[Libertas]

Alright, so after doing some day gaming and conquering approach anxiety, this is now my sticking point - maintaining momentum from the approach to get a Day 2.

I've found that if I'm not rejected immediately, I have a pretty good chance of having a good conversation and even a mini-date with a girl. I really don't like taking stats and the like, but about 20% of my approaches end up in lengthy conversations and then phone numbers being exchanged. For somebody that was really afraid of doing this not too long ago, I must say that's pretty remarkable.

Yet we all know phone numbers are nearly worthless, and I'm having a hard time with maintaining that momentum with text/phone game. Now, some of these numbers of course are going to flake no matter what, I understand that much.

But other times...I've had instant dates that have flaked.

Now obviously the best answer is to run tighter game, which I'm working on, but do you guys have any tips to up a beginner's text/phone game?

I just met another girl today and we talked for probably at least a half hour, as I was showing her around. She quipped she had a boyfriend (which I didn't acknowledge), but volunteered to give me her number anyway.

I'm planning to text her later tonight with the customary "nice to meet you earlier" with the added callback humor of calling her a non-drinker (because she was 20 and I teased her about how she couldn't do anything fun).

Also, I've tended to just not send any more messages if girls don't respond the first time. I think continuing on doing that is needy, but other times I wonder if it's better to be a bit more persistent. How do you guys handle some of that stuff?

I guess what I'm asking is, how do you guys start the exchange, and how do you maintain momentum throughout to increase your chance of a Day 2?

[Sketness]

A lot of times you have to make your impression on day 1.

This means building a stronger connection between you and her. You can accomplish that by telling interesting stories about yourself, when you are on a subject asking her how that subject makes her feel.

Overall you cant help which girl is into you or not, all you can do is present the best that you have to offer and the rest is up to her.

I personally wouldn't mess with girls with boyfriends unless i had a strong feeling that they would cheat ( and usually if she is telling you about her bf up front she is most likely not down to cheat, there always is that outlier but for the most part no)

So in your case I would stick to the basics; get the number, send a quick follow up text the same day ( 30 min- a 1hr later) for example...

hey it was nice meeting you today, lets check out that bookstore sometime in the future

If she hits you back, sweet proceed as normal and set up a date to meet in person, if not go out and try again.

Your not going to get a date every time out of a number, just face it. Sometimes it happens and sometimes it dosen't.

Both you and I, along with all of the guys on this forum have to put in work if we are going to see results its just the way it is. If it were easy, every motherfucker would be doing it. Since it is not easy, its only the persistent that are able to push through that initial pain wall to achieve greatness.

Keep going man, your journey is only starting.

[Saucey!]

Anybody else have any words of wisdom on this subject? I have found myself in the same boat as Libertas- I'm getting numbers consistently when I approach, but the flake response rate is really high. And I'm having trouble delineating where to improve, because the interactions have been quite varied in nature- from short and random, to longer and more intense, where the girl has actually seemed pleased to have met me. Instadates, as well.

So as you daygame more, you learn how to build more vibe and sexual tension quicker and more easily? Because it's a number's game to some extent, but of course you want to maximize your odds. What's even a ballpark average flake to number grab ratio? Of course I should probably be going for broke anyway, right? And not even bothering with getting a number. It's just a difficult mind set to adopt during the day.

[Noir]

I will assume flaking here refers to responses not dates.

Accept that girls flake shit loads, if you meet them out at night especially. Phone numbers are worthless, facebook even more so.


With girls who I meet at clubs, festivals or nights out it's touch and go because it's not as simple as on the street, grocery store etc.. You gotta be able to get her in to her previous state of mind and its usually harder. You can't stand out as the guy who she met at the coffee shop or grocery store or yoga class. 'Nights out' puts you into a whole new pool of lameness hence I go for a full monty at night or I don't go at all. I will still get the number but I'm usually over it by the next day.

A lot of these girls want serenading over text messaging or banter. Text game is simple on paper (timing vs banter vs frequency) but if you want girls not to flake and you want to bring them into their previous 'state of bliss' with you (ultimately this is what gets them going when you're not around, this is just a shorter time frame), you gotta keep some sort of momentum which will build as you go along (frequency).

I met this girl (19) 2 weeks ago and it was on but logistics were terrible and she couldn't leave her friend because she stayed out of town. As she was leaving her friend came and told her that this guy wanted her number. We laughed and I told her to give me her number and put the phone in her hand. We had an inside joke the whole night, with her being a sports science student that she is gonna be my physio and it had a whole sexual undertone.

Re-engaged with McQueen's 'its noir that sexy mofo you met at so-so. save my number for future adventures' and she responded quickly and we had some banter about our inside joke and her being my physio.

Nonetheless, she still ended up flaking because I didn't really respond immediately over the 3-4 interactions we had. A bit of banter but over a long period of time and logistics. I could not have the same effect over text that I had face to face. She wanted attention and she is probably texting a few other guys who are logistically better (on her campus) hence I did not really bother. I will probably see her out again and swoop in.

Taking this into consideration, if I am sure the girl wants to see me 100% I will go more direct and get a meet up during the week.

If I haven't really hooked up or it was a simple number and a flirt, I will message her on the weekend, seeing her plans and if I will see her out or maybe do something.

Girls who I feel I had no chemistry with, I won't bother even getting the number.

I chatted up this one girl and her sister popped up and started bitching, why I didn't ever text her, from 2 months before.

Her sister was the hotter one too, what a tragedy and it could be avoided by me not bullshitting the other one and getting her number. It works both ways I suppose you just gotta harness the momentum.

[kaotic]

(08-14-2014 06:44 PM)Libertas Wrote:  

Alright, so after doing some day gaming and conquering approach anxiety, this is now my sticking point - maintaining momentum from the approach to get a Day 2.

I've found that if I'm not rejected immediately, I have a pretty good chance of having a good conversation and even a mini-date with a girl. I really don't like taking stats and the like, but about 20% of my approaches end up in lengthy conversations and then phone numbers being exchanged. For somebody that was really afraid of doing this not too long ago, I must say that's pretty remarkable.

Yet we all know phone numbers are nearly worthless, and I'm having a hard time with maintaining that momentum with text/phone game. Now, some of these numbers of course are going to flake no matter what, I understand that much.

But other times...I've had instant dates that have flaked.

Now obviously the best answer is to run tighter game, which I'm working on, but do you guys have any tips to up a beginner's text/phone game?

I just met another girl today and we talked for probably at least a half hour, as I was showing her around. She quipped she had a boyfriend (which I didn't acknowledge), but volunteered to give me her number anyway.

I'm planning to text her later tonight with the customary "nice to meet you earlier" with the added callback humor of calling her a non-drinker (because she was 20 and I teased her about how she couldn't do anything fun).

Also, I've tended to just not send any more messages if girls don't respond the first time. I think continuing on doing that is needy, but other times I wonder if it's better to be a bit more persistent. How do you guys handle some of that stuff?

I guess what I'm asking is, how do you guys start the exchange, and how do you maintain momentum throughout to increase your chance of a Day 2?

Do you connect with these girls ? Do you keep it lighthearted and funny ?

Do you build enough comfort with these girls when you first me them ?

Are you striking while the iron is hot ?

With the girl you met today, why didn't you immediately text her to confirm her number is legit? Especially since she "has a boyfriend" but here's my number...

Confirmation text as in, "hey it's that sexy mother fucker named Libertas, save this number" (I personally will text to confirm the number is good, later 1 or 2 days before I'm free I'll build some comfort through text, then immediately set a day, time, and location to meet up.

Keep approaching and texting, tweak your game and adapt. You're already ahead !

[Dalaran1991]

Text game is always the one thing I never get.

I find myself in Noir's situation very frequently. Text game is just so unpredictable. You would have an awesome face time with a girl, then you exchange a few texts then she disappears.

If you keep your text simple and pure logistics, it gets dried out or lose momentum. Unless your real time attraction is really strong and/or you have already made plan and are just confirming it, simple text strategy is good for screening and streamlining the process but do nothing to reduces flakes or upping attraction level.

If you banter a bit through text, fine you build comfort but Im starting to think its advanced game. Through text the chance of getting textfriend-zone goes way up, and you never know if she is just enjoying the attention without ever wanting to meet you. Not to mention the waiting time for text bantering. It can takes 2-3 days for a 10-text conversation. Not worth it.

OP, if you are doing day game I suggest trying to instant date. Push for SDL or at least build solid attraction. Girls are less likely to flake through text if she is waiting for you to contact her.

If she has an iphone and is usually glued to it, you can bet your ass she will flake. Its more fun for her to sitting in texting away the 100 guys rather than going out and risking a lot, unless your game is really really tight.

[rudebwoy]

Spending half an hour talking to a girl is too long, if the interaction is going well you should cut it at the ten or fifteen minute mark. Either move for a insta-date or tell her you have an appointment and you would love to continue this conversation some more.
Remember you are suppose to be the man with options.
When to text can be tricky, I say the next day as not to seem too needy. If she doesn't respond, then do not text again. If she does respond don't write a novel, if she takes 2 hrs to respond you do the same. (See Roissy text article).

[rudebwoy]

Spending half an hour talking to a girl is too long, if the interaction is going well you should cut it at the ten or fifteen minute mark. Either move for a insta-date or tell her you have an appointment and you would love to continue this conversation some more.
Remember you are suppose to be the man with options.
When to text can be tricky, I say the next day as not to seem too needy. If she doesn't respond, then do not text again. If she does respond don't write a novel, if she takes 2 hrs to respond you do the same. (See Roissy text article).