Something is wrong with me. I cannot cold direct approach at night. I went out solo tonight, took 1.5g phenibut + a few drinks. Still MAD approach anxiety. Indirect approached a hipster girl, got opened by a girl but couldn't make proper conversation, and a cougar bought me a drink and was very touchy with me. But I couldn't respond properly or something. Anyone in a similar situation?
Crippling Approach Anxiety
Hit the gym. hard. you don't need the drugs
You're just new.
It wears off, you just have to keep going out.
WIA
It wears off, you just have to keep going out.
WIA
Focus on the learnings that approching offers. The outcome if the approach doesn't matter and isn't a reflection on you as a person. Make a game of it and enjoy!
Make sure to have a player notebook. Analize stuff you did. I have discovered just now how important this part is when you want to improve.
I 2nd writing everything down in a journal, write down your beliefs, your ideas of yourself, how you feel about situations, what you could do differently next time.
Most guys can't do cold approach at night, unless they are pretty well drunk.
Write down what is in your head, when you think about approaching a certain girl. Even take a notebook with you and write it down. To be honest, this is endless, and it is deep inner game. These resistances don't just go away overnight, but its also a matter of pushing through them. But if you can write down and see how illogical they are, and remove them one by one, it will get easier.
I would also lay off the phenibut.
A lot of its momentum too, you need to do the first approach, the 2nd is a lot easier, the 3rd is piss easy and then you're over the hill and you start to enjoy the process. Getting the first one out of the way is the challenge. If you go with a wing, its MUCH easier.
Most guys can't do cold approach at night, unless they are pretty well drunk.
Write down what is in your head, when you think about approaching a certain girl. Even take a notebook with you and write it down. To be honest, this is endless, and it is deep inner game. These resistances don't just go away overnight, but its also a matter of pushing through them. But if you can write down and see how illogical they are, and remove them one by one, it will get easier.
I would also lay off the phenibut.
A lot of its momentum too, you need to do the first approach, the 2nd is a lot easier, the 3rd is piss easy and then you're over the hill and you start to enjoy the process. Getting the first one out of the way is the challenge. If you go with a wing, its MUCH easier.
Your language itself is limiting your beliefs.
"I cannot" " I couldn't".
Have you tried affirmations and talking to yourself? Seriously…it works.
"I cannot" " I couldn't".
Have you tried affirmations and talking to yourself? Seriously…it works.
I wrote my first journal entry today. By putting my thoughts down on paper, I realize that my approach anxiety is due to fear of rejection, and that my pride is only hinging on the IOI's that I get during the day which I don't get at night. I think I will stop focusing on closing, but for now focus on only opening. I'm super tired but will go out, and I feel it will be worth it not for closing, but for my own development. Thank you guys.
I overcame approach anxiety through hundreds of approaches until it wasn't a big deal.
When the anxiety resurfaces, I remind myself that life is short and I will be dead sooner than I think. Approaching a cute girl is no big deal in the context of larger life issues.
In the beginning stages, follow the 3 second rule. This is behavioral conditioning.
For direct approaches, you need to feel physically secure. This is achieved through weight training and maximizing fashion.
Find another forum guys to hang out with while you make approaches. This normalizes the experience and makes it much more enjoyable.
Laugh about your blowouts.
Don't take any one approach too seriously.
When the anxiety resurfaces, I remind myself that life is short and I will be dead sooner than I think. Approaching a cute girl is no big deal in the context of larger life issues.
In the beginning stages, follow the 3 second rule. This is behavioral conditioning.
For direct approaches, you need to feel physically secure. This is achieved through weight training and maximizing fashion.
Find another forum guys to hang out with while you make approaches. This normalizes the experience and makes it much more enjoyable.
Laugh about your blowouts.
Don't take any one approach too seriously.
Quote: (10-05-2014 08:31 AM)Dantes Wrote:Do whatever you have to do before going out (and during) to get into and maintain a "I don't give a fuck" mentality. Once that's established, you can (and will) approach because you choose to and whether she's keen or not, you just don't give a fuck.
I overcame approach anxiety through hundreds of approaches until it wasn't a big deal.
When the anxiety resurfaces, I remind myself that life is short and I will be dead sooner than I think. Approaching a cute girl is no big deal in the context of larger life issues.
In the beginning stages, follow the 3 second rule. This is behavioral conditioning.
For direct approaches, you need to feel physically secure. This is achieved through weight training and maximizing fashion.
Find another forum guys to hang out with while you make approaches. This normalizes the experience and makes it much more enjoyable.
Laugh about your blowouts.
Don't take any one approach too seriously.
Easier said than done, but very effective if you get it right
Get yourself a canned opener or a routine stack. When you see a girl approach her... no matter what! Even if you feel like your heart is about to explode and you barely can't talk- just do it! Don't care if the girl respond well or bad. Do this for a few weeks and you will feel like a new man. It's a FOOLPROOF way. It's like a shock threathment, it's very hard but it works. The rewards are great and you will be very proud of yourself.
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