[enderilluminatus]

EDIT: FUCK YEAH PAGE TWO!

I didn't go out today, my parents needed help in the yard and wanted to watch the Lions game so I stayed in. I think this would be a good time to mention that I live at home with them. This is mostly due to the fact that I hit rock bottom a few months ago and basically wasn't able to make it through a single day without weed, booze, and/or adderal. I moved back in, sobered up, and quit my video game forum and joined here. Since then they've been stunned at the progress I've made.

My diet went well today, it is honestly incredible how filling raw onion can be. I also really enjoy raw avocado, even the texture.

I took my longest cold shower yet! I got in the shower (set to lukewarm) and everytime I could stand it, I turned it slightly colder. I lasted as long as this song:

I've officially decided to sell my TV, Wii U, 3DS XL, and PS3 and use the money to buy the iPhone 5c. I don't need to play video games anymore, I would rather be in the real world. And if I absolutely need to scratch that gaming itch, I'll just spend $5 on a 100 hour JRPG with three different endings and play it forever.

I look way better in the mirror than when I made this topic. I see a guy who gives a shit about how he looks instead of a scruffy and chubby loser.

There's also a nearby hospital that is looking for part-time work on the weekends for their gym. This would mean I work every day but I would be fine with that. I would have a nearby gym, new chances to meet girls, and extra cash. I'm still sticking to my convict conditioning program exactly as it is outlined, but it wouldn't hurt for the future.

Thank you everyone who has posted here to encourage me and give advice. I welcome and appreciate it.

S2E7 of Seinfeld is just unfiltered Game advice, how bizarre. Also the infamous coffee fuck up by George. Also Jerry debates himself out of willing pussy. I can't watch this show except to study it now. And the voice mail made me physically nauseous.

[shameus_o'reaaly]

Cool thread! I'm starting a similar plan- I just bought Convict Conditioning too and I'm 3 weeks into abstinence from drinking and fapping.

(12-15-2014 12:32 AM)enderilluminatus Wrote:  

My diet went well today, it is honestly incredible how filling raw onion can be.

Did George inspire that or is it in the weightloss book?

(I've got the boxset of series 5)

[Travesty]

(12-09-2014 02:40 PM)enderilluminatus Wrote:  

I didn't approach any girls today but I also did not see any girls I wanted to fuck.

If you stick with this you need to think real hard about moving to an environment where you see chicks you want to bang in your everyday life.

I know people here will be impressed with your exercise routine, sobriety, and cleaning up your life. Who wouldn't? You could be on the LifeTime Channel. But this is RVF, not LifeTime.

Lots of betas that are good looking in shape and have their shit together don't get laid.

Keep your mental focus on # of approaches. Until you get to about 200 you most likely won't have any huge break throughs. Also think about working a part time gig at a nice restaurant bar with hot waitresses/hostesses or a club.

[enderilluminatus]

(12-15-2014 04:32 PM)shameus_oreaaly Wrote:  

Did George inspire that or is it in the weightloss book?

I LOVE this clip. Seriously so amazing. But yeah, the book recommends making the majority of my diet raw vegetables and fruit.

(12-15-2014 09:56 PM)Travesty444 Wrote:  

If you stick with this you need to think real hard about moving to an environment where you see chicks you want to bang in your everyday life.

Keep your mental focus on # of approaches. Until you get to about 200 you most likely won't have any huge break throughs. Also think about working a part time gig at a nice restaurant bar with hot waitresses/hostesses or a club.

Excellent advice. I do need to move and I will, but first I need to save up money to pay back my parents. I will be here for at least a year, maybe two. That's why I want to get all of my practice done now. Good idea about the serving job, I have a lot of experience in that area. I'll start looking for a job just for weekends. I know that I am using this as a journal for my self-improvement, but I hope you can see how that is ultimately connected to my willingness to approach. I want to look and feel good, so I'm focusing on that a ton. I absolutely agree that my primary focus should be the actual approaches. I am going downtown tomorrow, I will find a way to get more of them.

Work went fine today, although kind of boring. I'm finishing off my onion and about to start up Seinfeld and then get some sleep.

I'm also sexting with a horny teenage virgin WB+ from Tinder an hour north of me. I'm making her do naughty stuff and then show me, it is kinda hot. Hopefully I can get her to meet me next weekend and get working on her cherry.

[enderilluminatus]

Welp, she wants me to come over tomorrow and "watch a movie" so I'm either going to die or get laid. My online/text game is fucking ridiculous. I just need to catch up with all the girls who aren't online looking for cock. I've banged about a dozen girls in the last four years due to okcupid and tinder.

[enderilluminatus]

If I don't post again, I died for the poosy.

[enderilluminatus]

Ugh online dating really is a complete waste of time. The girls always have the most flattering picture that's ever been taken of them and actually meeting them is a disappointment. Still, blowjob.

[redbeard]

Dude...100 approaches. Online should be a supplement to your game, not the sole source of pussy.

[The Reactionary Tree]

(12-16-2014 10:41 AM)enderilluminatus Wrote:  

Ugh online dating really is a complete waste of time. The girls always have the most flattering picture that's ever been taken of them and actually meeting them is a disappointment. Still, blowjob.

I am realizing this as well. I've been having a case of the avoidance weasel because I need to do my 100 approaches (I dont know if I'll do a thread about it or not). Online women are just not worth it. Tinder and OKCupid have been massive wastes of time for me lately. It's winter here now & college classes are done for the semester. In 2015, I need to hit the college campuses and make it happen. So should you OP. We both need to stop wasting our time with the internet.

joining OKCupid was probably the best thing I did to realize this. I have never seen so many broken, omega, entitled women in my entire life. Tell avoidance weasel to shut up, hit the streets, and do the approaches.

[enderilluminatus]

You're right redbeard. I have deleted my dating apps.

You're also right The Reactionary Tree. My avoidance weasel was taking over. In fact, it took over so much that I started avoiding this topic and, well...

Not with the drugs, that won't ever be an issue again. It was with the hot showers and the junk food and the sleeping until I had just enough time to get to work. Basically all of the stuff I was actively working on fixing since I started this thread. I feel physically awful right now, mostly due to the massive amount of junk food I forced into my stomach. I weighed 174.5 before I did all of this and now I'm up to 182.

Why do we fall? So we can pick ourselves back up. My Mom is really excited to pay for a 21 day paleo class for us to take together. I'm glad to see her excited about eating healthy and this will happen in January. Until then I will follow my current diet and see if they can talk me into eating meat. Otherwise there doesn't seem to be much difference between paleo and what I'm doing now.

I had also stopped watching Seinfeld and even thinking about approaches. I was just too far gone and felt too defeated. I know this all stemmed from messing around with a girl I didn't even find attractive. That cannot continue. I want the next girl I kiss to be someone I actually want to kiss, someone that I met in public because I approached her. And then fuck her, obviously.

Tomorrow is a new day and I will begin the process again. I am beginning it again, right now, by typing this up and posting it. This is how much of a struggle it is to do this for myself. But I will not stop trying.

Everything I did again is either hollow or fleeting. What is a hot shower except when I am in it? What is junk food except when it is about to be swallowed? I don't enjoy those things as I type this up, but I do suffer the consequences.

What is a life without the excitement of seducing beautiful women because I can? An ordinary life. I will not choose it by default.

[enderilluminatus]

It is disheartening to chicken out on asking a really cute girl if she knows where the cat books are, only to watch her walk out the store.

[The Reactionary Tree]

(12-20-2014 04:14 PM)enderilluminatus Wrote:  

It is disheartening to chicken out on asking a really cute girl if she knows where the cat books are, only to watch her walk out the store.

Hopefully you can channel that feeling in the future to remind yourself about how unpleasant it feels to let them get away from you.