This article,
Projecting status is a key topic among men who think that talking to women demands technique
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A rude girl expressing her disenchantment with PUA techniques.
Projecting status is a key topic among men who think that talking to women demands technique
A rude girl expressing her disenchantment with PUA techniques.Quote:Quote:
For months now I have come across men who buy into the idea of Negging. That’s when a man makes negative remarks supposedly designed to prompt banter, to a woman perceived as high status (and thus used to being lavished with praise), in order to project his own greater status.
The projecting of status is a key topic among men who think that talking to women and having relationships demands technique. The idea is that they use a catnip-like combination of power and charm, triggering interest in the female target. Sometimes – and apparently without irony – the word Charisma is used to define it.
This week, I got a message that said: “I’m not intimidated by you, but I can see that you’re a waste of my time.” I hope he didn’t pay a lot and go on a residential course, or anything, because I just ignored him. Another wrote: “In general, I avoid oneitis but you might be the one.” I looked up oneitis. Apparently it’s to do with fixation on a particular woman and the belief that only she will do, when “the truth” is that the world is full of women all equally suitable.
Recently, I heard from a man in Ireland. “I notice you say you like modern art,” he wrote. “This doesn’t reflect well on you because it’s all celebrity and basically shit, and contradictory because you also say you hate celebrity culture.”
“Modern art is like modern anything else,” I wrote back, bashing the keys a little harder than usual. “It needs to be judged case by case. It can’t be written off simply because it’s modern.”
“You’re a very attractive woman, on the outside, and I knew you’d be as interesting on the inside,” he wrote.
“I think I read that line on a website somewhere,” I told him.
Silence.
“A PUA website. Women read them too, you know. They don’t have hormonally activated locks or anything.”
Silence.
“Why do you feel the need to use somebody else’s words? It’s none of my business I know, but I’m sure you’d be more successful if you were yourself.”
Silence.
“OK, you don’t want to talk about it and that’s fine, but on saying farewell here’s a piece of advice: in general, women can sense when they are being fed lines, or being managed, and we don’t like it, and so it’s counter-productive. Bye.”
Two days later, he replied. “You women should stay out of the manosphere. It’s not for you.”
I sent my response: “I don’t understand why you’d use these lame set approaches, when you say on your profile that you’re Looking for the One.”
“Women like to hear that.”
“So it’s just another line.”
“You’re talking to me, aren’t you. If I’d written ‘Hi, fancy a cup of coffee?’ like I used to, you would have said no.”
“How do you know that? You don’t know that.”
“Women here are a nightmare; they think that because there are search fields, they can get princessy about only having a prince.”
Another man was open about saying he was a practitioner of Charisma.
“Charisma – are you a PUA-type?” I asked.
“Whoa. You’re very well informed,” he replied, with three kisses and two smileys.
“So why do you do it?”
“It’s a way of getting badly behaved women to go to bed with me.”
“Badly behaved how?”
“Women who can be charmed into bed by a stranger.”
“Who are they, these women?”
“I meet them on Twitter. Twitter’s a player’s paradise. Using Charisma means I get to date women out of my league. Usually I only get to date the fat ones.”
