.
Being very high-energy, enough to prevent her from filtering herself, and combining that with being "Knowing". When I imply something playfully of a sexual nature and she acts shocked, I just give her a flat look, like "really? You've never done that?"
This requires a feminine ability to completely immerse yourself into a separate belief system - I really do convince myself (for the purposes of the interaction) that it's completely normal and even praiseworthy to be a party girl slut and I love them.
If she starts laughing and admits it, game over, bitch.
Women will only reveal their true selves when they view you as a no-strings attached prospect. Men and women both operate on the same time horizon when it comes to the beginning stages. They're focused on the present - do we have chemistry? Do we like each other? That question comes before anyone starts thinking long-term.
That's why it's so important to pay attention during the first interaction, and not being fully preoccupied with being attractive. Later on if she tries to suggest herself as LTR candidate, she can't repackage herself. Too late.
This has been very effective in just cold approaching strangers in Boston, New York, and Portland the past 6 months. Consistent with the theme of various threads here, plenty of very feminine, classically pretty good girls have admitted to one night stands and such to me, an utter stranger, in 10 minutes.
Usually I talk about how girls always feel obligated to put up last minute resistance and it's so obvious they're gone home with guys on the first night before. They'll get a guilty smile and I'll be all "Oh? Oh! Someone knows what I'm talking about!"
Some of the girls I approached just looked nonplussed and genuinely offended and I realize they probably are what they seem to be aka a good girl. The idea of a ONS literally is alien to them. So I give them The Apology. I sincerely tell her my theory about how women try to show different sides of themselves. I'm sorry, let's be real now.
I'll be upfront that I haven't had much experience in an actual LTR. My first LTR was with a half Korean half white girl as a sophomore and junior. I'm an electrical engineering major, so after the first month when I met with her I had progressively less and less time to spend with her. I had no LTR experience in the first place, so I was just happy for the sake of it, and I thought she was legitimately exotically beautiful.
Signs of the classic good girl during the course of an LTR:
1. When she chooses to demonstrate her loyalty to you even when it's completely socially acceptable to talk to other guys, like at a party setting.
As I said, I was pretty busy, but anytime I went to something like a black tie event and brought her with me, she followed me around and whenever I glanced at her she would be staring at me patiently. She was even a social girl, but if we had the chance to do something together by ourselves she would take it. The typical partying social status stuff she didn't care for. Most of the guys who I think were attractive/tall/smooth enough to have a chance with her figured I was with her, but some talked to her anyways, and she would look at them with this amazing soul-killing expression of 'What is this guy doing talking to me?' look of confusion and disinterest. I even cracked up when I saw it, and the boyfriend genuinely laughing uncontrollably killed their chances with the other girls. She told me it's like being harrassed by retard kids, and it'd be wasting her family genetics to be with them so she saw no point. She said this to set up an incredible Charles Benedict Davenport joke(and she started watching Archer on my suggestion).
When I asked her to go with me to go see a typical couple thing, her face lit up in a way that people cannot fake (unless they're Amy from Gone Girl. Then they can probably fake it).
2. She does this over a long period of time, during which you showed her more affection and incrementally more commitment.
3. She takes your side on a position, even when the majority of her friends opposes it.
My second kind-of-LTR (first one graduated last year, started working somewhere, still lets me know when she's in town) is a brunette again from the same university. I did the screening during the approach and she really seemed clueless at ONS, then weirded out, but opened up when I delivered The Apology. We're both seniors. I'm hanging out with her friends at some joint in the Boston commons. They're all liberal, vaguely hipsterish (a guy with those hipster glasses, another girl wore flannel, another girl who wore both) though still thin and pretty, but they're not really dedicated feminists.
I think they were talking about the George Clooney marriage to the lawyer, generally impressed with her achievements, saying she was strong and attractive, and it came around to me.
It was a pretty epic off-the-cuff speech too. I was all "You know what, I'm going to take the devil's advocate position on this. The most feminine - not feminist, but feminine - women ARE the strongest women, not the careerist ones. They are the ones who inspire undiluted love from men of good character, and are cherished by their loved ones the most... No insecurities over whether they've got this much or that much power in the relationship..." "What is the purpose of a career? What do people really mean when they sa a woman is expected to sacrifice her career for the husband's?" etc
Someone said "Okay I see what you mean, but..." and it was clear there was resistance. Then she jumps in on my side without hesitation. Any other white liberal girl would have been silent or awkwardly laughed in a fake way. She already invested 3 years into her friendships with them; while she perhaps didn't completely ditch her loyalty to her friends, she knew by then I was not going to pretend to what I'm not, so she decided in the moment to help me win them over. That wins her good girl points in my book.
-
This is something that was a passive observation at home that I first really noticed today after eating dinner. The way my family sits at the dinner table during summer, winter breaks. My mom cooks, places the dishes near my dad, my little brother and I, and she sits furthest away at the next open chair, so she either has to lean over to reach or we pass it to her, and watches us like a hawk to make sure we eat. For three decades now my mom's made that gesture for her husband (and then my brother and I) and I thought about my pops did something right.