[Swordfish]

Hi,

New poster here.

- Literally just coming out of a very longterm relationship, so rusty as hell. Never was into game before that, and not a pick up artist - serial mini relationships was my style.

- I am a film producer, so used to dealing with very powerful people. My networker and social skills seem to be fit best at the higher end of society, though my natural instincts is not at all high end - my biggest hobby is travel, and I love going off the beaten path - have visited countries like Iran, Zimbabwe, the Caucasus.

- I have never been a PUA, and I won't likely ever be one. I am more interested in rebuilding myself after the last relationship. Actually, women are already coming to me even though I am nowhere close to finishing the rebuild. Have been too passive in the past - akin to a Scandinavian male.

- I am seen by overachieving women as a LTR target and perhaps even a trophy. I had successive relationships with a doctor 8, a banker 6, and a lawyer 8. Now I am single again, it would be too easy to get sucked back into another LTR with a banker or lawyer in the 7-8 range.

- Fully aware that high powered women could be my natural demographic but I need a break and a change of pace.

- Primarily interested in arty, fun, 25-35 age group, which is my age group. Seem to do well with them.

Maybe we can get a thread going on how to drop the social demographic you do best in, and move on to a different one that you are more interested in.

Kinda like Gaugin, who dumped the French upper-middle class for the native women of the South Pacific.

[Sonoma]

Go to Marina del Rey hipster bars and if you bang anyone it'll definitely be outside of your traditional demographic.

But really, just get used to approaching everyone everywhere, and some of those will land outside what you traditionally go for. You said you'll never be a PUA but the confidence built by habitually approaching is unbelievably valuable.

I also don't know what you've used to find girls, but try something new. Set up a Tinder. Lie. Lie about a ton of things and have fun being a new person and meeting new people. It's not about impressing girls, it's just about putting on a different persona which can remove anxiety or worry about how you come across

[Swordfish]

(12-14-2014 10:48 PM)Sonoma Wrote:  

Go to Marina del Rey hipster bars and if you bang anyone it'll definitely be outside of your traditional demographic.

But really, just get used to approaching everyone everywhere, and some of those will land outside what you traditionally go for. You said you'll never be a PUA but the confidence built by habitually approaching is unbelievably valuable.

I also don't know what you've used to find girls, but try something new. Set up a Tinder. Lie. Lie about a ton of things and have fun being a new person and meeting new people. It's not about impressing girls, it's just about putting on a different persona which can remove anxiety or worry about how you come across

While I still visit the US often, I no longer live there. Europe is my base now, and I like it just fine.

I have no issues with talking to strangers. In fact, I am rather good at it. Just that I have never specifically targeted women (since I am more or less always in a relationship).

Believe it or not, I have never actually tried to find women. I have no more than 3-4 mini relationships a year. It is not hard to meet 3-4 reasonably attractive women a year....when you are living in a reasonably large city

My challenges are that I move around a lot more now, and usually spend between 2-4 weeks in one country before I have to move out again.

How do you build a rotation when you are hardly ever in the same city for more than a month every year

[monster]

(12-14-2014 11:10 PM)Swordfish Wrote:  

How do you build a rotation when you are hardly ever in the same city for more than a month every year

You could pipeline by doing online game prior to visiting the city.

[BlurredSevens]

Man, it sounds like you have a good mindset and potential. As a film producer, you've already got a cool lifestyle going for you, but sounds like you need to learn some game mechanics.

If you're serious, I'd say go and read Roosh's many books, Krauser's daygame book, and Giovonny's many posts on game, and you will be on the right track. You can probably do younger than age 25 with a bit of practice and experience.

Good luck and have fun!

[Swordfish]

blurredsevens,

good tips

giovonny rocks!

[Swordfish]

hmm....my first attempt to dump my old social circle didn't go so well.

when i go out, it has always been with my existing network, which is made up of high value people. The women with us are not just 7s, 8s, and 9s, they are the high end. for example, the 7 is fashion editor of a very famous magazine and the last party she threw that i went to, was crawling with models 9s and 10s. (bonus - gender ratio was like 70% in favor of women and the remaining 30% men were mostly either gay, or fugly. negative - many of the girls were quasi jailbait 15 to 17 year olds. think the oldest girl i chatted with was 20)

so i happily ditched my regular group and went to a jazz bar on my own.

but damned. i really have zero game in this setting.

i wasn't even intending to pick anyone up. Even a friendly chat to the 6 next to me got me a full frontal zap from her bitch shield.

first she asked me for my number. I gave it to her, a little unwillingly because she was a pain and i was too polite to say no.

30 minutes later, she phones her boyfriend in and tells him i was trying to pick her up and tries to provoke a fight. WTF?

the funniest thing was that her brother was next to us all the time, and he was completely on my side. He told his sister something along the lines 'Are you for real? This dude was not at all interested in you'. That saved a punch up which would probably would have put me in jail. My military training - don't get into a fight, but if you have to, take the perp out quickly and with extreme prejudice. I was already sizing up a swing of my beer bottle into the soft cartilage of his nose.

is this kind of women fairly common in clubs?

she was from toronto. maybe this is why toronto gets slagged off here all the time

[The Beast1]

Beyond trying to limit yourself from an ex who can potentially poison friendships, there isn't much to gain from bridge burning.

I'm all for a good bridge burning, but what's the impetus on your end for this?

[apoclater]

I'm not following a lot of what you're saying, but here's how I dumped my old social circle:

1. Stop hanging out with the old social circle
2. Start hanging out at places where people you want to meet hang out
3. Talk to people

Boom, dumped your old circle and got a new one in three easy steps.

[Travesty]

First and foremost if you are for real write a datasheet on how to become a successful film producer.

Ok your current social circle is filled with 7-9s chicks that throw social events with even younger hotter chicks and you are trying to get away to pick up hipster chicks at a jazz bar?

This sounds like insanity.

Also your story of the girl calling her BF to fight you after her asking for your number sounds like Little Dark is starting to send you cliff notes...

[Swordfish]

hi frenchie, this is probably not an end. more of a temporary hiatus or a change of pace

travesty444, i think i am 2 years away from being qualified enough to write a film producer data sheet. don't know who little dark is. my social circle is full of the most alpha-lest females you can imagine. much as i love them, i need a break.

apoclater, your advice is the simplest but probably the truest. Step 2 is a little off-putting though. its a bit like after i have driving with a auto for the first 10 years, then moving to a country where you end up with a stick shift and stalling like a goddamn fool in a rotary.

[Swordfish]

lets go with that analogy, because it also happens to be something true that happened to me. (no, i didn't crib it from little dark, whoever this person is)

you been driving in the US for almost a decade. only automatic shift. you drive in the largest cities, you drive on cross country trips, you have never had an accident. Ok, so driving becomes something you take for granted.

then you move to the UK. for a variety of reasons, your first car is a manual. You think - this probably won't be very difficult. I already know everything but the goddamn stick. in fact, i can figure this out myself without taking any lessons (this is just pre-youtube era), especially since i learnt how to drive in the US without taking any lessons.
Then boom, your very first trip taking the car out, you flame out not 5 minutes from your house when you come across the first, real-ass, three lane packed full of cars, rotary.

the stops and starts in the queue to the rotary, and the inching along while in the rotary, your goddamn stick shift stalls a dozen times and annoys the hell out of all the other drivers. i wasn't even 30 but i remember thinking - i'm too old for this shit. 17 year olds stall cars, not me.

this describes me as a poster, currently taking my new gaming stick shift out the garage. i know a rotary will be coming, and all i am trying to do is to minimize the number of stalls.

i guess giovonny will say let the motherfucker stall as often as it needs to. ignore all the other drivers. its just a drive, they will survive being 40 seconds late to their destination

[Wreckingball]

I am also looking to ditch part of my "social circle". The process has started a while ago.
Why?
They bring nothing to me and, if I ever need something very important, I cannot count on them. They are boring, always doing the same things. I'd rather be alone. I'm still getting some courage to go out solo for a drink.

Swordfish, I hope all goes well with you.

[The Beast1]

I've done all sorts of bridge burning in my day. The best thing to do is just go radio silent. They'll call and IM you, say you're busy and if they want to spend time with you then they should come to you.

Personally, i've become somewhat of a hermit myself. I don't really contact people, I just let them hit me up and come to me. If you're time is really valued, they'll come to you.