[norebly]

Hi Everyone,

I think I've reached a time to take action on a part of my life that I am extremely unsatisfied with. Essentially I outlined some of the reasons in past threads that I started. The gist is that I don't enjoy many things right now and I can't seem to escape from my own head. When I am along for more than a little bit every bad part of my life gets analyzed and I start hating myself.

I can't seem to find the motivation to do the three things that I want to do the most right now (find a girl, go back to school for an MBA, and start a business, in that order..) so I figure I should at least minimize the self hatred that seems to spawn whenever I am alone.

What are some things that I can do after work and over the weekends so that I do not have time to dread?

So far my schedule looks like this:

Monday: 9-5 work, 5-6 workout, sulk until fall asleep
Tuesday: 9-5 work , 5-6 boxing (I wanted to add this one in starting this week), sulk until fall asleep
Wednesday: 9-5 work, 5-6 bike ride/workout, sulk until fall asleep
...
...
Weekends: Think about doing something, then procrastinate and not do anything since I don't have company.


I don't want to get into complaining so what are some ways that you guys have kept yourself busy? I am thinking of doing a part time job right now (at least to begin with) since I can't seem to enjoy any hobbies right now.

I'm thinking it could be interesting to be a bartender/bouncer/valet after work and over the weekends. It also might be cool to volunteer to kill some of that time but that seems more sporadic to me.

Any suggestions? Thanks in advance All.

[norebly]

I have done some research on these jobs and it seems like they are all not paid too well except for bartender, but they most likely start a dude as the dish boy at first. I can learn anything but I'd rather not start that low since it would seem strange to work that is so low paying compared to my existing job.

[Engineer]

(09-14-2014 09:22 PM)norebly Wrote:  

I have done some research on these jobs and it seems like they are all not paid too well except for bartender, but they most likely start a dude as the dish boy at first. I can learn anything but I'd rather not start that low since it would seem strange to work that is so low paying compared to my existing job.

You have a full time job that's paying the bills, right? Who cares how much you're making at the second job. No shame in starting as a dish boy at a cool place where you can advance, and then you'll have some experience when you apply for a better job at a cooler place you can say "I'm willing to pay my dues, you should hire me as a bar-back because blah blah blah"

You are wasting time that can never be recovered. You've gotten a ton of great advice in your past threads. Have you followed thru on any of that? Stop dwelling on your past and execute your plan for the future.

[Drazen]

You're not working towards your goals at all.

Want a girl? Go out in the world and find her.
Go get that MBA? Fill out the application and make yourself and appealing candidate.
Start a business? Write a business plan and execute it.

Getting a second job is just another form of procrastination and a way for you to blame an external factor for your lack of results. Why not look into Uber/Lyft if its available in your area. You'll make money, drive around, talk to people and can work whenever you want to.

[Billy Chubbs]

Drazen hits it on the head.

If you want something, do something to get it. Don't just twiddle your thumbs and think about change. Make it happen.

[Peregrine]

What they said, or study/learn something to advance in your day job. If there's no upward mobility in your day job, start working on an eventual exit.

If you can't find something to do from 6 pm to falling asleep, I'll take your time. I don't have enough.

[Spectrumwalker]

Get out of your city. Go live in a foreign country for a few months. Go explore. If you're not enjoying many things right now, being alone in a foreign country makes you feel like a kid all over again in some ways. Your alone in a strange new land and curious about the world around you. Your curiosity forces you out of your comfort zone.The isolation also forces your mind to reflect on what you left behind. Both good things and bad things. You look at your past life from a new perspective. You may begin to appreciate more of the things you were taking granted. Or you could find that life is better. Bring a kindle and laptop and acquire knowledge about things that you're interested in. Sleep with women who have funny accents. Then come home with a renewed vigor and attitude about your life.

If you can't afford to strike out on your own for a few months in a faraway land, bust your ass and save a stash of cash. Research a place that's intriguing for you and make it happen. Work toward it.

As far as your goals, man, finding a girl needs to be last in your order. The others are noble. But again, if you take some time off to flee the country for a bit it really forces you to think more than you're used to. Take some personal time to get your head straight and reflect on what it is you want from life.

As far as the self hatred, quit that. Next time you're shaving and looking at your face in the mirror tell yourself that you are enough.

[philosophical_recovery]

My advice:

Find something that you want to work on. For simplicity, let's say it's drawing. Get a cheap sketchbook. Carry it with you at all times. After work, go to the local library and sit down and follow lessons in one of the drawing books there. Date all of your drawings. Dedicate 30 minutes to an hour EVERY DAMN DAY NO MATTER WHAT. All you've invested is some time, and about 10-20 bucks for some pencils and a sketchbook, because the library is free.

When you look back on your old work months later, trust me, you will see a huge improvement in a fundamental skill. This can be applied to anything. It's a lot easier with a tangible, recordable goal like drawing. This is motivating. You need to put in the consistent, daily effort, no matter how much of a bitch you are feeling at a given moment.

[WanderingSoul]

Easy solution here I think.

1. Downgrade and minimize your living expenses.
2. Get a part time job.
3. Quit your full time job.
4. Enroll in MBA program.
5. Meet girls on your college campus.
6. Start working on your own business while doing your MBA.

Or, don't enroll in an MBA program, and focus all of your energy on starting your own business. If that's really your dream, the MBA probably isn't necessary.

Make a decision on what you really want to do, and then go for it.