[robreke]

I think if a woman ( especially one you're trying to bang or have banged in the past and are retrying to bang) has lied to you...but thinks she pulled it over your eyes and you suspect nothing, has lost or has lower respect for you.

The dilemma....do you let her know that you know she lied to you in subsequent conversation? Perhaps even in a light hearted way?

I was talking to one of my former FBs over lunch recently and we were talking about a certain weekend where I knew she lied to me because she wanted to do something else besides spend time with me. She started to talk about that weekend....then kind of hesitated and changed the subject....because she was thinking about how she fed me BS that weekend. For all she knows, I do not know she was lying to me. I kind of want to say "yeah, I know you went to the game with your friends and not to that funeral you were talking about....haha. I saw you at the game."

Anyone have experience here? My thoughts are not to do it in a butthurt manner, but subtly let her know that you know she lied to you about a, b and c. Maybe even mention, " Hey, I forgive you...I know you were just trying to spare my feelings....don't worry about me I've got a pretty thick skin."

Alpha males are too smart and clever to go around like blind sheep and they call people on bullshit in my thinking.

Or is it best just to continue to let her think you're an easy dupe? I just don't see how this could be good, especially if you're trying to build or rebuild attraction and bang her.

[Latan]

It seems you don't want to bang her anymore ("former").
What's the point caring about what she thinks about you?

[Parlay44]

All women lie. That's how they survive. If they had to get by on their merits they would starve to death.
Just accept it and learn how to deal with it. If it bothers you that much just stay single. You're better off anyway.

Once I find out a woman is manipulating me for her own gain, cheating on me ...etc, I just go radio silence on them.
Women need closure. Denying them closure is the cruelest thing you can do. It makes their hamster wheel spin forever.

[robreke]

(10-28-2014 10:14 AM)Parlay44 Wrote:  

All women lie. That's how they survive. If they had to get by on their merits they would starve to death.
Just accept it and learn how to deal with it. If it bothers you that much just stay single. You're better off anyway.

Once I find out a woman is manipulating me for her own gain, cheating on me ...etc, I just go radio silence on them.
Women need closure. Denying them closure is the cruelest thing you can do. It makes their hamster wheel spin forever.

I hear you. They do all lie. However, I don't really care about closure for this particular girl. I want to bang her again. Maybe even a so called hate fuck.

I'm just wondering if I should let her know I know she lied....or let her continue to think she duped me and continue onward in blissful ignorance when I see her again.

[Parlay44]

(10-28-2014 10:31 AM)robreke Wrote:  

(10-28-2014 10:14 AM)Parlay44 Wrote:  

All women lie. That's how they survive. If they had to get by on their merits they would starve to death.
Just accept it and learn how to deal with it. If it bothers you that much just stay single. You're better off anyway.

Once I find out a woman is manipulating me for her own gain, cheating on me ...etc, I just go radio silence on them.
Women need closure. Denying them closure is the cruelest thing you can do. It makes their hamster wheel spin forever.

I hear you. They do all lie. However, I don't really care about closure for this particular girl. I want to bang her again. Maybe even a so called hate fuck.

I'm just wondering if I should let her know I know she lied....or let her continue to think she duped me and continue onward in blissful ignorance when I see her again.

Relationships are like poker. Once you spot her "tell" you keep quiet and milk her for all she's worth. Usually that means playing along to get as much sex as possible. Some guys will even exploit her financially. Whatever floats your boat.

[MikeS]

The one thing I can't quite get past about playing along with a woman's obvious lies, is that it's hard to shake the feeling that I look like a moron/chode to her for seemingly not spotting those lies.

But I guess it's a matter of adjusting my behaviour accordingly to "punish" their bad behaviour (just like I dial back on my communication if a girl does the same), without making it too blatant that that's what I'm doing.

[WestIndianArchie]

She'd rather go to the game than spend time with you.

If she's young and pretty, she has plenty of offers to do things and have fun.
And when it came time to choose between you and the game, The game was more fun.

The fact that she lied to you about it being a funeral, means that she
- didn't want to hurt your feelings, and is slowly withdrawing (negative)
- wanted to keep you "in play" (positive)

Now you're obsessed with getting even, with letting her know she can't treat you like she just did.

But she can. And she just proved it. She'll hurt you and disrespect you, yet you still want her. This is part of female privilege. This will happen in a long term relationship. She will put her needs and desires first from time to time, and assume that you'll just wait for her.

You can't really win here, because she has the power.
If you let her know that you know that she lies, it's not like she's going to be TRULY apologetic. Oh she'll "apologize", but the same behavior will happen again. (but let the motorcycle boot be on the other foot.....lol)

THIS IS WHO THEY ARE.

Call me jaded, but a man can not rely on nor expect honesty or honor from a woman.

So what do you do? What do you do if you still want to fuck her?

1) pull away (if not outright end contact with her)
2) spin other plates

If you do mention the lying, be real with it, and not passive aggressive.

"Yeah that weekend that I wanted you to hang with me, you said you had a funeral. But I saw you at the game. You lied to me. I got the message."

And just leave it at that. You'll be tempted to go farther, and really tell the chick about who she is, and how dishonest she is...but the reality is that you're feigning a pseudo-relationship with her, just to fuck her. And if you wanted something real with her, she's already shown you that she doesn't respect you.

The whole situation is an ugly truth.

The thing about the Game, the "red pill" is that you live in a world of ambiguity and uncertainty. But it's the real world. Honesty, honor, forthrightness...all that is the "Matrix". And plenty of guys cling to those things, knowing full well that people around them are using their belief system against them.

WIA

[MrXY]

You're taking the situation and the girl too seriously. This is the sort of social white lie everyone tells at times. I tell girls I'm working or tired and not going out when I'm actually on a date or out cold approaching. It's not a hurtful lie that calls for confrontation.

Besides, calling a girl out on a lie like this never goes well. She will be embarrassed, resentful and think you are socially unskilled.

Only confront a girl on her lies when you are ready to go nuclear and probably end the relationship.

[robreke]

(10-28-2014 03:36 PM)MrXY Wrote:  

You're taking the situation and the girl too seriously. This is the sort of social white lie everyone tells at times. I tell girls I'm working or tired and not going out when I'm actually on a date or out cold approaching. It's not a hurtful lie that calls for confrontation.

Besides, calling a girl out on a lie like this never goes well. She will be embarrassed, resentful and think you are socially unskilled.

Only confront a girl on her lies when you are ready to go nuclear and probably end the relationship.

Well, there were other bigger lies I didn't mention. Like toward the end of our seeing each other....she was driving home fucking some local dude , then coming back up here and fucking me during the week. I was wondering at the time why I had to push harder for sex toward the end and she didn't seem into it at first....until I fucked her really hard and she eventually got into it.

She told me..." I've been on a few dates, but you're the only one I was physical with" Figured out a few weeks later that wasn't so.

[Parlay44]

Yeah once they start banging/crushing on someone new they start to feel guilty or ho-like when you try to bang. Instant red flag. Learn to see the signs.

[Dr. Howard]

^ based on your last comment, drop her, move on.

However I also want to support WIA's useful advice

Quote:

Yeah that weekend that I wanted you to hang with me, you said you had a funeral. But I saw you at the game. You lied to me. I got the message.

the key is after you say something like the above. STOP TALKING. Take another sip or your drink or bite of your burger, let the silence linger and then change the subject like, especially to a thread similar to what the lie was. "So, I think I'm going to go up north and visit my buddy this weekend, his aunt died last month and is bummed, he could use some cheering up"

Do not argue about the lying incident, just get the point across that you know and move on. Her hamster won't let her apologize so don't go looking for one.

[Dr. Howard]

(10-28-2014 05:34 PM)Parlay44 Wrote:  

Yeah once they start banging/crushing on someone new they start to feel guilty or ho-like when you try to bang. Instant red flag. Learn to see the signs.

+1 million. I missed this sign many times.

[RUIN]

I'm all for exploiting it - one of my good friends got married however years before he had a vasectomy. Long story short when she fell pregnant he got himself checked out and was still shooting blanks, let her carry on the charade and continue to bang her constantly AND other women. when it finally came time for the baby shower he dropped the bombshell he had gotten the snip way before he met her.........and the result was just soooooo much WIN.

[Parlay44]

(10-28-2014 06:12 PM)RUIN Wrote:  

I'm all for exploiting it - one of my good friends got married however years before he had a vasectomy. Long story short when she fell pregnant he got himself checked out and was still shooting blanks, let her carry on the charade and continue to bang her constantly AND other women. when it finally came time for the baby shower he dropped the bombshell he had gotten the snip way before he met her.........and the result was just soooooo much WIN.

You have to be careful. You can still get stuck paying for a kid that isn't yours. It's your wife and it happened on your watch. The court doesn't give a fuck. Lawyer up fellas.

[RUIN]

Here in Australia there is a modicum of hope - Child Support initially cannot enforce collections if you dispute parentage. from there either voluntary paternity test (performed in a manner according to commonwealth law) or court-ordered and then after the results either enforcement or discharge.

The kicker however is that if you have already paid monies and funds they cannot (read; will not) attempt to return any monies paid to the mother in the event the child is not yours.


How do I know?? well that is how the crap with the mother of my second child started. before that it was holes in the rubber.

[Duke Castile]

You will always encounter this.

You have to weigh whats more important, fucking her versus her respecting you.

If you play along, you may not fuck her because attraction is also tied to respect. She may no longer respect you and therefore lose attraction.

If you call her out by saying "I don't put up with this" then she will respect you, but you callinger out will shame her and piss her off and you may not fuck her (although I've had girls come back after varying periods of time)

Personally I have tried to play along and I just can't go through with being looked upon as some dumbass by a person I have zero respect for anyway.

It's just not worth it to me.

I'd rather go get another girl.

The only times I've regretted it was if I didn't get that first bang in but even then I can't even remember the girls face or who she was. Just the memory of wishing I'd pushed through.

[Rawmeo]

Try to tell her in a subtle way, talk about the game, which team won, and said "yeah that game was fun, and you probably had good seats too so you must have had fun" and continue with the current topic. She will probably make a strange face, but knows she got owned.