[Every10GivesMeA10]

Seems like the guys all have their own groups that they have established years ago and the relationship never goes beyond the acquaintance level. However, females usually seem way more open to meeting new people and have no problem bringing them into their circle. Picking up a girl who becomes your fuckbuddy, plus stringing her along for activities is easier for me than to develop a solid guy friendship. You don't even need to have anything in common with girls and the girls usually just go with the flow, the guys I know and meet fall into the following categories: drug users or criminals (best to avoid them altogether) OR they have kids, and/or GF got them by the balls so they got no time to hangout, relationship doesn't develop. Only guys who I'm really cool with are 2 guys in my family and some guys online who I have never met in real life.

Anyone else way better at pulling girls than making guy friends?

[Ice]

(10-28-2014 02:34 PM)Every10GivesMeA10 Wrote:  

Seems like the guys all have their own groups that they have established years ago and the relationship never goes beyond the acquaintance level. However, females usually seem way more open to meeting new people and have no problem bringing them into their circle. Picking up a girl who becomes your fuckbuddy, plus stringing her along for activities is easier for me than to develop a solid guy friendship. You don't even need to have anything in common with girls and the girls usually just go with the flow, the guys I know and meet fall into the following categories: drug users, criminal, got kids or GF/wife got them by the balls so no time to hangout, relationship doesnt develop. Only guys who I'm really cool with are 2 guys in my family and some guys online who I have never met in real life.

Anyone else way better at pulling girls than making guy friends?

Yeah I had some similar experiences. But there are exceptions. What I often find is that if guys bring you into their circle, they often kind of expect that you conform to that specific scene. I'm not interested in doing that, so it rarely turns into a long-time friendship. Women are MUCH more likely to do that. I've seen many times girls change their whole look and wardrobe completely when they enter a new social group. WTF.

Also, what I find is that if you're more successful or have more going on for you in your life than the guy you just met, and he finds out, he will often cut it off. I really hate that loser attitude.

It sounds strange, but in my experience rich guys - or rather guys from rich families - are much more open to meeting new people and inviting them into their scene. That's at least my experience. I don't know why that is tho.

[jimukr104]

Makes sense actually. I had same issue but I take it as a compliment.

If you are Alpha and seen as a threat(competition) other guys by nature will avoid you since you are a threat to their own groups leader(alpha).

You see this a lot in work environments, especially with top leadership.

Take it as recognition that they see you as a threat! lol

Way to avoid it ,is :

a. be more humble and submissive
b. Make friends with guys who don't yet have a group /leader structure.

[jamaicabound]

I think thats probably true for most guys. It's really tough to make guy friends beyond high school and college. Even if you happen to join an established group of friends for a while your the center of attention as your hte new guy with new stories, differnet connections, girls, etc but after a while your just one of the guys. SOmething I notice is if I join an established group your friendly with the group but you're always kind of like the outsider since you didn't grow up with them. When it comes to someones wedding or a group vacation you often get left out or everyone else is in a wedding party and your lucky to get invited.

I complain about it being hard to make friends but honestly on the few occasions guys have tried to strikeup a friendship with me at a bar I wonder is this dude gay. A while back I was sitting at a bar, guy came over and sat next to me started chatting me up, it was a popular place but early before it realy got crowded. FOr a while I was like is this dude hitting on me and was about to leave and then he tells me he's new to the area just moved here, doesn't really have any friends. He did however know a group of girls he was meeting up that night later on. I wound up heading to a few other spots with him and sure enough he had a group of like 15 girls out to celebrate one of their birthdays and wound up having a great night.

[The Beast1]

I won't lie, I always get pegged as gay if I try and start a conversation with another guy. This is the only reason I hate gay guys. I can't legit talk to new guys without being gay.

This used to never be the case either. Guys could have comfortable conversations all the time without fear of being hit on.

I've had success meeting new guys at the gym, but they never end up being closer friends. I haven't had a best "guy" friend since 2012. Girls on the other hand aren't a problem. I swear they're everywhere and totally cool meeting new people.

Ugh I hate America.

[jamaicabound]

(10-28-2014 03:52 PM)frenchie Wrote:  

I won't lie, I always get pegged as gay if I try and start a conversation with another guy. This is the only reason I hate gay guys. I can't legit talk to new guys without being gay.

This used to never be the case either. Guys could have comfortable conversations all the time without fear of being hit on.

I've had success meeting new guys at the gym, but they never end up being closer friends. I haven't had a best "guy" friend since 2012. Girls on the other hand aren't a problem. I swear they're everywhere and totally cool meeting new people.

Ugh I hate America.

Art of Manliness a while backdid an interesting post about this. They showed a bunch of old time pictures of straight guys who were just friends and it seems in the past it wasn't that uncommon for guys to embrace, give each other hugs, etc.

Now don't get me wrong its not that I'm aching to hug my guy friends by any means but I thought the article did a good job of illustrating how the whole gay thing these days gets in the way of straight guy friendships and how guys interact with each other. Another thing along the same lines I catch myself saying things on here sometimes and feel the need to add "nohomo" as I notice others do but why do we even need to add that caveate. I'll post a link to the article below...

http://www.artofmanliness.com/2012/07/29...affection/

I should add some of the pictures in the article are over the top but apparently back then wasn't considered gay apparently.

[Sebastian]

A lot of guys here say how much they prefer girls in foreign country or foreign girls who's not Americanized in states because they are friendlier.

Am I the only one who feels the same way for guys?

When I was traveling in states, I just loved hanging out with foreign people. (maybe they were friendly since they were traveling)
Oh I couldn't stand aussie guys though lol

In my opinion, getting American guys (as a friend obviously) is the same as getting american girls. Have a social proof (job or knowing hot chicks), be friendly but not being too nice. show somewhat interest but act like you don't care making friends. act like something is going on with your life. If I meet some guy, I don't ask his phone number anymore. I just say 'take my number' or 'add me on facebook'

[TigerMandingo]

^ Yup. I have a real hard time connecting with American dudes. They're so goddamn closed off (the guys on this forum would be the exception) and insecure. The gay promotion has made it even more difficult because now any random interaction between 2 guys may be easily construed as some homo shit.

So, foreign chicks and foreign male friends for me.

[Switch]

IMO a lot of American dudes actually are pretty redpill when it comes to feminism and the like. It doesn't mean they are alpha, but they know something is up with all these hos. A silent majority if you will.

As for making guy friends, I have 4 friends that i hang out with on a regular basis. One I met when I was 2 years old, the other two at 5 years, and the last at 8 years old. Honestly outside of a school setting, it is probably really hard to make good guy friends, simply because most dudes are still hanging out with their friends from high school and college, and do not reallyneed other guys around. If you are looking to make good guy friends, this forum is probably the best place to look.

[L M McCoy]

I completely agree

You can't find friends to chill with everyday anymore. Only time I'm hanging with some guys is when I get a text to go to a party but that's what I get for moving lol. However, for some reason girls are always down to chill

In America you can't ask a guy to chill without being accused of wanting to fuck him

I've given up; been trying to join the European social groups and no luck .

Sometimes I think its for the best, most guys end up getting too comfortable and cockblock me and I know its intentionally.

[Parlay44]

Most guys are useless pussies and they roll with other like-minded guys who do nothing but talk about their dead end jobs and relive their glory days. You're better off without them. They'll just pull you down.

I like girls that are down for whatever. They're more fun to hang out with.

[WestIndianArchie]

Guys that know nothing about pick up deal with this.

The sure fire way to gain guy friends is to get a hobby that involves other people.

Deer Hunting
Magic the Gathering
Extreme Accounting

Whatever you pick there are gonna be plenty of guys there to shoot the shit with, crack jokes, and crack brews. The key is to hang out after the activity.

Otherwise it's pointless

WIA

[Brian Shima]

Frenchie something is really off with your demeanor and attitude if guys assume your gay when you strike up a conversation.

[Merenguero]

(10-28-2014 04:07 PM)jamaicabound Wrote:  

(10-28-2014 03:52 PM)frenchie Wrote:  

I won't lie, I always get pegged as gay if I try and start a conversation with another guy. This is the only reason I hate gay guys. I can't legit talk to new guys without being gay.

This used to never be the case either. Guys could have comfortable conversations all the time without fear of being hit on.

I've had success meeting new guys at the gym, but they never end up being closer friends. I haven't had a best "guy" friend since 2012. Girls on the other hand aren't a problem. I swear they're everywhere and totally cool meeting new people.

Ugh I hate America.

Art of Manliness a while backdid an interesting post about this. They showed a bunch of old time pictures of straight guys who were just friends and it seems in the past it wasn't that uncommon for guys to embrace, give each other hugs, etc.

Now don't get me wrong its not that I'm aching to hug my guy friends by any means but I thought the article did a good job of illustrating how the whole gay thing these days gets in the way of straight guy friendships and how guys interact with each other. Another thing along the same lines I catch myself saying things on here sometimes and feel the need to add "nohomo" as I notice others do but why do we even need to add that caveate. I'll post a link to the article below...

http://www.artofmanliness.com/2012/07/29...affection/

I should add some of the pictures in the article are over the top but apparently back then wasn't considered gay apparently.

Was he banned for this? Anyway, this is a good thread and I've taken the position that Parlay expressed in his post for as long as I can remember.

[pitt]

I think after a certain age it becomes difficult to make new male friends. People don't really want to become close with new people, unless they have lots of things in common.

Jamaicabound was a very helpful dude, it hurts to know that he was banned. Anybody has his email/contact? If you do, please pm me.

[MdWanderer]

I usually make friends with guys in my social circle. I made a few while living in Seattle through a Washington Redskins fanclub, and am making some now through my work. I almost never met new guy friends at parties or in bars. Believe it or not I also think friendship with women can be valuable as well. Female friends are gold while gaming; they give you social proof to other females and make you safer in their eyes.

When I'm traveling, I try to stay as far away from American guys as possible. For some reason, I don't get along with them abroad like I do at home. I find the locals and the other tourists much friendlier than the Americans.

[Mentavious]

I'm still make guy friends here in the US.

I've met some through playing in adult sport leagues, church, college, work, fraternity alumni events, and a couple of other stuff.

It's not like I'm best friends with them but going out for a drink or shooting the shot (both literal and not) is all you need. I am not going out and looking for a best friend.

[Dantes]

The friendships I have made with guys in the last few years have been based on similar interests and being in a similar phase in life. If you are cool, you should not have difficulty in this area. I have also met some cool guys on the Forum. Initial shared interest were Game or travel but discovered that we connected on other levels as well.

The bonds that I have with my male friends from childhood and college and are strong to this day, even if we have gone in different paths in life and developed different interests. There is something about these friendships that stand the test of time.

[The Beast1]

(10-29-2014 11:26 PM)Brian Shima Wrote:  

Frenchie something is really off with your demeanor and attitude if guys assume your gay when you strike up a conversation.

And it's attitudes like this that perpetuate the problem for the few guys like myself.

It was worse when I was younger and skinnier. Now that I'm bigger and somewhat older it isn't a problem anymore. I always assumed it was because I was being way too flirty with the girls and the guys were threatened by this interloper.

Then again, I've stopped trying to make friends with guys. Maybe that's why it hasn't been a problem for the past 2 years.

Regardless, even if a guy is coming off as friendly it shouldn't mean that he's gay period. That's some feminist level $hit right there.

[Dr. Howard]

"women bond face to face, while men bond shoulder to shoulder"

I've never made a guy friend at a bar, a party or anything like that its always been while doing something else like running parking at some church event, building something, working with another contractor on a project.

I used to have 'girl friends' but then I got good and game and either a) banged them b) banged another girl and the others got jealous c) they condemned me for my man whoring..ie shamed me for not being a beta orbiter. I'm down to one girl friend remaining.

Ice, above, also made a good observation about rich guys being easy to make friends with and I'll extend that to entrepreneurs as well. I alienated alot of my friends that worked 'jobs' after becoming my own boss. I don't know why, or if it as that 'hating success' thing but now I find that guys who are also business owners, juggling a bunch of business plates or things like 'branch managers' partially because I think by nature of the work they do they are required to be gregarious.

Last but not least, a group of men that is really easy to make friends with but not 'chill' per say is seniors and retired folks. They are often no bullshit, great sense of humor and don't feel threatened by anyone. Hanging out with old guys, mostly on volunteer committees etc was how I learned to 'shoot the shit' wheras before I really could only have casual conversation with girls.

[lycosidae]

I empathize 100%... I'm good at seducing women and keeping them around. But yeah -- it's easy for me to build on an interaction with women, not so much with guys. At a certain point, I don't even want the guys around because they're so beta so I kind of call them out on it. It doesn't go so well, I made one of my friends cry once...

I have one really good friend who I've known for years (whose red pill) and another close friend who I just offloaded because he was too blue pill and he white knighted me at a party, that's when I decided it was enough. I have a lot of foreign friends now, mostly Europeans -- and I seem to get along with them better, but we're not so close even though we're always hanging out.

I think most of my current issues have to do with where I live: Washington, D.C. Unless they're part of the RVF community, the guys here have the wrong values... I like shooting the shit, drinking, talking about girls, music, good food/BBQ (Tony Bourdain!), lifting: ya know, guy stuff plus some... the guys here are mostly uncomfortable with those topics and they're constantly trying to prove how smart they are... It's really annoying. I certainly would be better off if I met more Red Pill dudes.

My solution is to get the hell out of here next year. Just as the girls here suck, the guys suck too - so it's a matter of relocating to a place where the guys share my values. Texas is my focus, my friend already lives there.

I'm sacrificing my girlfriend to move (whose here on a visa, so she can't come with me), but it will be worth it in the long run because the people are better elsewhere. I decided recently that the problem is the environment... find people who share your values and surround yourself with them. Don't try to fit into a group that is obviously opposed to who you are (fucking DC SWPLs).

(10-28-2014 02:34 PM)Every10GivesMeA10 Wrote:  

Seems like the guys all have their own groups that they have established years ago and the relationship never goes beyond the acquaintance level. However, females usually seem way more open to meeting new people and have no problem bringing them into their circle. Picking up a girl who becomes your fuckbuddy, plus stringing her along for activities is easier for me than to develop a solid guy friendship. You don't even need to have anything in common with girls and the girls usually just go with the flow, the guys I know and meet fall into the following categories: drug users or criminals (best to avoid them altogether) OR they have kids, and/or GF got them by the balls so they got no time to hangout, relationship doesn't develop. Only guys who I'm really cool with are 2 guys in my family and some guys online who I have never met in real life.

Anyone else way better at pulling girls than making guy friends?

[Brian Shima]

Frenchie I don't know what feminism has to do with guys thinking your gay? I always shoot the shit with random guys and vice versa. I enjoy talking to people and have never had another man suspect I was hitting on him! It just seems odd to me that guys would think that about you, maybe you have a real soft look I don't know man. It sounds like it's you and not the guys you tried to strike up a conversation with (or used to). A man needs male friends seriously. You can't talk to girl "friends" as you would with a dude.

[The Beast1]

(10-30-2014 11:13 AM)Brian Shima Wrote:  

Frenchie I don't know what feminism has to do with guys thinking your gay? I always shoot the shit with random guys and vice versa. I enjoy talking to people and have never had another man suspect I was hitting on him! It just seems odd to me that guys would think that about you, maybe you have a real soft look I don't know man. It sounds like it's you and not the guys you tried to strike up a conversation with (or used to). A man needs male friends seriously. You can't talk to girl "friends" as you would with a dude.

You're right, it's more of a rant. I had a lot of good guy friends in school, but living in a large city has changed that. It's more of the normalization of homosexual behavior that has been perpetuated by groups of feminists, democrats, etc. that has made it frustrating for me.

Fun side note though, I didn't have this problem in Europe when I traveled as a teen. The mix of coming off enthusiasm about meeting new people with a non threatening demeanor was my downfall.

[Dantes]

(10-30-2014 11:41 AM)frenchie Wrote:  

(10-30-2014 11:13 AM)Brian Shima Wrote:  

Frenchie I don't know what feminism has to do with guys thinking your gay? I always shoot the shit with random guys and vice versa. I enjoy talking to people and have never had another man suspect I was hitting on him! It just seems odd to me that guys would think that about you, maybe you have a real soft look I don't know man. It sounds like it's you and not the guys you tried to strike up a conversation with (or used to). A man needs male friends seriously. You can't talk to girl "friends" as you would with a dude.

You're right, it's more of a rant. I had a lot of good guy friends in school, but living in a large city has changed that. It's more of the normalization of homosexual behavior that has been perpetuated by groups of feminists, democrats, etc. that has made it frustrating for me.

Fun side note though, I didn't have this problem in Europe when I traveled as a teen. The mix of coming off enthusiasm about meeting new people with a non threatening demeanor was my downfall.

Are there any Forum guys in the city you are living in? Organize a meet- up or reach out to some of them.

[MikeS]

I know the general opinion in the manosphere is that men make for vastly better conversational partners (and conversation is often a major part of the entertainment for me when I hang out with people), and sure enough in optimal situations - many shared interests, opinions (or opposed opinions that sparks interesting debate), intelligence and education level etc. - I agree that's the case.

It's been 12+ years since I had or made any male friends that came close to that optimal situation though, otherwise most guys I get along with fairly well end up as temporary acquaintances, and the few closer, longer term friends I make I usually feel seeing for a few hours a week is enough. The conversation is usually relatively flat - what have you been up to? Did you fuck that girl you went out with? Any new movies at the cinema we need to see? Did you go to the gym yesterday? Etc.
30-60 minutes and the pauses tend to get longer, so the best ways to spend time with my male friends are usually watching a movie, going to a club or on a (quiet) hike.

Contrary to that I usually have no trouble having a fun 2-4+ hour conversation with a girl who's reasonably intelligent and with a sense of humor (a decent portion of the girls I've been out with the last two years). The conversations are often mostly just as superficial - and I'd usually be hard pressed to remember a more than a fraction of the content afterwards - but at least there's the playfulness and flirting and the overall masculine/feminine polarity to keep things going.