[Seamus]

I'll try to make a long story short.

I spent a couple of years living in Colombia, and ended up dating a particular girl for the last half of that, with her eventually moving in with me. She was/is a smoking hot chick. A tall morena with big tits, a big ass, and a pretty face. She was also extremely loyal and jealous, like a lot of Colombian girls are. I had some hard times and she supported me through them. When I left to come back to the states I think she expected me to propose to her, and when I didn't I know it crushed her pretty bad.

Anyway, about six months after I got back she came across the border illegally on a whim. She told me it was to follow me and make things work. When I told her I didn't have room for her at my shared apartment in NYC (the truth) she flipped out, and ended up moving in with some relatives in Miami. I've seen her exactly once since then, when I was down there for some business. She spent one night with me, we fucked a couple of times, and that was it. I rawdogged her like usual, which looking back was really fucking stupid.

Anyway, about a week ago she sends me a pic of her in the hospital holding a baby, telling me it's mine. She hasn't asked for anything yet, and we haven't talked since then. But I'm really suspicious I'm being played here. First off, it's only been a bit over 7 months since we fucked, so that baby would be really premature. Second, the baby is as brown as she is, whereas I'm a pale white guy. Third, we only fucked a couple of times, so I'd have to be really unlucky. And fourth, I've caught her before in a bunch of little lies (e.g. she lied about her age by a year), although never anything this big.

Right now I'm trying to decide what to do. I'm late 20's and just starting a career, so the idea of settling down with this girl is scary as fuck (although ironically she is the exact sort of girl I plan to eventually be with 10 years down the line). Friends are telling me to just delete her number and cut off contact, but there's a lot of deadbeat dads in my extended family, and I don't want to be another one. I know if I straight out ask for a paternity test she'll freak out on me and refuse. Right now I'm thinking my best bet is to fly down there, surreptitiously cut off a few strands of hair or something, and get the test done behind her back.

Anybody gone through something similar?

[Foolsgo1d]

More red flags than you'd see in China.

If the kid doesn't even look at least half-way mixed race I am pretty sure she got laid up with some other guy.

[Tuthmosis]

Stopped believing her when I saw the word "Colombian."

[CimbomluBkk]

I doubt its your kid, but do a dna test to be on the safe side.

[Sp5]

Order a couple of DNA tests from 23 and me. Test yourself for your paternal line. You can visit her and swab the inside of the baby's cheek when she goes to the bathroom and also test for the paternal line

[scotian]

(11-03-2014 02:40 PM)Seamus Wrote:  

I'll try to make a long story short.

I spent a couple of years living in Colombia, and ended up dating a particular girl for the last half of that, with her eventually moving in with me. She was/is a smoking hot chick. A tall morena with big tits, a big ass, and a pretty face. She was also extremely loyal and jealous, like a lot of Colombian girls are. I had some hard times and she supported me through them. When I left to come back to the states I think she expected me to propose to her, and when I didn't I know it crushed her pretty bad.

[Seamus]

(11-03-2014 02:56 PM)scotian Wrote:  

Not your experience? I actually prefer Colombian girls to the chicks from everywhere else I've been (30 countries and counting). I'm obviously not talking about some prepago from Parque Lleras or some random club slut, but mostly middle class girls from good families. The girls I hooked up with down there were almost uniformly great. They'd come over and make dinner, do the dishes, bring me breakfast in bed, wash my clothes, I even had girls insist on running the shower for me.

But then they'd catch me checking out some girl's ass on the sidewalk and throw a huge tantrum, haha

[Seamus]

(11-03-2014 02:54 PM)Sp5 Wrote:  

Order a couple of DNA tests from 23 and me. Test yourself for your paternal line. You can visit her and swab the inside of the baby's cheek when she goes to the bathroom and also test for the paternal line

(11-03-2014 02:51 PM)CimbomluBkk Wrote:  

I doubt its your kid, but do a dna test to be on the safe side.

Think this is the route I'm going to take. I'd honestly be pretty shocked if it were mine, but I need to know for sure either way

[TravelerKai]

What's the physical danger of him going down there to sneak a DNA sample? What's the risk of that?

If your dates are accurate enough, you need to ask her if the baby was premature. Also when was the last time you banged her before that Miami trip? Do you withdraw or turkey baste?

[jariel]

I'll say this, Colombian men live by a code.

They go ham after the bitches when they are young, and by the time they are 25, they are left alone and usually with children, while the men go back to fucking some young chick who could be the old chick's little sister.

I think there's a reason for this code.

They know their women better than we do.

They know they have an expiration date and they don't stick around for them to become rotten.

The women are highly sexy, but fucking is about all they're good for; when guys start thinking they can cupcake with highly-attractive, high-maintenance women and everything will come up roses, they'll get pricked by the thorns.

Here in Miami, Colombian women are status symbols like luxury whips, but a lot of these men don't realize they're Jaguars, not Rolls-Royces.

Chances are you're not the father, I would not even bother having contact with her, make her do the work if she wants to prove that you are, and then respond when you're absolutely forced to. If that bothers you, then take the necessary steps to eliminate the possibility that you are as soon as possible so you can move on with your life.

Good luck man.

[jariel]

(11-03-2014 03:17 PM)Seamus Wrote:  

The girls I hooked up with down there were almost uniformly great. They'd come over and make dinner, do the dishes, bring me breakfast in bed, wash my clothes, I even had girls insist on running the shower for me.

Latin women run game when you're a catch, you gotta understand, they're not like White American women, they WANT to get married and have children, so when you're that guy they're open to doing that with, they will be very guarded about their territory.

Problem is, a lot of that shit is just game, once you're roped in you'll see a totally different side of them, most Latinas only get worse with age, that's why most of them are alone when they get older, they had very little to offer from the beginning, but the looks go, and the ass only gets fatter, then on top of that no man wants to spend his final years on Earth dealing with a ball-busting harpy.

I'm Latin, and I love Latinas, but they are what they are, ultimately, you make the choice to deal or not, I choose to get what I want from them and let someone else deal with the rest.

[Quintus Curtius]

Quote by Jariel:

....but the looks go, and the ass only gets fatter, then on top of that no man wants to spend his final years on Earth dealing with a ball-busting harpy.

[Seamus]

(11-03-2014 03:22 PM)TravelerKai Wrote:  

What's the physical danger of him going down there to sneak a DNA sample? What's the risk of that?

I don't think there's really any physical danger. She lives with her brothers, but I'm a helluva lot bigger than either one of them. I'm not looking to use the test as legal evidence or anything, just peace of mind in case she tries to push the issue.

(11-03-2014 03:22 PM)TravelerKai Wrote:  

If your dates are accurate enough, you need to ask her if the baby was premature. Also when was the last time you banged her before that Miami trip? Do you withdraw or turkey baste?

She said it was premature, but in the photo she's holding it in her arms, it's not on a ventilator or anything. And if it's mine it would have to be from the Miami trip, where I did indeed turkey baste both times. She said she was on the pill, I was a dumbass, etc

[SamuelBRoberts]

Seamus-

Why bother? You don't gain anything by going down there.
Cut off contact. If you're really the father, she'll pursue you anyway and you can get a DNA test from there.
If not it isn't your problem.

[Seamus]

(11-03-2014 03:31 PM)jariel Wrote:  

I'll say this, Colombian men live by a code.

They go ham after the bitches when they are young, and by the time they are 25, they are left alone and usually with children, while the men go back to fucking some young chick who could be the old chick's little sister.

This is very true. Never have I seen so many young MILFs as walking around Medellin. I'm talking very sexy early 20's girls with two kids and no husband, dropping their babies off at their Mom's crib then hitting the club. Crazy shit.

(11-03-2014 03:31 PM)jariel Wrote:  

Problem is, a lot of that shit is just game, once you're roped in you'll see a totally different side of them, most Latinas only get worse with age, that's why most of them are alone when they get older, they had very little to offer from the beginning, but the looks go, and the ass only gets fatter, then on top of that no man wants to spend his final years on Earth dealing with a ball-busting harpy.

This is an interesting observation. I've never had a girl in the States jump through hoops for me like these Colombian girls did, but I've also never had as many shake-the-walls arguments either, and over the dumbest shit imaginable. For me the drama was worth it to be with banging chicks who loved playing housewife, but I can definitely see how the calculus might shift down the line. I also wonder if you might be seeing the worst of it in Miami though, where you have americanized latinas thrown into a very superficial environment.

(11-03-2014 03:31 PM)jariel Wrote:  

Chances are you're not the father, I would not even bother having contact with her, make her do the work if she wants to prove that you are, and then respond when you're absolutely forced to. If that bothers you, then take the necessary steps to eliminate the possibility that you are as soon as possible so you can move on with your life.

Good luck man.

Solid advice. If she honestly believes it's mine, she'll force my hand no doubt. I might just see how things play out over the next couple weeks

[Grange]

Do the paternity test. If it's yours she'll *want* you to. If it's not yours she'll drop it.

Also, in the future, don't rawdog crazy chicks. And they're almost all crazy.

[Carlos100]

If you tell her on the phone that you need to do a paternity test, she may explode and call you a bunch of names. Then, someone from her family may call you and chew you out and try to shame you. Stand firm. Once they give in and agree to the paternity test, if they start throwing up a bunch of hoops (we're busy this week, we found a clinic that will do it but they're booked solid for the next two months but you can trust us to get it done, the doctor says the test will be dangerous for the baby and we should wait until later, etc) tell her and her family to fuck off and to get back in touch with you when they're ready to be serious. If the baby isn't yours, you likely won't hear back from them.

[Onto]

An important questions is:

"If it's your's what do you want to do?"

If the answer is to be a part of their lives (it's a package deal) in some way then let her know you believe her but need a DNA test done before you make that kind of comittment to them.

If the answer is you want to go on with your life and they go on with theirs, then do nothing until she petitions the court for child support. She's in American now, the kid is a US Citizen, they won't be starving and if she's hot she will find a beta provider rather quickly.

[20Nation]

Take the picture and show it to a nurse that helps deliver babies or works with them (or doctor). They will probably be able to tell the difference between a 7 month old baby and a 9 month old.

Another thing. Colombians are notorious for being unfaithful. Using a key logger I never met another latin nationality that hides so much sex on the side. And she will NEVER fess up unless you corner her. I'm not only talking about poor girls either. I'm not saying your girl is like that because there are always exceptions to these things, but from your description of her, she sounds like a passaporte (doesn't mean she doesn't love you, but it is what it is)... so I wouldn't count on it. Be careful though if she knows your real name.

[scotian]

(11-03-2014 03:17 PM)Seamus Wrote:  

(11-03-2014 02:56 PM)scotian Wrote:  

Not your experience? I actually prefer Colombian girls to the chicks from everywhere else I've been (30 countries and counting). I'm obviously not talking about some prepago from Parque Lleras or some random club slut, but mostly middle class girls from good families. The girls I hooked up with down there were almost uniformly great. They'd come over and make dinner, do the dishes, bring me breakfast in bed, wash my clothes, I even had girls insist on running the shower for me.

But then they'd catch me checking out some girl's ass on the sidewalk and throw a huge tantrum, haha

I never really dated any Colombian girls seriously, but I probably should one of these days, I'm in Medellin now and damn these Paisas look good. I've never been in your situation, having avoided the pregnancy scares after all of these years but I'd like to think that if I was in your shoes, I'd do whatever I had to know if the baby was mine or not, good luck.

[Americas]

(11-03-2014 03:17 PM)Seamus Wrote:  

(11-03-2014 02:56 PM)scotian Wrote:  

Not your experience? I actually prefer Colombian girls to the chicks from everywhere else I've been (30 countries and counting). I'm obviously not talking about some prepago from Parque Lleras or some random club slut, but mostly middle class girls from good families. The girls I hooked up with down there were almost uniformly great. They'd come over and make dinner, do the dishes, bring me breakfast in bed, wash my clothes, I even had girls insist on running the shower for me.

But then they'd catch me checking out some girl's ass on the sidewalk and throw a huge tantrum, haha

Sure, there are some nice and sweet girls in Colombia. But loyal, they are not. Don't mistake homeyness for loyalty. And don't ever trust a Colombiana to be faithful.

Get the paternity test.

[tarquin]

Get an attorney from whatever state she is currently in. Paternity rules vary by state and I'm unfamiliar with Florida law, but if she put you on the birth certificate you may only have one year to contest paternity. One year of dealing with this is much better than 18+ years of dealing with a lie, no matter how uncomfortable it may be.

If you can go the surreptitious way like Sp5 suggests, do it and then go legal, but if you are otherwise confident go all out on legal defense strategy from the start.

[Sawyer]

Great advice in this thread.

Is there a legal notice requirement beyond pictures and innuendo that you were put on a birth certificate in any state? It seems to me that due process would require that actual legal service would be required. No legal service, no notice, no worries. It does not mean you can't remain friends with this girl and her child and if and when it develops features like yours step in as you see fit. But if you go legal before it's absolutely necessary it will tarnish the situation forever.

Always make the "adversary" go legal first. Play possum. She probably knows if it's yours and she'll do what she has to. There is nothing you can do about that.

Facts being equal, courts love a victim more, even if it's a man, and dislike an aggressor more, even if it's a woman. Don't be seen as a man and as a legal aggressor if you can help it. Check the birth certificate notice requirement.

[tarquin]

In some states, "holding oneself to be a parent in public," is enough to infer paternity, even if the man is not the genetic father. A lawyer is worth the money. Don't play possum. Any sort of notice, text messages, etc... can be faked by a woman seeking support. Do you know how hard it is to unwind that in a Court room? It should be easy to expose liars, but it isn't. Family Court Judges see 100 cases of he-said, she-said bullshit each day. Every day you wait is another day of potential evidence against you, manufactured or real.

If you are positive that the child is not yours, get an attorney and hit her hard. Radio silence is not a legal strategy.

[Deluge]

I'm calling it now