[cobrantula]

I Yadstopped a 6.5 with some well droopy swingers today. I got her number. I decided to text her and here was our exchange.

Me 4:14pm: So this is the crazy zoomba teacher. You scare me
Her 4:19pm: Well it's Zumba haha. But why do I scare you?
Me 4:27pm: My mom warned me about dance instructors
Her 4:41pm: Yeah we're nuts
Her 4:41pm: Run

Me 5:40pm: So nuts. I wonder are you a professional coffee drinker like me
Her 5:41pm: I despise coffee
Me 5:41pm: It despises you right back

As I wrote that last text I thought it was a good "push" text. But since she didn't write back I started wondering. Was I falling into her frame? Was it beta?


Does anybody have stories from when they first started gaming where they thought they were being alpha, but on closer inspection were being beta?

[edtf]

she doesn't like coffee, so ask if she wants to get a drink. she says yes, go for it. If she says no, then move on.

[RUIN]

hmm wouldn't have opened with "you scare me" and you were giving her an option with the coffee. usually I would run my dialogue something like this (assuming its a brief meet then onto texting) bear in mind "her" responses are based on similar interactions ive had so like anything YMMV:

Me: Afternoon BIZI
Her: BIZI?
Me: Batshit Insane Zumba Instructor
Her: haha well we are known to be a little crazy
Me: Well I don't know your name yet so BIZI will suffice
Her: either way works for me
Me: so when you say a little crazy, paint me a word picture
Her: well im pretty sure id make you run for the hills
Me: better women than you have tried and failed, but drinks tonight lets see how you go
Her: oh I don't drink
Me: good thing they do non-alcoholic drinks too, but still drinks tonight
Her: ok where and when?

at no stage there did I give her the option to reschedule based on the meeting place or some other trivial matter (like coffee if she doesn't drink coffee) bottom line is the time was still set. if you let her dictate the direction she will lose interest. but again personal experience and it works for me.

[RURALGAMER]

I agree with RUIN.

Honestly I think running an invite like this almost works too well....What I mean by that is that girls who may have a low interest will say yes because it short circuits there brain so they can't say no. But then it's too uphill of a battle when starting with a lower interest girl..

[RUIN]

Bare** stupid mistake

Ok good point because if you're working on a brief meet and you got her number you have to capitalize quickly else you become just another number without a name. Moving to a physical meet will keep her interest in you at a level you can work with rather than ice-skating uphill.

And if it gets too hard like she flakes or tries rescheduling don't give her the time of day. Remember you don't want HER leading the interaction. YOU lead - she follows.

[RUIN]

And I have a cracker from when I first started working as a bartender - I was naive big time and incredibly set on the mindset that girls just want a good guy.

First pretty girl that approached me tried getting a free drink, stroking the ego showing a little cleavage shit like that. Thankfully it was my first night, I said no and asked for her number and in the blink of an eye the façade of sweet seductress melted into a typical entitled twat I now find so appalling. Two great things happened that night - I kept my job and I started chipping away a these rose colored glasses. And it's been the best thing that ever happened.

[cobrantula]

(10-10-2014 02:05 AM)RUIN Wrote:  

Me: Afternoon BIZI

Tried your line today, it's fucking great, but I think it was too late to save me with that girl. I got no response.

I was using the "you scare me" line because of Krausuer's book, but I'm starting to think that his lines might work better across the pond. That or I'm just not yet creating enough attraction/comfort/rapport or whatever on the initial open.

Anyway, thanks for the advice, greatly appreciated.

[cobrantula]

(10-10-2014 12:50 AM)edtf Wrote:  

she doesn't like coffee, so ask if she wants to get a drink. she says yes, go for it. If she says no, then move on.

I tried to reinitiate today and got nothing. Moving on.

[cobrantula]

(10-10-2014 05:50 AM)RURALGAMER Wrote:  

I agree with RUIN.

Honestly I think running an invite like this almost works too well....What I mean by that is that girls who may have a low interest will say yes because it short circuits there brain so they can't say no. But then it's too uphill of a battle when starting with a lower interest girl..

With another girl today I tried a variation of that. No response yet, but still holding out hope.

[Ensam]

Her telling you she didn't like coffee was her rejecting your softsell of an idea for a date - it says nothing about her actual feelings about coffee. Your problem is incongruency. The first text salvo is ok and she's into it or at least entertaining your advances. Then you soft push the idea of coffee on her. That's incongruent with your initial frame which was more aggressive and likely what turned her off.

Better would have been:
Her: Run
You: I like to live dangerously.
Her: <whatever response>
You/Her: <keep it playful for a few more texts>
You: Want to make trouble tonight? I'll be at <place you have on lock> around 9.

[RUIN]

Yep the change in frame from playfully aggresive to trying to accommodate her I think had an effect on the interest level in a negative way. Couple of things to consider;

- if you get her number straight away from small talk always assume she has medium interest

- if you're escalation to the date is through texting move it to a date/drinks sooner rather than sending hundreds of texts as you can't convey body language through text only frame.

As always that's my take as I've tried both (long texts if I was away for work) and in my case if the interest was 50/50 it didn't go much further. YMMV

[cobrantula]

(10-10-2014 05:49 PM)Ensam Wrote:  

That's incongruent with your initial frame which was more aggressive and likely what turned her off.

Shit. I've been doing that a bunch lately. I was trying to follow Krauser's method. I'm gonna change it up, thanks for the advice.