I've been requested to give more info from the ground here in Colombia and I thought I might start with this.
I remember the famous post on a blog years back about the "two ladders" which apparently now has it's own website:
http://www.laddertheory.com/
This all made perfect sense to me.... UNTIL I moved to Colombia.
Now to get things straight, Colombia is NOT a diametrically different culture compared to North America. There are quite a bit more similarities than differences IMO. After all, the whole Western Hemisphere has similar cultural influences from Euros indigenous and Africans etc. There are no real shocking surprises like there might be in a place like Thailand or Japan etc. HOWEVER.....
One major cultural difference I encountered here in Bogotá (and other cities here) is the high instance of women fucking in situations where a bang in North America under similar circumstances would be as rare as somebody getting hit by lightning. This includes sex many of us would consider a stupid risk or inappropriate (workplace sex, teacher/student sex etc. as I have mentioned elsewhere). It also includes couples breaking up (usually for very sound reasons) and then getting back together AGAIN AND AGAIN AD NAUSEAM. I have seen people over the course of a couple years break up and make up with all the appropriate drama and scandal sometimes ten or twelve times, for example.
And the biggie: there is a CRAZY high rate here of people winding up banging their close friends! The longer they've been friends, the more likely this is to happen.
The locals here often rationalize this phenomenon by saying "Colombians are just hornier by nature". This plays into cultural programming of Colombians as a bunch of third world savages who are playing at civilization and aren't very good at it. This is a very common conception by Colombians of themselves BTW. You've never seen more inferiority complexes in a single nation!
I do not buy this theory. I think the reasons for this are largely or even wholly cultural. This is a culture that CELEBRATES passion, sentimentality, and strong emotions. In Facebook in Spanish instead of "relationship status" I believe to this day it still says "situación SENITMENTAL." That says volumes right there! And I think it's the root cause of all the getting-back-together-with-the-fucking-idiot-when-you-know-it's-a-horrible-idea as well as the frequent friend-bangs.
In the North we have our own cultural prejudices which (for example especially in Canada and England) can drive us to the other end of the spectrum, teaching us to bottle up our emotions, which usually means they come out in horrible and unexpected ways at the worst time. Here in Colombia, people believe in "following your heart" oftentimes at all costs. This has all sorts of consequences and like many cultural quirks, it's a bit of a double-edged blade. BUT... If you're a guy who wants to fuck a girl who considers you as nothing more than a friend, it can be extremely useful!
If you have enough Colombians on your Facebook feed, you will see the odd post referencing the "friend zone", but don't be fooled. It's pure hamstering. There are a lot of people here just as up there who watch way too damn much TV, especially US TV shows, and get it mixed up with reality.
This also leads me to think that the whole friend-zone theory may not be all it's cracked up to be. That in fact there are not two continuums but only one. I recently read a post here which linked this video:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K9yUdzoah2s
It makes perfect sense to be that there is only one continuum. I would suggest that the continuum in the above video isn't complete and we need to incorporate those other dynamics of "just friends" or even "total repulsion"![[Image: tongue.gif]](https://rooshvforum.network/images/smilies/tongue.gif)
what I see as evidence pointing to this kind of one-dimension dynamic is that a girl who considers a guy "just a friend" really doesn't value that friendship. What she has is a guy at her disposal who will do ANYTHING to ingratiate himself to her, and she knows it and takes advantage of it. She invariably expends nothing on the relationship but TIME, and even then ONLY if she sees the value in hanging out with that poor sucker and what he can do for her over the value in doing something else. If said sucker manages to grow a pair and start trying to steer the relationship into a more equitable friendship (like one he'd have with a MALE "friend") she invariably shuts him down and in many cases gets angry and ends the relationship alltogether.
Today, when I get the big JF from a girl, I don't get frustrated anymore because I interpret it from a deeper understanding. I no longer hear "you are never going to get my pussy because the universe is against you doing so", I hear "my level of attraction to you is very low at this moment in time and I don't see that changing in the forseeable future, but if you really want me there is a way, you just have to ask yourself IS IT WORTH IT?"
I would love to hear thoughts from the forum on
1) Where else in the world might a similar dynamic exist? Rest of Latin America? Anywhere else? (I imagine that at the very least the DR Venezuela and Brazil would have this in common with here)
2) If it's harder to bust the FZ in North America, how much harder is it? What are the most relevant factors? What's the breaking point where it makes more sense to walk away?
3) Are there any other addendums or tweaks to my little pet theory that anyone would like to suggest?
4) How may we modify the continuum in that video to include people in the FZ? I would also propose eliminating prostitution, or at least changing it's current position. There are some men that even the cheapest streetwalker wouldn't touch for money!! And prostitution is really not the same kind of interpersonal relationship that being friends or lovers or spouses is. It is exactly a business transaction that happens to involve sex IMO.
I remember the famous post on a blog years back about the "two ladders" which apparently now has it's own website:
http://www.laddertheory.com/
This all made perfect sense to me.... UNTIL I moved to Colombia.
Now to get things straight, Colombia is NOT a diametrically different culture compared to North America. There are quite a bit more similarities than differences IMO. After all, the whole Western Hemisphere has similar cultural influences from Euros indigenous and Africans etc. There are no real shocking surprises like there might be in a place like Thailand or Japan etc. HOWEVER.....
One major cultural difference I encountered here in Bogotá (and other cities here) is the high instance of women fucking in situations where a bang in North America under similar circumstances would be as rare as somebody getting hit by lightning. This includes sex many of us would consider a stupid risk or inappropriate (workplace sex, teacher/student sex etc. as I have mentioned elsewhere). It also includes couples breaking up (usually for very sound reasons) and then getting back together AGAIN AND AGAIN AD NAUSEAM. I have seen people over the course of a couple years break up and make up with all the appropriate drama and scandal sometimes ten or twelve times, for example.
And the biggie: there is a CRAZY high rate here of people winding up banging their close friends! The longer they've been friends, the more likely this is to happen.
The locals here often rationalize this phenomenon by saying "Colombians are just hornier by nature". This plays into cultural programming of Colombians as a bunch of third world savages who are playing at civilization and aren't very good at it. This is a very common conception by Colombians of themselves BTW. You've never seen more inferiority complexes in a single nation!
I do not buy this theory. I think the reasons for this are largely or even wholly cultural. This is a culture that CELEBRATES passion, sentimentality, and strong emotions. In Facebook in Spanish instead of "relationship status" I believe to this day it still says "situación SENITMENTAL." That says volumes right there! And I think it's the root cause of all the getting-back-together-with-the-fucking-idiot-when-you-know-it's-a-horrible-idea as well as the frequent friend-bangs.
In the North we have our own cultural prejudices which (for example especially in Canada and England) can drive us to the other end of the spectrum, teaching us to bottle up our emotions, which usually means they come out in horrible and unexpected ways at the worst time. Here in Colombia, people believe in "following your heart" oftentimes at all costs. This has all sorts of consequences and like many cultural quirks, it's a bit of a double-edged blade. BUT... If you're a guy who wants to fuck a girl who considers you as nothing more than a friend, it can be extremely useful!
If you have enough Colombians on your Facebook feed, you will see the odd post referencing the "friend zone", but don't be fooled. It's pure hamstering. There are a lot of people here just as up there who watch way too damn much TV, especially US TV shows, and get it mixed up with reality.
This also leads me to think that the whole friend-zone theory may not be all it's cracked up to be. That in fact there are not two continuums but only one. I recently read a post here which linked this video:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K9yUdzoah2s
It makes perfect sense to be that there is only one continuum. I would suggest that the continuum in the above video isn't complete and we need to incorporate those other dynamics of "just friends" or even "total repulsion"
what I see as evidence pointing to this kind of one-dimension dynamic is that a girl who considers a guy "just a friend" really doesn't value that friendship. What she has is a guy at her disposal who will do ANYTHING to ingratiate himself to her, and she knows it and takes advantage of it. She invariably expends nothing on the relationship but TIME, and even then ONLY if she sees the value in hanging out with that poor sucker and what he can do for her over the value in doing something else. If said sucker manages to grow a pair and start trying to steer the relationship into a more equitable friendship (like one he'd have with a MALE "friend") she invariably shuts him down and in many cases gets angry and ends the relationship alltogether.Today, when I get the big JF from a girl, I don't get frustrated anymore because I interpret it from a deeper understanding. I no longer hear "you are never going to get my pussy because the universe is against you doing so", I hear "my level of attraction to you is very low at this moment in time and I don't see that changing in the forseeable future, but if you really want me there is a way, you just have to ask yourself IS IT WORTH IT?"
I would love to hear thoughts from the forum on
1) Where else in the world might a similar dynamic exist? Rest of Latin America? Anywhere else? (I imagine that at the very least the DR Venezuela and Brazil would have this in common with here)
2) If it's harder to bust the FZ in North America, how much harder is it? What are the most relevant factors? What's the breaking point where it makes more sense to walk away?
3) Are there any other addendums or tweaks to my little pet theory that anyone would like to suggest?
4) How may we modify the continuum in that video to include people in the FZ? I would also propose eliminating prostitution, or at least changing it's current position. There are some men that even the cheapest streetwalker wouldn't touch for money!! And prostitution is really not the same kind of interpersonal relationship that being friends or lovers or spouses is. It is exactly a business transaction that happens to involve sex IMO.