Background: It’s been a little more than a year since my first cold approach, and so now seems like a good time to reflect on my experiences.
I started off as an omega with very little experience until I moved to Asia to teach English. I did alright there even before learning about game. When I discovered game a few years ago, I applied it mostly to internet game and my social circle. Until last year, I avoided building my game from the ground up via the cold approach. Here is what I’ve learned in that year.
What’s the hardest part of game?
Maintaining consistent effort is the hardest part of game. If you’re new, you should probably be going out 3-5 times a week, if not more. Week after week, that gets to be quite a grind. My job doesn’t take up a lot of time and I don’t work hard at it, but even so I find it hard to get out there. What separates Roosh, Krauser and the other greats from the rest of us is their ability to work through the grind. I’ve met a few approach machines over the last year and I’m in awe at their commitment. For whatever reason, I don’t have the same kind of drive.
How do you select your targets?
If you have high standards, you’ll be standing around a lot waiting. Your mind will wonder and then if you see one you might be so wrapped up in your head that the moment passes. This is what happens to me. Another problem with high standards is that oftentimes it’s a means of avoidance. You might say to yourself she’s not that hot even though she’s good enough. What you’re really doing is coming up with an excuse. Unless you live in New York or Kiev, I don’t think you can afford to be too picky. At the beginning you should be a spammer. I’ve struggled with this and it’s really held up my progress.
Is day game or night game better?
For me, day game is best. I never was much of a night owl and as I’m getting on in years it’s even harder for me to go out at night. This leads to the next question:
When do you go direct and when do you go indirect?
The most successful technique for me has been the direct day street approach. My opener is something along the lines of, “I couldn’t let you go without saying hello.” Indirect street stuff feels inauthentic. I got a variation of the pet shop thing to work alright in Kiev (Roosh’s variation on GALNUC works great), but it didn’t work at all in Poland. In America, my street game has been all direct and I’m fairly happy with the results. I finally got a bang out of it, and a couple of other near bangs. The problem is that for street game you need weather. Right now I feel like a hunter at the onset of the last ice age. Either move south or starve. Or hunt woolly mammoths.
In a coffee shop or bookstore, indirect is the way to go (use Roosh's GALNUC). The problem I have in the coffee shop is that it’s hard for me to compartmentalize. If I’m working, I don’t want to approach. You really have to work on always being on if you’re going to do coffee shop game. Street game is good for beginners I think because they can pump themselves up for it and focus. At night, indirect is also the way to go. This is because if you talk to a girl at a bar or club, she knows what’s up.
Is having a wing better than flying solo?
Yes. It’s important that your wing is someone that you could be friends with outside of game. During day game, there’s a lot of downtime. You need to keep it light with someone and have someone push you forward. At night, girls will believe that you’re really friends if you actually look like you are. I approach much more with good wings than without them, or alone. I’ve learned a lot watching and talking to other forum guys. Shout outs in particular to Dantes and Cobra. Without their help, I don’t know where I’d be. That said, it’s essential to learn how to fly solo, especially for a day gamer. I really need to work on this.
Is internet game a waste of time?
Yes. I came back to the U.S. in the winter. Without day game as an option I got a few online dating accounts. Any site that requires you to write a message isn’t worth your time. The talent is god-awful, and they probably aren’t reading your messages anyway. Tinder is alright because it’s low investment. You can swipe while on the toilet. I get the impression that Tinder is a young man’s game. If you’re young, good looking, and photogenic, you could do quite well. For guys in their 30’s looking to date girls in their early 20’s, you probably won’t be in their search criteria. Stop them on the street or in the coffee shop and it’s a different story. If you were ever thinking about retaking the blue pill, get yourself an OK Cupid account and look at the suggested matches. I can’t think of a better public service announcement for game.
Does America suck?
Yes. However, it doesn’t suck quite as much as I thought it would. When I took the red pill abroad, I’d read anti-American articles and comfort myself with the thought that my personal failures are really explained by having been trapped in such a wretched culture. Now that I’m back, I think I can see more clearly the good and the bad about America.
The quality of girl in America in general does not compare favorably with (particularly eastern) Europe or East Asia. Some of this is simply cosmetic: Even cute American girls dress like slobs. Try to convincingly make a direct approach on a girl in sweats and hair in a bun. However, I haven’t found as many obese women as I was expecting. This might be because I’m in a yuppie area of a major city. I also haven’t found American women to be too bitchy or standoffish during approaches.
One of the benefits of dating American girls—or Europeans with near native English—is that you get to, and indeed have to, use your entire game repertoire along with your entire personality. Matt Forney wrote that if you can’t get laid in your own culture you won’t get laid in others. I pretty much agree. You’ll probably get laid more in other countries, but a lot of that will be with racial fetishists. Nothing wrong with that. But if you’re going abroad to learn game, remember that your foreign status will cover up a lot of your shortcomings in game. Foreign status is like a “weird/awkward guy” odor remover. Girls from your own country can smell weirdness on you. Foreign girls might mistake your weirdness for a national eccentricity. Game in your own country first.
Are you happy with your results?
No. I can’t help but feel like I should have more successes than I’ve had. I’m not sure what’s lacking. Certainly a big part of the problem is that I don’t go out and approach enough. What I’ve learned after a year of game is how much I don’t know about it and how far I am from where I want to be. Hunting is hard. However, Ich kann nicht anders.
I started off as an omega with very little experience until I moved to Asia to teach English. I did alright there even before learning about game. When I discovered game a few years ago, I applied it mostly to internet game and my social circle. Until last year, I avoided building my game from the ground up via the cold approach. Here is what I’ve learned in that year.
What’s the hardest part of game?
Maintaining consistent effort is the hardest part of game. If you’re new, you should probably be going out 3-5 times a week, if not more. Week after week, that gets to be quite a grind. My job doesn’t take up a lot of time and I don’t work hard at it, but even so I find it hard to get out there. What separates Roosh, Krauser and the other greats from the rest of us is their ability to work through the grind. I’ve met a few approach machines over the last year and I’m in awe at their commitment. For whatever reason, I don’t have the same kind of drive.
How do you select your targets?
If you have high standards, you’ll be standing around a lot waiting. Your mind will wonder and then if you see one you might be so wrapped up in your head that the moment passes. This is what happens to me. Another problem with high standards is that oftentimes it’s a means of avoidance. You might say to yourself she’s not that hot even though she’s good enough. What you’re really doing is coming up with an excuse. Unless you live in New York or Kiev, I don’t think you can afford to be too picky. At the beginning you should be a spammer. I’ve struggled with this and it’s really held up my progress.
Is day game or night game better?
For me, day game is best. I never was much of a night owl and as I’m getting on in years it’s even harder for me to go out at night. This leads to the next question:
When do you go direct and when do you go indirect?
The most successful technique for me has been the direct day street approach. My opener is something along the lines of, “I couldn’t let you go without saying hello.” Indirect street stuff feels inauthentic. I got a variation of the pet shop thing to work alright in Kiev (Roosh’s variation on GALNUC works great), but it didn’t work at all in Poland. In America, my street game has been all direct and I’m fairly happy with the results. I finally got a bang out of it, and a couple of other near bangs. The problem is that for street game you need weather. Right now I feel like a hunter at the onset of the last ice age. Either move south or starve. Or hunt woolly mammoths.
In a coffee shop or bookstore, indirect is the way to go (use Roosh's GALNUC). The problem I have in the coffee shop is that it’s hard for me to compartmentalize. If I’m working, I don’t want to approach. You really have to work on always being on if you’re going to do coffee shop game. Street game is good for beginners I think because they can pump themselves up for it and focus. At night, indirect is also the way to go. This is because if you talk to a girl at a bar or club, she knows what’s up.
Is having a wing better than flying solo?
Yes. It’s important that your wing is someone that you could be friends with outside of game. During day game, there’s a lot of downtime. You need to keep it light with someone and have someone push you forward. At night, girls will believe that you’re really friends if you actually look like you are. I approach much more with good wings than without them, or alone. I’ve learned a lot watching and talking to other forum guys. Shout outs in particular to Dantes and Cobra. Without their help, I don’t know where I’d be. That said, it’s essential to learn how to fly solo, especially for a day gamer. I really need to work on this.
Is internet game a waste of time?
Yes. I came back to the U.S. in the winter. Without day game as an option I got a few online dating accounts. Any site that requires you to write a message isn’t worth your time. The talent is god-awful, and they probably aren’t reading your messages anyway. Tinder is alright because it’s low investment. You can swipe while on the toilet. I get the impression that Tinder is a young man’s game. If you’re young, good looking, and photogenic, you could do quite well. For guys in their 30’s looking to date girls in their early 20’s, you probably won’t be in their search criteria. Stop them on the street or in the coffee shop and it’s a different story. If you were ever thinking about retaking the blue pill, get yourself an OK Cupid account and look at the suggested matches. I can’t think of a better public service announcement for game.
Does America suck?
Yes. However, it doesn’t suck quite as much as I thought it would. When I took the red pill abroad, I’d read anti-American articles and comfort myself with the thought that my personal failures are really explained by having been trapped in such a wretched culture. Now that I’m back, I think I can see more clearly the good and the bad about America.
The quality of girl in America in general does not compare favorably with (particularly eastern) Europe or East Asia. Some of this is simply cosmetic: Even cute American girls dress like slobs. Try to convincingly make a direct approach on a girl in sweats and hair in a bun. However, I haven’t found as many obese women as I was expecting. This might be because I’m in a yuppie area of a major city. I also haven’t found American women to be too bitchy or standoffish during approaches.
One of the benefits of dating American girls—or Europeans with near native English—is that you get to, and indeed have to, use your entire game repertoire along with your entire personality. Matt Forney wrote that if you can’t get laid in your own culture you won’t get laid in others. I pretty much agree. You’ll probably get laid more in other countries, but a lot of that will be with racial fetishists. Nothing wrong with that. But if you’re going abroad to learn game, remember that your foreign status will cover up a lot of your shortcomings in game. Foreign status is like a “weird/awkward guy” odor remover. Girls from your own country can smell weirdness on you. Foreign girls might mistake your weirdness for a national eccentricity. Game in your own country first.
Are you happy with your results?
No. I can’t help but feel like I should have more successes than I’ve had. I’m not sure what’s lacking. Certainly a big part of the problem is that I don’t go out and approach enough. What I’ve learned after a year of game is how much I don’t know about it and how far I am from where I want to be. Hunting is hard. However, Ich kann nicht anders.
