[bojangles]

I think it's probably to do with whether you're an introvert or an extrovert. I have no problems making friends nor getting girls, I consider myself an extrovert.

[The Beast1]

(10-30-2014 12:23 PM)Dantes Wrote:  

(10-30-2014 11:41 AM)frenchie Wrote:  

(10-30-2014 11:13 AM)Brian Shima Wrote:  

Frenchie I don't know what feminism has to do with guys thinking your gay? I always shoot the shit with random guys and vice versa. I enjoy talking to people and have never had another man suspect I was hitting on him! It just seems odd to me that guys would think that about you, maybe you have a real soft look I don't know man. It sounds like it's you and not the guys you tried to strike up a conversation with (or used to). A man needs male friends seriously. You can't talk to girl "friends" as you would with a dude.

You're right, it's more of a rant. I had a lot of good guy friends in school, but living in a large city has changed that. It's more of the normalization of homosexual behavior that has been perpetuated by groups of feminists, democrats, etc. that has made it frustrating for me.

Fun side note though, I didn't have this problem in Europe when I traveled as a teen. The mix of coming off enthusiasm about meeting new people with a non threatening demeanor was my downfall.

Are there any Forum guys in the city you are living in? Organize a meet- up or reach out to some of them.

Yup there are. I met up with one recently so hoping to change this for the future.

[blacknwhitespade]

(10-29-2014 08:02 PM)Parlay44 Wrote:  

Most guys are useless pussies and they roll with other like-minded guys who do nothing but talk about their dead end jobs and relive their glory days. You're better off without them. They'll just pull you down.

Yup. I've found myself distancing/giving up on a few of my good old guy friends for these reasons. They are lazy, unreliable, uninterested in my hobbies, and bluepill as hell. ALL success I've had in life with women has come without the help of friends. I've literally learned/done it all on my own. Sounds scary, but it's true.

I've recently moved to a new city and am in the process of making new friends, but I'm being a bit more selective now and I find myself comfortable if not almost preferring to work alone when it comes to chasing girls. Guy friends are great for other things, but when it comes to girls, for the most part they just get in my way.

[darklightdispatch]

Yeah, I'm definitely in the same situation as a lot of guys here. I haven't had a close male friend (hardly even a casual male friend) since college. Essentially all my social interactions are with women

[berserk]

I get your predicaments, but here is the thing, we here often like to call out exactly how shallow girls relationships with each other are and how male friendships are superior - which they are. Then we can't really complain when you don't make lifelong friends every day. As always, WIA and Dr. Howard nails it, real friendships are created from shared purpose and overcoming struggle. Most people's friends are from high school and college where chasing girls, getting drunk and getting into fights was all the purpose you needed. That's what you can still talk about 10 or 20 years later, that girl, that fight, people doing crazy stuff.

This is obviously not so once you get older. To be honest, I don't find it difficult to find drinking buddies, at least no abroad, where every dude is usually there for the same reason. Just sign up for some Meetup group or go to some other social gathering and be cool and you'll get invited to parties and other stuff. What is more difficult is realizing you need to work on friendships once you no longer just happen to be at the same place. I'm bad at this admitted, but you need to be the connector and creator of social events. Invite people more than you probably are used to. This is why, if I go to a new city or country, I try to get involved in several different social venues, sports, business etc, not just for the immediate access to women in these groups, but so you have several loose groups which you can invite people along to. I am beginning to realize that making new friendships past a certain age requires effort and a general social lifestyle. I think it's worth it though, so you don't end up as my father who lost his entire social life once his knees gave out and he couldn't play sports anymore.