[trickdaddy]

Hi guys,

Recently I have experienced performance anxiety when I'm about to bang a girl. Thus, I have not been able to get hard at necessary times. This has happened two different times with different girls. One was in the summer when I brought a female friend to my house. We began foreplay, however when it came time to bang, I was not able to get a boner. I had to blamed it on "I guess I can only see as a friend" and she was like same. The second time happened a few weeks ago when I went to a party and ran game on a girl I know from my school. I pulled her into a secluded area and we began foreplay, but again no luck. I made her believe it was not my fault and she wasn't doing it for me. I got her to give me for a bj and was hard after. We banged for a while and both enjoyed it.

Both of these girls are big time sloots and I knew it before banging. I feel like when I know a girl has banged many men before, I have to live up to the pressure of doing well and psych myself out. Thus, not being able to get a boner. Has anyone been in this situation before? Any help? I dont have issues getting hard for non-sloots.

[RDF]

I've experienced this before, and for similar reasons, its also happened to me with girls who I know are slutty. I'm sure there's quite a few threads about this since you're definitely not the only person who this happens to, but here's some advice that helped.

1) Don't think about trying to be a porn star in bed. This sounds really basic but its also true. Girls do not need to be fucked for an hour straight in order to enjoy sex; in fact, several girls I've been with have told me that 15 minutes is more than enough. This is especially true for an ONS where you don't know the girl and have basically no idea what her specific turn ons are. Also, if a girl is slutty, she's had a shit ton of bad sexual experiences as well, so don't think that she's only been railed on by Abercrombie models with 12 inch dicks that go for 3 hours. It just isn't true.

2) Enjoy the heat of the moment/be spontaneous. Instead of thinking about whether your dick is hard, think about how soft her tits are and how much you want to bury your face in them, and then do it. Act on instinct. Much has been written about how girls love a guy who can be dominant and fun in bed. If you're genuinely having a good time, you won't have performance anxiety because you're too busy enjoying it.

If that fails, just take a deep breath, laugh and say "this shit happens sometimes to me", and go back to some basic foreplay. Sometimes, when you least expect sex to happen, it does.

[bradz]

Yeah it happens on occasion. Especially if you've had a little too much to drink. Mostly noticed this as I crept past 40..
Anyway if it's not getting fully hard you can back off - have fun - use your cock and play with her pussy. Laugh a little talk, joke. Have fun. Go back to kissing. Get up a get a drink of water. Sometimes you need a distraction then come back to it.
I also go back to oral for a while.

[mindanao]

This was a major problem for me. I did not understand why I would be hard almost any time thinking about the girls. And also when I am with her in bed. but as soon as she said fuck me, my hard went away. I was so annoyed at myself cuz I lost a notch just because I went soft right when she wanted me to do her.

But because I am very good with learning skills, I went to google and found out what this whole thing was all about and just learning about the whole process of performance anxiety, I completely stopped having it by knowing things like, "this is a time to think all super positive" And don't focus on anything bad. I have been capable of modifying my mentality from the way it was when these failures happened and now it does not happen anymore. So I guess once you learn what thoughts and things cause it to happen and understand the science behind the whole thing, you succeed in preventing it.