[Tim9000]

I'm a bit older than many guys here and keenly aware of the generation gap between me and the mid-20's women I game. 20's women are all about texting and all but done with voice calls, and that's fine with me *except* for when I meet women on-line. Ideally, I'd rather not agree to a date without a quick phone chat to verify that the woman's voice sounds at least somewhat feminine, though I will do it on a weeknight if the date is nearby. Recently, an early 20's woman contacted me online--looks great in her photos. She's a grad student in a nearby city and she wants me to go there to meet her on a Friday night. It's about a hour's drive and there's no way I'm going to commit a Friday night to her without a quick phone chat, but SHE WON'T DO IT! She's not a scammer, as I've found her image on her department's web site and her whole story matches up with what she's written me. So my question is, why won't this women call me, or pick up the phone when I call her? We'll be texting back-and-forth and at some point I'll simply write "call me" and she'll either ignore it or make up some lame excuse (e.g. she doesn't want to be distracted from studying). Can anyone here think of a reason that a normal girl would be so hesitant to talk on the phone with an older guy she wants to drive a good distance to visit her? Am I being an idiot for not just going down?

Tim

[gringochileno]

Lots of younger chicks just won't pick up the fucking phone, ever. I'm the same age as a lot of them and I don't even get it but it is what it is.

If the sound of her voice is really a dealbreaker for you, you can either drop her if she doesn't comply and talk on the phone or you can meet her anyway and make up an excuse to leave if you don't like what you hear. You should have no problem ending the date quickly if you're using a good venue like a bar or cafe. Are you being a dick by walking out right at the start of a date? Maybe, but if she wanted to avoid that she should have had a damn phone conversation with you.

[CJ]

No, you're right that this should raise a red flag. I'm not much of an expert on online dating, but something seems screwy here. Just stick to your guns and call it off. At least she's 24 and not 16, or else you might be exchanging emails with Chris Hansen.

[tomtud]

Talk to her,, develop a bit of a repoire.... texting sometimes its delayed, so you lose the flow at times.... See if you can manage a good convo on the phone, then commit otherwise you may be pulling teeth on the date or worse get stood up....

[iknowexactly]

Difficult women remain difficult. It doesn't matter WHAT they pick to be difficult about.

[Tim9000]

tomtud, you need to read more carefully before you post! I *can't* get this woman on the phone at all, and I was asking if anyone could think of a reason why, given the circumstances.

A buddy of mine put forth this hypothesis: young women, for whatever asinine reason, may feel that making plans over SMS is somehow less concrete than making plans over the phone. So if a woman wants to keep her options open until the last possible moment, she'll make plans over SMS but avoid voice. In her mind, writing "lol! see you tomorrow night!" is *not* equivalent to saying *exactly* the same thing via voice. The theory sounds plausible.

Tim

[MiXX]

(04-29-2011 08:22 PM)CJ Wrote:  

At least she's 24 and not 16, or else you might be exchanging emails with Chris Hansen.

Lmao!!!! I love that show!!!

Mixx

[Gmac]

(04-29-2011 05:40 PM)Tim9000 Wrote:  

I'm a bit older than most guys here and keenly aware of the generation gap between me and the mid-20's women I game. 20's women are all about texting and all but done with voice calls, and that's fine with me *except* for when I meet women on-line. Ideally, I'd rather not agree to a date without a quick phone chat to verify that the woman's voice sounds at least somewhat feminine, though I will do it on a weeknight if the date is nearby. Recently, 24yo woman contacted me on match.com--she's *much* younger than me and she looks great in her photos. She's a grad student in Providence while I live in Cambridge (i.e. Boston), and she wants me to come down to meet her in Providence on a Friday night. That's about a hour's drive and there's no way I'm going to commit a Friday night to her without a quick phone chat, but SHE WON'T DO IT! She's not a scammer, as I've found her image on her deparment's web site and her whole story matches up with what she's written me. So my question is, why won't this women call me, or pick up the phone when I call her? We'll be texting back-and-forth and at some point I'll simply write "call me" and she'll either ignore it or make up some lame excuse (e.g. she doesn't want to be distracted from studying). Can anyone here think of a reason that a normal girl would be so hesitant to talk on the phone with a much older guy she wants to drive a good distance to visit her? Am I being an idiot for not just going down?

Tim

You're not an idiot for not wanting to go, but I don't think you have anything to worry about. Meet somewhere in between, don't play by her rules. Women are stupid like this all the time.

[D. Goodnuts]

Texting = limp dicks and dry vaginas
Talking = semi's and damp vaginas
Fucking = end of conversation

[CupCake]

I get this a lot too. I take this as a sign of being non-committal or fearful. Either way, I'd avoid it, especially if you're expected to make a trip to see her. A girl who wants to see you will make effort.

Think about what you're about to tell this girl: "It's ok for you not to make a simple effort for me, I'll still go WAY out of my way for you".

She has better things to do than talk to you. You have better things to do than talk to her. Leave it at that.

[Giovonny]

Do not drive an hour to go meet a girl who will not even talk to you on the phone!

RED FLAG!!!

probably a man trolling the dating site!