[MidWest]

Ok, so what do you do when a woman tells you a story of her life and how she's depressed all while she is crying.

For example. Yesterday I was talking to this chick I was banging, and she kept going about how she misses her brother who died in an accident and asking for my advice while crying.

Before that she told me another story about her being depressed and how her mom and dad are dicks to her and that her situation is unbearable all while crying.


Ok, so if this happened to me before I discovered this forum, given my beta tendencies back then, I probably would have tried to console her and tell her things she wanted to hear like "its not your fault" and things of that nature. But now, having learned red-pill thinking has made me more ruthless and cold-hearted in these situations where I get disgusted and I don't want to hear it. But i've never encountered a girl who straight up cried, so I really didn't know what to do, so I just kissed her and hugged her without saying a word and just shook my head with everything she was telling me.

What would have been the response from you guys based on this? Thanks.

[Kissinger2014]

Don't try to be her therapist.

If she tells you her problems, do not try to solve them. Just say that's, "that unfortunate" and change the subject (e.g. "so do you feel like chicken tonight.").

If I was in your place in the first situation with the girl's brother dying, I'd say something that, "It must be really difficult. I've been fortunate not to have been in the same situation. I am sorry I can't be of much help" Then (like you did) kiss her (I'd do it on the forehead), and then go to another room. Come back a few minutes later and ask if she wants to get something to eat/watch a movie/etc.

[J DOE]

About a year ago, I dated a girl who would sit and whine about her "problems" almost endlessly. If you let her, she'd talk about her horrible family and tortured soul for hours on end. When I wouldn't answer her calls, she sent me a suicidal sounding text and so I called her and she was upset about something completely nonsensical "This girl at Chipotle looked at me funny and I could totally tell she was going to talk shit about it later!"

Finally she called me and I said, "Listen, we've had fun and all...but you're a really bad time," and cut her off. If she's going through something terrible then I can listen to her, but when it gets endless (especially if you don't really know her that well) then cut her ass off.

[Mufasa]

http://youtu.be/b8MZGr5YQ1Y

[RIslander]

Never console... unless its a LTR, a legitimate problem (relative died, laid off from job, etc) and clearly not attention seeking behavior.

For attention seeking behavior... ignore that shit.

All other situations... "that's too bad". Perhaps slide them a box of tissues.

[Days of Broken Arrows]

(11-17-2014 11:02 PM)J DOE Wrote:  

About a year ago, I dated a girl who would sit and whine about her "problems" almost endlessly. If you let her, she'd talk about her horrible family and tortured soul for hours on end. When I wouldn't answer her calls, she sent me a suicidal sounding text and so I called her and she was upset about something completely nonsensical "This girl at Chipotle looked at me funny and I could totally tell she was going to talk shit about it later!"

Finally she called me and I said, "Listen, we've had fun and all...but you're a really bad time," and cut her off. If she's going through something terrible then I can listen to her, but when it gets endless (especially if you don't really know her that well) then cut her ass off.

Haha! I dealt with insanity like this too. Every day brought another so-called crisis. One such problem was (get this) she thought the live-in maids in her dad's million-dollar house were ganging up on her. My God -- what a terrible life!!

I stopped taking the calls. I got "dumped" via answering machine and two long, nonsensical emails. She interpreted me not answering the phone is "passive-aggressive" not "running away from insanity as fast as I could."

[WestIndianArchie]

The real answer is

cut that bitch off

But you're really asking us
1) how to bang her, if you haven't banged her
2) how to get her out of her mood, if she's in your roster

Banging Her or Keeping Her on the Roster
- if she doesn't see you as someone bangable, but more like a best friend - you've become the emotional tampon.
- You're soaking up all her bullshit while she fucks the next dude, because she knows she can't come at him with that
- So you need to draw a line in the sand and basically say, "You can't be like this, and be with me."

The frame that you're looking for is
- i'm here for the good times
- i"m not here for the bad times
- you're on your own

Complete dickish, and more than willing to let her go by the wayside.

As has been said before on this board, Behavior > Beauty. No point in dealing with a pretty chick if her behavior isn't conducive to having relations with her. It will only bring you down. And it is very easy to get mired some magnetic tar pit trap.

Have I seen it work the other way? Where I guy helped a chick out, and she rewarded him with pussy and loyalty?

Yeah I have. Had an ex who'd been molested as a child. She came to grips with it after we broke up, but her next serious guy had the kind of resources that got her into counseling.

I don't know how much $ he put into that relationship, but they're married with children now. And she's devoted to him and the family. (Truthbetold I envy that situation, but at no point could I have bankrolled therapy and not been in the poor house)

Now the lesson from this story isn't to invest in a chick that is long term material.

My ex was in no way long term material when I knew her. In and out of clubs, sniffing cocaine when I wasn't looking...me and OgNorcal could buy a bar out comparing notes on scandalous chicks we've LTR'd in the past. (What up homey)

The lesson here is that her dude lived in a world of actual abundance. Putting some hot chick but with a really horrible background into counseling was probably one of many bets he made, and he came up.

So to reiterate

1) tell the chick that you don't tolerate that kind of behavior
2) If she don't comply cut that chick off

Featuring Boosie & Too $hort

WIA

[hoopsy]

Do not reinforce a feedback loop for you to be her shoulder to cry on.

When I first started gaming girls, I would listen and try to help out girls with their problems. Terrible idea.

Move on and change the whole conversation into a positive direction.

Also consider dropping her if you sense she may have 'problems'.

[Cr33pin]

[Rawmeo]

Get out of the friendzone and get out of this girl.

Girl telling you her sob stories / crying with you = friendzone.

[Brian Shima]

He said he's banged her gentle men, she probably is catching feelings for him and feels comfortable enough to open herself up

[Badamson]

One thing to keep in mind is that as men we have a natural tendency to look for a solution to a problem, like "How can I fix this?" She's most likely not looking for you to provide a solution though and will probably resent you for trying. A girl in this situation is usually looking for empathy.

There's a method for girls(or guys) with "borderline personality disorder" in psychology called SET, which stands for support, empathy, truth, which might be useful in this situation.

When, I was younger I was really interested in learning how to deal with this stuff, because I dated some highly emotional broads. Now that I'm older and have less time and energy left to invest, I just console them and make a mental note to myself that I need to bail from this romantic situation soon. If you get into a long term relationship with this girl, from my experience, these crying episodes can become weekly or even [I]daily[I] events.

[bojangles]

Don't be a listener, that's what they used to tell all newbies getting into a game and you'd sit there being a 'good listener' and get nowhere.

You're already banging this girl and as badamson says there's a natural tendency for us to look to fix her problem(s). Provide her with empathy and be the man, lead her away from that conversation by slowly becoming playful, happy and changing the subject.

She's talking about a painful time in her life, she doesn't want you to indulge in it and keep her mind locked back to that, she wants you to help her move on and the best way to lead.

I had a girl with a boyfriend come over to my place in Croatia during the summer, she was crying about him and other stuff for around a minute. I pulled out my laptop and started playing some Beanie Man,
"oh I really like this song"
"yeah I love this sort of music"
"Go on let's see how bad your music taste?"
"Shut up you idiot"

Of course one thing led to another and I fucked her that night, she was generally happy after I led away from her negativity.

[Parlay44]

(11-18-2014 12:33 AM)hoopsy Wrote:  

Do not reinforce a feedback loop for you to be her shoulder to cry on.

When I first started gaming girls, I would listen and try to help out girls with their problems. Terrible idea.

Move on and change the whole conversation into a positive direction.

Also consider dropping her if you sense she may have 'problems'.

Women console each other. Men reframe the situation. Make her laugh then follow up with ...let's go to the bar and get drunk

[The Beast1]

Going to go against the grain,

If the problems are caused by no fault of her own (layoff, family death, etc) console her. Just let her vent. All they need is a shoulder to whine on.

If the problem was caused by her doing something, then offer the, "that sucks but you should have x,y,z. You have no one to blame but yourself."

I knew a girl that got really drunk and ended up getting double teamed by these two guys who broadcasted it to a whole dorm over Skype. She wanted to report it as a "rape" but I told her that she got drunk and the fault was clearly on her for being an idiot.

Use your best judgement, but sometimes you don't need to be cold.

[Glaucon]

[Parlay44]

(11-18-2014 09:15 AM)frenchie Wrote:  

I knew a girl that got really drunk and ended up getting double teamed by these two guys who broadcasted it to a whole dorm over Skype. She wanted to report it as a "rape" but I told her that she got drunk and the fault was clearly on her for being an idiot.

Use your best judgement, but sometimes you don't need to be cold.

Bitch got filled out like an application

[DJ-Matt]

Laugh


Yep any sympathy is a one-way ticket to Friendzone.

(11-17-2014 10:36 PM)Kissinger2014 Wrote:  

If she tells you her problems, do not try to solve them. Just say that's, "that unfortunate" and change the subject (e.g. "so do you feel like chicken tonight.").

[MidWest]

I think some of you guys misunderstood me. I'm not in the "friendzone." I already gamed her a long time ago. I'm actively banging this broad. My problem is not banging her, but dealing with her emotional episodes. She cries for the simplest things.

I'm not sure if its attention or genuine emotional feelings on her part, but its getting really annoying.


On another note. This one time I left my city (Chicago) to go to another city in Wisconsin for 3 weeks. Before I left I told her about it and she busted out crying saying that "she loved me" and was going to "miss me." Two day later when I was gone, I get some text messages from some of my boys telling me that she was seeing with other guys. So then I'm just mindblown. Really fucking weird.

[MdWanderer]

(11-18-2014 10:00 AM)MidWest Wrote:  

I think some of you guys misunderstood me. I'm not in the "friendzone." I already gamed her a long time ago. I'm actively banging this broad. My problem is not banging her, but dealing with her emotional episodes. She cries for the simplest things.

I'm not sure if its attention or genuine emotional feelings on her part, but its getting really annoying.

I would still go with 'that's unfortunate' and say nothing. You're not in the friendzone now but being her crying shoulder could put you there in time.

I actually had to deal with this a while back. A girl I was with was telling me stories about her mom dying, her dad being a total dick and leaving the family, and how none of her friends showed up to her mother's funeral. Not wanting to be a total ass and telling her not to tell me about her problems (I would do that if she was bitching about an ex but not about a parent dying...that's not cool) but not wanting to be her emotional tampon I just said 'sorry to hear that' and then went radio silent. Banged her that night.

[Lizard King]

She sounds like the type of girl that you could have a lot of sex with.

Handle with caution.

[Helmutnl]

Give her a napkin for Christ's sake but close your ears while she's talking!

[StrikeBack]

Whenever she starts one of those episodes, lead her away to do something else with you to "clear her mind". You want to get the pattern in her head that you're the fun guy for her to escape from her problems, but a very bad problem solver and listener. She can talk about her problems with her mum or girl/gayfriends.

[lowside]

(11-18-2014 02:14 AM)alex3948 Wrote:  

Get out of the friendzone and get out of this girl.

Girl telling you her sob stories / crying with you = friendzone.

this is true. but he already banged her, does that still count?

[Giovonny]

- Nod your head

- Take mental notes of issues that are important to her

- Tell her that "everything will be okay".

- Give her a glass of wine

- Rub her shoulders

The rest is up to you!