Posts: 292
Threads: 0
Joined: May 2014
Lover vs Provider and relationships
10-25-2014, 12:06 AM
The relationship a player should aim to have is far from the classic boyfriend-girlfriend arrangement. That is beta territory, for that role the girl is thinking with her logical mind: How much money does he make, will he make a good dad, will my family like him, is he the right height/race/colour of eyes I want in a boyfriend, what will my friends think of him... You get the worst of the girl. We call it "provider" for a reason, he is the man who gives her shit in exchange for nothing: time, money, attention... She feels entitled to all of it because, quite frankly, she views the provider as being lower value than herself. The classic beta boyfriend. The provider is the man that she is using, not the one that she loves. He gets the vanilla sex and the fake love, while another guy gets the crazy sex and her true love and attention.
No woman ever fell in love with a beta provider. Alpha widows all pine over commitment-phobic men they had a passionate but short affair with, ending in her getting rejected by him. This doesn't mean you can't have relationships with women, but they are lover, not provider, relationships. You keep seeing the girl, you connect with her, you have a good time with her, everything you want to do, but you avoid the boyfriend tag at all costs. It doesn't just have to be about sex, a human relationship is possible without the need to call it boyfriend-girlfriend. It doesn't matter if you want a girlfriend or not, I learned long ago this is the best thing game-wise, whatever your goals are.
Being a lover you let her know you don't want a relationship with her, you are honest about being a player and you escalate as quickly as possible. Once you fuck her, you can think about continuity, fucking her is the most important thing. The more time you spend dating her without fucking the more risk you have of never getting her. If you focus on a relationship before sex, you transmit a needy vibe, you signal to the girl that you are low-value because you have already decided on the first date you want a relationship with her. Even if you don't say it, she picks up on that and is scared away. If you want a woman in soul and emotion, you don't want to be her boyfriend, you may want to spend time with her, but know that the boyfriend tag will alter the relationship to a point where it is no longer of benefit to you. Avoid it at all costs.
I will make a distinction. In the West, if we are talking about R-girls under 28 then it is complicated. Most will fuck you fast and then flake, they are in full-carousel mode. Regardless, if you play the provider game you won't even get to fuck them. There is a way of guaranteeing continuity, which is making her fall in love with you, but that is not statistically reliable and takes some incredibly tight game. With girls over 28 you can play the dating game if you want, but I don't see the point. You would have be pretty desperate to want to spend any significant time with an old Western woman. My guess is you would still get a better version of her in lover mode. You attack her ego by not wanting a relationship, she pursues and you get some effort instead of an old entitled bitter woman.
I emphasize that a player is not the male equivalent of a slut. A player is the ultimate alpha male, he is the absolute prize. Getting a player to fall in love is the object of many romance novels, he has the key element of unobtainability. When women complain about commitment-phobic men, remember that those are the men they want. Commitment-phobia is an attractive trait, it should be a key part of your game. She shouldn't be looking at your credentials to be or not a good boyfriend, she should be wondering if maybe, just maybe, she will get to spend time with this incredible man one more time.
Where this stuff works incredibly is in the FSU. I began doing it in Moldova last year and my results skyrocketed. When you play full lover-mode with an FSU girl, it blows her mind because it is so emotionally powerful. First, you are telling a hot FSU girl, where practically all men are providers (contrary game) that you don't want a relationship with her. Huge blow to her ego, they will often accept the challenge to pursue you. They still want you as a boyfriend, then you do things like talk about a past love, how men only fall in love once (which after telling her you don't want a relationship is a nuclear neg). You inject Western ideas of excitement and adventure, and you escalate like crazy. Heavy heavy resistance, but she never walks away. She loves it. She's never had this excitement before. Such is the effect of it that I would call lover-mode in the FSU a deep-conversion move, girls almost never flake afterwards. Even if you don't get sex, the farther you go, the more intense the experience for the girl and, hence, the more connected she feels to you. You often end up getting girls you would have otherwise lost, and you get them with a far greater emotional intensity. This is counterintuitive because in the West we think of buyer's remorse, but what this really is is an effect of the carousel. Girls flake, if we pull fast and fail, due to ASD from slut self-shame, not buyer's remorse. In Russia you can get a little bit of that, but overall you will lose less girls than otherwise. The girls have no reason to have ASD because they simply haven't fucked enough men to think of themselves as sluts.
You get to spend a great time with a fantastic girl, something that provider-mode probably wouldn't have allowed for. You get the best version of her, you get her quickly and with the strongest possible connection.
Unfortunately it doesn't have the same effect in the West. In the FSU you are getting a good girl to act completely against her social programming. In the West you are just getting a slut to add another dick to her list.
